A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:why do guys do this or is it just my guy?So im in a LDR and have been for 3 years, I Love him and we have met in real (incase anyone thinks we havent) and we get along much much better in real but anyways...Hes not much of a sentimental guy...I tell him sweet things all the time, tell him he looks good when my first genuine thought is wow someone looks hot or watever right now, I tell him how much he means to me and bla bla bla...I like to write him letters (hand written) and send them to him and sometimes when i see something when im out and know he'll like it i often buy it (as long as its not real expensive) and send it to him (but just so u know ive only ever twice send something that wasnt birthday or christmas and they were really cheaps things on those 2 occassions) I enjoy his company and I love to talk so obviously I talk alot to him.But thing that gets me is he doesnt do any of that for me...yeah i get bday and christmas and i dont actually care that he doesnt pick something up and sends it to me but he thinks letters are stupid because theres this thing im using right now called technology so why write a letter and i dont remember the last time he called me beautiful because he wanted to...he never says anything sentimental to me ever i always have to go fishing for it and blatently ask him, he doesnt do it off his own accord which i want him to and feel bad for trying to make him but its something i want to hear. He always says in his house no-one really specifically shows love it was always implied but my house hold was the same so i dont see why im so mushy and sentimental and romantic and hes just not.last night him and his friend were watching a movie and he went ooo girl fight and i was like do u like girl fights and long story cut short he was like yeah, it happens in college all the time and its awesome to watch, and was like its only cuz we watch in the hope clothing ends up gettin ripped especially tops and skirts and get to see stuff ur not meant to and then said but truly we hope the fight kinda stops and instead they like start making out and u know....well that kinda got to me and after a while i was like ok well i dont like the fact that u enjoy that and thats what u think (and he knows im an insecure person so really knowing that made me feel like shit and like im not enough for him, which isnt true and is over-reacting but im working on that) and he got mad at me and was like omg it was a joke but it was said in all seriousness and then he said i never get to see any anyway cuz their already finished by the time i get there so i mean why say it in the first place if it was a lie.and the other thing i dont get is i tell him my day, like if anything happened in work i tell him, if i hang out with friends i tell him, i even tell him some of the funny convos and well i tell him everything. He doesnt, if i ask how his day was and what he did all i get is it was boring and i went to work/college or sometimes its oh i did nothing. He never tells me when hes with friends or well he just doesnt tell me anything and i dont know why...i tell him everything and he tells me nothing. Only time things come out is when i say something and he actually gets into the convo and was like oh that like yesterday when alex did....and in my head im like oh so u did do something yesterday u were with alex. Why do guys do that?? Or am i am the girl who found a guy that does this?Btw...he does love me, believe me he does if he didnt he would have left me a long time ago so I know its not cuz he wants another girl or is fooling around cuz i know he isnt.
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female
reader, dreamingbella  +, writes (8 April 2011):
 Well honestly i don't know about the other guys out there but my fiance is not like that. He's completely different from yours. The first thing he asks everyday we talk online is how my day was, then i tell him my day and in return i ask his, he starts talking about his day, like what he did in details, what he eats for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Then tell me what's the plan for tomorrow. In our relationship, i'm the quiet person who only tells things when being asked, he's the one starts the conversation. But as he said, i've been improving. I talk more now. He tells me to drive safe to work, drink more water. He prefers email and short text but did send me a birthday card with a long message in it. So i could say he does a lot of effort in our relationship but seemingly i'm much less. I'm more than a "take" person, he's the "give" person. But i'm trying to get the balance by paying more attention and opening my heart wider. Maybe your bf's just him, not quite much of a caring person or not express himself. That'd be annoying if you do and expect much in return but get nothing. You should talk to him about his problem, if he loves you he will try to improve himself. Just like my case, me man asked me to show more and i'd tried and will always try.So good luck!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): i'm like that and i don't really see the problem. I don't give much attention to small things that happened during my day, and if i get bored thinking of it, then i think you'll get bored listening to it.I like to be practical, why imitate romance taught on tv, why not just be ourself and express our love in our own ways. If its over-expressed or under-expressed, thats your problem, leave or try hard to make me change, who knows maybe i'll change.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 It's hard to say from a description online. I agree it sounds a bit disrespectful to say he liked to hang around in the hopes they'll rip their clothes off. It's also bad that you're doing all the work in this relationship. If he doesn't put in some effort it means he doesn't care that much about keeping the relationship going. You have to decide if he's worth all the work and effort of being in a LDR relationship. If you two will be able to be together soon, then maybe it's worth it. You just have to decide. If you've talked to him about how you feel and you're still feeling unappreciated, it may be time to move on.
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