| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Sex with a high class prostitute
Q. Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...
A. 11 July 2011: "Miltiary combat & other dangerous careers are filled by lots of people, disproportionately men, who have the least options too. These careers frequently get them blown to pieces or maimed or mentally scarred for life. So let's not talk about how ... (read in full...)
Sex with a high class prostitute
Q. Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...
A. 8 July 2011: It's interesting how everyone I meet has a friend of a friend or a friend of a sibling, always someone at least twice removed who LOVES what they do. Still the person talking about this friend of a friend has never met the women, only hears through ... (read in full...)
Is this pain from trying to get a finger in normal?
Q. right i'm 19 and still a virgin i have never been fingured ... i have been with this boy for almost a year now and i want to have sex with him so badly but i have tried to fingure my self but carnt as it gives me BAD pain it makes me feel like i ...
A. 7 July 2011: Why would your friends make fun of you? You don't have to tell them why you're going just tell them to bugger off if they pry or make something up.
I can't imagine any circumstance where a doctor would laugh at someone coming in for pain. They are... (read in full...)
Bragging about how cute another girl is?
Q. Dear Cupid, How am i supposed to feel when my fiance agrees with his cousin's/friend's opinion of other females, when I'm around? It makes me mad for a cousin or friend of his to come around him, when im with him, to tell him something about an...
A. 7 July 2011: I know it's hard to accept that your partner will occasionally find other people attractive, but it's just the reality. It doesn't mean he finds them more attractive than you, but people notice other people. It's really tough to deal with the pangs ... (read in full...)
Sex with a high class prostitute
Q. Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...
A. 7 July 2011: It doesn't matter how much fun she seems to be having on TV, being a prostitute is at best a job (not a party) and at worst being raped repeatedly. Rates of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are at 65% for prostituted women, which is higher than ... (read in full...)
Is she committed to me? She keeps nude photos of herself - taken by other men
Q. My girlfriend and I have (as far as I know) an exclusive, long-term, "committed" relationship. I would, of course, be concerned if my girlfriend kept nude photos of other men on her computer. That's not quite the situation here. In this case she ...
A. 7 July 2011: She may just think she looks good in them. This doesn't seem like a red flag to me unless the other guys were in the photos.... (read in full...)
Is this pain from trying to get a finger in normal?
Q. right i'm 19 and still a virgin i have never been fingured ... i have been with this boy for almost a year now and i want to have sex with him so badly but i have tried to fingure my self but carnt as it gives me BAD pain it makes me feel like i ...
A. 7 July 2011: Well normally I'd say that it does hurt if you just try to stick things in your vagina without any "prep." I think if most women just tried putting their fingers in it would burn a bit and feel pretty uncomfortable. You need to get turned on first ... (read in full...)
Is it because I'm a virgin?
Q. Hey, so im 16 and im dating my brothers friend who is 23. We are very close and have no secrets. He wants to marry me and have me live with him once I turn 18. He has this issue down south and he gets an extremely unbearable pain if he doesnt have ...
A. 7 July 2011: Do not have sex with someone out of guilt. You're not ready and he needs to respect that. The blue balls excuse is so old! Don't fall for that one, he's just making it up. He doesn't feel any pain down there, he just wants to have sex.
First... (read in full...)
Is he trying to break up with me or something?
Q. my boyfriend just started saying mean things to me like yea you could lose some weight, stop being so needy, etc. he stopped wanting to have sex with me and hardly touches me anymore. he keeps comparing me to his ex's and i don't like that. he ...
A. 7 July 2011: I don't know if he's trying to break up with you, the big question is why aren't you breaking up with him? This guy is borderline emotionally abusive sounding. What is in this relationship for you if being in it makes you feel bad about yourself?... (read in full...)
Bragging about how cute another girl is?
Q. Dear Cupid, How am i supposed to feel when my fiance agrees with his cousin's/friend's opinion of other females, when I'm around? It makes me mad for a cousin or friend of his to come around him, when im with him, to tell him something about an...
A. 7 July 2011: I guess it depends on what he's saying. Just agreeing that someone is attractive isn't really disrespectful. His friends are the ones being disrespectful to your relationship by telling him all about it more than your boyfriend is by agreeing with ... (read in full...)
What is good for you when you're sore down there?
Q. If your vagina hurts will putting an icecube on it make it not feel sore any more? Thank you...
A. 7 July 2011: Ouch that sounds really painful! I'd imagine an ice cube would hurt more than chafing. The best way to not make it hurt is to not have sex that hurts and to use lube. You know the saying, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Just abstain ... (read in full...)
My virgin husband is making me get an std test before he will marry me...
Q. My fiance is making me get an STD test before he marries me. He is a virgin and I'm not. I have been with 2 guys before him. He told me he just wants to be sure I am clean before he marries me because he does not want to catch an std. He is ...
A. 6 July 2011: Your fiancé is right. You should get tested. Why should he expose himself to potentially dangerous diseases to prove he trusts you? If you don't think you have anything anyways it's not a big deal. They swab your vagina, less uncomfortable even than ... (read in full...)
I discovered that my ex has been cyber stalking me, should I tell him I know??
Q. Hi all! A few months back I allowed my now ex boyfriend to do a little work on my computer knowing I had nothing to hide from him and he could access all areas no restrictions. But the next day I logged on and something just told me that thin...
A. 6 July 2011: I wouldn't. Stalking behavior could be an indicator of more dangerous tendencies. If you find out he's been stalking in any other ways, you should call the police. As is that kind of computer monitoring is completely illegal. Your last paragraph ... (read in full...)
Am I being neglected or am I being too clingy?
Q. Hi, i have an amazing boyfriend. he is also my first boyfriend; we been together for 5 months and everything is going wonderfully, however due to his uni course, he has to spend one month on a site doing archaeological digging. Hes busy from 9 u...
A. 4 July 2011: If this was a long term long distance thing, I'd say he was being a jerk. But for a month? I'd say calling even a few times was impressive.
I've been on these trips, and going out drinking with your digging buddies is half the experience of the t... (read in full...)
Why do my nipples burn with great pain?
Q. Right, so long story short, I have been trying to conceive with no luck for just over a year. Periods have always been messed up. I'm not using any contraception. I have missed 7 periods in a row in the past and my doctor thought in the early months ...
A. 4 July 2011: You need to demand the doctor not dismiss it. I hate to say this, but for some reason doctors rarely take breast pain seriously if they think they can rule out cancer. I've had four different friends with random breast pains go in and be dismissed ... (read in full...)
The sex is sooo good but no orgasms!
Q. I just can't figure out why i can't orgasm with my boyfriend. The sex is SO good!! But I've only come close a few times, but just haven't got there. I can orgasm by myself pretty easily. It's really frustrating for both of us! It's been months s...
A. 3 July 2011: Only 25% of women can orgasm from penetration alone so don't feel like you're weird or broken or that this is even a problem. This is why sex terminology is so problematic. It consists of foreplay and sex, as though sex is the only "main course." ... (read in full...)
Can I make my man's penis bigger?
Q. hi am a 21 year old woman and i have a problem my fiance have a small pennis and i real love him so much we are getting married by december what am i suppose to do?is there anything that can help to grew up his pennis?please help me....
A. 3 July 2011: No there's nothing you can do. Most women can't orgasm from penetration anyways, so try having him look up new techniques for giving oral sex and using his fingers.... (read in full...)
Should I break up with my lying and cheating bf for good??
Q. Hey Agony Aunts and Uncles! Okay, i'm dealing with a terrible situation right now. My boyfriend and i been together for 2 years now and throughout those 2 years, he has cheated 4 times, he mistreats me, he hid things from me and lied to me. Okay, ...
A. 3 July 2011: This guy is obviously never going to change. Much as he wants to, much as you want him to, this is just going to continue. I know it's really hard, but build up a support system of friends and family, pick up some hobbies, get yourself ready, and ... (read in full...)
Why do my nipples burn with great pain?
Q. Right, so long story short, I have been trying to conceive with no luck for just over a year. Periods have always been messed up. I'm not using any contraception. I have missed 7 periods in a row in the past and my doctor thought in the early months ...
A. 3 July 2011: Missing your period seven months in a row, trying to conceive or not is not a good sign. If your current doctor is unable to give you answers as to why this is happening, then you should see another doctor.... (read in full...)
Successful cheaters only, tell me your stories.
Q. Hi, I was curious to hear of stories from women who have had affairs with married men and got their happy ending. Please no slander or judgements, all I would like to hear about is stories that have come out the other side were a married man has ...
A. 3 July 2011: I'm a little confused by what you mean. In order for an affair to have a happy ending that to me means no one ends up hurt, but if the man leaves his wife, the wife is going to wind up extremely hurt. To me that means there is no happy ending.... (read in full...)
Why is Divorce Ok? I am put off if I find a person is divorced.
Q. Im asking the question: Why isnt it shameful to be divorced? Why would anyone admit it? to me it makes the person look selfish and non commital really.. I have to admit it puts me off a person quite a lot. What does everyone else think? ...
A. 3 July 2011: Why should anyone stay in a marriage they're unhappy in? It's no different from any other break-up except that there's a contract for this one.
I think people getting married for the wrong reasons is much worse than getting divorced for the righ... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 2 July 2011: He may not want to share you now, but if you two end things or he gets angry or you fight, that attitude could change really fast. You don't want that stuff circulating around. ... (read in full...)
Is it illegal to have gay sex at 16?
Q. Ok, i'm a lesbian and recently i started going out with my best friend, we made out once and we've been on several dates now for about 2 months, but now she wants to take it further, i agreed to do it at hers next weekend, but i was sort of drunk ...
A. 1 July 2011: Some states have different laws about gay versus straight sex, sometimes gay sex being 18 while straight is 16. It's really ridiculous, but unfortunately the way the law works. You can really easily just look this up on the internet. Someone has to ... (read in full...)
Do porn stars really enjoy very hard core porn?
Q. I recently saw a porn that was very hardcore in my eyes, and was wondering if the women that star in the movies actually enjoy themselves. There was 5 men and one woman and they each did her anally, directly followed by orally till they cummed in ...
A. 1 July 2011: I just wanted to add very late, I found out an "interesting" statistic about this. Women in the sex industry have higher rates of PTSD than soldiers who have been in combat (it's around 65%). It is in the same range as people who have been tortured. ... (read in full...)
We both got totally drunk and my wife was lying naked next to another guy!
Q. I went with my wife to a party this past weekend and we got completely wasted, neither of us remember the later parts of the night. But all I know is that when I woke up my wife was nowhere near me. When I looked around the house for her, I found ...
A. 1 July 2011: I'm not really sure what to tell you on this. You can ask yourself this, if you can't remember it, did it really happen? You will really need to decide if this is something you can live with or something you can't.
The good news is there was no l... (read in full...)
What is more pleasurable?
Q. Just out of curiosity what is more pleasurable vaginal or anal sex for both the guy and the girl?...
A. 1 July 2011: Seeing as the majority of women not only don't find anal sex pleasurable but downright painful and uncomfortable... Do I need to say more on that? Apparently one of the main reasons some men want anal sex (according to several men's magazines ... (read in full...)
No pregnancy options?
Q. I haven't had sex, and I don't plan on it anytime soon, but I am curious. If I were to be on the pill, have the guy have a condom on, make him pull out properly, and take the morning after pill...what are the chances I would become pregnant? Is it ...
A. 1 July 2011: If you were on the pill, without the guy pulling out and without a condom the chances are less than .1% (yes, the decimal is supposed to be there). Pulling out really isn't necessary. A condom isn't either if you've been taking the pill correctly, ... (read in full...)
FWB who has moved to another state, wants to take our relationship to the next level. Now he wants nude pics of mine. Thoughts?
Q. So here's my dilemma, I a 20yr old woman and last year I left a 4yr relationship and I knew I wanted to be single for a while but as we all know not everything goes as planned. A few months after my break up I met a 23yr old guy in November...
A. 1 July 2011: Yes it's normal to send pics. It's also normal to post those pics on the internet and text and email them around to everyone he knows for a laugh or to show off or if you break up and he's having a bad day.
Given that this isn't a serious relation... (read in full...)
My job is being threatened because of my pregnancy, has anyone else been through this?
Q. Hi everyone, currently I'm four months pregnant and I inform my job the doctor gave me a letter stating that I can't lift twenty pounds, no strenuous activity, and no exposure to toxins. So they told me they cant accommodate me. Now let me say, This ...
A. 29 June 2011: It's illegal for them to fire you for getting pregnant. If they fire, demote, or place you in a less desirable position because you are pregnant you can (and should) sue them.... (read in full...)
Men and porn!!! Why do they need it?
Q. I need help! I don't understand why my boyfriend has 2 look at porn!! I'm beautiful why can't I be enough? He says I wouldn't understand. We have been together 6yrs an he's hid it the whole time until I cought him! I told him 2 make me understand an ...
A. 29 June 2011: Cerberus, another aunt said that.... (read in full...)
Is it possible to have something on your phone that has private numbers show on Caller ID?
Q. Is it possible to have something on your phone that screens through private numbers? As in, someone can call on private/witheld number, but their number still shows up? My reason for asking is that I was feeling curious as to whether my ex-bo...
A. 28 June 2011: No not unless he either pays for it or is a hacker. He may also choose not to answer unknown calls. Why would you call with no intention of talking? There's no reason he would see an unknown number and track it. He'd probably assume it was a ... (read in full...)
Has anyone else ever experienced this? Any ideas what it could be?
Q. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship, seeing each other every couple weeks, so I go long periods w/o sex. I saw him yesterday and we had sex a couple times and it hurt a lot. I was wet enough and I gave him a bj to make getting ...
A. 28 June 2011: I often get really chafed the first time after weeks apart and can feel a bit tight. Just take it slow and use good lube and reapply the lube a few times in the middle.... (read in full...)
Men and porn!!! Why do they need it?
Q. I need help! I don't understand why my boyfriend has 2 look at porn!! I'm beautiful why can't I be enough? He says I wouldn't understand. We have been together 6yrs an he's hid it the whole time until I cought him! I told him 2 make me understand an ...
A. 28 June 2011: Don't let people tell you that you don't understand and that if you did you wouldn't mind or that you're strange. The majority of women hate it (around 55%) and a large portion of women who allow it in their relationships still feel hurt. He i... (read in full...)
Did I break my hymen inserting a tampon?
Q. So the other day I was inserting a super and i think I might've broken my hymen. It was one of my last days and i was going to the beach so I put in a super. I used a cardboard one and had some difficulty putting it in. When i peed it kinda stung ...
A. 28 June 2011: What's a tampon lecture?
Unless you have an unusual hymen the tampon/applicator isn't large enough to break a hymen. Even if it was, it doesn't mean you're not a virgin or have any health implications or mean anything about the way the first ti... (read in full...)
Do I deserve the same second chance I gave her?
Q. I have been dating a girl for 21 months. Back in November, I found out by looking in her laptop that she had been talking inappropriately to other guys. That hurt me a lot and I forgave and forgot so we could move on after she apologized. Now, ...
A. 28 June 2011: Well I have to agree with her. You are a bit of a hypocrite. You got angry at her and then went out and did the exact same thing. Yes what she did was horrible, but two wrongs don't make a right. Why did you go and do the exact same thing you got ... (read in full...)
Are men responsible or women for the fact that women don't look inside themselves for true integrity anymore?
Q. I want some female feedback. I see a lot of women freaking out about their guys interest in porn. I like porn. And if i had a partner I'm sure she would hate it as I would if she liked porn. I tend to like soft porn and i don't get an erection. I ...
A. 28 June 2011: Wait you like porn and look at it, but wouldn't be OK with your girlfriend looking at it? Also I'm reading over this question where you basically state that you are physically obsessed with unrealistically beautiful women and then condemn women for ... (read in full...)
How to dance for my man
Q. I am a 31 year old woman. My husband and I were watching a movie from 1996, The People vs. Larry Flynt. At the end, Woody Harrelson's Larry Flynt is watching a video of his late wife doing a striptease for him. My husband says he wants one of ...
A. 28 June 2011: Youtube probably has good ideas for "moves," though I'm sure he will be happy with whatever you try for. It will most likely be exciting just having you doing this, period. The trick is to be confident, don't worry about things jiggling, remember he ... (read in full...)
Men and porn!!! Why do they need it?
Q. I need help! I don't understand why my boyfriend has 2 look at porn!! I'm beautiful why can't I be enough? He says I wouldn't understand. We have been together 6yrs an he's hid it the whole time until I cought him! I told him 2 make me understand an ...
A. 27 June 2011: No one needs porn. He wants porn. I doubt he was watching and didn't masturbate to it, but it's always possible. But at this point, does that really matter? It's the lying and hiding that I assume is the problem. I always recommend to couples ... (read in full...)
Do guys shave their pubic hair or not? And why?
Q. Im a 15 Year old male and i would like to know if I should shave all of my pubic hair off or just trim down there?...
A. 26 June 2011: I think either gender shaving off all their pubic hair is bad since it's tedious, sometimes painful, grows back in an awkward way, and doesn't do much except make you look like you're 10.... (read in full...)
I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 22 June 2011: Why is it a million times worse to pressure someone into an abortion than to pressure someone in having the baby? I don't think people should be pressured into anything, but it's hypocritical to say one thing is "a million times worse" just because ... (read in full...)
Do men or women have more one night stands?
Q. Has anyone done research about whether men or women are more likely to have one-night stands, flings, or other meaningless relationships? I am a man and I have never had a one night stand. None of the men I know well enough to ask about th...
A. 22 June 2011: I don't think anyone has ever studied one night stands. The only thing I can tell you is that the average number of sex partners is greater for men than women (6 versus 4) according to the Kinsey institute. The thing about that is, the few people on ... (read in full...)
Confronted my girlfriend about her sexual past and found out she was raped, and now she wont speak to me! How can I get her back?
Q. Ok so i finally convinced this beautiful girl to go out with me that took forever,Shs shy and awkward but very smart an ambitious works and goes to school. I really think im falling in love with her well I think it was really love at first site whe...
A. 22 June 2011: The below answer from serenity80 is right on. Trying to figure out how many men a woman has been with makes us feel like the only "worth" we have is our penetrability. If you liked her, when she said she didn't want to talk about it you should have ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend's nail polish turns me on, is it normal thing?
Q. I have this beautiful girlfriend for the last four years and everything seems to be going perfect for us. But I have a this strange behavior that whenever she puts on sort of a dark-red color nail polish , it turns me on big time and I feel lik...
A. 22 June 2011: Whatever floats your boat! As long as your fetish doesn't hurt anyone, what could be bad?... (read in full...)
He expects me to wait until he is back from the pub to cook his dinner!
Q. My boyfriend has recently started to go to the pub every Friday after work with his new work colleagues. I wait until he gets home from work all week before I start cooking dinner. He can get home after 6pm and he likes to chill out for a bit before ...
A. 22 June 2011: Last time I checked it was the year 2011, not 1950. You are not his servant/housewife. If he wants to stay out late at the pub and eat when he comes back, you should direct him to the fridge and tell him to make it himself. You can leave him ... (read in full...)
I want to keep the baby but he wants an abortion!
Q. Hello readers... I've recently found out that I am pregnant. I'm thrilled but really hurt at the same time. The father on the other hand is upset and want me to have an abortion. BIG PROBLEM, because I don't want to. I just don't understand how he ...
A. 20 June 2011: It's your body, you are the one who is pregnant, not him. He is completely allowed to give his opinion, but he is not allowed to demand anything or try to force you into any decision. He forfeited his choice when he decided not to pull out or wear a ... (read in full...)
Do porn stars really enjoy very hard core porn?
Q. I recently saw a porn that was very hardcore in my eyes, and was wondering if the women that star in the movies actually enjoy themselves. There was 5 men and one woman and they each did her anally, directly followed by orally till they cummed in ...
A. 24 May 2011: Probably not. Would you enjoy having you anus pounded by five different men (and one woman I assume with a strap on)? I'd imagine following that with oral would make just about anyone want to be sick. And it might actually make you sick, it's ... (read in full...)
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