| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I want to see the prostitute again.
Q. I lost my virginity to a prostitution and feels like going to it again. Is it safe? But I feel guilty too. Please help me....
A. 3 April 2011: No it's not safe, she might have a disease since I'm sure some of her clients insist on not using condoms. Also, many of the prostitutes in your country are trafficked women, meaning they were kidnapped (usually while young) and forced into sexual ... (read in full...)
Caught my dad in bed with my friend. Please advise.
Q. My Mum and Dad are still married but I found my Dad in bed with my friend. My dad is 62 and my friend is 26, they don't know that I saw them. Should I tell them and my Mum?...
A. 3 April 2011: Oh and I forgot to add, you should tell your friend to 'get lost'. Any "friend" who does that is no friend at all.... (read in full...)
What is the most common female fantasy?
Q. I'm very curious. Well I'm just wondering if any women out there can enlighten me a bit on the most common female sexual fantasy? ...
A. 3 April 2011: I wasn't aware there was a most common. It varies from woman to woman.... (read in full...)
Unerotic water sports?
Q. A girl I'm seeing is wanting me to pee on her. I know lots of people will do this for the erotic pleasure, but she insists that this isn't the case for her. She says its more about the intimacy of it. I'm a little confused by her reasoning. Anyone ...
A. 3 April 2011: Sounds like she's turned on by it, but is too embarrassed to say so. I can't imagine this could be anything but a fetish. If it makes you uncomfortable, don't do it. You're not obligated to do anything sexually that makes you uncomfortable.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a guy seems to prefer jacking off to having sex?
Q. I know every guy jacks off but why is it? What does it mean if he barely has sex with his girlfriend and always jacks off? I just don't understand!!!...
A. 2 April 2011: Believe it or not, some people actually become addicted to masturbation, in that they become so used to the tightness of their own hand that they can't get off any other way. He needs to talk to a counselor about this, who will probably require he ... (read in full...)
My dad walked in on me.
Q. My Dad walked in on me naked in the shower the other day, was very embarrassing for both of us. Should I talk to him about it or just ignore it?...
A. 2 April 2011: Just ignore it. It will go away. If you try to talk about it will be much much much more awkward and prolong it. Everyone showers, he knows that, it's not a huge deal. If you just leave it alone, the whole thing will blow over quickly.... (read in full...)
When I leave the house boyfriend watches porn. Is he a weirdo?
Q. everytime i leave the house my b/f of 5 years watches porn and chats, he never admits it, and when i mention it he gets really mad and it's a major fight and he says i'm crazy that it's not true. when i get home and go on the computer he sometimes ...
A. 2 April 2011: This guy sounds like a total jerk with a porn addiction. You are not his sex slave, it's not your job to satisfy him on the nights when he wouldn't rather have his porn. And yelling at you for confronting him? That's pretty over the top. You should ... (read in full...)
He said he would like to be like Charlie Sheen and have a few girls on the side
Q. Last night me and my bf of 8 months were in bed and he was talking about what he wants. Hes studying at uni and got just over a year to go. The job he is going to get from it he will be earning from 120 000 to 200 000. His job will mean him going ...
A. 2 April 2011: It's kind of worrisome, but not reason to leave or panic yet. You need to keep an eye on him though. He sounds like he's at risk for becoming an egomaniac. Like Janniepeg said, both Charlie Sheen and Tiger Woods were disrespectful to women, ... (read in full...)
He says it's just "friendly banter." How should I handle this?
Q. Do you think I'm over-reacting? 2 am today my bf's mobile rang. I thought it was his alarm, which he'd asked me to set the night before, and got up to re-set it for the right time, but it was a text from a girl. I know I shouldn't have, but I read ...
A. 2 April 2011: Yes you should be worried. Telling someone you want to make themselve scream with joy is not something you say to a friend. Dump him immediately. It's also fairly gross that he would ask her to make him hard while he's with you! If he hasn't ... (read in full...)
I'm worried about taking our relationship to the next level because I've never had an orgasm.
Q. Hi guys, okay well me and my fella have been goin out not for about 8/9 week casually, dates, few kisses, he stays over at mine and i stay at his, but no sexual contact whats so ever, we've been taking things slow, which i think is real nice, he ...
A. 2 April 2011: Well you can't expect someone else to get you to orgasm if you can't even do it yourself, so you should make a point of masturbating a lot lot more until you can do it. If it's really not working, try buying a bullet vibrator to help you along. ... (read in full...)
I want to know what is best for a woman. How long should each stage of sex last?
Q. For the women: how long should actual intercourse (not counting oral foreplay, etc.) last? I read that the answer according to a recent survey of sex therapists is 3 to 7 minutes, and very few people have actual intercourse for more than 12 min...
A. 2 April 2011: Some women want hours of foreplay with less than a minute of penetration. Other women only like oral sex. Other women like men to last for hours. It really really varies from person to person.... (read in full...)
Caught my dad in bed with my friend. Please advise.
Q. My Mum and Dad are still married but I found my Dad in bed with my friend. My dad is 62 and my friend is 26, they don't know that I saw them. Should I tell them and my Mum?...
A. 2 April 2011: No, stay out of it.... (read in full...)
What exactly is good sex?
Q. How do you know you're good at sex. What exactly is good sex? ...
A. 1 April 2011: Well good sex can mean many things, but it usually means both people have fun doing it and leave very satisfied. Like Dirtball said, you'll know because people will tell you or they'll want to have sex again.... (read in full...)
How can you tell if your number has been blocked?
Q. Hi How do i know whether my number has been blocked. Whenever i call even at midnight, i always get busy signal. I haven't yet tried from other phone, since it was an international call....
A. 1 April 2011: I wouldn't assume that means your number is blocked, but if it was it's very hard to tell.... (read in full...)
Is "help in the kitchen" a code for being fondled?
Q. Hello, I am a 31 year old married woman with the following question. When I ask my husband to help me in the kitchen, he usually interprets that to mean that I will continue to do all of the work while he stands behind me and prods me in the ...
A. 1 April 2011: Oh and to add, what Dirtball said, yeah sometimes it sounds like you're speaking in code to a guy when you're giggling oh stop it... So at a certain point you have to get serious.... (read in full...)
Is "help in the kitchen" a code for being fondled?
Q. Hello, I am a 31 year old married woman with the following question. When I ask my husband to help me in the kitchen, he usually interprets that to mean that I will continue to do all of the work while he stands behind me and prods me in the ...
A. 1 April 2011: LOL. This certainly sounds familiar to my situation. It's his way of weaseling out of work while at the same time copping a feel. I just asked my partner why he feels the need to do this, his response was, "it's payment. I will do work in exchange ... (read in full...)
26 and no dating. Is online dating good?
Q. I'm 26 and quite shy. I don't really have any friends where I live and go on holidays on my own(whick i enjoy). I've not had a boyfriend since I was at school and I'm still a virgin. I would quite like a boyfriend, is online dating good?...
A. 1 April 2011: I know some people who've had great experiences (a relative of mine married someone he met through eHarmony) and some who've had awful experiences where they pay a lot of money and only find creeps. It's definitely worth a try if you're careful ... (read in full...)
Am I still a virgin?
Q. Am I still a virgin? I have a sex with my lesbian partner, she finger me. I am worried on what I should answer on my employer if they are asking me if I'm still virgin? I'm totally lost I don't know what to do.......
A. 1 April 2011: Virginity doesn't have to do with sex, it has to do with penetration by a man. It's kind of weird and sexist that lesbian sex doesn't count, but by most definitions it doesn't (even though virginity is a mental state not a physical one). I'm kind ... (read in full...)
Is it not normal for a girl to masturbate?
Q. Before you say anything, yes i'm quite aware that i'm a girl, but i mean, from what people say (not online or anything, like in 'reality') it seems as thought girls don't. But i do... At least once a week, usually once a day... But fro...
A. 1 April 2011: It's both normal and healthy. Like Chigirl said, I think not as many women do because it's not as straightforward as for guys. More women should though! If you know what gets you there now and have practice with it, you will have an easier time ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is inactive during sex and only feels pain!
Q. we have wait for one week together,she make a sex at the first time with me during this one week.when i touch her Brest,kiss her neck and lip she feel good( happiness). but when i make a sex she is in active, she told me that she doesn't feel any...
A. 1 April 2011: Well you shouldn't be having sex with her if she's in pain. If it hurts, stop. She's probably not turned on enough before you start. Try giving her oral sex, or asking her to show you how she likes to be touched. She should be very wet and loose ... (read in full...)
Has the removal of my implant stopped my periods altogether
Q. i had my implant removed over 3weeks ago now and still havent had a period the nurse told me that it would arrive 10 days (latest) after it was removed. so 3 weeks on iam worried and thought i might be pregnant as iam currently not using any cont...
A. 1 April 2011: Everyone responds differently to hormones. The nurse shouldn't have said that it would be back in ten days, since that's not true for everyone. Getting your period back can take anywhere from 3 days up to 2 years. In all likelihood it will take a ... (read in full...)
Does some guys always go after beauty and sex even when they have a girl who loves them?
Q. Hi My bf be cheated on me and when i told him i am done with him, he claims every man will cheat if they are presented with an opportunity. I can swear not all women will cheat even if they find that opportunity. Does some guys always go after...
A. 1 April 2011: What your bf says is bs. He's just trying to excuse his own behavior. The majority of guys won't cheat even when presented with the opportunity. Men and women really aren't that different when it comes to cheating, men cheat slightly more often but ... (read in full...)
Why do guys do this or is it just my guy?
Q. why do guys do this or is it just my guy? So im in a LDR and have been for 3 years, I Love him and we have met in real (incase anyone thinks we havent) and we get along much much better in real but anyways... Hes not much of a sentimental ...
A. 1 April 2011: It's hard to say from a description online. I agree it sounds a bit disrespectful to say he liked to hang around in the hopes they'll rip their clothes off. It's also bad that you're doing all the work in this relationship. If he doesn't put in some ... (read in full...)
Meeting a guy from Facebook... How do I remain calm?
Q. So, there's a guy ive been talking to through facebook, and we've been talking for several months now... We text/chat/call each other all the time, and have soooo much in common, and we seem to click very well. I really like him, and I think I love ...
A. 1 April 2011: Be very careful meeting someone you met online. There are predators out there who are extremely good at posing as teens to lure in young girls. Like itsallcool said, make sure several people know where you are. Set up a time that you will call them ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend who was arrested for domestic violence against me says he is changing. Can I believe him?
Q. I had my boyfriend arrested for domestic violence after he pushed me while he was drunk. We have a no contact order until his court date at the end of April. We also have a 2 year old son. Although he is not supposed to contact me or our son, he p...
A. 1 April 2011: If he's only abusive when he's drunk, then getting sober would mean stopping the abuse. However, he will probably relapse a few times, it's just the nature of addiction. You should give it a lot of time after he's been sober to really be sure if you ... (read in full...)
How do I deal with the lingering trust issues from when my bf cheated?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together 3/4 years, on and off. I'm pretty sure were in love and have been living together for the last year. Thing is we argue all the time because of the past! I'm so upset by it, frustrated with how he claims t...
A. 1 April 2011: Trust is earned. If the trust in your relationship was like money, he's currently in serious debt to you and still buying sports cars. This guy is not trustworthy sounding, so why should you trust him? If during a rocky patch he runs out and cheats, ... (read in full...)
My longtime boyfriend is now married to someone else, I'm happy in my own life, yet he tries to pursue a friendship with me only to hurt me...
Q. I met a guy at college when I was 19, we were each others first relationship and we continued to date on-off for 4 years. It became apparent after about a year that his cultural/religious background would not allow us to remain together and that...
A. 1 April 2011: He enjoys having some sort of control over you. It sounds like he enjoys knowing that he can still control the way you feel. You need to stop responding. Block his number, block him, never contact him again, especially if he contacts you. Never ... (read in full...)
Is he just projecting his insecurities onto me so he can feel better about himself?
Q. A guy I was dating told me he didn't want to date me anymore because I still live at home (I'm 28) but I work full time and I pay my parents rent, and I am in school part time to be a nurse. I already have my Bachelor Degree in elementary education, ...
A. 1 April 2011: Sounds like he's the one feeling like a loser. By calling you one for the only thing that you don't have that he does, he makes himself feel better. It's the same way the bullies in elementary school operated. In this economy it's totally normal to ... (read in full...)
Is setting up a webcam on a porn account cheating? Am I overreacting?
Q. my boyfriend of 2 years had an account with a webcam live porn site late last year and i freaked out about it saying its like cheating so he told me he wouldnt use it anymore. I told him I dont mind him looking at regular porn and that i just dont...
A. 1 April 2011: It's interacting with someone sexually, I think most women would consider that cheating. How bad it is compared to porn depends on who he's chatting with. If he's chatting with women not in the sex industry, then that's completely different from ... (read in full...)
Worried about my penis size
Q. i have a 5.7 inch erect penis length and 4.3 girth is this enough to satisfy a girl?......
A. 31 March 2011: Most women don't care about penis size unless it's too big, because then it hurts. The vast vast majority of women don't orgasm from penetration. I've never heard a woman say a guy was great in bed because of his penis size, but I have heard many ... (read in full...)
Why do so many women hate porn?
Q. Maybe I'm opening a can of worms here, but why are so many woman so vehemently against porn? What is there about it that makes it so evil? I read so many questions from women who are disgusted by their partner's porn use. Some consider it as b...
A. 31 March 2011: A lot of women consider it cheating. And in reality, your brain feels as though it is physically having sex when you masturbate to porn. When your brain reacts to viewing porn as opposed to masturbating while using your imagination, it reacts ... (read in full...)
How can I get my husband to make love to me, rather than just having sex?
Q. [MOD NOTE] User has written duplicates of one question, so we have combined the two in one post. I love my husband dearly, but he doesn't know how to make love to me. He thinks that having sex is making love. How do I make him understand the d...
A. 31 March 2011: You can't force intimacy. But you can try a seduction on your own. Your wording is interesting, he won't do it to me. Why can't you do it to him? If he can't understand how to make love to you, you should make love to him, show him how it's done. ... (read in full...)
Confused that BF interrupted love making to use bathroom.
Q. Can someone explain this to me? Woke up when the alarm went off this morning, bf of 7 months was kissing my neck...so we ended up having sex, and kinda half way through, he stops and says "gotta go, baby"...I was like, "go where?" and he jumps out ...
A. 31 March 2011: It's pretty much physically impossible to pee while fully hard. It sounds like he ran out of time or something and finished himself off for some reason? Unless this is a frequent occurrence it's probably nothing.... (read in full...)
Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating?
Q. Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating? I found out that my bf of 7 months has some porn videos of women from the internet on his computer. He has done nothing to make me doubt my trust in him, but I'm a little worried that looking at ...
A. 31 March 2011: I read another study that looked more in depth, it's actually women who are far more likely to cheat than men after engaging in porn use. I'm sorry if my last answer was confusing, I meant porn doesn't lead to cheating, I'd say people who are ... (read in full...)
Should I be jealous if my girl sits in my friends lap (innocently)?
Q. Hello Everyone. I have been dating this girl for about a year and a half and so far we haven't really fought over anything major, at least rarely. Recently, after saying I would stop being jealous over stupid stuff, might have been a bad idea, she ...
A. 31 March 2011: Hmmm it sounds weird, but at the same time it really does depend on the individual situation. If it's a guy who everyone just regards as a teddy bear, then it's different from the guy who's a known player. Either way, if it's making you ... (read in full...)
My wife to be revealed her sexual past. I feel sick to my stomach
Q. I am 31, she is 29. She is drop dead gorgeous. We fell in love a year and a half ago when she was one of my day nurses when I had spent some time in the hospital recovering from a tumor in my knee (non cancerous) During our time dating, I would ...
A. 31 March 2011: Sex for a prostitute is not sex. It is work. Horrible horrible work. She didn't want to have sex with those men, she was desperate for money. Most strippers and prostitutes say that they have to imagine physically hurting their clients to get ... (read in full...)
Husband texting someone 100 times a day!
Q. I just found out my husband has been texting another women all the time sometimes 100 times a day. When I confronted him he said they were just friends and she is just someone funny to talk to. When I asked him to explain why he accuses me of not ...
A. 31 March 2011: I agree this sounds excessive. Even more worrying is how defensive he got. If there was really nothing there then he would be reassuring instead of angry. It's fairly inappropriate to have a female friend he texts 100 times a day. He may not have ... (read in full...)
He'd be mad if I was looking at porn, so why is he doing it?
Q. my boyfriend and i have been together for a year and a half and we love each other... in our relationship we both found out we are very jealous people when it comes to the opposite sex with each other. well the other day i found porn on his phone... ...
A. 31 March 2011: Because he's a big hypocrite, that's why. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. Meaning he expects you to be utterly and completely devoted to him and to know you only have eyes for him, while not planning on adhering to this strict mental ... (read in full...)
I'm not sure how to read my American boss. What do you think?
Q. I’m a foreign student and working in my university while I am studding, Today I finished my job and it took 5 minutes longer than I suppose to work. I was cleaning my desk and putting the stuff on the places that they should be quickly to go because ...
A. 31 March 2011: Just a bit of sarcasm and teasing. She was being friendly. Don't read too much into it.... (read in full...)
What are the chances that the baby is not my boyfriend's?
Q. Please don't judge me for this I feel awful as it is - I am currently almost eight months pregnant. I am due on may 10th and my last period began on august the fifth. I have a steady boyfriend who I am sorry to say I cheated on once on the evening ...
A. 31 March 2011: Slim to none. If he didn't even ejaculate in you, the only way for him to have gotten you pregnant is if he had ejaculated since last urinating before penetrating you AND for you to be ovulating during that time. You could always ask for a paternity ... (read in full...)
I'm witholding sex from him to show him how angry I am about our sex life and him watching porn!
Q. Hello Well, I'm going to admit this on DC because I don't think I can say it out loud. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He looks at porn pretty much every time I leave the house. I know because the history on his computer is alwa...
A. 30 March 2011: You have to talk to him about this. Witholding sex won't help anything, it will just make him want to use porn more. If he won't even discuss it with you, you may want to see a couples counselor. I also have heard great things about the book The ... (read in full...)
Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating?
Q. Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating? I found out that my bf of 7 months has some porn videos of women from the internet on his computer. He has done nothing to make me doubt my trust in him, but I'm a little worried that looking at ...
A. 30 March 2011: No, probably not. If he hasn't done something to make you doubt his trust, this won't change anything. One study found that people who watch porn are 300% more likely to cheat than people who don't, but it's really a chicken and egg scenario. ... (read in full...)
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