| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating?
Q. Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating? I found out that my bf of 7 months has some porn videos of women from the internet on his computer. He has done nothing to make me doubt my trust in him, but I'm a little worried that looking at ...
A. 31 March 2011: I read another study that looked more in depth, it's actually women who are far more likely to cheat than men after engaging in porn use. I'm sorry if my last answer was confusing, I meant porn doesn't lead to cheating, I'd say people who are ... (read in full...)
I'm witholding sex from him to show him how angry I am about our sex life and him watching porn!
Q. Hello Well, I'm going to admit this on DC because I don't think I can say it out loud. I have been with my boyfriend for two years. He looks at porn pretty much every time I leave the house. I know because the history on his computer is alwa...
A. 30 March 2011: You have to talk to him about this. Witholding sex won't help anything, it will just make him want to use porn more. If he won't even discuss it with you, you may want to see a couples counselor. I also have heard great things about the book The ... (read in full...)
Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating?
Q. Is porn a step on the slippery slope to cheating? I found out that my bf of 7 months has some porn videos of women from the internet on his computer. He has done nothing to make me doubt my trust in him, but I'm a little worried that looking at ...
A. 30 March 2011: No, probably not. If he hasn't done something to make you doubt his trust, this won't change anything. One study found that people who watch porn are 300% more likely to cheat than people who don't, but it's really a chicken and egg scenario. ... (read in full...)
Women--ever had an orgasm when you needed to relieve yourself?
Q. Women of all ages.. have you ever had... an orgasm while your bladder was desparate for you to relieve itself? (and your man, was right inside you at the time)? it seems to me that you couldnt relax to orgasm, while you are holding back the...
A. 30 March 2011: I don't think it's likely to have to pee that badly and still orgasm, but it's not impossible. I've definitely been able to while needing to pee, but never quite that badly.... (read in full...)
Should I feel guilty because I sit at a community table talking politics and local government with these old men?
Q. I have never done anything in all of my years of marriage that is unfaithful I've never even thought of it to be honest I've always loved my husband even though he has been mentally and emotionally abusive to me for the entire marriage. In our home ...
A. 30 March 2011: No you didn't do anything wrong. Your husband is being insane and controlling. What could he possibly be thinking? Last I checked talking to people and drinking coffee was still considered OK. I agree with Dirtball, you shouldn't have to tolerate ... (read in full...)
His photography is creeping me out
Q. My boyfriend recently took some pictures of my teenage daughter and her friends in a running race. However for the last couple of weeks I have noticed that most evenings he continually goes back to these pictures for hours retouching them in photo...
A. 30 March 2011: That sounds bizarre. I am a professional photographer, so I practice techniques on old photos all the time. But not like that, that sounds entirely creepy. In fact when I'm editing old photos, I purposefully pick ones I won't be "creeping" on, like ... (read in full...)
I need money. Is gay porn the answer? I don't want to cheat on my GF.
Q. hello, i am in serious dept, i haven't got a job and have £103 every 2 weeks. with my balance being so high I cant make the next step with my girl friend. i watched a program on MTV about porn stars lives, there was a guy on there whom who was ...
A. 30 March 2011: Whether or not it's being filmed, you're having sex with another person. How would you feel if you knew your girlfriend was having sex with tons of other men and women? Further, most porn doesn't use condoms. How would you feel knowing you could be ... (read in full...)
Is HPV a major cause for concern?
Q. Hi everyone, I have a few questions regarding HPV... Obviously any sort of virus is a cause for concern, but it seems recently HPV has been talked about heavily, especially for and by women. I recently saw an ad on the TV for some drug for women a...
A. 29 March 2011: How is that so many people will be infected by/have HPV?
4 out of 5? It's closer to 50% but the majority of those don't know they have it until either a doctor tests them, they develop cervical cancer, or find out they are infertile from it.
How... (read in full...)
Is it okay for my boyfriend to still see his hairdresser if he has slept with her in the past?
Q. Dear Cupid, Here is my dilemma. My boyfriend and I have an amazing relationship and I think he is the person I am going to be marrying, but recently I just can't get past this issue. To make a long story short, my boyfriend had too much to drin...
A. 29 March 2011: While I don't think there's any threat here, I can see where you're coming from. I agree this would make me uncomfortable as well. Have you tried talking to him about it? I mean it seems pretty reasonable to me that he just find a new hair person. ... (read in full...)
Why did my ex un-friend me on facebook when she found out I was dating someone
Q. I date this girl for about 4 years. We broke up in August very amicably. We both loved each other but knew because of our circumstances could not get married. So I found out on fb 2 months later that she had met someone then she got engaged to ...
A. 29 March 2011: It's actually common to do this. My guess is she was having trouble moving on seeing your status updates and photo updates all the time, and seeing that you were in a new relationship was probably fairly gut-wrenching. It's just to help her get over ... (read in full...)
Is dry sex illegal?
Q. Hi I'm 15 born in 95 and my Girlfriend born in 97, We've just discovered the joys of dry sex, The legal age is 16 in the UK but as we are under 16, Dry sex as some of you might know doesn't involve intercourse, Is it illegal? Just wan...
A. 29 March 2011: For all legal purposes only penetration is considered sex so only penetration is considered illegal. What do you consider to be dry?... (read in full...)
Confused about directions on bottle of Nair...
Q. dear cupid, soo, i'm kind of confused. i was reading the back of a bottle of nair, and up at the top, it said that it could be used on the bikini area. then, i kept reading, and it said that it couldn't be used in perianal/vaginal...
A. 29 March 2011: It means you can use it on the bikini line but cannot use it to remove all the hair. You can use it on the skin that would be out of your bikini, but anything covered by the bikini is too close to very sensitive bits that you can burn with Nair.... (read in full...)
LDR boyfriend says its ok for him to have sex with call girls since its just "meaningless sex"
Q. Hi Me and my bf are in LDR for the past 6 months. I'll be going back within 3-4 months. My bf wants to have sex with some callgirls, since there was no sex for the past 6 months. I dont like the idea, when i said even i didnt have any sex for 6 mo...
A. 29 March 2011: First off, men do not have needs about sex that are different from women. So that right there is a load of bs. He just feels entitled to sex since society excuses this sort of behavior from men.
Second off, there is no such thing as meaningl... (read in full...)
Her breath smells bad during fingering and sex...why?
Q. Hi everyone. I want a little help on something. This question got rejected 2 times and I am again editing it. I hope it gets published now. Ok so here it is. Whenever me and my girlfriend have sex, as soon as I start fingering her, I smell a strang...
A. 29 March 2011: When you're aroused all your senses become more sensitive, including smell. As well she's probably panting during sex, which would force out any bad smells. You could suggest that you both mouthwash befor sex so it feels minty fresh.... (read in full...)
Married 4 years and we have never had sex
Q. i have been married for four years but have not had intercourse with my husband. he is little shy n in the beginning never took an initiative but he masturbates on regular basis. he even refuses to see a doctor. with much pressure from my end we ...
A. 29 March 2011: After 4 years of this and given his refusal to even acknowledge the problem, it's probably time to call it quits. He could be gay, he could be addicted to masturbation, who knows. But in the end it doesn't matter what's causing it if he won't seek ... (read in full...)
Will anal sex hurt every time?
Q. ok so my boyfriend and i want to have anal sex..does anyone have tips. and is there anyway to make it hurt less...other than a lot of lube.. and will it hurt everytime.....
A. 29 March 2011: If it hurts why are you doing it? My understanding is that it doesn't ever really stop hurting. If you don't like it/want it right off the bat you probably never will. If it hurts, what's in it for you? You shouldn't do something that hurts just to ... (read in full...)
I feel like I'm not as good as her ex!
Q. im having a problem... my gf and her ex never had to use a condom during sex... i have premature ejaculation therefore i use a condom to help me last longer..she tells me she doesn't mind at all but it bothers me.. i feel like a loser.. i feel like ...
A. 29 March 2011: First off you should be wearing a condom anyways. I assume you're not ready to be a dad or to have a horrible disease that makes you infertile?
Second off, why would you think her ex is better? He's her ex, there's a reason for that. The idea of ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had sex with me while I was asleep!
Q. Have a problem, don't know who to talk to. I've been with my bf for three years straight. Before we got serious, I told him I wanted to wait till we got married before we actually had sex. I've been grown in a Christian home and yea I know this ...
A. 28 March 2011: Male anon, this is extremely clearly rape. A sleeping person is not in a position to consent to sex, and therefore any "sex" with someone who is asleep is rape. There is nothing to understand about what he did, it is irrelevant whether he "likes ... (read in full...)
My ex boyfriend was so large I'm afraid its ruined me for anyone else!
Q. Hello, agony aunts. Thanks in advance for reading my question, and for any thoughtful advice or answers. I have recently come out of a two year long relationship and I am now fresh on the single scene. My ex and I got together when we were bot...
A. 28 March 2011: Your vagina doesn't get stretched out from sex or a large penis. Really the only thing that can stretch you out is giving birth, and even then with kegel exercises it's possible to go almost completely back to normal. Sex doesn't stretch anything, ... (read in full...)
Is a relationship hopeless if there's no trust?
Q. Is a relationship hopeless if there's no trust even though its the trust seems to improve ? ...
A. 28 March 2011: Without trust a relationship can't survive. But to some extent trust has to be gained. As long as there's some trust and it's improving there's hope. Most people don't just jump into a relationship fully trusting their boyfriend or girlfriend, it ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend can't get over the fact that I slept with his mate before we got together.
Q. Hi I've been with my boyfriend 5 months but we had this spark from the moment we got together. Unfortunately I had a fling with his friend before I got with my boyfriend. I only was seeing his friend for 3 wks then he ended it. Then 2 weeks after th...
A. 27 March 2011: You need to speak with this friend to tell him to stop rubbing it in. You should also make sure your bf knows he's the only one you have eyes for and this thing with his friend is in the past. Make sure your boyfriend feels special, he may also just ... (read in full...)
My wife's comments about sex since I had my surgery really hurt my feelings.
Q. My wife and I have been married for 5 years. I'm 40 and she's 36. We met through a dating site and had a super intense sex life. Both of us have extensive sexual histories. She has had threesomes which she blames on an abusive ex and many part...
A. 27 March 2011: The old saying about not asking questions you don't want the answer to is true. It sounds to me more than anything that you're just not dealing well with the idea that your wife has an extensive sexual past. You should be happy your wife feels ... (read in full...)
I was deceived. If she's pregnant, what are my options?
Q. Hello, thanks for readin, basically i met up with a girl a few weeks back who failed to tell me before she got back to mine after a party that she was allergic to latex, but told me she was infertile, so being a bit drunk and stupid i slept with ...
A. 27 March 2011: Did she lie about it or did she honestly think she couldn't and by the most terrible luck ever, somehow got pregnant? There's nothing you can do legally if she decides to have it and have you pay child support. Your best bet would be trying to talk ... (read in full...)
Women in my family have given so much up to be a housewife, why do they?
Q. Dear Ladies or should I say dear ladies only as I want only women to answer this question. I am asking these questions to you all as I quite obviously cannot ask this questions to the ladies who have forced me to ask these questions. All m...
A. 27 March 2011: There are many generations of societal expectations weighing upon them. Many women are told as they are growing up that that behavior makes for a respectable wife, and that's the kind of woman men want to marry... etc etc... A lot of women are ... (read in full...)
Morning-after-pill advice needed!
Q. My period is due in the next couple of days, but last night my boyfriend and I had a problem with a condom. It basically stayed in me as he pulled out, it looked as though all the semen was inside it, but I took the morning after pill as an extra ...
A. 26 March 2011: Your period might be off for at least one cycle, so you shouldn't worry if you don't get it on time this month. The stomach cramping they refer to as a side effect is really stomach, as in it upset some people's stomachs, not as in period type ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend had sex with me while I was asleep!
Q. Have a problem, don't know who to talk to. I've been with my bf for three years straight. Before we got serious, I told him I wanted to wait till we got married before we actually had sex. I've been grown in a Christian home and yea I know this ...
A. 26 March 2011: I have to disagree extremely strongly with the anonymous poster below. That is horrifying that he would do that to you. If you gave him permission to do it once on your rules, fine. But he's not following your rules, he's treating you like his own ... (read in full...)
After every fight he calls his ex! Is he not over her?
Q. I have been married for 5 years. We have baby, but whenever I argue with my husband he always start calling his ex. Then it takes time before I notice. When I confront him he say they are just friends and it was out of frustration. Could it be he ...
A. 25 March 2011: Yes that is a huge red flag. By claiming you are simply being controlling he's flipping the blame from himself back to you to try to diffuse your anger. It's reasonable to be upset if every time you fight he goes running to his ex. It's almost like ... (read in full...)
We are friends with benefits, and while I don't have romantic feelings for her, her having sex with others still bother me. Why?
Q. I have, what is common called, a f**k buddy. She and I both came out of long term relationships recently and sort of found each other. We have known each other for a long time and it just felt right. This has been going on for over a year now. ...
A. 25 March 2011: Yes, you want to have your cake and eat it too. One of two things is going on. Either a) you've developed feelings for her but don't want to admit it to yourself or her since you agreed for this to not happen. or b) you want the benefits of... (read in full...)
He says he doesn't want sex to get in the way of our relationship!
Q. Please he doesn't want to have sex w/ me anymore. I am about a size 14-16 and work out frequently, keep my hair and nails done and legs shaved, lol! He is good to me but since we became engaged he avoids any situation that might turn sexual. I have ...
A. 25 March 2011: There's something he's not saying here. I don't know what it is, but something has changed. Before you go forward with the marriage, you should find out the real reason. You're right, suddenly avoiding sex after getting engaged makes no sense. ... (read in full...)
I am a masturbation addict!
Q. About 2 years ago i was in a very good relationship which lasted 9 months. In that relationship, the sex was absolutely unbelieveable. We could please each other any time, all the time. But when we split up i wasnt having sex so, for the first ti...
A. 25 March 2011: First it's important to note it sounds like a porn addiction, porn and masturbation are not interchangeable words. There are a lot of groups on forums on the internet for recovering from a porn addiction, there are also groups (sort of like ... (read in full...)
Too available for my girlfriend? or She's too clingy?
Q. My girlfriend expects to talk for hours every single day. I've run out of things to talk about and uses that against me. We only see each other about 4-5 days a month on weekends due to the fact she works in another city. I'm not in school right now ...
A. 23 March 2011: Being too available is rarely a good thing. There's no need to suddenly go cold turkey (or you'll definitely upset her), but it would be good to gradually start cutting back. You can't miss someone if you're always in touch! For instance, set a time ... (read in full...)
What does it mean when a woman touches herself on the rear as she walks out of a room?
Q. What does it mean when a woman touches herself on the rear as she walks out of a room? I share an office with a woman, and it seems that every time she leaves she touches her butt on the way out. Three possibilities come to mind for me: 1. Sh...
A. 21 March 2011: It's got nothing to do with you, it only seems like it does since you're so focused on her butt? The only way I can see this having to do with you is if you have been staring at her butt so much she's uncomfortable. It's rude to stare at a woman's ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend doesn't tell his family about me and now I'm pregnant!
Q. hi, ive dated my boyfriend for 7 months and i ended it then because he didnt want it to turn into a relationship, he spent the next 6 months begging me to give him another chance and that he loves me and then i did, weve been n a relatiionship for 6 ...
A. 20 March 2011: No you're not being too hasty. This guy is obviously a loser. What kind of boyfriend tries to keep someone he supposedly loves secret from his family? If he really loved you, he'd be excited to "show you off" and introduce you to people, not try to ... (read in full...)
Why it is ok if my boyfriend hangs up on me but I can't do that to him?
Q. What do I do? My long distance boyfriend of about 6 years off and on was talking to me on the phone yesterday, and i was telling him about something important, i might have a brain tumor and have to go get checked next week. he wasn't even listening ...
A. 20 March 2011: It's not OK for him to hang up on you or for you to hang up on him! That's incredibly rude and inconsiderate, and shows you no respect at all. You should find a new boyfriend.... (read in full...)
Fiance wears inappropriate clothing. Is she trying to attract other guys?
Q. Girls: My Fiance, wears clothes that are not appropriate, showing her cleavage, very tight pants, lots of perfume, make-up and hairstyle everytime!!! i feel insecure, what do you think girls, is she trying to impress other guys?...
A. 20 March 2011: Maybe she's trying to look good for you. Maybe she wants to look good for herself. Everyone likes to feel attractive. So long as she isn't flirting with other guys and handing out her number, what's wrong with looking nice? And like a below poster ... (read in full...)
Husband is totally off sex!
Q. I don't know what to think. My husband really confusing me. Please help to figure out him, and give me some ideas. He is totally off sex, and I dont know why. He was very sexual person before. And than once he lost his erection 6 years ago at t...
A. 20 March 2011: Sounds like something serious psychologically is going on. He needs to see a therapist to figure it out. Sex isn't just about him, it's not fair for you for him to refuse to get help. If he's unwilling to seek psychological help or think about ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend wants to shower with me but we are virgins and I'm afraid it will lead to sex!
Q. My boyfriend and I are going on a holiday together which means that we are going to stay in the same room. He wants to shower with me but I don't know if I should as we are still virgins and I am afraid that that will lead to sex. Although, we h...
A. 20 March 2011: I agree with the below poster, sex in the shower is very awkward and uncomfortable. It's not the romantic wonderful thing that the movies show. It can be very fun, but it absolutely doesn't have to lead to sex. It's very easy to not have sex in the ... (read in full...)
What do women get out of sex?
Q. While the end result that's hoped for by both partners while engaging in sex is an orgasm, I can't help but notice how many women on here write about things like "I can't have an orgasm, my bf/husband can't give me orgasms, I rarely get them, I've ...
A. 20 March 2011: Well the emotional connection can be nice, but I can't imagine any woman would want to continue having sex for long if she wasn't having regular orgasms. I read a study that unsurprisingly found that women's sex drives were directly proportional to ... (read in full...)
Is it natural to have such a low libido at such a young age?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been steady at 3rd base for about a year and eight months out of our two and a half year relationship. Early on I stated that I didn't want to have sex before marriage and he stated that he was fine with this. But now, ...
A. 20 March 2011: It could mean you lack good sexual chemistry, OR it could mean that you haven't gone far enough to really find out. It's really hard to tell if you're sexually compatible before you actually have any sexual interaction. I understand you want to save ... (read in full...)
My g/f hasn't been in touch for a week should I worry?
Q. Hi I have a wee problem hope u can all help. Basicaly I havent heard from my gf in nearly a week, this however is not a rare occurance as she doesnt really text that much. i have text her everyday the last week but still havent heard from her. I h...
A. 20 March 2011: Hmm that seems a bit odd, but if she's just a distant person in general, it could be normal for her. Have you tried actually calling instead of texting?... (read in full...)
Guys: is this because you liked the attention or are attracted?
Q. Hi quick question but guys only on this one please. Say you meet a girl out and you ask her to join you and the rest your friends that youre with when you move on to a different place (say met them in the bar but you are planning on going to another ...
A. 20 March 2011: I guess it could be an an ego thing, but the more obvious answer would be that he's interested in you and wants you number so he can see you again. You'll just have to wait and see if he calls. Or if he gave you his number, maybe after a day or so ... (read in full...)
Once I found out a girl likes me, I lose interest!
Q. Ive been sorta keeping my eye out for a possible relationship with someone, and lately with some of the girls I've met I feel like they could be worth getting to know more but once I find out that they like me or they say yes to a date I don't seem ...
A. 20 March 2011: It probably just means you haven't found the right person and aren't ready for a relationship. The reason you like these people and then lose interest is because you don't really like them, you enjoy the thrill of the chase. It's exciting, but ... (read in full...)
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