A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I've just recently started to try online dating. A few people have requested contact but I wasn't really interested so I politely declined their requests.One guy who contacted me seemed like he might be interesting to get to know him so I said I would be interested in hearing from him. The site that I'm on requires you to purchase a contact, so he then purchased one to start chatting with me. After a couple of emails, I'm sort of losing interest, as he really doesn't seem like he has much in common with me and I can't see things developing.I feel really bad now that he has wasted his money on contacting me, but I don't want to lead him on either. He is obviously interested in me because he's already asked to meet up with me.How can I nicely let him down? Should I offer to meet up anyway just to see if I was wrong about him?Thanks!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Online dating is cool as long as you don't force yourself to go on dates with guys you're not interested in. Go for what makes you smile, intrigues you, sustain your interest in some way. So, just be honest with him, don't waste your time nor his time. Also you don't owe him anything, if you want you can tell him that you are unfortunately not interested and that you hope he will find someone more suitable. Good luck!
A
male
reader, landomando  +, writes (16 February 2012):
When he asked u too meet up with him what did u say? If u said yes then I would go. Because if you blow him off like that even tho he is a "big boy" it still hurts to get shot down like that.
and why do you want to date someone exactly like you? Maybe you havnt found anyone because your looking for someone who has everything in common with you. Maybe someone who is alot different may be something new. Instead of doing what you have been doing try something differnt. Go on a date with someone maybe at first you wouldnt. What do you have to loose?
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (16 February 2012):
 IF you see nothing happening with him I would be honest and tell him up front that you don't see a lot in common.
If he asks to meet and give him a chance... you may want to consider a coffee date somewhere for an hour or so to confirm that there is nothing there...
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A
male
reader, Honest Answer +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Don't feel sorry for him. He is a big boy, and he chose to spend money on you. Better cut his losses early and avoid him spending more on a relationship that is going nowhere. You owe him nothing. Move on quickly.
Good Luck!
Jeff
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2012): Its odd that he only purchased a membership after your email. That shows non commitment to me and if you are serious to wanting to find someone, you would be a committed member. So even though others may think that was fine of him, I don't. Its not honest.
It was clearly his choice to join regardless of his cowardice to play it safe and wait.
Nothing in common. I think you should tell him just that. Even though chemistry is hard to translate via email, since that is the main vehicle of communication next to a picture; its important there be effort into written word.
Agreed- trust your gut. Tell him no thank you.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Go with you gut. You are not a mail-order bride, who is bought and paid for.
If you can't see it go further, then tell him now. Be honest.
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A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (16 February 2012):
 Its up to you - ignoring the fact he has spent money contacting you, what do you want to do? Is there enough to interest you in meeting up, or are you 100% certain this wouldnt work?
If I were you I would just explain that you are sorry but you dont feel you have much in common so you have decided you dont feel it is a good idea to meet up.
Honesty is always the best policy, and if you really feel there is no future for this then it is best to tell him sooner rather than later.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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