A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:I'm about to get into a relationship with a guy i have liked for about 8-9 months. We've known each other for a few years but only started talking properly last year. Things started getting more serious and we both admitted to liking one another in June, the only thing that was stopping us from getting together was trust as i didn't trust him. He started taking me out on dates and we've been on a few nights out so he can prove himself. Anyway, the question I am asking is, how do i tell him that i am still a virgin? (I'm 18, so i am legal) I don't know how to mention it, like we've spoke about sex but I just don't know how to tell him. Any advice?
View related questions:
still a virgin Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, dougbcoll  +, writes (5 August 2013):
 you have a great honor of being a virgin. should be no embarrassment. if i was a guy dating you i would be honored that you were. "you didn't trust him ", take things slow. don't let him push you into sex, to be another notch on his belt. there is a reason you have not trusted him. be careful that he is not just after the virgin prize.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2013): It's embarrassing for a guy to be a virgin. Its a prize for a woman to be one. Don't advertise it to everyone you know but there is ZERO reason to be ashamed of it.
...............................
A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (5 August 2013):
 I don't see being a virgin as an embarrassment. There is nothing unusual about an 18 year old being a virgin. The only thing he needs to know is that he has to be gentle. He might not know why all the stress about this issue, or how to respond to your admission.
I am aware that there is stigma to virgins, like they are rigid, boring, too serious about love and worry about getting hurt. There are also guys who don't want to be with virgins because of the pressure of providing the ultimate first experience. Of course there are guys who are thrilled about a girl who waited for the right person, and not just taking her virginity. Until you know how he is going to respond just assume it is no big deal. Saying "I have had no sexual experience but am curious" is better than "I am a virgin, don't hurt me or ridicule me. I don't know if I am ready or not."
When a young girl expresses this, my mind goes, "Soooo? What does that mean?"
You are either ready for sex or you are not. Virgin is a heavy loaded term. It has often been linked with religion and chastity. To lighten things up just say you have no experience. Just like you have no experience in sky diving or bungee jumping. The conversation often starts with "What have you done in the past and how many guys have you had?"
...............................
|
