A
female
age
51-59,
*weetie39
writes:I have been hanging out with this man for about 5 months, he says we are just friends but we act more like a couple, heres my question!! I have been giving him b j a lot and there have been times he pushes my head down and he calls me bad names a lot, and if i stop to try to enchance him he tells me dont stop, then calles me bad names again. what do i do?? i dont like when he does any of that.. but im scared of him.. hes always groping me..what can i do???????????? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (11 February 2013):
 block his email
block his phone number
if he gets through do not answer the phone...
if the only way he can get to you is in person... then when he shows up in a public place you can quietly say "leave or i will call the police"
if he shows up at your door... call the police NO WARNING.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (11 February 2013):
 Good luck, sweetie 39. This " friendship " is only 5 months old, it won't be THAT difficult to terminate it... anyway, remember : he can't text you- if you block him or change number.
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A
female
reader, sweetie39 +, writes (10 February 2013):
sweetie39 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI used to have feelings for him, but they way he treats me im losing interest real fast.. yes he did threaten me one time! hes a control freak and bossy. thanks guys for your help! i will end this so called friendship. i tried once before i didnt call or text him but he kept texting me.i will end it for sure... thanks guys..
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A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (10 February 2013):
The whole name calling thing is called "talking dirty". He is probably not doing it to be an asshole. But if you tell him you're not into it and he still does it then he is definitely an asshole.
Judging by your passive nature you haven't told him, so until you do you're partially to blame. When you allow people to treat you in a bad way then you're basically treating yourself bad.
As to the groping I have to defend him here a little as well. I grope my wife sometimes. But the difference is that she likes it.
Essentially what this means is that you and this guys are completely and utterly incompatible. AND your fear of him is your brain trying to tell you to leave and never look back.
BTW, it's hard to know someone from a few lines of text, but he could potentially be abusive. And you need to work on your self esteem.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): Get out as soon as you can because he doesn't care about you or respect you and the longer that you stay with him then the worst it will get so so do yourself a favor and leave him.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, Dayzee  +, writes (9 February 2013):
This man is seriously dangerous. You need to get away and stay away. He is an ABUSER. You may need protection as he probably won't be willing to let you go. If you can afford it also get some therapy for self-esteem issues. You shouldn't be allowing anyone to treat you like a piece of garbage. He does not love you and sounds capable a worse cruelty than you've already experienced. And you obviously know that or you wouldn't be scared. Don't make your family and friends find you dead. That's how dangerous this situation is.
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A
female
reader, xTheAlmightyDuckx  +, writes (9 February 2013):
 First of all, have you tried to tell him you don't like this? If he’s not listening to you it’s a very serious thing, you need to get away from him like any normal women would. If you’re scared of him then that’s an even bigger reason to stay away from him, and no offence but if you suck him off then yeah he is going to try and touch you just because he knows what he’s going to get out of it. Go no contact, block him out of your life, even tell him beforehand via a text message due to the way things have become you don't want to see him anymore, ignore him after that, if he continues to contact you or show up, then involve the police. Good Luck xx
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (9 February 2013):
 You sound like you have absolutely no love and respect for yourself at all!!! Why are you letting someone treat you like an unpaid prostitute??...There are some really messed up disgusting manipulative people walking about on this planet who have no idea what a loving caring relationship is and just go around using and abusing others to get what they want....This guy you are blowing off is one of them!!
If you think it's going to turn into a loving caring relationship, you are deluded.
Get rid of him and STOP treating yourself so badly...there are better and more respectful men out there to develop relationships with and they won't treat you like a 'thing'
MOVE ON!!!!
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A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (9 February 2013):
 Hi
You should finish this relationship, he may call you names cos thats how he gets his kicks, but it's offensive and your frightened.
You should definately NOT be scared of him.
Just tell him it's over, if you think he will harm you do it by phone. Make sure you tell others your fears and if he threatens you either verbally or physically go to the Police immediately,with evidence if you can.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares +, writes (9 February 2013):
That's so self evident : you STOP seeing him, and you stop giving him bjs. You are scared of him and he calls you names ! - there's no reason for you to be with someone like him, neither as friends nor as a couple.
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A
female
reader, llifton +, writes (9 February 2013):
 well some people like dirty talk in bed. but usually that's something both parties consent to and are aware of ahead of time. therefore, it's not taken offensively when names are called; instead, it's a turn on. but there's a certain degree of trust there where both parties realize that the other person doesn't mean the things they're saying. it's just for "show" in the bedroom.this guy just sounds like a huge douchebag. he obviously watches too much porn. it'd be willing to bet he wouldn't find it a turn on anymore if you decided to bite down the next time he thought name calling was appropriate. he clearly doesn't care to find out whether you're even okay with the way he talks to you in bed. i'd have a serious talk with this dude. tell him you're not okay with how he talks to you. and if he does it even once more, i'd stop right then and there, blue balls and all, and dump his pathetic ass.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 February 2013): Get rid of him ,plain and simple .he sounds horrible .
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A
female
reader, Ilha  +, writes (9 February 2013):
Dear OP,Why are you still with this man if he has friend zoned you? He is definitely using you to get some sexual satisfaction.Why are you afraid of him? Has he threatened you before? Why is this friendship valuable to you that breaking off the friendship is not in your cards? Do you have feelings for him?This is a very unhealthy 'friendship'. Friends do not grope or force their friends to do sexual acts unless you guys are FWB (friends with benefits). My suggestion is to break off the 'friendship' and walk away. If he threatens you or attacks you, ensure you make a police report and have a court order that makes him legally stay away from you.Do provide more information if you need more help. Good luck dear and be strong!!!
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