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My ex has a new girl in his life, but I really can't help how I'm feeling right now after we flirted. What can I do?

Tagged as: Cheating, Crushes, Dating, Friends, Teenage, The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 February 2013) 4 Answers - (Newest, 16 February 2013)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

My ex boyfriend now has a new love interest, which is fine by me.

My ex and I are still good friends.

On Valentine's day, we was playing fighting over this teddy bear, so we was in close proximity, the closest we've been in since we broke up and that unnerved lots of old feelings.

Now, he's being really flirty with me and I'm falling for him again. It's not the best situation to be in as he has a new girl in his life, but I really can't help how I'm feeling. I'm a very impulsive person and I fear that I'm going to act on the feelings I am now feeling. What should I do? Should I tell him to back off or just leave him to continue to flirt? Thanks x

View related questions: broke up, flirt

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntGod girl...it makes you a better person to be able to rise above it. There is one good thing to come out of this...next time you will be able to spot bad behaviour from guys a lot sooner so hopefully you won't be in this situation again...chin up, you have made the right choice xx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2013):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thank-you for your advice, I think it's best I ignore these feelings and don't pursue them because if I was in the girls position, I wouldn't want ex-girlfriends lingering around in the background.

Another thing I forgot to add is that I have never met his girlfriend because she lives on the other-side of the city, so I had an out of sight, out of mind approach towards her being his girlfriend which probably wasn't the best way to go about things.

But yeah, I've come to my senses and I'm planning to ignore any of his advances.

Thanks again x

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (16 February 2013):

AuntyEm agony auntImagine for a moment that you HAVE responded to his advances again...what would his girlfriend think?...would it get you a 'name' or a reputation? (because girls always come off worse in these situations)

What if he started playing around with both of you?

What if you ended up getting a whole lot of trouble from the other girl?

You will learn as you get older that boys are very sneaky,natural liars and don't feel any shame about messing girls around...it doesn't mean they like/love you...it just means they want to get away with as much as possible.

So he is your ex and you still have feelings for him...that's fine for yo, but will mean little to him except maybe a way to use you and take advantage.

Remember this for the rest of your life.

'Don't listen to waht a man says...only look at what he does'

Your ex is saying all kinds of stuff but what he is 'doing' is WRONG...going between two girls is wrong and you should remove yourself from the situation.

If he was serious about you, he'd not be involved with anyone else...that's the truth.

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A female reader, Sylph United States +, writes (16 February 2013):

Hi, your ex has a new girl in his life, so it appears that he successfully moved on.

Well, naturally, he misses you and still cares about you, and so do you. However, do not allow him to flirt with you or manipulate you. Firstly, put yourself in the new girls shoes.

Would you be comfortable if your bf and his ex were flirting? It is hurtful, as they were supposed to be over, right? Second, he is only prolonging your torture, and giving you false hope... It hurts, because in the time when you are supposed to be moving on with your life, he is playing with your emotions.

I advise that you treat him no more than friendly, and you avoid him at any time you can, because you need to heal, and you need to find someone new. Just spend time with your friend, go out, give some time to yourself.

Trust me girl, i am in a relationship now, but im about to end the relationship, i really long for the time i was single, when i actually had time for myself :(

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