A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So this is slightly embarrassing, hence why I’m staying anonymous. Basically I lied to my boyfriend about liking anal sex and he now wants to make it a regular thing. Do I tell him the truth that I was ‘faking it?’This all happened last week. We were having another wild sex session and whilst we were doing it doggy style (my favourite position) he started rubbing my a***hole which I thought was slightly strange. Next thing you know he sticks a finger up my bum. It didn’t hurt and it seemed to make him even more turned on than he already was so I just let him get on with it. But 1 finger became 2, then 2 became 3 etc. Then he asked if he could stick his you-know-what up there. I’d already climaxed and was more than satisfied so I thought if 3 fingers don’t hurt me then his you-know-what wouldn’t either, so I agreed more for his pleasure than mine. We get into it and I don’t really feel anything, but because he was getting into it so much I started moaning in pleasure, pretending like I was REALLY enjoying it, when really I was faking. But it was at this point that it started to hurt, a lot.But did I tell him? No. Stupidly I started moaning louder like I had a g-spot up there and naturally he got rougher, which made it more painful. In the end he climaxed inside me and said it was the best sex he’d ever had. Again, I stupidly said he’d made me climax as well. Now he’s obsessed with the idea of it. He wants to do it again as soon as possible. What do I do? I can’t exactly say I hated it and faked an orgasm, can I? I could barely sit down the day after cos it hurt so much. What do I do? I don’t want to upset him.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2016): Clearly you do need to talk to him. Since you could take 3 fingers it sounds to me like you may actually enjoy anal in the future.
As others have said, when you talk to him focus on how bad you felt afterwards. Perhaps you can try again eventually-- you could tell him you need a bit of time to 'heal'. And if you do try again ask him to be gentle.
Best of luck!
A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (10 May 2016):
 Each to their own, but anal can be quite pleasurable if done correctly. No ram bam thank you ma'am. Even harder to enjoy once you have already climaxed. Do you need to tell him that you faked your pleasure? No because I think, given that he has unintentionally hurt you, cause him to feel bad when really he was going off your lead A that you told him you like it and B; your moans of 'fake' pleasure whilst doing it . Thats not meant to sound bad either, but you do need to tell him that you suffered for it the next day which is not at all pleasurable and that you should have told him to stop , hence next time, if there is a next time first discuss some anal etiquette.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 In this case, you really have no choice. The truth will set you free. I think you need to tell him that he cut you up inside, making you not able to sit down (anal fissures). Tell him your moaning was in pain, and that you swelled up so much that you couldn't tell what was pleasure or pain anymore, but the next day, you were in agony, and that plus the pain makes you never want to do it again.
The guy should have used lube and been much more gentle with you. If he gets "upset", tell him that you'll buy a dildo and ram it up his anus for 10 minutes straight and see how well he sits the next day. Meaning, don't give a care whether you upset him or not. Tell him that in the moment, you were doing it for him and not yourself.
Seriously. If he's worth anything, he should appreciate that you tried it. And if he cares for you, he'll make it much easier for you. Lube will make it much easier on you, and to be honest, I feel your pain! I do *not* like anal even with lube. I tried it and hated it for the same reasons you did and do. I did *not* fake it...I don't fake it anyways, and my husband would know if I did.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (9 May 2016):
 I know that you don't want to upset him, but you also don't want to keep putting yourself through such an ordeal either. You need to tell him, you can keep out a lot of the truth and just simply tell him that you where very sore the following day and it was uncomfortable for you. If he loves and respects you he will not try again.
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