A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am 21, have a 3 year old girl and have been with the father for almost 5 years. We moved together 7 months ago to a new house with a roomate who is close friends of us, (used to live at parents home, never had a stable relationship, always coming and going, a lot of problems, lies, my man abused me mentally, he cheated on me but there's no real proof other than ur roomate's testimony. The father of my girl used to treat me like s***, super controlling, overpowering, manipulative, egoistic. All this, plus he always talks to other girls. A month and a half ago I had to work at the beach and he didn't want to come with me, so I asked our best friend to come with me so I could do the job that my bf didn't care for me to loose. And he came with me , all the attention and love he gave me made me fall for him and I let him make love to me. I fell in love with him and he fell for me. When we got back from the trip I had to pretend that I still love my man but in my mind all I had was my new love for our best friend. We continued the affair and I still was sweet to my guy because he's the father of my child and we live together, but I was falling more and more for my best friend. I always woke up first thing in the morning and go make love to him in his room, until one day he found us cuddling and kicked both out of the house, it was a lot of drama, broken glasses, tears. The same day he asked me to come back but I couldn't go back if my love was not there anymore. I still had feelings for my daughters daddy, just because now he acts cute and polite and leaves me presents , but it is just a phase I've been before and then he goes back to being an asshole once he has me back. So I never came back. I focused on my relationship with my lover and we conected and are so in love . Then my ex sends me recordings of my ex best girlfriend who is a b**** and we hate each other, talking about how she and my new lover hooked up one week ago and he even said I was a joke for him. I lost the trust to my love and let my ex talk to me so we make a plan where he was going to show him this recordings and bring the girl and show what a liar he is. We were about to do it and I felt shady for still letting my ex talk to me but I thought he'd never find out we're doing this. Then things took a huge turn when I find out I'm pregnant. I am 99% sure the kid is my lover's and not my ex's because in the time I got pregnant I only had intercourse with him. The only thing is since I used to sleep in the same bed with my ex, he could have raped me while asleep and that's creepy but is really possible. I still believe the baby's father is my lover. When he found out, he was so happy and couldn't resist to smile, while I was confused and considering abortion. When he told me let's have the baby it will be the best decision of our life, I felt all in my world come to place, and decided to keep it. We were so happy until he asked me to open my facebook and so I did and he read all the messages where I tell to my ex that I'm coming back if he shows us how he cheated with this girl. He is torn apart and asked me to get the abortion on monday. And today is mother's day!!! He says he can't love a liar and a player like me never again, and that the child maybe isn't his, since I lie so much. I can't have this baby without the support of the father, remember I was a teen mom and still struggling to support and raise my child because I have no money and no support from family. My ex made them fire me from my job because he was the one who got it for me. Now I feel trapped, alone, don't know what to do because I hate abortion so much and I know it would be so hard for me to do it but maybe it's the best since i'm 6 weeks only and it is still an embryo. I have to do this now or never so I need your help. Keep in mind the daddy wants to keep it. Other thing is , of course my ex will say it can be his child and that would be a huge argument in the future. Help please!!!!!!!!!!!
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abortion, affair, best friend, cheated on me, facebook, fell in love, liar, money, my ex, player, trapped Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish +, writes (8 May 2016):
 What the hell?? What job would listen to an ex-boyfriend walk into the job and tell them to fire you?? No professional company I know of would fire someone without cause simply because of some personal spat. They would fear a lawsuit way too much, not to mention if you were doing your job professionally and keeping your personal life OUT of your professional one, there would be no reason to fire you.
I find a lot of problems with your story, but the real thing I see is a lot of justification for why other people are responsible for your decisions in life. But let's clear the issue of your pregnancy out of the way because it's the pertinent one, and the one you're asking about:
The abortion is your choice. Not your ex's. Not your "affair" guy. Yours and yours alone. How old is your ex?? You've been with him since you were 16?? You're really young, and you need to get away from the guy if he's all of these things to you.
All that should matter now is your 3-year old. If this ex is controlling and abusive as you say, you should be alone and get your life in order. You should also have a court order of child support and custody in place to make sure she's taken care of, and if you don't have money, most courts will allow for filing "in forma pauperis", meaning the fees are waived.
Get away from all of them. Where the hell would your ex get a recording of the guy you're sleeping with and another friend? It's some sort of setup, and you should get away from all of them.
Seriously. Change your life. Find your parents or siblings or other family and get out of this entire situation. Recordings of best friends talking about your sex life? Geeze. I don't even know what to say here!
A
female
reader, suzzzque269 +, writes (8 May 2016):
 imo first thing you need to do is walk away from both of these guys! next you need to wic, womens care center and your doctor. if you dont have any type of insurance the womens care center can help take care of everything. if you need a place to stay the wcc might be able to point you in the right direction. wic can provide you with nutritious food for you and the baby. they also provide prenatal care.
after the baby is born get a test done to prove paternity and take steps to demand he help atleast financially take care of the child. and make sure your older child is taken care of financially too. do not take any form of abuse from the first guy!
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