| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 22 June 2011: Why is it a million times worse to pressure someone into an abortion than to pressure someone in having the baby? I don't think people should be pressured into anything, but it's hypocritical to say one thing is "a million times worse" just because ... (read in full...)
He expects me to wait until he is back from the pub to cook his dinner!
Q. My boyfriend has recently started to go to the pub every Friday after work with his new work colleagues. I wait until he gets home from work all week before I start cooking dinner. He can get home after 6pm and he likes to chill out for a bit before ...
A. 22 June 2011: Last time I checked it was the year 2011, not 1950. You are not his servant/housewife. If he wants to stay out late at the pub and eat when he comes back, you should direct him to the fridge and tell him to make it himself. You can leave him ... (read in full...)
Worried about saying racial slurs accidentally
Q. I am a student and when I'm away from home, there aren't many people of african origin. When I came back to the city it became a sudden culture shock to be back, and now I have a job working and I've suddenly got this paranoia that I'm going to say ...
A. 22 June 2011: You've been watching too much TV about the stereotypical token "angry black guy or woman" who yells at people for every little thing that could have accidentally sounded racist. If you're not a racist and you don't make jokes about black people then ... (read in full...)
Past sexual abuse has destroyed my relationship.....
Q. Hello This may be a long one! To cut a long story short I was sexually abused as a teenager 10 years ago. For most of my adult life i had been in denial until last year when i was having counsedlling for an eating disorder. I finally admitted...
A. 22 June 2011: He is being selfish. You suffered a traumatic event and are trying to recover by doing a healthy thing (seeking help) and all he can think about is having sex. Going through a sexual trauma is one of the most horrible things a person can go through, ... (read in full...)
I don't want to lose my boyfriend or my baby! What should I do?
Q. Hi,well i have been in relationship with a guy for 9 months we get on well we are a 4 hour drive away .Usually we take turns in who goes to who's place and now ive messed up BIG TIME.im 24 he is 36 and a great guy i mean it he even comes to my place ...
A. 22 June 2011: He's not your father, he's the man who is equally at fault for the unplanned pregnancy and equally responsible for whatever happens. He'll probably be scared or shocked or surprised, but blowing him off is hardly the way to deal with this. It's not ... (read in full...)
Can anyone translate this dream?
Q. Ok, before I tell you my dream, just know that recently my friends and I dropped two friends who kept causing drama and were really dorky. Don't judge. Also I am going into high school. So i was talking to my best friend (lets call her A) and ...
A. 22 June 2011: It means the drama briefly popped into your head as you were falling asleep (too close to sleep to remember doing so). Dreams don't signify anything, just what you were thinking about as you dozed off. Don't read too much into it.... (read in full...)
Should I send him online pictures?
Q. I met this guy on the internet. At first I wasnt me in the pictures and they were another prettier girl. When I realized I started liking him I told him and apologized by an ecard. We were just friends but he was angry and demanded to see 5 pictures ...
A. 22 June 2011: I understand not wanting to send photos to some random guy on the internet, but at the same time if you plan on dating someone you shouldn't deceive them. Kind of gets off on the wrong foot. I think the whole thing is just too weird to be worth ... (read in full...)
Girl I am dating drives me crazy by calling everyone "honey", "darling" and "baby"!!
Q. this may sound stupid but i cant help it that it is driving me crazy. this girl i am dating for 5 months is really getting to me because she calls people she knows casually things like "baby", "honey", "sweetheart", "love" and "darling"!! i'm ...
A. 21 June 2011: Yes, you are overreacting. She is just showing affection for these people, the words are just her way of acting friendly. I think it would be reasonable to come up with one pet name for each other that you only use with each other, but asking your ... (read in full...)
Have any women on here gained breast size whilst on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I am posting in curiosity of the contraceptive pill and breast increase.. I have never taken any contraceptive pill before. I am 22, and I hate my breasts. They are very small, my boyfriend is not attracted to them, and I've become very ...
A. 20 June 2011: Everyone responds differently, some women get larger breasts, some women just get larger, period. Some women don't have any changes at all. Personally I went up a whole cup size without weight gain, but I have friends who didn't experience this. ... (read in full...)
Is a vibrator useful to women. Is the orgasm better with a vibrator?
Q. Do women who enjoy having sex and have a vibrator enjoy using it??? If you do, Do you get a quicker 'Orgasm than with your partner?...
A. 20 June 2011: Well it depends. An orgasm with my partner is ALWAYS more satisfying than one alone. I can orgasm from penetration alone some of the time, but a lot of the time I can't get there without a bit of assistance from the vibrator. The orgasms don't feel ... (read in full...)
What is it like having an abortion?
Q. I am about 5 weeks pregnant and i am going to have an abortion I dont know anyone who has ever had an abortion before Does anyone know what happens? Do they have to do a scan before hand? I just think if they do a scan i will want to see it and e...
A. 20 June 2011: At 5 weeks they may give you the option of a drug-induced abortion, which many women prefer as they can do it in the comfort and privacy of their own home on their own timeframe, and you wouldn't have to deal with religious nuts harassing you at the ... (read in full...)
I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 20 June 2011: It's your body, you are the one who is pregnant, not him. He is completely allowed to give his opinion, but he is not allowed to demand anything or try to force you into any decision. He forfeited his choice when he decided not to pull out or wear a ... (read in full...)
Would you think it OK to kiss her if you were in the same situation?
Q. I met this girl about 2 weeks ago and we've got on so well and I really liked her from the beginning. From what I've heard from my friends she likes me as well, but the problem is that since she's a work experience student and will be leaving ...
A. 19 June 2011: You should ask her out BEFORE you kiss her. If you kiss her and she doesn't want it, it's legally sexual assault. So you should be really sure she likes you before you just grab her and plant one on her. However you can always lean in really close ... (read in full...)
I'm tired of having no bust. Can implants save this situation?
Q. I really hate my small breasts! I don't know if I should get implants, because men hate implants (supposedly) and because they're risky. But I really can't stand my small breasts anymore. I've been with few guys, but all of them, including my ...
A. 19 June 2011: A lot of women, from AA-D feel like their breasts are too small. Blame the media for focusing on silicone enlarged women as the only way to be beautiful. Have you seen Kate Hudsen? She has a very small chest and is still gorgeous.
Your boyfrien... (read in full...)
I am pregnant and don't want to give the baby away but am unsure about keeping it either
Q. So I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. I'm still not sure how far along I am but after two at-home tests and a blood test from the hospital I know for sure I am pregnant. I'm not on any birth control, because I thought for sure I ...
A. 19 June 2011: You should go speak to someone at a women's clinic. They will provide the best unbiased advice you can get, as they assist women through this all the time. I don't mean to attack the poster below, but one experience is not representative o... (read in full...)
First time, split condom, could I be pregnant?
Q. i'm freaking out, i had sex for the first time this weekend and the condom split. how much chance is there that i'm pregnant? i'm on the pill, he hadn't ejaulated yet, and there was no pre-cum because he had ejaculated before we had sex. do i...
A. 16 June 2011: "there was no pre-cum because he had ejaculated before we had sex."
Pre-cum is basically sperm-free fluid that is produced when a guy is extremely aroused. At least usually it's sperm-free. However, if he recently ejaculated, the pre-cum crea... (read in full...)
He gets horny over my baby bump. Is this normal?
Q. hey. i am 4 months pregnant. i have been with my boyfriend for 12 months, however it is not his baby. he knows, he's accepted it (i think) and he forgave me for cheating on him. anyway, now i am starting to get a bump. this seems to send my boyfr...
A. 16 June 2011: He clearly gets off on the idea of someone else having sex with his girlfriend. Which makes the whole forgiveness thing a little complicated.... (read in full...)
Should I end the relationship based on this one factor?
Q. I am wondering if I should leave my boyfriend. We have been together for nearly four months and everything is going great, except for in the bedroom. He has barely touched me the whole time we have been together and we have only been intimate t...
A. 16 June 2011: Four months isn't long, but in his saying it's an issue, it's obviously not a romantic gesture. Whatever the problem, it sounds like he's really embarrassed by it and doesn't want to discuss it, but you need to get him to talk about it. Some tactics ... (read in full...)
I'm a grown adult, so why am I still getting acne?
Q. I've had bad skin ever since my teens. Taking the pill helps, but it only masks the symptoms. If I go off it, the acne reappears soon after. And my back gets completely covered in it. I really hate it. I'm 24 so why is this still happening to me?...
A. 16 June 2011: The only person who can really answer that is a dermatologist. It's not necessarily hormonal problems if the pill fixes it. Unfortunately a lot of people get acne into their twenties, but if you see a dermatologist they can give you some ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend claims that porn vidoes aren't pornography!
Q. My boyfriend always said he didn't get into porn, although I did. He said he subscribed to playboy for several years in his 20's, most of them stayed in the wrapper because of their worth and "he liked the articles". But whatever, I tried ...
A. 14 June 2011: He clearly feels shame about watching porn. He shouldn't have lied to you then continued to lie, but he clearly has as CindyCares said, a holier than thou attitude. I'm guessing he wanted to think he was better than that, especially because of his ... (read in full...)
"talk to you soon" after a break up? does he mean it?
Q. I made contact with my ex boyfriend today. We broke up a month ago (dated for 5 months) and I know that we aren't going to get back together because his reasons were pretty firm. I still think about him a lot and in the back of my mind I think I'll ...
A. 14 June 2011: I really don't think you should read too much into a "talk to you soon." I've accidentally said that to people that I know I will never talk to again, just as a standard end to a conversation without thinking. I know you miss him, but don't get your ... (read in full...)
Should I tell my girlfriend that I use viagra?
Q. Hi I have been in a loving relationship for the past year. We have a great sex life, the thing is, I use viagra because it helps me to perform (I am 39 now and well enough said). I have never told my girlfriend that I use viagra and I am wanting ...
A. 14 June 2011: Like several other posters have mentioned, if something terrible happens and your girlfriend is asked what you're taking, they could give you something that would interact. My understanding is that this interacts with quite a few other drugs. From a ... (read in full...)
Ex treats me like I'm someone he doesn't like, so how can we get together again?
Q. Dear Cupid, My "ex"-boyfriend and I are trying to work things out to get back together. We have been together for two years and a half but throughout our relationship we have had problems that have affected our relationship now... Ever...
A. 14 June 2011: Why do you want to work things out with this ex? I say if you broke up once and there has been a lot of time in between when you may have genuinely changed, then I'd say give it another go. But this relationship sounds like a broken record. You are ... (read in full...)
Married ex had my name tattooed on his body.
Q. I am in a serious pickle and I'm afraid I've got myself into it. I was seeing a married man for a few years and broke up a few weeks back. He's been asking me to take him back since but I'm adamant to move on and make something of myself. Hoever ...
A. 13 June 2011: Clearly this guy has his priorities wrong. He wants his woman for companionship (his wife) and the woman he has sex with (you) at the same time. A sexless marriage isn't devotion to you. You have your head on straight, you know all this. Don't let ... (read in full...)
How can I be more accepting of his need to party and give him some time?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in our mid 20's and are very serious (I.e. We own a house together). I feel like in the past year he's been going out more and more without me. He recently told me that since he didn't do the whole college thing he feels like ...
A. 13 June 2011: I agree with what's been said. If this is something that bothers you, you need to draw a line and stand your ground. Going out partying with other women and refusing to let you come seems to be pretty over the line to me. He may not have partied ... (read in full...)
Why do people care so much about the colour of the skin?
Q. One of my friends is asian and has recently started to lighten his skin, only by a couple of shades and he is also treating acne scars at the same time. The abuse he's got from doing this is unbelieveable, he's lost friends, received threats etc. ...
A. 13 June 2011: It's called white privilege. People who are white or light-skinned are given unfairly good treatment. Just like people who are male are given unfairly good treatment over women. And in parts of South America people who are of European descent are ... (read in full...)
I have a crush on her. Don't think I'm a Lesbian, yet should I ask her out?
Q. I have a crush on one of my friends. She is really nice and very very pretty. She has only been in a couple short relationship's as long as i've known her. She has made cute commments about being "lesbian" for me although I never took her serious. ...
A. 13 June 2011: Well if you're worried about the label, don't let a gay or straight label stop you from going after someone you really like. As for telling her, you need to do a bit of fishing/flirting to see where she stands. The "being lesbian for you" thing ... (read in full...)
Why would a guy say he liked me shoes?
Q. What does it mean when a guy says he likes your shoes? Can a man really like a pair of cork wedges, really?! ...
A. 12 June 2011: He may have just liked your shoes and wanted to say so. There doesn't have to some kind of ulterior motive.... (read in full...)
Should I just have left my hair dark?
Q. Do you think a girl with olive skin tone, brown eyes and long mid brown hair with subtle golden tones would look nice? Because I just dyed my hair drastic change and everyone liked it but my sister made a comment about how people with my skin ton...
A. 11 June 2011: If it looks good to you then I'm sure it looks great. There is no "should" or "shouldn't" with regards to skin tone and hair color. Do what makes you happy! Hair grows back and you can dye it back at any time. Let it sit like this for awhile to see ... (read in full...)
I'm 16, tried to get pregnant and succeeded. Now I don't think it was such a good idea.
Q. So, I'm sixteen and I have a boyfriend who I am completely in love with. We get along great and though we have some issues (mainly being that my parents are irresponsible and leave me to take care of my five younger siblings which my boyfriend ...
A. 11 June 2011: If you think abortion is the best option you shouldn't not get one to spite your parents or to avoid hurting your boyfriend's feelings. It would be the same blow to his ego to give a baby that's his up for adoption. He should support you whatever ... (read in full...)
How often do you think about your boyfriend/girlfriend?
Q. A question for everyone; how often do you think about your girlfriend/boyfriend/significant other? As in, how many times a day and does it vary depending on what stage in the relationship you're in? I tend to find that I really think about the ...
A. 11 June 2011: Depends on the day. If I'm really busy I generally won't think of him too much unless I see something that reminds me of him (something he'd appreciate/like usually). If I'm not doing anything, he'll be on my mind a lot more.
I sometimes get butt... (read in full...)
I'm 16, tried to get pregnant and succeeded. Now I don't think it was such a good idea.
Q. So, I'm sixteen and I have a boyfriend who I am completely in love with. We get along great and though we have some issues (mainly being that my parents are irresponsible and leave me to take care of my five younger siblings which my boyfriend ...
A. 11 June 2011: All that's left to do is take a pregnancy test and decide what you'd do with either outcome. Just being pregnant doesn't have to mean you've ruined your life. You can terminate the pregnancy, and within the first time period of pregnancy it's ... (read in full...)
He went to a concert with a girl he used to have a crush on, and then lied about it! If she is just a friend, why would he lie?
Q. First of all thank you for your advise. I've dated my bf for 2 years and he proposed. Due to work I ended up traveling abroad for work for 6 months. Meanwhile there were 3 huge concerts on our hometown, he went to all of them and told me he was g...
A. 10 June 2011: Yes you need to confront him. It doesn't mean something happened while you were gone, but lying about something like that is a HUGE red flag. He could have thought it would upset you, but he also could have been hoping there was something there. ... (read in full...)
Any advice for getting rid of stretch marks?
Q. Hi there! Well last August I had an accident, in which I fell off my horse at full gallop and landed on my back. I didn't break anything, but my lower back and hips, and upper thighs were all scraped and bruised, and all swelled up. Almost a year ...
A. 10 June 2011: My guess is that rather than from an injury this is just part of physically maturing. I don't know a single woman in her twenties who doesn't have stretch marks. In fact even many of the men I've seen have stretch marks on their butt and thighs and ... (read in full...)
Is this normal?
Q. Im 18/f and my boyfriend is 19/m me and my boyfriend were fooling around last night, im a virgin and im about as innocent as they get...meaning before last night i hadnt even had a guy finger me or anything. The furtherest id ever been before...
A. 10 June 2011: It can be normal, it means he was putting a lot of pressure on your front wall and putting pressure on your gspot. With a bit more practice and a different touch, many women discover than they love the feeling (though some dislike it) so when you ... (read in full...)
Caught my dad red handed with porn, what do I do?
Q. I don't know wha to do. This evening I walked down stairs to find my Dad in the sitting room on his own watching "Pornhub". He wasn't doing any hand 'business' but it was clear what was going on. I dont mention it at the time. But i am now left ...
A. 10 June 2011: Don't do anything, don't say anything. This will become less awkward with time. Saying something will only permanently make your relationship with your father uncomfortable.... (read in full...)
Should I add him on Facebook? I feel if I don't do it now I'll always wonder what could have been....
Q. "He stares at me and at times avoids me. He told me before that he used to have a huge crush on me but i found out he had a girlfriend and stopped talking to him. He dumped his gf but didn't approach me because i kindof avoided him, not really ...
A. 8 June 2011: Lots of relationships have started with a friend request on facebook. What is there to lose? This actually sounds a lot like how I started dating my current boyfriend of over two years, after the class we were in ended I knew I'd probably never see ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is smoking weed everyday....Help!
Q. Ok so I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years, I could not ever picture my life without him but for the past couple months/weeks he has been smoking weed/grass near enough every single day.. Every time he talks to me (texting) or even when ...
A. 8 June 2011: This guy is addicted to weed and has cheated on you. You shouldn't still be with him. It doesn't matter if his friend was doing the egging on, your boyfriend made the decision to cheat.... (read in full...)
How do we get back into having sex frequently? And how do I reach orgasm faster?
Q. Hey there. So me and my boyfriend have been together for nearly 9 months now. I have been with 13 guys sexually before him (i know its a lot) and only one of them ever gave me an orgasm. I like having sex with my boyfriend but a lot of the ti...
A. 6 June 2011: The vast majority of women can't reach orgasm through sex alone. If you want to orgasm through sex, the next time you feel yourself getting close either have him use his fingers or you use your own fingers to push yourself over the edge. You on top ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that she once dated a pedophile??
Q. My girlfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, with a short 1 month hiatus after about 3 months. I am having difficulty dealing with some issues that have come up. Her mother is currently dating the father of one of my girlfr...
A. 6 June 2011: How does her dating a pedophile reflect on her? If she didn't know (and I'm fairly sure she didn't) then this doesn't say anything about her or her personality. Often pedophiles are extremely charming people who act like perfectly normal members of ... (read in full...)
Should I pay my boyfriend or should he work for free?
Q. I have been dating my boyfriend for a year and six months. He has a handyman business. I need electrical and plumbing work done should i pay him to do the work?...
A. 4 June 2011: You should pay for materials, but you'll have to work things out about labor. He may or may not want payment. Offer it and see what he says.... (read in full...)
Is she a virgin anymore? And can she get pregnant from anal sex?
Q. if during anal sex the penis slipped and touched the vagina and blood went out (in a virgin lady ) does it mean she lost virginity? can this causes pregnancy ?...
A. 3 June 2011: She can't get pregnant from that. Everyone else has covered the issue of hymen tearing, but I think it's a little confusing to be having anal sex and still be worrying about virginity, seeing as anal sex is generally regarded as more "extreme" sex ... (read in full...)
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