A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hello all, guys and ladies advice needed mainly guys. So I have been talking/dating a man for about 8 months now, mainly on the phone, because we live in diffrent states, we would text every single day. He always has been the initiator and I've just been following his lead. He would make sweet little comments calling me his last name(his future wife) everyday tell me he is thinking of me even mentioned here and there on how maybe one day he would be willing to relocate, and also mentioning how he wants to have a baby and the fact that he thinks it's getting about that time for him to settle down. Recently he flew in to see me we, we had such a romantic weekend together, it became very romantic and we had a emotional connection, you could just tell on both of our ends we really enjoyed each others company. He even seemed a little sad when it was time for him to go back to his state telling me he wish he could stay longer and how he didn't want to leave. And mentioned how we should do this again real soon.Well, for the last couple of weeks after, he became a little distant, didn't receive as much texts as before, sweet little comments stopped, only heard from him maybe once or twice a week vs everyday before. Now I understand before it could have been the anticipation and now he is a little more laid back?.Anyways, then that changed, he went back to normal, I got my normal everyday texts, and also him telling me first all the time that he misses me. I always remain approachable, I do not pressure him, I'm not clingy but he does know I am very interested in him if he ever did want to take us a step further, I let him know that and his response was " those words couldn't help but put a smile on my face, I am curious even anxious to see what could become of us" sweet right? Ok, here's the main problem, after allllll what I've just said, whenever I mention to him when are we going to see each other again sometimes he doesn't respond or he'll give me short answers or be around the bush.One time I told him I had time off work and I want to see him, he said "sounds good babe, that's cool" i asked when are you free? He said "we will have to figure that out" then nothingThen abouta week later he tells me he misses me, I ask, when will I see you? He goes "better be sooner than later ;)" and I'm like ok, but I tell you I'm off work and I try to get a plan together and I get nothing...you guessed it, he replays with nothing. WHAT IS GOING ON? I know he is interested, why is he giving me these weird signals? We are not committed, but we would like to see where we can take this, why is he acting like he is interested but then next minute ignores my gestures to see each other again? Pllllease help me out ladies and gents.
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reader, anonymous, writes (25 March 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwell thank everyone for your answers sorry im updating so late but things did work out, we have seen each other 3 times since the last 2 me at his house where he lives alone, not married, nor a girlfriend, turns out he had just been really busy with his business n wasnt sure when his time would be free. Things are moving along great now. Thanks :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 February 2012): He has someone else. If you are serious about finding love and not being alone for the rest of your life, stop writing to men in other states. You'll just be used as a daily ego boost and long distance booty call every few months.
The only man you should be giving this type of attention to is one who is wanting to see you all the time, taking you out on dates, and in a committed relationship with. Men don't commit long distance. They don't take a weekend booty call and think it's love or the kind of love they build a future around.
You should never be at the other end of a phone or computer waiting for the next crumb of his time. Some other woman is getting the whole pie and shares his bed every night.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (15 February 2012):
 My first thoughts are that he has a girlfriend or is married. The fact that he flew to see you (note you didnt go to his home town) and then the vaugeness around seeing each other again indicates that he cant get away from his home town often (probably due to a girlfriend) and the reason why he came for that weekend with you was probably because the girlfriend/wife went away.
Apart from that there could be a million other reasons why he is acting like this - your only solution is to ask him.
Lay it down on the line - say you want to know the reason why he is ignoring your requests to see him again. Tell him you are not willing to continue this relationship until you know what is going on, as you dont want to be messed around any longer.
If he still ignores you and doesnt reply to that - well he is simply not that bothered about you so you should move on.
I bet you had sex the weekend he came to visit right? My feelings are he probably got what he wanted and has moved on, men can say many wonderful things to a girl, and us girls being such lovers of romance will fall for it every time. There is a chance all of what he has said to you was just to get you into bed, and these sweet words he is telling you now are to keep you hanging on in case he does have another free weekend come up when the Mrs has gone out of town so he can come visit you for sex again.
I might just be very cynical and pessimistic here, but it all sounds very suspicious and the only logical reason is that he already has a girlfriend or is married.
Either that or he is a massive game player and is thoroughly enjoying toying with your emotions.
I would be fully prepared to move on - he doesnt sound like he is going to commit any time soon.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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