A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:i'll try and keep this as short as possible but here goes...a few years back i stole a married man, yes it was wrong but it happened and we got together and made a go of it. however since we moved in together and most of the time things were great except for weekends when he would have a drink and sometimes get violent, if he wasnt violent he was verbally abusive at best!i put up with this as he was so loving when soba, he made me feel special and we were very close.Over the last few months I have been having serious doubts as to were his loyalty stood, call it gut instinct but i knew something wasnt right. He started hiding me away everytime we went out, he would hide his car around the back of our place rather than on the road so nobody could see it. He would keep his phone in his pocket rather than on the side.Today I have had my worst fears confirmed....he was hiding me away because he was telling people...family and friends etc that we wernt together and that I more or less didnt exist to him.I cant understand why but basically i found out because his ex turned up and told me so.....i stormed off one way and she stormed off the other and he went chasing after her!!!!!I feel numb inside as he hasnt even bothered calling or anything, infact hes acting like IVE done wrong to him!!since being with him i have had the confidence i once had knocked out of me, i cant even think for myself anymore. its like i have no mind of my own and no get up and go to do anything. Im scared to make decisions for myself incase i mess up again, im even scared to go out incase im being watched.i have a good job and a beautiful child to take care of yet im scared to go it alone incase i mess my life up now that he isnt there to make decisions for me....please can someone give me some confidence back? tell me how i go it alone.
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confidence, his ex, married man, moved in, violent Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (4 July 2013): Hi there!
I must admit you really did something wrong for stealing a married man. You messed up, now what you've done is turning against you.
However i cannot blame you. You fell down, what you need to do is to get up and bounce back.
As I always say to people who have kids, the fight you face is not just yours. Its also your kid's. why? because they count on you.
This is not just about you, its about your kids future.
what you become is how you will shape your kids future.
if you keep on thinking about him and make yourself crazy over a worthless person, your kids can see that.
It will have a huge effect on you, emotionally, financially, spiritually, mentally and physically.
why would you allow that? Don't. Its not easy but you gotta do what you have to do. I am so inspired by you and some people from here who have problems on forgetting someone who hurt them.
I am going to write an article about how to forget someone you love as quickly as possible. Its doable.
i hope you read my article.
But pray hard, its not easy i know. But you need to be strong, stand up and forget him as if you never have known him. You need to do it because you give yourself a favor for doing so.
Good Luck!
A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (4 July 2013):
Listen you need to worry about you and your CHILD. Stop all the craziness and try and make it right. Leave move on. From your statements he is not committed to you. This is not a healthy relationship......for all involved. The unknown is scary. Seek counselling if you need the support. Ask family members to assist you. You can do this for the mental health of you and to show your child you are strong independent women. Good luck. You can do this!!!!
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (4 July 2013):
 Is he married or separated? The ex is his still married wife? Not making decisions for yourself is a dangerous thing. His actions show you that if any time his "ex" wants him back he will go back to her and forget about you. What good does he do in your life when you are a secret mistress? I don't see how your life is better with him. You are scared that you will pick the wrong man again? Just be single for a while until you are strong enough to reject any man at the first sign of trouble.
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