| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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He has a tape of him and his ex together, why does he want to keep it? And what is with all the lies?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 4 months and everything seemed fine. Then (2 months into it) I found out he was watching porn. I have told him about the fact that I have a problem with it. He looked me in the eyes and promised not to look at it ...
A. 17 November 2010: Hmmm well to be honest it's probably hard to get rid of a "souvenir" like that. I can see why especially in a new relationship you would hold onto it just in case. I'm far more concerned about the lying. It would have been easy to just explain why ... (read in full...)
He has a tape of him and his ex together, why does he want to keep it? And what is with all the lies?
Q. I have been dating this guy for 4 months and everything seemed fine. Then (2 months into it) I found out he was watching porn. I have told him about the fact that I have a problem with it. He looked me in the eyes and promised not to look at it ...
A. 17 November 2010: Dump him immediately. This is red flag cheating behavior, hanging on to a sex video of his ex-girlfriend. If it was something covered in dust and stowed away and genuinely forgotten and untouched, that would be one thing. But a guy who actively ... (read in full...)
Why would a person say "If I was not with my current boyfriend, I would have this other guy instead"?
Q. Its just a simple question, why would a person say "If I was not with my current boyfriend, I would have this other guy instead"? What does this show? Should I warn the boyfriend? This guy is my friend and I over heard this from a friend and worries ...
A. 17 November 2010: It doesn't mean anything. At worst it means she has a crush on someone else. The fact that she mentioned her boyfriend in that context means she probably knows it's totally wrong to cheat on him. I sounds like a passing, "sigh isn't he dreamy?" ... (read in full...)
Did I start my pill on the wrong day?
Q. So I started birth control(for medical reasons, don't worry I'm not having sex) but I think I started at the wrong time and I'm worried. What happened is I started the Sunday of my period, which was also the first day, but the next day I wasn't ...
A. 11 November 2010: You can start the pill any day of your cycle and it won't affect anything. If you did start it during your period, it will stop the bleeding. A "normal" amount of time is 1-3 days to stop bleeding once you start the pill. The pill in a sense stops ... (read in full...)
Threesomes... good or bad idea???
Q. What do you think.... threesomes, good or bad idea?? in general! Ive been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years now and our sex life is just fine, we still have just as much sex now as when we first started out but if im being honest, I would ...
A. 31 October 2010: It sounds like you would really only be doing it for him. It's not weird or abnormal to be worried about him focusing on her, many ask for threesomes as permission to cheat while in a relationship (outside a relationship, well it's just the ... (read in full...)
My husband wont talk to me. Every time we have words he will stop speaking to me for months.
Q. My husband wont talk to me. Every time we have words he will stop speaking to me for months. He comes in from work and goes straight upstairs, makes his own tea, cleans his own plates etc. When i try an talk to his he just swears at me. Theres a lot ...
A. 30 October 2010: It's good to try to fix your marriage rather than walking out at the first sign of trouble. However, this sounds unresolvable. You husband has no interest in working at the marriage or even being married and he sounds emotionally abusive. You sound ... (read in full...)
Isnt being a porn star harmful to their normal lives?
Q. All porn stars perform in porn movies to make money but isn't harmful to they real life? how they'll live in real life what are they daily schedule do that's also get married make they own kids if they do that how they can work in porn after ...
A. 30 October 2010: Some like their jobs and it's just a job, others are addicts, trafficked women, and women looking to fix previous sexual abuse. No one, not even women in the industry from what I gather, really know how many women hate it and how many are there ... (read in full...)
Do guys like red heads for anything more than sex?
Q. I have naturally long, dark red hair and have never really liked it. Guys seem to like it, and i've been told it's "hot". I'm thinking about dying it dark brown, but i'm not sure whether to or not. Sometimes i think guys are just interested or ...
A. 29 October 2010: I think it just has more to do with attractive people attracting more people. Meaning they'll tend to attract slime balls and guys who just want sex on top of a few nice ones. Hair color doesn't have anything to do with finding a nice guy, it just ... (read in full...)
Do guys check out other girls to make their girlfriend mad?
Q. Im have a question that id love peoples input on. Do guys check out other girls in front of their girlfriends knowing that it makes the girlfriend mad and do they do it for that reason? Or do they really not notice. Every guy ive been serious with ...
A. 29 October 2010: You probably do it too without realizing. If it's just quickly looking at someone, everyone does that. Most guys I've known say they usually do it so sub-consciously they honestly don't even realize they're doing it. It's like a momentary thing that ... (read in full...)
Does being on birth control make me a slut?
Q. I am 14 years old and i am on birth control without a bf does that make me a slut or a whore or anything on thoes means ???? ...
A. 29 October 2010: Unless you exchange sex for money then you are not a whore. Like CaringGuy said, when people call other people sluts it's usually out of jealousy or a result of simply not liking someone's personality. Birth control pills can regulate your period, ... (read in full...)
She wants me to cum in her face but I respect her too much to do that...
Q. Ok guys dont give me hell or call me a pansy. My gf asked me to cum in her face while she was giving me a blow job last week, and I totally froze up and couldnt do anything. I have watched it in porn and I dont see it as a turn on at all. Honestly...
A. 27 October 2010: There should be more guys like you.
Just tell her you're uncomfortable doing it. You absolutely don't have to do anything sexually you aren't comfortable with. If you don't want to do something, she needs to accept your answer that you're just not... (read in full...)
I didn't actually feel him finish in my mouth!
Q. Ok so I am not really sure how to exactly ask this so as I write I hope it's clear. So today I found out that well I was giving my bf a blowjob he actually came in my mouth and I never knew until today. Witch i don't get because people say that it ...
A. 26 October 2010: Guess that just means you're both lucky that you don't taste it, he gets more blowjobs since it doesn't make you gag, everyone wins. Unless you want it to taste bad, I don't see a problem. If it ain't broke, don't fix it.... (read in full...)
When will I start enjoying sex? What should bf and I do?
Q. My boyfriend and I started having sex last month. With school we can't really manage to get together more than once a week, but when we do it's pretty uncomfortable. It has hurt each time, and I'm pretty dry. We glob on lube (silicone, if it makes a ...
A. 26 October 2010: Drinking water actually can have an effect. You know how when you're dehydrated your mouth can feel dry? Same deal with your vagina. So try drinking a bit more water. Also, does it sting when you don't use lube? Many women have nasty reactions to ... (read in full...)
Should I have a kid; don't get off
Q. Moderator note: two questions from the same address Hello. Well me and this guy are talking and I want to have unprotected sex one time and he does too, because he said if you want to we can do it one time. Well we have only had sex 4-5 times wi...
A. 26 October 2010: Well I'll answer your second question first. Most women can't orgasm from penetrative sex alone. It's around a quarter who can. Most women either need oral or digital stimulation to get off. If you actually are getting close from sex, then make sure ... (read in full...)
I feel used after sex
Q. Okay well I'm 14 and me and my friend are "talking" to these two guys who are best friends and my guy who is 16 lives with my friends guy who is 15. Well we are having sex on and off and I give my guy blowjobs all the time. Well after we have sex he ...
A. 26 October 2010: It sounds like you're just giving and get nothing in return. If you're not feeling good from having sex or giving blowjobs, then stop doing it. It does sound like he's using you, you're right to feel bad about it. So stop doing it and find someone ... (read in full...)
Is porno all the same to women?
Q. Ok so if a girl finds evidence of her guy using "porn", does it make any difference what kind? like would some swimsuit issues be as bad as an X-rated video? Does the type of content matter? What exactly is porn to you? When people hear the ...
A. 24 October 2010: Except for the fact that I've never heard of someone feeling devastated by their partner NOT looking at porn. It's not a common thing to feel hurt by a partner not getting off on other people, but I'm of the impression it's pretty common to be hurt ... (read in full...)
Is porno all the same to women?
Q. Ok so if a girl finds evidence of her guy using "porn", does it make any difference what kind? like would some swimsuit issues be as bad as an X-rated video? Does the type of content matter? What exactly is porn to you? When people hear the ...
A. 24 October 2010: I can't remember who conducted the study and I don't have access to the journals currently since I'm not on a campus. But the way they did it was that they showed women pictures of men with a list of their "traits" and had them rate their ... (read in full...)
DO women have better sex than men???
Q. My partner was basically saying in not so many words that I should be jealous that women have better sex than men. I.e. better and longer orgasms. I felt quite annoyed about this, as I had never really thought about it until this conversation. No...
A. 24 October 2010: I was always under the impression that women tend to have better orgasms (longer or multiples) but that men can enjoy the actual act of sex more, since you can feel pleasure throughout your whole penis whereas women can't really feel much inside ... (read in full...)
Why is he doing this after a year?
Q. Thanks in advance for reading! First, some back story-- a year ago, I was in a FWB/ casual dating type situation with this guy, we'll call him X. After about six weeks, I ended things with him, and started a serious relationship with another guy, A, ...
A. 23 October 2010: Sounds like he's jealous. He liked having you around, because he could have the "perks" of a relationship without having to commit, but now you have someone who was willing to actually be your boyfriend. Now that he can't have you, he wants you ... (read in full...)
Is masturbation bad???
Q. I've been looking at some of the things on here and suprisingly loads of people my age masturbate, yet all guys I know do but only a few girls do... why do you think this is coz most of them say its dirty and they just wouldn't because its wrong. ...
A. 23 October 2010: It's just a private thing. Since people are taught it's something only perverts do or that it's wrong, they want to hide it. It's more stigmatized in women than men in many cultures, so they may well be lying or too scared/grossed out to try it for ... (read in full...)
Am I being selfish for wanting to start a family?
Q. My husband and I have been marred for five months. He is in gradschool and I'm work. We dated for 8 years before our wedding. I would like to have a baby but, he don't want one until schools done and he has a good job. That's like in five years. T...
A. 23 October 2010: No it's not selfish. But it is immature and unrealistic. You have only been married 5 months (a very short period of time), and he's still in school. Having a baby while still in school is going to make life incredibly stressful and difficult. Plus, ... (read in full...)
Is porno all the same to women?
Q. Ok so if a girl finds evidence of her guy using "porn", does it make any difference what kind? like would some swimsuit issues be as bad as an X-rated video? Does the type of content matter? What exactly is porn to you? When people hear the ...
A. 23 October 2010: Pornography: creative expressions lacking any artistic value designed exclusively for the purpose of arousal. You're not going to win any arguments or points with a woman if you nitpick about exactly what would be considered porn. If she has a pro... (read in full...)
How do girls climax? And is it dangerous to be erect every day?
Q. during sex,a boy is satisfied the time he ejaculates.what about the girl?another question is-what are the negative effects if ur penis do not last a day without erection.eg u watch porn everyday....
A. 23 October 2010: The ejaculating isn't what causes the satisfaction, it's the orgasm (the two are actually separate events, you can do one without the other, and ejaculating without orgasm from what I hear really doesn't feel that good). When a girl orgasms it's the ... (read in full...)
Yikes!!! I can't stop masturbating!
Q. ill start off by saying that im 16, and im a girl. im also a virgin, but not by choice. if it was up to me, id be having sex all the time. with girls and guys. im bisexual. i go to school online, so im always at home on the computer, and my parents ...
A. 23 October 2010: Masturbation is totally normal, but all the time probably isn't. Especially when it's become so habitual that you've been digging through other people's stuff for your next "fix." Also, careful about using porn, the stuff can be addictive if you get ... (read in full...)
How to do oral without pain?
Q. I need some advice on performing oral on a girl. I performed oral on my girlfriend for the first time two weeks ago. It was my first real time licking a girl. I did it once to my neighbor as a dare when I was 9 so that doesn't really count. Well...
A. 23 October 2010: I've never performed oral on a woman, but the same happens when giving a blowjob. It's just like any other muscle, with more exercise it will become stronger. The more you do it, the less painful it will be. If it's ever really bad pain though, ... (read in full...)
What does "wandering eye" really mean?
Q. What does it mean by "wandering eye"? I've read a few posts here about women who are upset that their boyfriends/husbands are "looking" at other women. I've never read anything about a man who is jealous that his girlfriend/wife "looks" at other men ...
A. 21 October 2010: I've heard plenty of questions on here from guys being upset by it and from women upset that their guy calls them on it.... (read in full...)
My friend got a married woman pregnant and now doesn't know what to do!
Q. please help to my friend. My friend is a student with me. He had sex with the wife of his house mate and she is now pregnant. My friend is aftraid and still a teenager. He doesnt know what to do, should he tell his housemate's wife to have an ...
A. 21 October 2010: He needs to discuss this with her. It's not your business, it's not our business, it's between him and her. They should discuss the option of abortion to see if that's the best option for them, or if something else is the best option. She's already ... (read in full...)
What is considered cheating?
Q. Hi everyone what is it that is considered cheating.what did the person do to be called a 'cheter' ...thank you!...
A. 21 October 2010: There is no single definition of cheating, other than the dictionary definition. A relationship is just an agreement between two (or sometimes more) people on what they want the other doing. Basically it's agreed control. Anything outside the ... (read in full...)
I want him to french kiss me!
Q. My boyfriend said he wants to french kiss me, and i do too, but i dont know when he will. and i really want him to. help? ...
A. 21 October 2010: Why don't you just kiss him then?... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: Don't ask questions to which you don't want to know the answer. He's being honest, maybe too honest, but at least he's honest. You shouldn't have asked if you didn't want the answer. Since he's done nothing wrong other than be honest, you've got to ... (read in full...)
Why does my boyfriend like his ex's butt better?
Q. Ok i am totally aware as to how ridiculous this is but omg help!! So im in a long distance relationship, been with him now for 2 years (both our longest relationships so far)and we see each other not often but atleast take 3 holidays per yea...
A. 21 October 2010: Don't ask questions to which you don't want to know the answer. He's being honest, maybe too honest, but at least he's honest. You shouldn't have asked if you didn't want the answer. Since he's done nothing wrong other than be honest, you've got to ... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 21 October 2010: I don't know if that's really fair to say he just wants to get off. I just listened the other day to a guy in a magazine waxing poetic about how his favorite way to show his love is to have sex with his wife and how it's the most loving act he can ... (read in full...)
I just don't understand guys!
Q. I don't get it. I met this nice guy at a friend's party a while back, exchanged numbers and now if I have any contact with him its only because I initiated it! The funny thing is I didn't ask for his digits, I asked if he was a member of a certain ...
A. 21 October 2010: He's probably just shy. If he didn't want to talk to you he wouldn't pick up the phone, he wouldn't text you back, he wouldn't stay on the phone long. Ask him on a date and see what happens. Then you'll know for sure, and my guess is the answer will ... (read in full...)
Would a guy pick the girl with the big boobs?
Q. embarrassing question... :S would a guy rather a girl with an athletic body, LOTS of muscle, long legs, a six pack, and a good bum but has small boobs (A)... or would he rather a girl with an average or skinny body, with big boobs? both girls hav...
A. 21 October 2010: The guy would pick the girl with the big boobs if he himself was a boob. The biggest factor in whether a relationship will work is the chemistry, not your cup size. The only type of guy who would not date you based on nothing but your beasts is the ... (read in full...)
Porn the reason he's tired all the time?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and have lived together for 2 years. We are planning to get married next year. We used to have sex about 2-4 times a week. He always tells me I'm sexy. However, within the last 6 months, we've hardly ...
A. 21 October 2010: Once someone starts choosing pornography over his girlfriend, a living human being, it's definitely crossed the line into an addiction. If you can't get him to see it's a real problem and he needs to get help, if he continues insisting this is ... (read in full...)
I was in a physically abusive relationship and can't seem to get over feeling terrified about being anywhere alone!
Q. i am almost 21 i was dating this abusive guy was in a relationship for about 9 months, he would always hit me, push me down stairs broke bones i could not talk to any one about this he threatend to kill me. i have not talked to him for almost 3 ...
A. 21 October 2010: I'm afraid this is far beyond the realm of internet advice. I highly recommend you seek professional counseling. You've been through a very serious trauma, which is understandably difficult to go through on your own. A counselor can really help you. ... (read in full...)
My husband always watches sex videos how can I make him stop?
Q. hi everyone I have a problem.....I am married. Its been two years. Every thing is cool. Even my sex life too. Here comes the problem my husband always sees sex videos.It makes me feel very bad when he watches sex videos. I want to make him stop se...
A. 20 October 2010: "Men are able to compartmenalise sex, I think, and are able to watch porn but feel differently with their spouse."
Actually they aren't anymore than you are, which is just at little as they can (if that makes any sense). Basically no one can. It h... (read in full...)
Is this just what girls do?
Q. My girlfriend have been having a rough time ever since we bought a house together 2 yrs ago. Recently we have been really trying to reconnect. We had a serious discussion of what we wanted and about making things work. One of the main things ...
A. 20 October 2010: Hmmm OK with that added bit, I can see why you'd feel that way. However, I would try not to make a big deal of it unless you truly think something is going on, as that could spark another fight. Girls tend to be more touchy feely than guys and what ... (read in full...)
Bennefits of Porn
Q. Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
A. 19 October 2010: Cerberus, next time before you blow up in anger and tell me all the studies I've cited, which are all either in peer-reviewed journals or in well-researched books, why not try actually reading these studies you seem convinced are totally wrong? You ... (read in full...)
Is this just what girls do?
Q. My girlfriend have been having a rough time ever since we bought a house together 2 yrs ago. Recently we have been really trying to reconnect. We had a serious discussion of what we wanted and about making things work. One of the main things ...
A. 19 October 2010: Sounds like she's close with her best friend. A movie isn't always a date, girls go with each other to see movies all the time. We hug, kiss on the cheek, sometimes even hold hands and it usually doesn't mean anything at all. To be honest, it sounds ... (read in full...)
How can I be hospitalized for my anorexia (please help me)?
Q. Hi I have anorexia and have been struggling with it for about a year. I was just a low enough weight to be put in hospital, but they didn't because they wanted to try other ways to help me recover. Now I've put on 10kg since then, and I have 4...
A. 19 October 2010: You need to talk to your parents and tell them you need more help. They can get you the help you need. It's good that you recognize that this isn't healthy, that's the first and biggest step in recovery.... (read in full...)
Husband having sex with me while sleeping
Q. I'm a happily married woman but lately I've been encountering problems with my husband.first a roving eye which caused me to have a very low self confidence,then a porn addiction to which I was livid with, which he overcame or so I thought but now ...
A. 19 October 2010: That is legally rape. If you are asleep, you cannot consent. That is why you feel unsafe at night, and no one should be in a relationship where they feel unsafe or even uncomfortable. You need to get out before he takes it further. If you're ... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 13 October 2010: We're not saying there should be no secret solo activity. Well maybe minus the secret part. I don't think you'd find many couples where neither person ever masturbates. We're not saying you shouldn't encourage him to occasionally masturbate if you ... (read in full...)
Bennefits of Porn
Q. Hi: I have read a lot of negative things at forums about the dangers and evil of PORN (OMG) and wish to offer my perspective on Porn. When I got caught up in Porn, it was not because something was missing in my current marriage. I just liked ...
A. 11 October 2010: I wasn't going to touch this one, but...
56% of divorces cite pornography as a major reason for the divorce. That is more than due to cheating. (Paul, 2005)
"After watching only six hours of nonviolent pornography, research subjects were mu... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 15 September 2010: I'm not saying it's not normal, but I am saying making time for sex is really important. I know once kids come along it's REALLY tiring, but sex is the way men bond with their partner. I'm not saying it's wrong, if your sex drive just tapered off, ... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 15 September 2010: Once or twice a month is pretty infrequent (the definition for a sexless marriage is once a month or less)... Is there anything you need/want during sex that you're not getting? Sex is a very important part of a relationship. Do you get your needs ... (read in full...)
Getting him to take care of himself!
Q. Do any of you have any success in getting your husbands to take care of their own "needs" more often than not?...
A. 9 September 2010: Be careful what you wish for... Why not buy a bottle of lube, give him a quick handjob, then you're both happy?
And I love that male anon answer about using her bum and his hands! LOL though sounds like a pretty good idea... You could always pose... (read in full...)
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