| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 22 July 2011: "And to the women who look down upon men visiting prostitutes (like a couple of women in this topic) you clearly have zero empathy for what its like for men."
And you clearly have zero empathy for what it's like being a prostituted woman treated ... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 15 July 2011: I'm going to go ahead and give you the same little speech I give on all questions about prostitution on this site:
Before you have sex with a prostitute you should know what life for a prostituted woman is like. The vast majority of prostitu... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 30 April 2011: Wow I would never ever ever ask a guy to go down on me during my period. Out of curiosity I've tasted that, and it's pretty vile. I would have sex (being on my period makes me feel constantly half turned on) but I would never request oral sex. It's ... (read in full...)
I told b/f I hate him watching porn but he says its normal
Q. my boyfriend watches porn and i am not happy about it. i think he watches far to much even though he has me. i am willing to experiment, but he chooses these porno girls. i have told him i hate it but he says it fine and natural. is it? i am also ...
A. 29 April 2011: This sounds like the beginnings of an addiction. The moment it starts to interfere with your sex life, even the most hardcore of porn defenders will likely agree the porn has got to go. He should not prefer to "test" his fantasies with porn over ... (read in full...)
I love my therapist and she's helped me so much, but my wife is jealous
Q. Hi. Hope I can clarify my feeling. I have been in therapy with a lovely women therapist who I had almost immediate connection. I was very vulnerable and so taken by her honesty and style and her insights. My marriage has always been pretty ...
A. 28 April 2011: This is actually a very common thing. People routinely fall in love with their therapists because they open up to them so much and sharing secrets like that creates an emotional bond. I'm sure she deals with it all the time. It's actually extr... (read in full...)
I wanted to become celibate, but my boyfriend threatened to leave me
Q. I wanted to become celibate but my boyfriend threatened to leave me..... clearly he cannot respect my decision... What do i do? But he claims he loves me so much....
A. 28 April 2011: Sexual intimacy is a big part of a relationship. It's not a matter of respecting your decision, it's a matter of knowing what he wants out of a relationship. Expecting someone to spend the entire rest of his life sans sex is a huge huge huge deal... (read in full...)
Its been 3 months since we broke up, can I wish him a happy birthday?
Q. Split up with my fella after 7 months - he said he thought the world of me but needed to be alone, wanted space, couldnt handle our relationship as he wasn't over his ex - they havn't got back together and won't be, i agreed to give him space, it's ...
A. 27 April 2011: I wouldn't text him. He wanted space and if he is ever going to give you another chance, he needs to know you'll fully respect that space. He'll know immediately that you don't really care so much that it's his birthday, you just want an excuse to ... (read in full...)
Text messages on girlfriend's phone have me upset!
Q. ok so i wanna know if im over reacting i picked up my girlfriends phone last week and saw a couple of messages.. from guys but i'm not sure if they are ex boyfriends of hers or not but what got to me the most was they were sending kisses and she ...
A. 27 April 2011: It's OK to keep an eye on it, but I wouldn't read too much into it. Sending hugs and kisses at the end of a text is very normal, especially if they signed it that way it can just be polite/friendly to reciprocate.... (read in full...)
Birth control without my parents!
Q. I am 17 and i want to get on birthcontrol but i dont want my parents to know because i dont what them to think im having sex everytime im alone with my boyfriend. So how do i go about getting birthcontrol without my parents???...
A. 27 April 2011: Try any women's clinic in your area. However, keep in mind that in some states women under 18 need a parent's permission, so be sure to check online or call ahead. In all honesty I'd check a local clinic before Planned Parenthood, they're generally ... (read in full...)
Birth control without my parents!
Q. I am 17 and i want to get on birthcontrol but i dont want my parents to know because i dont what them to think im having sex everytime im alone with my boyfriend. So how do i go about getting birthcontrol without my parents???...
A. 27 April 2011: Try any women's clinic in your area. However, keep in mind that in some states women under 18 need a parent's permission, so be sure to check online or call ahead. In all honesty I'd check a local clinic before Planned Parenthood, they're generally ... (read in full...)
Oral Sex Can Be A Sharing Experience - Swallowing IS Equal...
Q. I am in my early fifties and my man is as well. We've only recently become intimate and I was not involved with anyone for a few years prior. So, I had a long time to think about sexuality and what I would do when back into it. My thoughts are tha...
A. 26 April 2011: I don't think this is an issue of equality at all, many, even most, women just severely dislike or hate having that in their mouths and they shouldn't be forced to do that. It's one thing to not like BJs, and unless she has a history of abuse, I ... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 26 April 2011: The men I talked to who had better sex lives weren't addicts, they were typical in their usage. All in relationships or married. I've rarely spoken with addicts, I read through interviews and studies other people did as well as books and just ... (read in full...)
Discovered a girl I liked is a sociopath. What do I do now?
Q. I know today people throw around these terms too much like narcissist, sociopath, borderline, et cetera, but....I have come to believe strongly that a girl I have liked for a very long time is likely a sociopath. I have known her a while. She's v...
A. 26 April 2011: She sounds manipulative and selfish and not like someone you want to get involved with. Just cut her out of your life. There is no reason to stick with someone who you know is out to manipulate you.... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 26 April 2011: A fresh perspective doesn't help most of the time with this issue. Most of the women bothered by this do understand the reason for its use and it doesn't make it better. Most people who come here either don't update or just keep posting that it ... (read in full...)
I always bleed after anal sex
Q. I am a gay male and I have anal sex with my boyfiend and with anal toys. The problem is that if I go to long with out anal sex like maybe 2 days my butt get real tight and then I have anal sex and after the anal sex my anus bleeds a little bit. Is ...
A. 26 April 2011: Definitely use a lot of lube, it will certainly help. Basically if you think you have enough lube put more on. Make sure to read up on safety, you can do permanent damage to the muscles up there if you're not careful.... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 26 April 2011: The problem with telling all women who hate porn to dump the guy they're with and find a guy who uses porn is that there are going to be a lot of single people. Around 70% of men use it occasionally, and between 55-60% of women hate the idea of porn ... (read in full...)
Why would my doctor say I have a liver problem, but NOT to worry about it!?
Q. I read that ALL liver problems serious? Or are there some that aren't as much of a worry... I'm just really curious as my doctor said to me 'you do have a liver problem, but it's nothing worry about'? Can he be right, or should i be concerned?...
A. 24 April 2011: We really can't dispense medical advice on here, and it's very unwise to trust medical advice from the internet. There certainly can be some less serious liver problems. I'm sure your doctor knows what he or she is talking about, but you can always ... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 23 April 2011: Also to respond to the poster below who cited all the incredible differences between men and women, men and women aren't actually wired all the differently. For instance, libido is almost entirely a function of how easily a person can orgasm. If ... (read in full...)
Are men aware of what porn does to their sex drive?
Q. With all this so easy to reach pornstuff these days and especially men of all age groups spending lots of time on pornsites, I wonder what happens to their sex drive and joy of having sex with there partners. It makes me sad to read from so many ...
A. 23 April 2011: Just because it's not the same, by definition a substitute is good enough that you no longer need what it is substituting. Your punching bag connection further shows my point. By punching the punching bag, punching a real person loses a lot of its ... (read in full...)
What do you think this dream could mean?
Q. What does this dream mean? Ok so the basics...Ive been in a LDR for 3 years - we did get along perfectly fine, bf developed depression out of nowhere and then because of that he dumped me 2 weeks ago. Said he no longer wants love. I still l...
A. 23 April 2011: Dreams don't mean anything. It's simply your subconscious going crazy with whatever you were thinking about right as you fell asleep (it's not possible to remember what you were thinking about right as you drifted off). Don't read too much into it.... (read in full...)
How loose is too loose?
Q. me and my girlfriend have had sex quite a few times and im afraid that she is getting really loose. what should i do. how loose is too loose?...
A. 23 April 2011: The tightness of a woman's vagina really only changes after she's had a baby. You could ask her to do some kegel exercises to try to tighten up. Sex doesn't "loosen" a vagina. It will stay the same no matter how many times she has sex. It's more ... (read in full...)
Is my guy's other mobile phone really being used innocently?
Q. Hi, my partner has recently bought two new mobile phones, a new one to replace the one he had just bought and the other one to put in his car, he says it doesant have a sim in it, but it fits his charger which is fitted into his car, so if the phone ...
A. 23 April 2011: No, phones don't usually even work like that. You have to activate the phone to the plan for it to work and you'd have to do that each time it switches, plus it would take way more time to put the sim card in the phone than to put the phone in his ... (read in full...)
Women: How common is it for them to have a 3some?
Q. Ive seen a lot of questions on this site that relate to threesomes. I have never experienced this and am curious, mainly in respect to woman's participation in this: I know it's not reality per se, however a lot of porn films show women having sex...
A. 23 April 2011: 1) How common is it for a woman to have had a threesome with either two men or another woman and their partner.
It's not that common outside of porn. Don't let porn warp your sense of normal behavior. Often when a couple tries this it destroys the ... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 23 April 2011: After your response I think this changes things. Daily use is really over the top and I can't believe some of the responses here. If it's gotten to the point where he's acting out what he's seen on you, then he needs to get help. You are not his ... (read in full...)
Does my cooking class buddy really like me? Or was he just making conversation?
Q. This is long... sorry about that! Last semester there was this guy in my cooking class (let's call him "X"), who I sometimes would talk to. A few days after he broke up with his girlfriend we were both assigned to clean the same kitchen area. We...
A. 22 April 2011: It sounds like maybe, but he also may be on the rebound. There's no harm in getting to know him better though. The worst outcome is he's just not interested and you move on. But if he does like you (and it sounds like he might) getting to know him ... (read in full...)
Is it okay to ask my teacher a personal problem of mine?
Q. so i really feel close to my teacher, like i can really trust him.i told him i needed to speak with him about something. we agreed on it. he still doesn't know what it is, its a personal matter and its really bugging me, is it a good idea to speak ...
A. 22 April 2011: OK just so long as it's nothing illegal (sexual abuse, abuse of any kind, sex life, etc...) then there's nothing to worry about. If he's OK with it, go for it.... (read in full...)
Is it okay to ask my teacher a personal problem of mine?
Q. so i really feel close to my teacher, like i can really trust him.i told him i needed to speak with him about something. we agreed on it. he still doesn't know what it is, its a personal matter and its really bugging me, is it a good idea to speak ...
A. 22 April 2011: Not usually a good idea. If he thinks a crime has been committed or you're in any kind of dangerous or bad situation, he is required by law to report it. It's not a good idea to talk to teachers about personal problems, it's never as private as you ... (read in full...)
Was I wrong in asking my bf to stop while we were close to having sex?
Q. I have a problem. im 14 and in year 10. my boyfriends 15 and in year 11. we hang out alot and recently i have been going to his house more like in his room.My mum is out of town on a business trip in china and his mum and dad are on their 7th ...
A. 22 April 2011: No your boyfriend was being a pushy jerk. You did the right thing (sex at your age is illegal, and for a reason). He doesn't sound like a respectful boyfriend, when you tried to stop him the first time he needs to listen immediately, not force you ... (read in full...)
Should I consider having anal sex?
Q. in the last year i have had twins. i love them to pieces, but being a single mother is hard. in the last 2 weeks i have had sex with 2 people. now, for the 1st time un my life, i wasnt tight downstairs. they litterally just slid it up and there was ...
A. 22 April 2011: I wonder where the idea to suddenly try anal came from? Anal can be extremely painful (some women like it, others hate it) and can embarrassing "side-effects" due to the nature of the area (smells and fluids) so you shouldn't try it with someone you ... (read in full...)
G/f gives me bj's just to make me happy
Q. Hello, i have half a problem. Basically my girlfriend didn't give bj's much because she didnt like them. I wanted to boost this number so i read tips on how to make your girlfriend feel more good about giving bj's, and not pressuring her and stuff. ...
A. 21 April 2011: It's not good for her to do something if she really doesn't like it. Occasionally sure, but if she does it a lot and dislikes it, she'll start to resent sex/you and you don't want that. Generally women like BJs a lot more if the guy doesn't finish ... (read in full...)
Lost virginity equals pain. Help!
Q. I recently lost my virginity and I'm sore as hell and bleeding. What would be the best products to use for feminine hygiene until the soreness goes down?...
A. 21 April 2011: YouWish has some great ideas. I want to add, for next time work on getting aroused more and get yourself some lube so it doesn't hurt so much. If you're still sore more than a few hours later, it probably means you weren't turned on enough. If you ... (read in full...)
Ever since she lost her virginity, she has become less interested in sexual activity!
Q. my girlfriend and i have dated for over 2 years now, and in the begginning it was awesome we couldn't keep our hands off each other. the problem is she was "virgin". i enjoyed the stuff we did instead , anal is awesome. but ever since she lost her ...
A. 20 April 2011: Sorry I didn't see your follow-up before posting. First things first get a GOOD lube. Get her close to orgasm before you even attempt penetration again. That way you know she's aroused. set the mood so it's relaxed. Dim lights so she doesn't feel on ... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 20 April 2011: I second Moon River. Most women would find it repulsive in a man to know he visited a prostitute. So if you plan on dating ever again in the future, it would be a good idea to not visit them. Further, you never know under what circumstances that ... (read in full...)
Ever since she lost her virginity, she has become less interested in sexual activity!
Q. my girlfriend and i have dated for over 2 years now, and in the begginning it was awesome we couldn't keep our hands off each other. the problem is she was "virgin". i enjoyed the stuff we did instead , anal is awesome. but ever since she lost her ...
A. 20 April 2011: YouWish is right on. Losing your virginity can be extremely painful. In her mind it's basically this thing that really hurts and gives her nothing in return. Have you tried asking her what's wrong? In most women sex drive is directly proportional to ... (read in full...)
Questions about sex and virginity......
Q. is it possible to become a virgin again after losing it? my vargina gets too wet when I am romancing with my man, is it normal?...
A. 20 April 2011: Wetness is a good thing and is unrelated to virginity. If you are turned on you will get wet regardless of whether or not you are a virgin. It provides lubrication and is a signal that you are aroused.
And no, you can't be revirginized since vi... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend is shooting blanks
Q. Hey guys I need a little help... Me and my boyfriend have been trying for a baby for 3 months now and wev still not got pregnant Im 21 and already have 2 kids from a previous relationship and my boyfriends 30 and doesnt have any kids Iv been pr...
A. 20 April 2011: Humans just aren't that fertile in general. Someone once calculated and the odds of any one time creating a baby is around 1-2%. There is a reason they say you have to have been trying for 12 months before they will do fertility testing. He ... (read in full...)
I discovered my husband watches porn...I am threatening divorce
Q. Hi, I have been reading various questions and answers recently and have a question of my own to ask you all: About 5 years ago I discovered husband had been watching porn, I came across this quite innocently while looking through our music librar...
A. 20 April 2011: If you're going back and forth, him lying, you threatening, all you're doing is creating resentment. It's not solving anything. He's being a lying jerk, and you're alienating him (by making him feel trapped). You're both going about this all wrong. ... (read in full...)
My wife had a promiscuous past before we married...and now she is frigid, and it's driving me crazy!! What to do??
Q. This is my problem...my wife has a "colorful" past. I never asked or pretended to be interested in knowing. But she came up to me and told me. I felt somewhat "let down" but never I repeat never held it against her or treated her differently. I ...
A. 19 April 2011: I agree with Dirtball and Chigirl. I'm sorry you feel upset that she won't grit her teeth and just do it for you. But the purpose of having a wife isn't to be your sexual plaything, she is your partner. You have to engage in things together. Sex ... (read in full...)
Am I being too clingy?
Q. so i met this girl a few times.. at a party and at a bar.. little chit chats here and there. nothing special. one night i saw her again at a bar so i went up to her being nice and just started a chat. then i sat down and she came up and started ...
A. 18 April 2011: I think ChiGirl is right, this girl sounds like she just wanted a one night stand. It's not about clingy or not clingy, she just doesn't sound like she would want to be attached to anyone right now since she's leaving so soon.... (read in full...)
Once a week is all I get. It's not enough. Help!
Q. help, i love my boyfriend by lately only seeing him twice a week and its only for about 2 hours each time. he has a baby with someone else and i understand he has her weekends so i dont see him, and then works all week and then gym after work so is ...
A. 18 April 2011: If he wanted to see you he would make time for you. Putting the baby first, sure. But working out at the gym? Refusing to go out with you? This guy doesn't take you very seriously as a girlfriend. You should find someone else who will. I know it's ... (read in full...)
I don't want to go out to have drinks/dinner alone on my birthday and end up looking like a total loser to everyone else!
Q. Hello all.. I'll be turning 22 in a few days and I'm not sure what to do. I've been in a pretty low place in my life lately. I don't socialize at all, I barely talk to anyone except for my bf who lives 3hrs away. I was hoping to be able to spend...
A. 18 April 2011: You'll only look like a loser if you think you're a loser. I end up eating out alone all the time so I notice others who are alone. Some of them look embarrassed and sad, so I feel embarrassed and sad for them. Some of them look comfortable and ... (read in full...)
Am I relating to my teacher appropriately or am I being too personal?
Q. Hey guys, I have a question regarding my teacher. No I'm not going to go on about the fact that I fancy him, cause yeah I do, but that's part of life. I'd never try anything. Anyway, I often do duty out in the playground and every Tuesday and...
A. 18 April 2011: No it sounds appropriate. I think he's just trying to be sure he doesn't cross any lines. He also may have picked up on the fact that you like him and is trying to be polite but keep his distance. Either way, you don't sound like you're doing ... (read in full...)
I want a child now. He's asked me to wait. Do you think he does not love me enough?
Q. Hello dear cupid. I have sitution here with my boyfriend. We're not married but we live together for 4 years. He told me he want to marry me one day and have kids. He is 31 years old and I'm 23. I want to have kids now. I mean I love him.I do ever...
A. 18 April 2011: This doesn't sound at all like a problem with not loving you enough or loving someone else. Everyone has their own timeframe for settling down or not settling down. You need to sit down and have a real talk about this. Neither of you is right or ... (read in full...)
I lied about NOT being virgin to GF. Should I tell her the truth?
Q. Okay so im deeply in love with this girl for 6months (me 19, she 21) Just in early march we came to the subject of our 'first time' agewise. I felt insecure and said 18, and she said 20. Cool thought that was that... Then late march she asked how ...
A. 18 April 2011: Well the good news is the lie went in the opposite direction of the way that usually causes problems. This doesn't sound like something you can live with in terms of guilt, so you should tell her. Honesty is the best policy most of the time. It's ... (read in full...)
Are men aware of what porn does to their sex drive?
Q. With all this so easy to reach pornstuff these days and especially men of all age groups spending lots of time on pornsites, I wonder what happens to their sex drive and joy of having sex with there partners. It makes me sad to read from so many ...
A. 13 April 2011: If porn is lowering women's "market value" by being a substitute for women and sex, that equates porn with real sex. It's basically an admission that porn is cheating. Especially since you place it in a completely different category from just ... (read in full...)
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