A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 26 and quite shy. I don't really have any friends where I live and go on holidays on my own(whick i enjoy). I've not had a boyfriend since I was at school and I'm still a virgin. I would quite like a boyfriend, is online dating good?
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on holiday, shy, still a virgin Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2011): I think online dating is risky. Anyone can lie about themselves and make it very convincing, you could be talking to sex offenders or criminals and NEVER know it. In person you have a better chance of meeting someone legit. Plus online dating remember they might be with 10 other people not just you.
I suggest getting out there. Join a class like yoga, painting, kick boxing, anything where there are other people. You dont have to be good at whatever you join, it's a class so just about everyone there didnt know what they were doing when they got started.
I have a rule, Friends First Last
In other words just focus on making a friend or two and from there you might be able to develop a great relationship and once you've gotten to know them good you'll know if you could stand them as your partner, and if not then at least you wont be severing a perfectly good friendship! :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 April 2011): Online dating only works for people in very populated areas and people looking for casual sex sadly.Plentyoffish is free and for the older 30s+ dating crowd.Okcupid is free and for the 20-35 dating crowd.Avoid pay sites as both members need to be paying members to send o receive messages in most cases.I've been trying different sites for 6 years now and I've come across the same problems over and over. Just like in real life girls expect guys to do it all for them but when it comes to online dating girls must be proactive, because guys are not telepathic. I found many sites leave up people and their photos to attract new people, then there's the fraudsters who steal other peoples profile pics and make another fake profile on the same site under a different name that you have to watch out for.But the biggest problem comes with men who message women and women who just don't respond. If a guy messages you look at his profile and tell him if your interested or not, and if he hounds you block him. Most guys give up writting personal messages after a month or two of sending messages and getting no replys, after which they resort to the mass copy and paste method. Girls in turn get swamped with mail while guys inboxes remain empty.Believe me 6 years of seeing your inbox empty won't do you any good, rather go to a bar or a night club and meet people there because atleast there people will talk with you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2011): Thanks for the help :)
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A
male
reader, honestman  +, writes (1 April 2011):
I have not dated online.I do have visited dating sites. They seem OK. Here is the catch: At least where I live, there are around 20000 woman looking for men [on a dating site], and round 1000 men looking for women. Therefore, if you are a woman, you are competing against 20000 other women. Most of the girls girls look creepy. And the same thing applies to the guys. Most guys look like total jerks, and with one thing in mind. I would suggest you to go outside. Go different parties of different friend groups. Go to places you like and where male and female gather [a bookstore, library,]. Go to places where you will find guys of the kind that you would like. If you want an alcoholic man, just go to a bad reputation bar with a shirt showing your breasts partially. You'll get a date quickly.
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A
male
reader, $izZle  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 I'm 28 and still very shy coz of which I don't have a girlfriend and I never had 1 and I know how you feel eh! its not very easy to keep going on I know .... but I would say don't worry about being a virgin :S may be I'm wrong but what I'm trying to say is rather loose it with Mr. right than with Mr. somebody just coz you don't wanna remain a virgin. em! btw I've never been on a date! never been kissed blah! and yes I want all that too .... but I'm just not finding it :( I've tried online dating but ive not been successful at scoring zZz hopefully soon it will bring me better luck ... xD anyways there is no harm in trying out online dating but be a little careful and don't get too involved coz its ONLINE .... its easy to get involved online fast and then its hard to let go, had some bad experiences myself so don't loose heart if you don't hit the goal on the 1st kickThere are always more dawgs! on the street XD
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (1 April 2011):
 I know some people who've had great experiences (a relative of mine married someone he met through eHarmony) and some who've had awful experiences where they pay a lot of money and only find creeps. It's definitely worth a try if you're careful about who you meet and what sites you try.
It also works surprisingly well to strike up conversations with people and ask them out. Most people, even if they say no, will be very flattered to be asked.
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A
male
reader, dirtball +, writes (1 April 2011):
 Online dating is a craps shoot. You have the potential to meet some good people, but you'll have to weed through a lot of crap first.
I've been doing the online dating thing for about 6 months now. It's been a rollercoaster. It seems like there's always a catch, so just be cautious, don't rush into anything, and keep an open mind. Still, it's a good way to meet people, especially if you're shy.
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