A
female
age
41-50,
*MR
writes:My husband and I have been married for 10 years and have 2 kids. he has always told me I'm sexy and grabs me but over the last few years our sex life has changed. We have sex 2-3 times a week but after I finish, he always expects a blowjob or at least assistance. He wont cum during sex anymore. I've asked him why and he says its just what he likes. It's frustrating and I don't know what to do.
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female
reader, VMR +, writes (11 July 2015):
VMR is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your help guys. He has said even though i have an IUD he still worries about getting pregnant. He likes to be in the bedroom when we have sex but I can try role playing or something new.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 July 2015): Maybe he's being kind and perhaps vaginal sex is not enough to stimulate him to be off! Do you do your pelvic floor excercises? Ask him outright whether he feels enough anymore. After kids it changes your body but you can make yourself nice and ummm tight down there again!
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A
male
reader, Garbo  +, writes (10 July 2015):
 With all due respect, but I don't see a problem with that. I mean, he was giving, got you off, made you feel good so what's wrong with you being a giver and give him what he wants. He gave you what you want, so what's so frustrating to give back?
I guess the only advice I can give here is for you to be a giver to your guy.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (10 July 2015):
 Maybe he won't cum because he didn't want you to get pregnant anymore. Did you just become parents? Kids can be a libido killer, for men too. Research says that men who are dedicated parents have lower testosterone than those who just sit in front of the TV or hide in the bat cave. Try not to take this literally or think that's because he's not attracted to you anymore. Excretion of semen also makes men tired. So not cumming means he preserves that energy, not because you can't make him cum anymore. A relationship progresses into different stages. It does not go back to what you were used to before. You can only tell him you missed those honey moon stags. You could arrange candle light dinners at home. Remind each other why you are together and appreciate what he's done for the family. You would be happier that way than to measure your love through sexual performance. The kids will grow up and once they become independent they will leave you more time alone to make up for all those years focused on them. You may feel insecure that the seemingly lowered quality of sex life means the marriage is in trouble but in fact this happens to many people. It's natural and it's not something to be alarmed about unless the sex is actually a reflection of other things, outside of the bedroom. Like he's inattentive and irritated and wants alone time a lot.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 July 2015): Sounds like you might need to spice up the love life. This sort of behaviour can be expected from married couples long into their married lives as you two are. To help him enjoy sex more you could try role play, buy sexy lingerie or costumes, use toys (if he's into that sort of thing), watch porn together (believe it or not but men actually find this intriguing) or new positions. If he usually does all the work in bed give him a break and get on top. Try anything that you're comfortable with and don't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do. On the other hand some men actually prefer satisfying women rather than themselves because they are able to last longer in bed and enjoy the pleasure for prolonged time. Once men cum they feel tired as it drains their energy, if you have sex in the afternoon then he might not want to cum because he'd feel tired throughout the day. Another reason why he may not be cumming in bed is that he could have came before and found it hard to cum again or because (maybe) he doesn't want anymore children. If I were you try something different and make sure that your love making is not a chore, enjoy it and savour it!
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