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... Send *untyEm a private message | | | *untyEm's profile:Hello, there. I am a 49 year old mother of two girls.
What qualifies me to give advice?...well I guess because I have had a pretty hard time and have learned a lot in my lifetime.
Divorce, teenage kids, money worries, relationship worries...all manner of things I have coped with and I am still here to tell the tale.
My answers will be pretty hard hitting. This is because I will tell you what you NEED to hear and not what you WANT to hear. This isn't always popular but I would rather get to the heart of the matter and tell it like I see it rather than give someone false hope or a misleading answer that could make them even more confused.
God Bless all who take time to give precious advice here, it has restored my faith in human kindness :-) xxxxx |
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| Latest articles: Happy Christmas: My thoughts on DC
This question has 1 answer by a reader of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
23 December 2009: To everyone on DEAR CUPID, Having been an 'Aunt' on DC for a couple of years I have to say that I absolutely love and adore this site. It confirms to me that in a jaded cynical and unscrupulous world there are still people who care enough abou...
A Survival Guide for the serial Dumpee!!
This question has 4 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
17 July 2007: Are you continually getting dumped?, Do you never get passed the first date? 1) Never assume love. The more you think you like a guy, the more you must let him chase you.Don't lose your head and think you love him, before things have evn gott...
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Found girlfriend on dating site after 5 years together
Q. I have been in a relationship for 5 years with a 41 year old professional woman (a maths teacher in Worcester UK who goes to church and acts like she has high standards) where we have drifted due to stresses that happened such as burglaries, ...
A. 24 February 2013: I have been through the same thing but with a guy I dated for 3 and a half years(we lived together).
It was devastating to find him on a dating site and like your partner first he said it was for a laugh, then the pictures went up and then cam... (read in full...)
A big thank you to you all for your advice!
Q. I want to start off by saying THANK YOU, THANK YOU, AND THANK YOU again. All of your encouraging words and helpful advice has gotten me a long way. I do know I have a long long path still to recovery getting over a 19 year marriage. I fell to my ...
A. 24 February 2013: Glad you are feeling better...keep your chin up and thanks for the feedback xxxxxxxxxxxx... (read in full...)
How can I get out of this unhappy situation? He says a divorce will be worse on the kids than us being unhappy.
Q. I have been married for 14 years and have 3 kids under 10. My husband and I dated for 6 years before getting married. I am absolutely miserable in my marriage. My husband is emotionally abusive...a true narcissist. It has taken me too long and ...
A. 24 February 2013: If you truly want to leave...and you really mean to leave, then you have work to do.
Firstly, you have to ignore a lot of what he says, if you leave him, the courts will MAKE him pay child support, he has no choice in that.
Secondly, you... (read in full...)
I resent my girlfriend because she's hot and I'm not!
Q. I'm a horrible person. I have a really great friend. She is by far the kindest and most sincere and loyal friend I have ever had. She's such a true friend that I truley.think if it came down to it she would throw herself in front of a car to save my ...
A. 23 February 2013: I think the real problem here is your 'need' for attention based on looks!!
You're not a kid, you are a grown woman so why is it so important that 'attention' has become a consuming competition? You have pinned this weird need you have on her, whe... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to be getting married in May. My fiance has been again been caught talking sexual on dating sites!
Q. I am supposed to be getting married in June. The honeymoon is even booked. After the wedding she would have been moving into my house. We have been together for over 5 years. It has been an off and on relationship for the last 3 years. Mainly d...
A. 23 February 2013: I reckon if you hadn't walked, we all would have ganged up and dragged you outta there!!!!
Ne life begins every day and we get a chance to make things better every day!! You can hold your head up and say 'I don't let people treat me like shit'
... (read in full...)
I'm supposed to be getting married in May. My fiance has been again been caught talking sexual on dating sites!
Q. I am supposed to be getting married in June. The honeymoon is even booked. After the wedding she would have been moving into my house. We have been together for over 5 years. It has been an off and on relationship for the last 3 years. Mainly d...
A. 21 February 2013: Why is she doing it?...because it's how she gets her kicks and she's obviously a person who can only exist by feeding off of attention. I think it's quite sickening to be honest that she can be planning a wedding with you all the while she is ... (read in full...)
My Girlfriend Wants to Sleep With a Guy at Work, What to Do?
Q. Me and my girlfriend got together young - she was 17 at the time and we have been together 9 years and I'm more in love with her now than i have ever been. A few months ago i started to get the feeling that she was thinking about being wit...
A. 21 February 2013: 'I actually want her to sleep with another man to get it out of her system'.............really!!!!!!
Man your heart was broken when she kissed a guy, why can't you be honest with yourself and admit that her wanting to sleep with another man is g... (read in full...)
I Proposed to My Pregnant Girlfriend, She Accepted!
Q. hi Aunts ahd Uncles... im the man who orginally posted about my pregnant girlfriend. the title was she posts everything on facebook. you all wanted me to come back and prove you wrong. well guess what? my baby BOY is due in june, i proposed to her ...
A. 21 February 2013: Ahhh well everyone knows a baby makes everything perfect...I wish you luck with a new marriage and a new baby and at least we aunts know you won't be coming here for advice ever again...everyone's a winner!!!!... (read in full...)
Online woman is pinning all her hopes on me but we are not exclusive. Is it ok if I meet someone else to date till we meet?
Q. I been single over 12 months and joined a few dating sites. Have been chatting to a woman in the USA for about 2 weeks and we really get on. Because we get on she has now set her profile to 'private' so she can concentrate on me, and she has plans ...
A. 21 February 2013: In all honesty if you felt the same way about this woman as she feels about you, having other dates probably wouldn't even be on your mind and nobody can make you feel something you don't want to.
Online things are a bit dodgy to begin with and... (read in full...)
Am I pervert because I have fantasies/crushes on younger girls?
Q. Hey Guys ever since i can remember i have had fantasy/crushes on "youthful cute girls" Im 21 and this still remains, Although the problem is this trait is mainly in younger girls(not preteens I'm not a pedo) with the exception of a few in there 21+! ...
A. 19 February 2013: Nobody can stop you fantasising because nobody has control over your thoughts and urges. You are 21, if you have crushes on girls 16 up then thats within decent bounds...sexual involvement under sixteen is illegal as you probably know.
Is it wrong... (read in full...)
Has my ex husband changed or is this a threat?
Q. I have an abusive ex husband who I've recently left, and he really wants to get back together -he's out to a new place for work and has sent this to me - what does this email below mean? Has he really changed or is this a threat or why is he sending ...
A. 16 February 2013: Strange that in the entire e-mail he didn't once mention his abusive ways or how sorry he was for making your marriage so bad that you were forced to end it...hmmmm
He also contradicts himself several times and doesn't mention that he loves an... (read in full...)
Co-worker does not speak after sex
Q. Ok so, this guy started working with my company about six months ago. Very cute I'm very attracted to him and he is also younger then I am, I'm 38 and he is 26. We would see each other but not talk, Im shy I'm not sure if he is the same way. One ...
A. 16 February 2013: He is probably avoiding you because he may be worried that you want more from him now you have had sex with him.
He probably isn't a player but you had sex with him before you knew what he was offering, so maybe now you are finding out that it ... (read in full...)
A male friend of mine told me I give off an asexual vibe!
Q. I have a weird question to ask. The other day a mixed group of us were discussing who we think would be good in bed and who would not, mainly celebrities though, when a male friend of mine told me I give off an asexual vibe, like I'd be disgusted by ...
A. 16 February 2013: I don't know what the vibe is, but I'd thank your lucky stars that you have it because it's probably protecting you from all the sexual predator scumbags that are out there!!
It's not a requirement to be sexual and flirty and that side of yourself... (read in full...)
Why is he being so distant after having sex?
Q. So my best friend told me over the Christmas holidays that he has liked me for a long time but never had the courage which was fantastic because I really liked him too. We started hanging out more at school and going to the movies. I was still sort ...
A. 16 February 2013: Having sex with a guy before you are in a committed relationship never ends well for the girl.
Youwish is right...as soon as he said he didn't want to be boyfriend/girlfriend, you should have gotten up and walked away. That way he would have kno... (read in full...)
How do I put a stop to this flirting with me by a married man?
Q. Well, here we go again! The married man I posted about before is no longer an issue for me, even though he is still very interested. A situation seems to be developing with this man's co-worker who I see almost as often as I see this aforementio...
A. 16 February 2013: 'But now he is coming on to me'
this would suggest he is making provoking comments to see if you are interested in him???...Is he doing that?
Being friendly and chatty is one thing but making sexually explicit comments is another thing en... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girl in his life, but I really can't help how I'm feeling right now after we flirted. What can I do?
Q. My ex boyfriend now has a new love interest, which is fine by me. My ex and I are still good friends. On Valentine's day, we was playing fighting over this teddy bear, so we was in close proximity, the closest we've been in since we broke up and ...
A. 16 February 2013: God girl...it makes you a better person to be able to rise above it. There is one good thing to come out of this...next time you will be able to spot bad behaviour from guys a lot sooner so hopefully you won't be in this situation again...chin up, ... (read in full...)
My ex has a new girl in his life, but I really can't help how I'm feeling right now after we flirted. What can I do?
Q. My ex boyfriend now has a new love interest, which is fine by me. My ex and I are still good friends. On Valentine's day, we was playing fighting over this teddy bear, so we was in close proximity, the closest we've been in since we broke up and ...
A. 16 February 2013: Imagine for a moment that you HAVE responded to his advances again...what would his girlfriend think?...would it get you a 'name' or a reputation? (because girls always come off worse in these situations)
What if he started playing around with bot... (read in full...)
After all these years should I try to apologize for my behavior?
Q. I would appreciate some advice regarding an ex 'girlfriend', over whom I have some feelings of guilt. She was the first girl I ever kissed, when I was 15 and she was 14. We went to the same school and although we didn't know each other there, I'd...
A. 16 February 2013: I think you should just leave it alone. She probably doesn't even remember and obviously is a grown woman with a life and a family. You have no idea what her partner is like, whether he is a jealous or insecure man and your 'apology' could be ... (read in full...)
Why did this guy take the time to block me on facebook? We had not spoken in years
Q. I have had a platonic friendship with this guy for over 15 years when he dated my friend and I dated his. We had stuff in common so we got on. It was a pretty good platonic friendship, we never liked each other in a romantic way. One day, out o...
A. 16 February 2013: I aree with YOUWISH...I don't think we have the whole story here!
What was the nature of those messages you sent him?...and why are you so affected by him blanking you?
Facebook is a fertile bed for suspicion and jealousy so there are lots o... (read in full...)
Is this online relationship over?
Q. i have an unusal situation. i met a girl online. i know many people feel on-line relationships are insane. her best friend told me "your insane, get a real girl you can see face to face, she has a man." i showed this to my on-line friend and she u...
A. 16 February 2013: Like I said...this guy is not taking the advice given by the aunts on board.
I think he is one of those guys who just wants to be right.
Storm in a tea cup!!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is emotionally abusive but I keep crawling back to him!
Q. Dear Cupid My bf of 3 years is lately being emotionally abusive towards me, never spends time with me, always blames me for verything. Whenever he get angry and yells at me, says he need to yell cause i was stupid enough not to understand him. ...
A. 15 February 2013: You can't go back...he told you he's ended it and that you must not call him again. If you try to get back with him, he will just see you as a desperate pest who he can use and abuse even more...is that what you want?...Just so you can tell people ... (read in full...)
Is this online relationship over?
Q. i have an unusal situation. i met a girl online. i know many people feel on-line relationships are insane. her best friend told me "your insane, get a real girl you can see face to face, she has a man." i showed this to my on-line friend and she u...
A. 15 February 2013: You seem to be upset and over analytical both of the situation itself and the answers you are getting from the aunts on DC.
Whether it's cyber bullying, or just a plain case of her not being as much 'into' you as you thought, the indicati... (read in full...)
Is this online relationship over?
Q. i have an unusal situation. i met a girl online. i know many people feel on-line relationships are insane. her best friend told me "your insane, get a real girl you can see face to face, she has a man." i showed this to my on-line friend and she u...
A. 14 February 2013: She's not ignoring you...she has dissapeared because she got found out!!
If you read this site you will find lots of posts from men and women who come here to confess how they sweet talked/chatted up/promised the earth to some or other person o... (read in full...)
Will my wife get mad if I put up some erotica pictures in my office?
Q. I'm a big fan of vintage erotica and while my wife appreciates the beauty of photographs, I don't know if she is as big a fan as I am. Anyway, I just purchased a bunch of old photographs from Penthouse magazine creator Bob Guccione's colle...
A. 11 February 2013: Ask her...being open is best.... (read in full...)
Should I send Valentines cards to the 2 girls that I like?
Q. I am becoming more confident in asking girls out, but I'm not sure about these, so I need some advice: The girl who does my massage has a great personality and is very sexy. I have had feelings for her for a while now, and when I go and see her w...
A. 11 February 2013: Depends what your end game is?
If you are just doing it to send a bit of cheer then best keep it ananymous.
If you are hoping to date one or other of them then probably best to choose which one to focus on and not stir two unsuspecting gir... (read in full...)
Online dating -- I'm an idiot...
Q. I met a man online, I haven't dated for a while by choice...but we seemed to have a lot in common. I spoke to him via the site for a while and then we moved on to phone and text and we texted back and forth all day everyday. We agreed to meet and ...
A. 11 February 2013: I am sorry that this has really gotten to you and yes it's so easy to hear what you want and start planning a bit of fantasy before you really know the guy. I have done it myself and remember talking to a chap (quite a few years ago now) who, on the ... (read in full...)
Online dating -- I'm an idiot...
Q. I met a man online, I haven't dated for a while by choice...but we seemed to have a lot in common. I spoke to him via the site for a while and then we moved on to phone and text and we texted back and forth all day everyday. We agreed to meet and ...
A. 10 February 2013: Yep it's a bit upsetting but don't lose hope or let one bad experience stop you from meeting someone else xxx... (read in full...)
She doesn't post pictures of us together
Q. I have a girlfriend going for two years and I wonder why she never post pics of us together online on her page. I see women do it all the time but she does not. She says she loves me more than I would ever know but I don't feel like she is ...
A. 10 February 2013: Another person judging the strength of their love and relationship by whats on some dumb social networking site!!!...really, it's not good.
Eventually it will be a divorceable offence if spouses don'twear shirts with A4 prints of their other ha... (read in full...)
Online dating -- I'm an idiot...
Q. I met a man online, I haven't dated for a while by choice...but we seemed to have a lot in common. I spoke to him via the site for a while and then we moved on to phone and text and we texted back and forth all day everyday. We agreed to meet and ...
A. 10 February 2013: Don't feel rubbish because some men can be really pursuasive at charming women into bed. They will say what they think you want to hear (true or not) they will be attentive and 'interested' and present, but when the deed is done they dissapear like ... (read in full...)
What can I do? I don't like it when he calls me bad names, but I'm also scared of him.
Q. I have been hanging out with this man for about 5 months, he says we are just friends but we act more like a couple, heres my question!! I have been giving him b j a lot and there have been times he pushes my head down and he calls me bad names a ...
A. 9 February 2013: You sound like you have absolutely no love and respect for yourself at all!!! Why are you letting someone treat you like an unpaid prostitute??...There are some really messed up disgusting manipulative people walking about on this planet who have no ... (read in full...)
I know my man is going to meet this woman tomorrow. I am going to confront them
Q. The man I have loved for the past 10 years is once again cheating on me. I confronted him and his lover last year , funny enough about the same time of year. Since he has promised not to see her or meet her. Last weekend I picked up his an...
A. 6 February 2013: It's been almost a year since you first wrote here of your troubles. You seemed to take on board what advice people had given you and seemed determined to move on from this man. He has obviously kept in touch with you and this has given you some ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont get engaged to me unless I get her a 20 000 euro engagement ring
Q. Hi, I ve posted on this website before and I ve found the answere really helpful so I am hoping for some more advice please. I ve been agonizing over this for some time, would be really interested to hear what others think.. My girlfriend w...
A. 5 February 2013: I agree, it's the love between two people that really matters....not the size of the ring. Measuring love by the amount spent on a ring is a can of worms that should not be opened.... (read in full...)
My girlfriend wont get engaged to me unless I get her a 20 000 euro engagement ring
Q. Hi, I ve posted on this website before and I ve found the answere really helpful so I am hoping for some more advice please. I ve been agonizing over this for some time, would be really interested to hear what others think.. My girlfriend w...
A. 5 February 2013: You could buy her the ring, continue to break up and make up with her, argue, let her bully you and emotionally manipulate you into buying her more stuff, ignore all the bad behaviour, maybe throw a couple kids into the mix just to make things more ... (read in full...)
Was it appropriate for my Gf to start giving my (male) visitor a body massage while I was absent from the room?
Q. I was getting my phone the other night and it turned out to be a long call from my daughter. when I came back to the living room my girlfriend had my friend's shirt off and was giving him a thorough massage. my friend had told me earlier he gets...
A. 5 February 2013: If she really did this, she is not good partner material. Dump her, find someone better.... (read in full...)
I'm almost certain my partner is planning to leave me and our son, how do I get him to come clean about his intentions?
Q. All I want is the truth I'm almost certain my partner is planning on leaving me and our son. He has left before 4 years ago and is starting to act in the same manner he did the last time. Clothing/belongings have started to depl...
A. 4 February 2013: Don't waste time pussy footing around him and trying to think of ways to make him stay...becaus if he's gonna go, then it's a done deal.
If you are not married but share a mortgage or other finances, you need to seek financial/legal advice, ... (read in full...)
If the Past is the Past with regards to Sexual History, why do some keep in touch
Q. Hello, this site has been great for me and my relationship over the past months. Been reading many other post over many months and one thing seems to stick out or contradict each other. So just wanted to hear some thoughts on this. My ques...
A. 4 February 2013: People hang onto their ex's for the same reason they hang onto their old lumpy, hole flled sweater...It's familiar, comfortable for a while and full of memories...but most people wouldn't wear it outside of the house!!... (read in full...)
No marriage, no will, no life insurance and thinking of the future. Should I stick around?
Q. Last night I expressed my feelings, to my boyfriend of 5 years, about what would happen to me if he died. He is much older than me and we are not married. I was thinking about this because I had pneumonia and he had the flu and both were really ...
A. 1 February 2013: This is one of those life events that a lot of people know are just waiting to bite them in the butt and hoping for the best just won't give you the peace of mind you deserve.
I think he is being insensitive but maybe not selfish...it is his hous... (read in full...)
Got dumped by BBM and then he deleted me as a contact as soon as I read it
Q. If you are familiar with BBM you will know that someone knows when their message has been delivered and then eventually read. Today I got dumped by BBM and then as soon as he saw that I had read the message, he deleted me! What a coward!! Duh... I ...
A. 29 January 2013: Know this for sure...when he said he needed time to think, he was already gone.
I don;t know whar BBM is (lol) but I do know what TMR is and if more women stuck to it when beginning a new relationship, they'd save themselves a lot of heart br... (read in full...)
It's a secret, he doesn't want the baby momma to know!
Q. Im a single divorced mother of four kids. I work a full time job, raise my four kids on my own. Along with that I take online college course. I try so hard to do the best I can to take care of my kids and along with everything else going on. I don't ...
A. 27 January 2013: He can like you and use you at the same time, some men and women have no shame about doing this.
If you are being kept a secret, it means he doesn't want you to disrupt his life as it is and would rather just keep things in the dark (he could al... (read in full...)
Out of the blue he says he loves me but can't be with me. I don't know what happened!
Q. i met this guy on a dating site.we are talking by mails and on the phone before to meet 5 mnths ago.was a romantic trip.after that we met few more times.he wanted me to be a part of his life and share everythings with me.met me with his friends and ...
A. 26 January 2013: He's married or in a committed relationship already!
There are thousands of men playing this game over the internet everyday...chatting up lonely women and creating a web of lies and deceit for one reason alone...to get attention. They will say... (read in full...)
What does friends with benefits mean to you?
Q. I have a question for you lovely people.. Me and my ex stopped talking for a long time all of a sudden he missed me ( so he says) he asked me did I wanna be friends with benefits and told me I can't sleep with nobody but him... What is friends with ...
A. 26 January 2013: He isn't missing you...he's just missing someone regular to screw. Giving in to him will NOT make him want you back or make him love you.
He is telling you that you can only have sex with him? My advice would be to tell him to piss off and take... (read in full...)
I know my man is going to meet this woman tomorrow. I am going to confront them
Q. The man I have loved for the past 10 years is once again cheating on me. I confronted him and his lover last year , funny enough about the same time of year. Since he has promised not to see her or meet her. Last weekend I picked up his an...
A. 6 January 2013: Yep eventually you just get sick of the lies and shit that go on and often it's only when you get to that point that you are able to lets go. It's a shame you wasted almost another year of your life on this man...but there you go.
Good luck on ... (read in full...)
I know my man is going to meet this woman tomorrow. I am going to confront them
Q. The man I have loved for the past 10 years is once again cheating on me. I confronted him and his lover last year , funny enough about the same time of year. Since he has promised not to see her or meet her. Last weekend I picked up his an...
A. 22 April 2012: Anyway you look on it, your man is a cheat and will probably continue to do so, even if he says he loves you.
You have to accept that nothing you have done or said in the past and nothing you may do or say in the future is going to change him. You... (read in full...)
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