| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?
Q. Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...
A. 8 April 2011: Yes of course people always think they're right. What's new about that? But the fact is that this is a reflection of the general consensus of most mental health professionals. Almost every meta analysis (which collects all the studies and runs ... (read in full...)
Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?
Q. Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...
A. 7 April 2011: CharliesDevil, these researchers are extremely respected in the field of psychology and sexual research. I'm not "hiding behind research," I started researching because I saw something happening and found out more about it. I didn't just go to ... (read in full...)
I want to marry her, but her friend is exaggerating horrible secrets from my past.
Q. Basically, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year, and I'm planning to propose to her soon as we are very much in love, but I have some very horrific and soul destroying secrets that I never ever want anyone to know, but a close ...
A. 7 April 2011: The only way around this is to tell your girlfriend the secrets. If she's agreeing to commit to a life with you, she has a right to know about the skeletons in her closet. And if you don't tell her, her friend will and you'll have no way of knowing ... (read in full...)
We aren't technically dating yet but I slept with someone else. Should I feel guilty?
Q. I have been seeing this guy for the past two months, but we are not dating yet. We talk every day and we hang out once or twice a week but we have talked about where the relationship is going and we both know that we will probably start dating in ...
A. 7 April 2011: Well since you're not technically dating, it's not technically cheating. I'd worry more about a guy who dates you for two months without any kind of commitment. It's good he gives a timeframe, but better would be if he wanted to actually commit. ... (read in full...)
We want a baby, but it's not working. I'm scared a doctor won't approve.
Q. I am 16 going on 17 and me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for months. I have been wanting this for a long time now but nothing is happening. I am willing to do anything for this baby. I am scared if i go to my doctors, he will go ...
A. 7 April 2011: There's a reason the doctor won't approve, you're both WAY too young to have a baby. You're not even legally adults yet. Babies cost an enormous amount of money to raise, and that kind of money is hard to get unless you finish school, which would be ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend says my past makes me unclean
Q. I feel really down. I have been with a guy for about 2 years now... He is a sweet guy that cares for me and goes out of this way to get me what I want. The problem is hes 2 years younger.. people say age is just a number and I know that. But I have ...
A. 7 April 2011: This guy sounds completely controlling. It's unfair of him to probe and then use it against you, it's also unfair for him to have expected you to be so pure that you've never dated before him. He needs to get a clue! You are not a puppet, you are a ... (read in full...)
Can you get pregnant from humping with underware on?
Q. can you get pregnant by humping with only the females underwear on? no sex, just that. he didnt cum right on me or anything but he did have a little "pre" cum. idk what thats actually called. ...
A. 7 April 2011: No. Sperm can't travel through clothing. Pre-cum can only contain sperm if he has ejaculated since last urinating. No chance you could be pregnant.... (read in full...)
I'm 26, she's 17, is it wrong to pursue a relationship?
Q. Im a 26 year old guy and iv recently been seeing a 17 year old girl, we have literally everything in common and get on so well. Been out on a few occasions and we both like eachother. Would it be wrong to ever start a relationship??...
A. 7 April 2011: Wrong, no. Fairly inappropriate, yes. She's quite young for you and people would definitely get the wrong idea. But if you both really like each other, it doesn't matter what other people think and I don't think any harm could come of it.... (read in full...)
Is the fake cigarette anything like the real thing?
Q. I just tried one of those fake cigarettes that help you stop smoking but is it anything like the real thing?...
A. 7 April 2011: Fake cigarettes won't be able to deliver the same level of nicotine as smoking, it's designed to be a lower dose. You don't want to start with nicotine if you haven't gotten addicted to cigarettes. Once you get addicted to something your brain is ... (read in full...)
Been cheating on wife with 3 girlfriends and 40 hookers
Q. Hi, I have been married 10 years to my wife who I love but she is very difficult to live with. I don't know if I am a nympho or what, but when she is not around I can masturbate up to 4 times a day. Also, when i have been away for work on many occ...
A. 6 April 2011: You need to come clean and leave your wife and get yourself some help. This isn't normal (or healthy), and you're putting your wife's health at risk by having sex with so many other women. This is totally unfair to your wife and it's unfair to blame ... (read in full...)
I went psycho on him and he changed his phone number
Q. about two months ago i meet this guy i really liked him and still do. i was in a bad relationship before i met him and i was still kind of scared. he asked me to be his girlfriends right away and i said yes. we were talking and everything was ...
A. 6 April 2011: I'm with MishMash on this too. You don't sound changed at all. The only way you can show him you've changed is to stop contacting him. He cut you off because you were acting clingy and to show him how not clingy you are, you're clinging. Since you ... (read in full...)
I want a threesome my wife doesnt, but she's already been in one!
Q. Here's the problem: I want to have a threesome. My wife does not, though she has had them in her past (before me). She also has a far more extensive sexual past than I have. I'd love to add more partners in the future, but I am willing to forgo ...
A. 6 April 2011: This is a pretty depressing view to have. Some women may have a ton of exciting sounding experience when they were younger, but often times it's not the same kind of fun as it is for men. I know from personal experience a lot of my friends ... (read in full...)
He says girls leave him because hes too nice. Is that my cue to walk away?
Q. Hi everyone I am a african american female and I just started talking to a white/Caucasian male he's really nice and sweet but he tells me that girls leave him cause they say he's too nice should that be my cue to walk away now? We've only been ...
A. 6 April 2011: Girls don't run because he's too nice, they run because he's clingy! He told you he loved you after a day? And telling you to be sure you answer the phone? This is a huge red flag that he'll cling like a dryer sheet for the rest of your ... (read in full...)
I cant stop crying over what I did
Q. Im have just turned 15, 5 days after my abortion. I did not want to get rid of my baby, but i did what everyone was telling me was best. The baby daddy already had a baby on the way so he told me that i was allowed to keep it, but it would be ...
A. 6 April 2011: It really sounds like you did the right thing. This guy doesn't sound like he could have been a good father to your child. He sounds like a serial "baby daddy" in that he enjoys the control he can have over young women by getting them pregnant. ... (read in full...)
Sexual encounter btw an 18 yr and 25 yr? legal yes but is it ok?
Q. Thoughts on a recent high school graduate having sex with a 25 yo? Or a college sophomore dating a 26 yo? I know its legal but is it appropriate?...
A. 6 April 2011: It's legal for someone over the age of 18 to have sex with anyone else over the age of 18. So legally an 18 year old could have sex with someone who's 100 (so long as they're mentally capable of consent). As for appropriate, I know this rule is ... (read in full...)
Do temptations make you a cheater even if you don't give into them?
Q. Do temptations make you a cheater even if you don't give into them? I am very in love with my girlfriend and we have been together since the beginning of 2010. A few months prior when we were "dating" I put myself in a very bad situation. We all ...
A. 6 April 2011: We all feel tempted sometimes, the only thing that really matters is how we act on them. It was bad to make the move, but you didn't actually do anything wrong. Thinking about cheating and cheating are two VERY different things. Don't beat yourself ... (read in full...)
Men what is the right number of times to call?
Q. Men how often would you like for a woman, or your partner, to call you in a day or a week where you would not get aggravated when you two don't live in the same house. Thanks...
A. 6 April 2011: It depends on the person. Some people like to be called every day, some like to be called once a week. If you're serious, I'd think once a day is absolute max, it's not unusual for a couple to talk every night to say good night I love you etc... But ... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have sex without a condom
Q. im 15 and my 15 yr. bf finaly got me 2 give him a b.j after 2 mounths of dating and now after 3 mounths he is trying 2 get me 2 give him my vergenity and he said we should not use a condom cuz it feels better w/out 1 then he said he wnts r 1st time ...
A. 6 April 2011: We can't answer that. You might consider breaking up with him if you don't feel respected, like he values you for you, if you feel pressured into doing things that make you uncomfortable. You shouldn't necessarily break up with him just at the ... (read in full...)
Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?
Q. Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...
A. 6 April 2011: Cerberus, I was going to send you a PM telling you to try to get ahold of yourself and stop attacking me for my opinion that I think depictions of women as cumbuckets are damaging to women, I think I'll say it here since it's relevant to several ... (read in full...)
Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?
Q. Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...
A. 6 April 2011: Sorry, but this idea of it being fantasy is very VERY troublesome. Porn isn't fantasy. Fantasy implies that it is something you created in your head, something that requires some amount of creativity. I cannot think of anything more opposite of ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I have completely opposing views on porn. Is this a possible deal breaker?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend, who's 25, for about four months and all had been going great; he's kind, caring, generous and always puts me first. However, I noticed on his internet browser history a couple of week...
A. 6 April 2011: You called me ignorant, that's a personal attack. You also said anyone who is anti-porn is crazy and since I am anti-porn... And implied my article was "rubbish." Yes I am "biased." I haven't been able to find any good from porn other than most ... (read in full...)
Why is Hardcore Porn so popular and why do people defend it so fiercely?
Q. Why do men get off on watching women being so obviously humiliated and abused in hardcore porn? For whatever reason the women are made to look as if they are being violated and taken violently for pleasure purposes of those watching.... I just re...
A. 6 April 2011: I already answered this on this question: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/boyfriend-and-i-have-completely-opposing-views-on.html But as for there being a demand for violent porn where women get humiliated and degraded? It's because that's what... (read in full...)
Is it right to bring a baby into the world when the father is a herion addict?
Q. Hi, I've just found out I'm pregnant with my first baby The baby wasn't planned but my husband and I have been married for two years and I have openly wanted kids.... anyway... there's one small problem... my husband is a heroin addict... it all...
A. 6 April 2011: This is really not something we can answer for you online. This is a huge life-changing decision. You need to talk it over with your husband and with your friends to find what's best for you and your family. Find out your options, what's realistic ... (read in full...)
My boyfriends wants to have sex with another girl!!!
Q. My boyfriend, well hes a good guy over all but he has said and done some stupid s***, first of all he does say Im pretty and he loves me and he takes me out but then... he has this friend that he told me with these exact words "I want to f*** her, ...
A. 5 April 2011: Wow. That's ridiculous. This guy does not respect you at all. No guy who actually cared about you would say he wants to f*ck someone right in front of you (or at all). He also wouldn't have strippers to his house (most women would find strippers at ... (read in full...)
Crazy dream of being pregnant! What does this mean?
Q. I had this really in-depth dream last night that I was pregnant. Everything felt soo real it was scary and I cant stop thinking about it. A few times throughout the dream I remember putting my hands on my belly and feeling the movement of the baby ...
A. 5 April 2011: It means you ate something weird or you heard a crying baby while falling asleep or saw someone pregnant in a movie or thought about pregnancy as you were falling asleep. Dreams honestly don't mean anything except what you were thinking about ... (read in full...)
Overly long labia???
Q. okay im 14 and my labia is really long and i absolutly hate it! i cant bare to even look at it.. i swear its not normal for them to be this long? and im too scared to ever show it to anyone which will affect my sex life when im older.. someone ...
A. 5 April 2011: Unless they are so long they get in the way of walking normally they are normal. It's extremely common for the labia minora (the inner ones) to be much larger than the outer ones. It's extremely common for them to be different lengths, to have ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I have completely opposing views on porn. Is this a possible deal breaker?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend, who's 25, for about four months and all had been going great; he's kind, caring, generous and always puts me first. However, I noticed on his internet browser history a couple of week...
A. 5 April 2011: I'm ignorant on this? I'm a published author on the subject. And if you're going to resort to unnecessary personal attacks, I forgot to cite that quote, it was you Cerberus. You also went on a rant awhile back about how emotionally worthless women ... (read in full...)
Pregnant, BF doesn't want anything to do with the baby, and this might be my only chance to conceive because of a family history of medical problems...
Q. so im 19 years old and just recently broke up with my boyfriend after being with him for 2 years, we were madly in love aand i still care so deeply about him, but i broke up with him because all we ever did was fight and argue about everything. i...
A. 5 April 2011: You should talk to a doctor to find out what your options are. For instance, was this really a complete "miracle" or will you be able to conceive again? If the latter, it might be a good idea to talk to your doctor about other options, such as ... (read in full...)
What are your views on Cuddle Buddies? (Kiss, snuggle, cuddle, make out, no sex, no emotional feelings). Does it work?
Q. I want to know what your views are on cuddle buddies. Cuddle buddy is similar with friends with benefits but without the sex. Cuddle buddies do kiss, snuggle, cuddle, make out and many more. However, the feeling of love is just a detachment. Th...
A. 5 April 2011: I've had one work. It only worked because neither of us had any romantic feelings whatsoever. We both found the other attractive, but both found the idea of dating each other fairly repulsive. The refraining from sex helped keep emotions out of it, ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I have completely opposing views on porn. Is this a possible deal breaker?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend, who's 25, for about four months and all had been going great; he's kind, caring, generous and always puts me first. However, I noticed on his internet browser history a couple of week...
A. 5 April 2011: Also to add, the "all men do it" is a form of compartmentalization. It means maybe he kind of thinks it's bad, but by claiming it's no longer his personal choice but a "mob mentality" thing forcing him to do it, it alleviates his personal ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend and I have completely opposing views on porn. Is this a possible deal breaker?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm 24 and I've been with my boyfriend, who's 25, for about four months and all had been going great; he's kind, caring, generous and always puts me first. However, I noticed on his internet browser history a couple of week...
A. 5 April 2011: I agree with you fully. The vast majority of female slaves are in the sex industry (either as prostitutes or in porn). There is no way of knowing if the women are there by choice or not. And it definitely does objectify women, many men on here ... (read in full...)
So where is the line drawn with girlfriends and male friends?
Q. So where is the line drawn with girlfriends and male friends? my girlfriend occationaly texts guys she met on vacation. Shes also facebook friends with them and when they wished her happy birthday they used pets names for each other. Also a bunch ...
A. 5 April 2011: Only if she's expressed interest in them before or has been sexual with them. Otherwise I think it sounds like she's just being friendly. I mean it's close to the line, but no I don't think it's been crossed.... (read in full...)
Husband cant satisfy me because of premature ejaculation.... perhaps I need to have my physical needs met elsewhere?
Q. I love my husband very much. We did not have a lot of sex before we married, so it wasn't until after our wedding that I confirmed that he has premature ejaculation. This has effected every single time we have had sex for the past two years, without ...
A. 5 April 2011: Have you tried getting satisfaction from him in other ways? Like say, oral sex? It's really difficult for guys to last a long time with penetrative sex. You can't just rely on penetration all the time, even men without premature ejaculation problems ... (read in full...)
How do I know if my hymen was broken?
Q. dear cupid, soo, last night, things got a little hott and heavy between me and my boyfriend, and he wound up fingering me. it wasn't the first time he had done that, nor the first time that i had been fingered, but...this time felt kind of dif...
A. 5 April 2011: He could have broken your hymen, but rough fingering can also damage the vaginal tissue (with or without fingernails) and make you bleed a little, which I think is more likely since I'm pretty sure he could have felt the hymen break with his ... (read in full...)
Is there any way our fooling around could have caused pregnancy?
Q. I'm extremely scared, probably freaking out a little too much. But I need help. My boyfriend and I were in his car fooling around this past weekend. Clothes were on. By accident I put my hands on the inside of just the top of his jeans and it felt ...
A. 5 April 2011: No. Sperm cannot survive once they are dry. And since he didn't ejaculate, it was definitely precum, which can only contain sperm is he has ejaculated since last urinating, and the amount it would contain would be minuscule.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend sleeps at his ex's house when he goes to visit his son!
Q. my boyfriend still stays the night at his ex wifes house when he goes to visit his son. i have been told by a nother girl that he still has sex with his ex wife when he goes to visit, and that they dont sleep separately. of course i asked him and he ...
A. 5 April 2011: Your sister is right, this is totally inappropriate. It sounds like he might be sleeping with her. Sleeping at his ex's house overnight is absolutely not OK, especially if he's still in love with her. Since he doesn't even see the problem, since you ... (read in full...)
B/f wants to have sex without a condom
Q. im 15 and my 15 yr. bf finaly got me 2 give him a b.j after 2 mounths of dating and now after 3 mounths he is trying 2 get me 2 give him my vergenity and he said we should not use a condom cuz it feels better w/out 1 then he said he wnts r 1st time ...
A. 5 April 2011: Do NOT have sex without a condom. It won't make that much better for you, but you're the one who will have to live with the consequences such as pregnancy and STDs. Absolutely do not have sex without a condom. And don't let him pressure you into it. ... (read in full...)
Co-worker's suspicious bathroom behavior makes me wonder if she has an eating disorder?
Q. This really skinny girl I work with was in the stall next to me today in the ladies room. She spoke to some coworkers and then they all left. I was being very quiet so no one knew I was in there. Her feet were facing the toilet and she was standing ...
A. 5 April 2011: Maybe, but there's really nothing you can do to help her.... (read in full...)
Husband hates me wearing a bra...
Q. I am a 31 year old woman and a newlywed school teacher. My husband teaches at the same school. My situation is that my husband does not like me to wear a bra. At nights and on weekends, he does not want to see me in a bra. During the entire ...
A. 4 April 2011: Well I think the question is whether you want to wear a bra or not. I think a lot of guys like the way women look without a bra because it leaves less to the imagination. But you shouldn't have to be uncomfortable or worried just to be his eye ... (read in full...)
Do you think he's been cheating?
Q. Hi and thanks My bf and I have been together about 3 years. Started off wonderful as most relationships do. He was so charming, expressive, and he would talk, and listen to me for hours. I fell hard and fast within 6 weeks we were living together....
A. 4 April 2011: Whether or not he's actually been cheating, this guy is a complete control freak. He's out to play mind games with you and control every aspect of your life. He has no right to DEMAND access to your passwords. I'd say messing with your facebook like ... (read in full...)
Stretch marks on my breasts...how do I get rid of them??
Q. Hi, So recently I gained a bit of weight and my bra went up a cup size. So now I have small stretch marks at the top of them. Does anyone know of something that works for sure to get rid of them???...
A. 4 April 2011: Unfortunately most people get stretch marks and unfortunately there's really nothing you can do about them. Like the previous poster said, they fade to a very light color usually, so they aren't noticeable. Everyone gets them, and a lot of guys get ... (read in full...)
I want to see the prostitute again.
Q. I lost my virginity to a prostitution and feels like going to it again. Is it safe? But I feel guilty too. Please help me....
A. 3 April 2011: No it's not safe, she might have a disease since I'm sure some of her clients insist on not using condoms. Also, many of the prostitutes in your country are trafficked women, meaning they were kidnapped (usually while young) and forced into sexual ... (read in full...)
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