| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I really hate my small breasts! I don't know if I should get implants, because men hate implants (supposedly) and because they're risky. But I really can't stand my small breasts anymore. I've been with few guys, but all of them, including my current boyfriend, have "neglected" my breasts. Some have not even touched them. My boyfriend plays with them enough for me to orgasm, and that's it. It feels like he does it only because he knows I like it, but he doesn't. When I wear low cut tops, no one looks, etc. Not even my boyfriend. He claims to be a butt guy, but he still checks out other women's breasts and all his celebrity crushes are busty (think Katy Perry). He's also complained a few times that my breasts are small. Other guys have also told me my breasts are small. I have a big butt and guys seem into it, but I want my breasts to receive attention too. I'm a woman, I like to feel womanly. I've never met a guy who likes small breasts better, or who has complimented me on my breasts. I really like having my breasts touched or sucked, even just looked at, but no. Guys just don't appreciate them, and I hate it! I feel so ugly and like I'm not good enough and like why bother taking off my top or whatever during sex if my breasts are going to be neglected or treated like a chore.What can I do? I feel like crying. I hate thinking that my boyfriend doesn't find them appealing, but that he checks out busty women and that all his celeb crushes are like DD's. I wonder how he'd feel if I treated blow jobs like a chore! I wonder how any man would feel if a woman neglected their penis because of size. I hate that Ds are the ideal, and that i don't fit into that ideal. That anyone who's with me is only with me because of personality and not because of sex appeal. Sure being love because of personality is fantastic, but I also want to be lusted after, not feel like a mere consolation prize. Just because he couldn't get a busty chick with my personality... or any of it, guys can just settle, you know? I've heard my male friends say that they love their girlfriends, but that they'd like them to be bustier, or have longer hair or whatever.I'm sorry if I sound desperate, but it's has been like this for YEARS and I'm just so tired! I'm tired of feeling like a second class woman because I'm not busty enough to be hot.
View related questions:
blow-job, breasts, crush, orgasm Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2011): Your breasts are not the problem, your bf's are.
"I really like having my breasts touched or sucked, even just looked at, but no."
Any halfway decent lover, note I said decent not superb lover, would make sure that happened.
Any superb lover would never let you go without it.
"I feel so ugly and like I'm not good enough"
You are beautiful the way that you are. Don't have the surgery, get the right kind of bf/lover.
I echo the prior poster "what guy wouldn't want to be with a girl who can orgasm just from having her breasts fondled"
God Almighty, you are a lover's dream if that is all it takes, it should make a man's ego go through the roof to be your lover.
My wife has been with me for a number of years, her breasts have varied from B cup to DD cup, at various times (pregnancy, etc), and her body has changed a lot.
I NEVER criticize any part of her body.
Your bf shouldn't ever criticize any of yours either.
A
female
reader, lovebird1  +, writes (19 June 2011):
The way you describe it, there's nothing wrong with your breasts but a lot with your relationship.
My rule is: I don't criticise imperfect body parts in my partner and I don't expect to be criticised either.
A man who really loves you will caress your whole body, if you let him.
...............................
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): There is nothing wrong with small brest, Myself I like small brest. I have been with women with small brest and I find they are much more passionet.
...............................
A
male
reader, Hugh.J  +, writes (19 June 2011):
 Oh, how lucky you are! You will never have gravity turn them into "belly-warmers" in later life but always be pert and firm.
The ONLY thing that matters is that YOU get pleasure from their being fondled, etc, and it certainly sounds like you do as you can orgasm that way.
What a stupid, but lucky, boyfriend you have......
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): I personally believe that plastic surgery is for extreme cases, to correct serious flaws. In the case of breasts, that would be women who are completely or almost flat-chested. If you fall into that category, I think plastic surgery would be a good solution because it would significantly improve your self image and therefore quality of life. However,I am against women with B coups getting double Ds, that is completely unnecessary and not worth the risk.
...............................
A
female
reader, WeCanDoIt +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I have to agree with person1234, lots of men like small breasts, for some "more that a handful" is a turn-off!
Instead of surgery you could try doing pectorial excercises.
Push-ups:
Lie on your front and bend your knees then cross your ankles.
Bend your elbows and place your palms on the floor a bit to the side and in front of your shoulders.
Straighten your arms and lift your body so you're balanced on your palms and knees.
Tuck your chin a few inches toward your chest so your forehead faces the floor. Tighten your abs.
Bend your elbows and lower your entire body at once. Rather than trying to touch your chest to the floor, lower only until your upper arms are parallel to the floor.
Push back up. Don't lock your elbows at the top of the movement
Repeat this motion 10 times then break for a minute, then do 2 more repetitions
Palm Pushes:
Press your palms together in front of your breasts. Hold for five seconds, relax
Repeat ten times.
Forearm Grip:
Grasp your forearms at shoulder level and then pull outward without letting go.
Repeat ten times.
Finger Lock:
Curl your fingers, lock them together at shoulder height, and pull. Hold for five seconds.
Repeat ten times.
Although the results wouoldn't be as dramatic as surgery it is free and healthy!
Here is another idea I read about awhile ago.
http://www.ayurvediccure.com/breast_massage.htm
I really hope this helps. Don't change yourself for anyone. Every girl is a princess. Xxx
...............................
A
male
reader, G_S  +, writes (19 June 2011):
God makes no mistakes, and you are beautiful just the way you are. You need a man who appreciates you as a person, not just because of outward appearances.
Physical attraction only goes so far and doesn't last long. No matter how hot a girl could be, if you are in the "comparison business", you will always be dissatisfied and see someone hotter in some way... Women have a much tougher time being objectified. You never hear men worrying about the size of their ball sac or the fact that one hangs lower than the other... but women constantly worry about their breasts, get implants, lifts, nipples moved up, etc... It is crazy!
Your man needs to have a real appreciation for the way you think, your sense of humor, adventure, hobbies, sports, aspirations in life, love, family, etc for you to be fulfilled. It takes time to find a good man, learning and maturing is a long process, and now you know what you don't want in a man!
You should have a serious discussion with your boyfriend. We men are not good mind readers. But a BETTER IDEA is probably NOT to have a "sit down" discussion to tell him what you want in your relationship, and teach him what you want in sex.
INSTEAD: Speak to him when you're getting intimate, move his hands and mouth where you want them. Express your extreme pleasure when it is going good. He may get so much more turned on and you may too! It may surprise you what the results can be.
If he doesn't respond to that, have the sit down. Maybe it is time to move on.
...............................
A
male
reader, Moonknight +, writes (19 June 2011):
 You are correct in that men don't prefer breast implants over the real deal, that is true. That should be a hint to you that breast implants aren't the right choice. (Apart from the obvious health issues with breast implants, they permanently damage the skin around your breast from excessive stretching, it makes your skin looks pale, light coloured compared to the rest of your skin and makes blood vessels more visible) Could be why men aren't into implants over naturals...
You say you have small breast but how small is small? you see something is going on here and that something is the fact that you are giving your breast the up most attention, it is your primary concern so you are naturally finding faults you wouldn't find and over the years of faulting the same thing over and over, you've worked it out into a routine into your bedroom.
This routine is killing your self confidence, and it's misleading you, fooling you into believe that if your boyfriend doesn't give your breast all the attention that you are mentally creating in your head then he's a jerk and any guy who doesn't constantly feed his sexual appetite from your breast is a jerk, listen to how silly that sounds. Don't agree or assume that if your boyfriend or any of your ex didn't give as much attention to your breast as you'd like that he's a jerk or he's not into your breast.
Don't assume that just because a guy looks at a busty girl that he would actually give her breast any attention during sex. Big breast are only appealing until the bra comes off from a mans point of you, take that in and remember it.
In any situations of life, if you give something too much attention you will find many faults. So stop fixing your mentality of your sex life all around your breast.
I want you to understand that implants isn't the answer, because based on your problem you will directly make yourself a sex object by increasing the size of your breast purely for men to give it more attention...??? does that even sound sensible? and to add insults to injury when the same men don't give your breast the attention you've been imaging after getting them done... you will be 10x more disappointed.
You can try to bring your boyfriends attention to your breast by using food... such as cream cherries etc... you can even buy candy bras (Pretty damn yummy from my experience) I got a pair of candy bra for my gf from sextoys.co.uk, give that a try before jumpin to implants
To sum up what i've been saying short, stop blaming your boyfriend for not giving your breast the attention you are expecting (your sexual expectations will always be more than what you receive purely because you're expecting the perfect world) And try sex toys for your boobs to give your boyfriend a reason to go there, because there is no reason why he should go there more than anywhere else is there? other than the fact that YOU like it... but what's in it for him?
Give and take, and share what you want from sex with your boyfriend, let him know you seriously enjoy him sucking, biting, foundling of your breast.
...............................
A
female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (19 June 2011):
 I dont think you have a small chest, you have a small-brained bf!NEVER EVER make a choice to alter your body for someone else! (At least one that is not easily reversible!)Do YOU genuinely dislike your body or you dislike how OTHERS respond to it?I once had a bf that asked me to go blonde because "blondes really turned him on". I am a redhead/ginger and I told him that he should date a blonde if gingers turned him off. I am not "fixing" anything for anyone but ME.
...............................
A
female
reader, nikkistarz +, writes (19 June 2011):
My heart really goes out to you. It's funny because i have dealt with the same issues in reverse. I have a very large chest, but my butt is flat as a pancake. It's especially difficult because I am black and don't fit into the large round booty category. I've had this extreme insecurity from the time I was a teenager. I've had strangers comment on it. "She looks good from the front, but when she turned around... oh NO!" Things like that. What's worse is that I married a man who teased me about it, knowing how insecure I was. I even had a guy tell me he wished that my breasts were SMALLER! I've felt the same way you do. I allowed society's perception to make me feel like I was undesirable. It's bull. I'm in my 30's and I'm JUST beginning to feel good about my body. I started seeing a therapist to help me deal with my self esteem issues, and it's helped a lot. I've noticed that as I gain confidence, not only has my husband stopped teasing me about being Flat Fran... I get more attention from random men when I'm out and about.I had always said that I would get butt implants, but I know in my heart I don't want to alter my body because of what someone else thinks. My advice to you is do what makes YOU feel good for YOU alone. Not for what you think will make you more desirable to someone else. At the end of the day you are the one who has to live with it.
...............................
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 June 2011):
 A lot of women, from AA-D feel like their breasts are too small. Blame the media for focusing on silicone enlarged women as the only way to be beautiful. Have you seen Kate Hudsen? She has a very small chest and is still gorgeous.
Your boyfriend mostly just sounds like a jerk, staring at other women's chests and telling you yours was too small. A lot of men really do prefer small chests. I actually just had this conversation with a guy friend of mine who said he wasn't into a chesty celebrity because he preferred a small chest. And what guy wouldn't want to be with a girl who can orgasm just from having her breasts fondled???
If you really want larger breasts, try a water bra for awhile and see if it really does make you happier. But the old "saying" is somewhat true, boobs attract more boobs (as in shallow guys). You don't want a larger chest just to make guys want you more. Sounds like you are largely making this decision on crappy shallow ex boyfriends. The decision to get plastic surgery should be yours and done for YOU. Not because your ex boyfriend was a jerk and didn't know how lucky he was. As well, thinking that anything smaller than a D is too small is not a healthy mentality. Before the obesity epidemic the average breast size was a B cup.
My guess is you'd attract way more attention from them if you pay them more attention during sex. Don't hide them or be ashamed of them, because guys are definitely going to pick up on that. As well, I know this probably isn't that helpful but I'll say it anyways. Women with larger breasts frequently have trouble being taken seriously.
Implants also are fairly dangerous. They prevent your doctor from feeling if you have cancer and can burst causing serious infections. You need to have regular MRIs to make sure everything is OK in there, and you can cause permanent damage to your chest. I am not actually against plastic surgery in cases where a person has always been seriously self-conscious about one body part, but implants seem just too risky to be worth it. My advice would be to love what you have and to stop dating shallow jerks.
...............................
|
