A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:this is the story of the first woman who is after me Im 20 and she is in her thirties. I moved in with my cousin in September. Within a couple of months my cousins wife made a move on me when he was at work and her son was up stairs asleep i was shocked at first her coming on to me but i couldn't resist ( I know its not an excuse). A couple months later me and my cousin have a fight but he had no proof of us hooking up he only caught me getting her water when she was drunk. After this incident ive moved out of my cousins and me and his wife are hooking up both still in love with each other (she was the one who said she loved me first). I asked her why she wanted to have sex with me i think it was because i talked about how good i was in the bedroom and what i can do to a woman.she said i dont love him because he has cheated on me numerous times (which he has i have caught him a couple of times) and she has feelings for me and loves me. A couple months later me and my cousin get back in touch and everything is fine but im still hooking up with his wife i know its wrong and i dont want to be in this situation but we love each other and i asked her regardless if i wasnt in the situation she said she will leave him eventually because there is no spark there because she doesnt love him. a couple months after this i get sick of being hurt off her and my feelings have changed towards her i still care for her but i dont love her the same as i once did and i feel like i never will but at the same time i feel a sick feeling when i think ill never see her again. Im dating a new woman she is amazing to me and we get on good but i dont have the same feelings towards her as i do my cousins wife and think will i ever get a loving feeling towards her as i did toward my cousins wife i still see both of them. both woman are chasing me and i dont want to upset either what should i do can anyone give me some advice.
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at work, cheated on me, cousin, drunk, move on, moved in, moved out, spark Reply to this Question
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female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 You don't know what love is. You know what your ego and your penis wants, but nothing you've described is and will ever be love.
The one I feel for the most in this story is the new girl you're dating. You slept with her while still sleeping with your cousin's wife?? What the hell is wrong with you?? If the situation was reversed, would you want to be dating a new woman who was secretly sleeping with her cousin's husband at the same time she was sleeping with you, or would you even care?
One woman is after you. She wants her cake and to eat it too, or she would have left her husband, your cousin already.
The other woman is being used by you and deceived by you. If she knew what you really are, she would drop you FAST, but you're sleeping with her under false pretenses. She believes you're having a monogamous relationship with her, and trust me, there is no such thing as "we're having sex, but we're not serious enough to be exclusive" unless you both have agreed to be FWB, meaning she's sleeping with you under full knowledge that you are also currently sleeping with other girls and she is sleeping with other guys.
I would bet my best pair of shoes that that ain't the case here.
What do you do?? Be honest. Break up with both of them. You need to stop messing with other guy's wives, especially COUSINS! Whatever happened to family, for crying out loud?! And, you need to break up with the new girl, or give her the choice after telling her about you sleeping with the cousin's wife.
You are not the desirable guy that women throw themselves at. You are the leftovers that a married woman plays around with while married, and the deceiver who uses and cheats on other women. You need to change, or you'll get into a lot of trouble in the future.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2016): Out of moral decency and the fact she's your cousin's "wife"; you should abruptly end it.
You're cheating on her now, by seeing someone else; and still enjoying the sex. Your post is almost bragging. I'm not talking about the title, that was given by the moderator. I'm going strictly by all of what you've written.
All this crap has nothing to do with love. It's about sex.
You're enjoying forbidden-fruit, and the intrigue of sneaking around and having an affair for the sake of easy sneaky sex. It raises adrenaline levels, makes the nasty sex more appealing doing it in secret; and risking (if not outright defying) the chances of getting caught.
Love? Seriously?!!
You don't seem to have much of a conscience. Nor do you seem to comprehend the gravity of what you're doing. It's just the sex. You threw in the L-word; so you wouldn't be judged for the primal and impulsive aspect of committing adultery. You are blatantly betraying your own flesh and blood. Let's look at it for what it is, shall we? You don't want to be judged; but you know right from wrong. You want some opinions, but you also need the truth. Don't play the "I can't help it" card. Funny, you just so happened to find somebody else. Whom you're also cheating on.
There is another woman investing her feelings in you. What goes around comes around. If you do happen to fall for this other woman; someone just may come along and steal her from you. It could even be your own cousin! Even better, the woman scored in either case is going to burn your hide!
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Do the right thing and cut off the cousin's wife. If she is unhappy with your cousin, that is on HER. She CAN choose to leave him or stay and work it out. Sleeping with her husband's VERY young and immature young cousin is a sleazy move of hers.
See her for what she is.. a selfish person. No regard for YOUR happiness or for how her ACTIONS might affect her child and husband.
Don't be young AND stupid and keep letting this woman use you.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (8 May 2016):
 THE MOST IMPORTANT THING YOU CAN DO..... Is make sure that neither finds out about the other!!!!!!!
Good luck...
(I could never get even ONE woman to be "after my love...")
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2016): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionUpdate
the only reason now my cousins wife is after me as i am about to move on and had sex with another girl i do like this girl im dating atm but its early days thats all i am saying i wouldnt say im in love with my cousins wife she has hurt me to much but she wont stop chasing me
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 Start thinking with the right head. You my friend have allowed yourself to be tricked into thinking that your cousins wife is in love with you. What she is in love with is her ego. A love so strong, real and worth pursuing is one worth leaving a partner for. But she is still there, with him and I think you are her revenge sex partner-payback for his cheating. He doesn't need to know it, whats important to her is that she does. keeping it secret is just driving the knife deeper. She's in her 30's and knows exactly what she is playing at and how to play you. Sorry but there is no victory in trying to win a woman who behaves in such a way. Regardless of what your cousin has or hasn't done it is not your place to feel justified in cheating with his wife. Between all 3 of you it makes for a Bermuda Triangle treacherous behaviour destine to take you all down. As for this other lass, if you are not feeling it with her, for pete sake decide to do the right thing and leave her be.
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A
male
reader, Frank B Kermit  +, writes (8 May 2016):
 I know it can be hard to resist temptation, but you know you need to stop seeing your cousin's wife. She is married (that alone is enough). She is married to your cousin (again, that is more than enough reason). They took you in when you needed a place to live (not a good habit to get into where you betray the people set to help you). You only get a limited number of people helping you in life, and it is a resource you need to protect.Mostly, there is a child involved. It does not matter what her reasons are. There is a child involved and you need to stay away and let them figure things out. Not sure how the entire family is going to react when they all find out (and they will, one of them is going to make sure of it, no matter how it ends). It is not about how you feel...it is about doing the right thing.BTW, any consideration on how quickly your mistress will cheat on you if and when the two of you continue this? Good luck.-Frank
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