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*indyCares
writes: This is not a relationship issue, it's just something recreational if any of you wants to humour me up. So : yesterday I was reading on a travellers' forum a thread called "Why Italians are so rude."Now, .. Italian can be rude, I am not arguing that. What really surprised me was that the travellers did not indicate as rude behaviours any of the many things that Italians do and drive ME nuts, but all other stuff that's just cultural, or an individual preference.One of the most common : " Italians don't smile " or " Don't smile enough ". I had never noticed that my fellow countrymen were a particularly dour faced bunch, but yes, I suppose you don't see in Italy the abundance of lavish teeth flasing that you see, say, in California. Most of all, I had never connected a serious face with a lack of manners, but I guess it may be perceived as such by foreigners. I would be curious now to know from the Dear Cupiders who travelled what are their pet peeves when visiting foreign countries ( not just Italy, of course- anywhere ). What really gets their goat when they are abroad, and why.I am sure that if any of you cares to answer it will make for an interesting reading. Thank you. Reply to this Question
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (9 May 2016):
CindyCares is verified as being by the original poster of the question @ Tisha -1 : and you please forgive my tardiness in thanking you for joining my little survey, it was much appreciated. I am sorry if I caused you a writer's block :),... I must say you make it sound as if I were some minor Dorothy Parker , and that was hugely flattering ,lol !
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reader, Tisha-1  +, writes (4 May 2016):
 I’m late to this party! I’ve had the privilege of living and traveling in other countries all my life so perhaps the idea of having to write a pithy and witty response to one of my favorite aunts here has set up writers’ block? Forgive my tardiness, CindyCares....
I never thought of Italians as rude. Really, and truly, that never crossed my mind. Your lot are definitely crazy fast aggressive drivers though. Okay, perhaps I would say that Italian drivers are rude. But then so are New York drivers. And the drivers in Cairo, don’t even get me started.
What drives me crazy now is smoking in restaurants. I’m now used to the clean air that smoking bans have created and have been enjoying my food without the assault of carcinogenic olfactory thuggery.
I dislike:
Noise polluters. The ones who in beautiful places decide that you need to listen to their favorite music, either blasted through their car’s speakers, or blaring out of expensive little speakers on the most exquisite beaches.
Culture clods. Those who chose not to take any time at all to learn about the country or culture they are visiting.
Entitled elitists. Those who expect that conditions should be a certain way and lack the imagination and flexibility to recognize that in this or that part of the world, it can’t/doesn’t/rarely works that way.
Gum spitters. You know, the ones who chew gum and then eject it onto sidewalks. They are in the same pool as the trash droppers.
Oh and I do occasionally find myself annoyed by how people smell. Once, in a very posh restaurant with great wines, a large family with a penchant for overspraying fragrances onto their persons was seated next to my party. They stank of designer scent and I couldn’t taste anything! Ugh. The flip side of this is when one has to share tight spaces with people who don’t or can’t bathe with the frequency to which I’ve become accustomed.
I like people who move through the world with curiosity, warmth, and a willingness to learn.
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reader, CindyCares +, writes (1 May 2016):
CindyCares is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thank you, it was a super entertaining reading, just as I had expected. Each of you gave me interesting info , food for thought, or just something to chuckle over, so ... you get an individual mini-essay too :
@Aunty BimBim. Surprising ! Maybe Asia brings out the inner white supremacist in them . Here, Australian are, I think, the most popular of the Anglo-speaking tourists , because in general they are easy-going, unassuming, even humble. If you don't stop them, THEY will insist to carry their hotel porter's personal luggage,LOL
@ Garbo. Valuable info. I never visited any of the places you mention and never wished to , with the exception of India . I have always toyed with the idea of a trip to India some day. But , from what you say, maybe it's not the place for me....
@ brit anon female : yes , I know what you mean. At least in ref. to Americans. It does not annoy me, but I am half admired half amused seeing how, well, fussy they can be. The average American traveller will never be content with the first table he is assigned in a restaurant,he will always ask to be moved somewhere else, like on principle it seems. And he won't ever order anything even very simple, like a green salad, without accompanyng the order with a long list of provisos and requests : in a small plate not big ; with white vinegar not red ; with white pepper not black ; only medium -large leaves, no small ones . And so on and so forth. On one hand they are perfectly right. The client is always right, he pays money for what he orders so he has the right to get what he wants exactly the way he wants and served just as he likes it. So kudoos for their assertiveness.
On the other hand.... relax :) Life is short. And a salad is a salad is a salad ......
@Chigirl.. Sigh.... Italians ARE mean, dangerous lunatics when behind a wheel. It's a bit of a mistery , because people here is not aggressive ( a bit verbally, at most, but it's all posturing ). I have never ever witnessed a bar brawl in Italy, for instance. Here ,laying hands on people is really a big, big deal. But , give them a car to drive and even a nun will turn into Conan the Barbarian.
The casual dress code in Usa, yeah I remember. You get used to it in time, but it's a bit of a culture shock for any European. My very first day in California I saw a sign in a food shop which said : No shirt/ no shoes = no service. I thought : This is surely a joke, who ever would be that crazy to go into a shop with no shirt or no shoes ?? It turns out... half of California.
@ Honeypie : Denmark is lovely ! It looks like a place out of a fairytale. Food is good and people are so goodlooking too, which never hurts. But ... snow on August 20th ? ... Not for everybody, definitely not for me :)
I totally agree with you: this little travel notes, mine and yours, are just for having a laugh and killing time, but the bottom line is, you attract what you project. Don't bother them and they won't bother you. Treat them well and they'll treat you well. Be nice first and you'll get nice back- everywhere. At least that's always been my experience so far ( yeah I know that I may not give the impression of being all sweetness and love , going by my posts.... what can I say, I am better in person, lol )
@ Sageoldguy : I have good news for you, if you are interested in having your head lopped off, it's possible you won't have to go to Middle East. Possibly, in a near future you'll get this interesting chance just visiting Rome or Paris or London.
@ Janniepeg : Southern Italians are very touchy feely, and Southern Italian old ladies even more so. I think she touched you ... because she found you cute, without any particular racial ,condescending undertone. Btw, I don't know in Lecce, but in Lombardia ( Milan area ) the second most common surname on the phone directory is Han. ( Or Hu, maybe . Not sure ). That gives you an idea of how many Chinese people live in Italy , I don't think that they are considered very exotic by now.
As for the smiles, you are right. Add to the hot weather the 45% of taxes we've got to pay also on moderate/ middle range incomes, and , really, what have got to smile about :)
@ Ruby Birtle. This is another little mistery, but I think that it happens to all nationalities. They are, and behave, much better , at home.
The Americans I used to live among and work with for many years and years were in general very likeable as individuals and quite amazing as a society. Often you don't get the same impression when dealing with USA people vacationing here. Then again, while I have no reason to be ashamed of Italy in my daily life at home, once I was in a resort in Mexico which was swarmed with Italians and they were so obnoxious that I was ashamed and pretended I was Swiss.
@ anon female scammed by the cab driver : very lamentable, yet, as the other ladies said, that's something that happens in any big city all over the world if you are not very careful.
@ YouWish : I hear you, it drives me nuts too. Particuraly because I KNOW that the average Italian has the same knowledge of , and interest for, foreign politics and economics as I have of quantum physics : a big fat zero. But every single Italian is a parlour revolutionist so what USA gets a bad rap for is not even a specific president or political decision or military intervention , it's because it's a " capitalistic society "
" based on the market laws ".
I'm like, uh ? Why, what's Italy instead ?! I haven't seen any shared housing with common refectory around , Mao Tze Tung style...
Thank you again everybody for sharing your travel thoughts and adventures !
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 May 2016): This has to be the funniest post I have ever read here. Im in stitches......
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reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (1 May 2016):
I'm echoing janniepeg - "my own nation" often bother me most abroad!
I'm a dual national and my student years were spent flitting between two countries.I found myself highly irritated by Cypriot men whilst in the UK - they seemed too suave and slimy with their cheesy grins and even cheesier chat up lines (which might have worked on the beach with the tourists back home but at Uni seemed totally vomit inducing). And they so overdressed for evenings out - I thought they looked like pimps! (Not to say I really know how pimps dress but you get the idea.)
But British men in Cyprus just seemed so oafish and laddish. They seemed to revel in how thick they were and their crude chat-up lines. A Union Jack T-shirt, frayed cut off shorts and flip-flops were appropriate evening attire - sometimes accompanied by a massive beer-gut and/or a grotesque case of sunburn. And the amount they'd drink seemed phenomenal and they were just so rowdy and disruptive on a night out that I'd be embarrassed to be half British...
Happy student memories
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reader, janniepeg  +, writes (30 April 2016):
 I actually don't have any, but I would be annoyed by my own kind. Chinese people are pushy, impatient, and always need to get the best deal. Many of them take photography lessons so they buy the most expensive cameras. When we were in the USA My mom shushed a local away, using a hand gesture too so that she could catch the best view. The guy was surprised and gave her a face.
I am not too particular about manners and am quite accepting of how people act. I went to Madrid two years ago. People warned me about pickpockets. I found Madrid to be safe, even at night. Once I was in Lecce Italy and there was a piano concert outdoors. The were two old Italian women sitting next to me. One of them was curious about where I came from. She touched my face and asked, "Filipino?" "No, Chinese." I wasn't annoyed but I wondered if that's how they are, touchy feely with people. Was I objectified? Would she touch everyone regardless of race?
I don't know where the "Italians don't smile much" come from. Perhaps if it's almost 40 degrees in the summer no one feels like smiling.
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (30 April 2016):
 That hairstyle is why I never dated when living in Russia, hahaha!
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2016):
 To anon female who wrote:
"I've found Italians can be dishonest - e.g a taxi driver will tell you a price then when you get to the destination will charge you a whole lot more"
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Honey, that is not just the Italians... Same thing can happen in ANY major city. Happened to me in London the first time I was there, driving from Heathrow to Kensington. He took ALL the detours he could find once he heard it was the first time we were there lol.
In Tunisia you have to HAGGLE over everything including taxi fare, and if they can... they will charge exorbitant rates when they see you are new to the country or from elsewhere.
Paris? Sheesh they will toss out a price depending on their mood that day and how the wind is blowing lol.
In places where you have "moon-light" taxis with NO meter going? You will get ripped off if you have no idea of what it should cost.
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2016):
Good grief Chi! That hairstyle is a hideous trend!
It's as ridiculous as the pants handing below your butt trend here in the US. I don't want to see your underwear, or your butt! Pull your pants up, man!!
Funny enough, both trends were started in prisons... should tell people it's NOT a "smart" trend...
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reader, chigirl +, writes (30 April 2016):
Had to do a google search of this, more people have noticed the odd hairstyle of Russian men....
http://weirdrussia.com/2015/01/21/bangs-mens-choice-of-hairstyle-in-russia/
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2016): I've found Italians can be dishonest - e.g a taxi driver will tell you a price then when you get to the destination will charge you a whole lot more
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reader, chigirl +, writes (30 April 2016):
I got so inspired reading the others posts, so I must add more!
Danes know to appreciate bacon and beer. Love it.
Norwegians in Spain: party animals and a general embarrassment for their country. Avoid them, if at all possible.
French students abroad are also something spectacular. Attend their parties if you want to fill up on crazies. I've never seen so many dance without clothes, or with more clothes, or on tables, under tables, on each other, group make-out sessions etc. They are just all over the place. If there ever is a French international student at a party, you know you'll have a night full of weird and unusual drinking games that often include nudity.
Russian women seem to always carry a hair brush in their purse. Russian men believe that a shaved head with bangs is THE look of the century.
And yes, Americans do dumb the food down. I have heard what they do with lefse over there. They also have a VERY different understanding of what classifies as "old", lol. But I guess they can't help it. Some building from the 1800-century is so OLD, they think. Wait.. 1800-something buildings are practically brand new!
Turkey has great food wherever you go, and talkative people who invite you in for tea all the time, and sit in the store and talk for hours while smoking water tobacco, and sure it's because you're a customer, but compared to Polish customer service it's mind blowing.
I thought Greece had.. not so good food. The reputation was better than the reality. But whatever you do, don't try traditional Filipino food. It's sour. They like it sour. And bitter. I have no idea what's up with that!
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reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (30 April 2016):
 I can assure you... I'd be ticked-off, PLENTY, if I visited the Middle East, and one of the locals lopped off my head!!!
(I think that's a valid peeve....)
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reader, Honeypie +, writes (30 April 2016):
I guess I'll list most of the places I have been.
I love Italians :) Their food, culture, country, wine, beaches, sight and sounds. However, I do NOT like getting my bum pinched by Italian men. When I was in Rome last time, my poor bum was full of bruises from grabby dudes and I felt horrible for having slapped a few really OLD men lol... But.. over all, I LOVE Italy. And the pinching was just in Rome. Oh, and all the little (I mean children) beggars/"street rats".. made me feel really uncomfortable. Did I mention the food? Whether you are in the North or the South... finding GOOD food is never hard. Even the "street" pizzas are OH SO good. The drivers are insane! I would NEVER rent a car and drive in Italy. EVER. LOL
The French however... (well, Parisians) are rude, they are crazy drivers too, the place (Paris) is over-priced, and while there is SO much to see in Paris, I rather go to the South of France or Normandy, because the people there are friendly and just so including. I think Paris has a MUCH better reputation than it deserves, and the rest of France, not a good enough reputation.
The Dutch are lovely. Their language is not. But they remind me a lot of the Scandinavians, fairly liberal, free-thinking and mellow and IF you like seafood... The Netherlands are great for that in summertime.
Belgium/Luxembourg are nice too, but the drivers? Sheesh lol. The people are great. The food is good. The CHOCOLATE!
I like Germany and Germans, though they ARE more reserved. I have lived in Germany twice (1 year and 3 years) and the latter time we lived in a small village and the people there were SO nice to me and my children. Not sure if it was because I spoke German or because my small children were well-behaved. The food is so-so - for me, a bit bland but decent portions. Great beer and great wine.
Poland/Czech republic/Hungary - well, I haven't been there since LATE 1980's and 2001 - so bear that in mind. Poland was so GREY. The food was GREY, the people though, were friendly. Bathroom situation was horrible lol. Roads were crappy. But there is SO much history and things to see.
I also love Greece. The food .. mmm mmmm mmm. The people are very friendly and helpful. I prefer the islands over the mainland. Athens is dirty, and nasty in summer.
The UK. Well, I love it, always have. If there was a place I could live (other than Denmark) it would be somewhere in the UK. Cornwall is gorgeous, and the people very friendly, same for what I saw of Scotland. Around London it's so-so, because I think of the HUGE amount of tourists and "service" trades (hotels, restaurants, shops etc) it's generally a friendly place. The plumbing on the outside of houses is weird, though. Food is hit and miss. Thankfully though, in London you find a HUGE selection of ethnic restaurant with VERY decent prices. Driving on the "wrong" side of the road was a challenge, but JUST fine outside of London. lol. Learn to carry a bunch of coins for bus/tube fare or the bus-drivers will cuss you out.
Sweden is nice summer or winter. We did a canoe trip from the North going South and it was beautiful and people on the way just so nice. It's NOT hard to find REALLY good food there. And they have some GREAT milk!! I know it sound like a weird thing to remember, but seriously... if you ever go.. TRY their dairy products! As a Dane myself, there is the stereotype that Swedes drink too much and chew tobacco (eww) and they aren't always fond of Danes. But I have to say I have met some VERY lovely Swedes.
Norway, only been in Norway twice but I like it. And I like the Norwegians. I think they are the most "orderly" of the Scandinavians. The food though... tooooooo much fish. LOL
I won't comment so much on Denmark, as it is my native country - but for me... THAT is the center of the World. The only place I will ever truly call home in heart and soul. For a tourist though, it's an expensive place. Like Norway.
Tunisia. I liked the atmosphere. It's SO different from what I was used to. I liked the food, spicy. But bathrooms - hole in the ground and handles on the door for your feet and hands - not my thing. To hang on a door while trying to do your business? No thanks. And I don't like having to HAGGLE over everything. If I want something, name a price and I'll buy it or not. My Dad though, loved the haggling. I HATE it. And I would NEVER travel there solo as a female.
Austria/Switzerland, I liked both countries and the baked goods are so good! The food is such a mix with inspiration from all over Europe. Roads are pretty good and signs ditto. Not hard to find you way around. Both countries were fairly expensive.
Spain. I like Spain, it's beautiful. I DO dislike the whole siesta thing though, but I don't begrudge them taking one :) You DO have to stay away from party towns (back in my day is was Torremolinos - Costa del Sol area) if that is not your thing. Sevilla, Barcelona and Madrid are amazing. The people are nice and the food good.
As for the US, I think people are generally nice. The pace IS slower in the South, but I guess that is because up North you need to keep busy to keep warm! I'm often a bit disappointed with "ethnic" food in America. It often feels like the food got "dumbed down". I have had Thai food in both UK and Denmark that was 100 times more "authentic" than over here, same with Indian food. I guess it's because the general taste over here is more "bland", no offense to Americans. I had "Danish" food here and I couldn't recognize it lol. And they make a horrible version of Wienerbroed (REAL Danish pasties which REALLY aren't Danish in origin at all... they are Austrian). They have the BESTEST marshmallows though. The whole slobbish dressing thing chigirl mention is a BIG thing is the US, but so is OVER-DRESSING. American is definitely a country of extremes in many ways.
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To sum up my experiences with travelling... You will find rude or decent people ANYWHERE you go. I think if you CHOOSE to travel with an open mind and a positive attitude you will have a much better time ANYWHERE. If YOU are nice, respectful and polite people will (in general) treat you good.
Sorry for the essay. .
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reader, YouWish +, writes (30 April 2016):
 I absolutely love to travel. I love what makes foreigners diverse, the different cultures, food, outlook on life, even the very smell and bustle in the air.
The number one peeve I have, and it makes me more sad than anything else, is the amount of prejudice or disdain that some people have for Americans, as if we are our government (I saw that quite a bit more when GWB was president).
I'm not saying that some of these stereotypes have absolutely no merit, but we're more than the sum of the worst of society.
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reader, chigirl +, writes (30 April 2016):
Italians are horrible drivers.... We got rear ended last summer by an Italian family who then just drove away and left us with the bill.... So that's one more for Italians, lol!
As for pet peeves... I don't really have that many! But maybe this can be said about people in USA: They appear, to me, to be rather slobbish. They walk around with their underwear showing (both boxers and thongs, and bras) pants hanging almost down on their knees, or walking outdoors in just their pajamas. And, they drive in flip-flops. It's a bit lazy, and to me forces people into the comfort zone without asking if it's okay. Like walking around shirtless etc when there's other people around/strangers. It's just too intimate, and I feel it is disrespectful. Like the entire world is your private living room. It certainly was something that made me feel uncomfortable when I was there!
As for the rest, I don't have much to add. There's a difference in culture, that's all. The Filipino drive without seat belts and there's no wonder you see all these videos on youtube of toddlers falling out of cars on the high way. It's not so much of a pet peeve as it is a hazard.
Russian grandmothers behave like they are the grandmother of all youngsters they see, no matter what. But that's something you just need to accept. I don't know how many times an elderly Russian woman commented to me how I dressed, or how I walked, and my landlord in St.Petersburg babied all the tenants like they were her own children. If it was raining, she wouldn't let you leave the house without an umbrella! But then again, when I got sick she even came with me to the doctors and made me food, lol. I don't know any Norwegian landlord who would do the same.
Africans are LOUD when they talk on the phone. Impossible to carry on a conversation or listen to your own thoughts if next to an African on the phone.
Croatians could benefit from being more service minded, instead of acting like it's none of their concern if the customer needs help... But that one goes for nearly all post-communist states. What good would customer service do you in a communist regime, lol.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 April 2016): I get embarrassed by how upfront foreigners are complaining about stuff. My boyfriend is foreign and I work in an airport I find germans, americans and spanish to name a few very vocal and direct when they don't like something. Im english and this makes me cringe, my boyf says it is your right to complain and get a good service but I just can't do it, if I ordered an expensive meal and it had a hair in it, id pick it out and eat it quietly lol. Also love how some people are so stereotypical german or Italian etc Like before they even speak it is so obvious where they are from its quite comical
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reader, Garbo +, writes (30 April 2016):
 Lack of lavatories, bathrooms or as east Europeans call it WC. You go into a huge, expensive store, nothing. Or since lot of commute is by foot, you end up seeing people relieving themselves on corners behind trees on a busy street. In India, I was in this very modern looking building, 5 stories, not one bathroom. Seen it in Eastern Europe, India and China. It's somewhat like that in south America although I've seen enterprising people charging for that service. Amazing how people invest in modern stuff but don't even think of basic hygienic necessity.
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reader, Aunty BimBim  +, writes (30 April 2016):
 What gets my goat are people who travel in foreign countries and expect everything to be just the same as at home, culture, including religion, homes, food, and who shout at non English speakers as if that is going to make them understood.
There's more .... Australian people who travel to poorer countries in Asia and act like the big white bwana, treating local people as second class citizens and ordering them about like lackeys .... no please or thankyous or common courtesies.
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