A
female
age
30-35,
*ichelle_lee9
writes:I have an issue regarding my boyfriend. I don't know if it's a serious issue or I'm just over reacting. Basically to put it in a nutshell, my boyfriend likes meeting new girls and getting to know them. My boyfriend is a very nice guy, but is also quite flirty. Not in a cheating way, but he seems to enjoy the attention from other girls. Around 6-7 months of our relationship, he met a girl and they exchanged numbers, and started trying to get to know her. They were texting quite a lot and developed a close friendship. Until one day she told him she had feelings for him. He reminded her he had a girlfriend but he still continued to talk to her. She eventually one day started 'drunk texting' him and sent him naked pictures. This is when he finally stopped talking to her, but I was kind of upset that he let it escalate that far and continued being friends with someone who told him she liked him in a romantic way. Through out our relationship he has met a few women who he has exchanged numbers with, gotten to know, befriended, etc. And now recently there has been a woman he recently met at his friends party who has been texting him a lot for the past week, he says she's just a cool girl and is interested in getting to know her as they have a few things in common. As far as I'm concerned there has never been anything sexual with any of these women, but there has been flirting on his part. He's not the cheating type but I find it concerning that he likes to meet and get to know other women. I don't have a problem with him having female friends, but I feel like he flirts sometimes and doesn't put a stop to other women flirting with him. I think he likes the attention, but don't you think this is messed up?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (6 May 2016):
 Please do not allow him to keep walking all over you, he is treating you badly. How disrespectful to go out collecting girls numbers and flirting with them, off course he is entitled to friends, but it seems he goes out of his way to get these girls to fall for him, it is like he gets a kick out of it. He needs to feel like he is still wanted from other females not just you. He sounds like he is not ready to settle down long term, and if this was me I would be leaving him.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (6 May 2016):
 I am a huge flirt. My husband when asked about it says "you flirt like you breathe I could never ask you to stop flirting"
Guess what.. I do not get a single phone number from any of my "flirtees" I flirt, I smile, I get an ego stroke, and I go home and that's it. My flirt is out of sight out of mind and out of my life... MY FLIRTING does not impact on my relationship at all.
YOUR BF on the other hand is collecting phone numbers and new lady friends because he's truly NOT committed to being with you long term. He's looking for th next big conquest..
DO NOT kid yourself here... there is flirting and then there is seeking new companions.. he's doing the latter.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (6 May 2016):
 I agree with YouWish.
Your BF is an attention-whore. I have no better word for it. But he doesn't stop at JUST getting attention, no... he wants them to fall for him, chase after him, make him feel like ALL the girls in the world want HIM.
And that might be grand IF he was single, but he is not. And it might be grand IF he didn't LEAD all these girls on to a point where they send "crotch shot" and naked selfies. I DO not believe that a girl would DO that if they KNOW he "just" wants to be friends.
He plays them and he is playing YOU.
To me it seems like he is one of those people who are CONSTANTLY looking for greener grass when he really should maintain, appreciate and water his OWN front lawn (you).
There is no real reason for him to do what he is doing, other than for him to get these constant ego rubs from other girls.
I'd dump his ass. If he wants to flirt and act single, then LET him be single. It's NOT appropriate behavior AT ALL.
One thing is making friends... BUT that is NOT what he is doing. Another thing is letting other girls think they have a shot at him.
I talk to people (men and women ) through my online game, we banter, we joke, some even exchange e-mails - BUT the conversations are NOT flirty, not of a sexual nature, there is nothing in the chats or e-mails that my husband can't read.
I bet you he knows the difference between making friends and flirting. Specially if the scenario of the girls catching feelings is more the "norm" than them being good and platonic friends.
It's common sense. You (general you) do NOT lead people on. Saying all kind of flirt and sexual things, only to "hide" behind the " I have a girlfriend" when the other person tries to take it to the next level from flirting, is NOT OK. And not how friends behave.
And I also agree that his behavior is GROSS.
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A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (6 May 2016):
 To answer your question; Yes it is messed up. If he is as good a guy as you make him out to be, then he wouldn't need any validation from any girl that isn't you. Just the fact that he does this knowing that you don't like it is a major problem in my eyes. He's disrespectful and he's an emotional cheater which to me, is a serious form of cheating. I personally wouldn't want to be with someone like him but it's ultimately your choice whether you want to go on being disrespected or not. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (6 May 2016):
 NEWS FLASH! He *is* the cheating type. Emotional affairs are still cheating. He led that woman on to the point where she was sexting him. He shouldn't be exchanging numbers with other women like that while he's with you. That is absolute disloyalty.
Would he be so tolerant if you started giving your number to other guys, texting them constantly, and sending naked shots of yourself to them?? What if they drunk-texted you their penises like Brett Favre?? He wouldn't be so understanding of you doing these things.
Kick this ego-feeding cheating asshat to the curb. He *is* cheating. He *is* being disloyal in the worst way, and expecting you to put up with it. I would have rid myself of him long before the sexting started, and I wouldn't have cared if he stopped talking to her after that, because he got what he wanted...he got the fawning and the sexting.
The guy's gross.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2016): There is one thing about being jealous for no reason and another to be concerned about what maybe going on.You are in the second part. Most guys like attention. Some have no clue that they maybe hurting us by there actions.If you say something then it's like played out as your jealous. No matter what I would say look I don't feel comfortable with you doing that. If he loves you ,your need to feel comfortable will our match his ego.If he does continues doing the same, give the same excuses... Sometimes, when the shoe is on the other foot its all different. I would meet guys and text. If he still does it, understand you may be in for a world full of hurt. I talk with guys, I am married but I only do it through social media and include my partner. So I know he knows I wouldn't do something dumb.Good luck
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