| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 22 July 2011: "And to the women who look down upon men visiting prostitutes (like a couple of women in this topic) you clearly have zero empathy for what its like for men."
And you clearly have zero empathy for what it's like being a prostituted woman treated ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 20 July 2011: It's not the type of pill so much as your body and the way it reacts to the pill. Some women will experience that side effect with a particular pill and some won't. I'm sure there are pills that would cause that in you but wouldn't in me, and visa ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 19 July 2011: I tried Yasmin, Nuvaring, Ortho Tri Cyclin Lo, and one other (I can't remember what it was called). They all caused that side effect.... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's feels discomfort after sex.
Q. My boyfriend and I have a healthy monogamous sex life. We both do not have any STD's or any of that kind of stuff. I'm asking this question on his behalf (he doesn't like to seek out help with personal problems) but he doesn't mind if I do some res...
A. 15 July 2011: I asked my boyfriend about this and he says this is really common for guys, and he just needs to urinate to get rid of it. Semen is a really basic substance so it burns a bit. Urinating both pushes out all the semen and neutralizes the pH of the ... (read in full...)
She believes rules don't apply to her because she is beautiful!!
Q. i was interested in a girl I met in the metro who is a model. she's not famous or anything but makes a living doing modeling...of course she is drop dead gorgeous. but she seemed approachable. so i got to talking with her. we went on a few dates a...
A. 15 July 2011: This isn't a beautiful people thing, it's just a "her" thing. Her choices don't really have anything to do with you after only a few dates though, so you'll have to decide if you're OK dating someone who sleeps with other people for money.... (read in full...)
How can I encourage him to give me oral again?
Q. I have been going out with my bf for 3 years now and we have a healthy sex life. He is very good at giving me oral and used to do it loads because I do not orgasm during sex and that's the only way (apart from with vibrators) that I can orgasm. But ...
A. 15 July 2011: I think you should try asking for oral before you have sex. If he refuses, then you shouldn't have sex. Don't be angry, just don't have sex. Sex isn't about pleasuring your guy and then you get a little something now and then, it's a joint thing and ... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 15 July 2011: I'm going to go ahead and give you the same little speech I give on all questions about prostitution on this site:
Before you have sex with a prostitute you should know what life for a prostituted woman is like. The vast majority of prostitu... (read in full...)
24 and never had an orgasm! Help!
Q. hi everyone sorry to be so personal heres my problem in 24 and i have never had a orgasm my new partners getting very impatient with me it just never seems to happen ive even got a vibrator which doesnt help any tips please...
A. 15 July 2011: Having a partner staring at you desperately wanting you to orgasm is pretty much a sure thing that you won't. You need to take some time to use your vibrator alone (as several others have said) and get to know yourself. Alone. You can't expect a ... (read in full...)
He pretended to be young, when really he is a 44 year old man! What should I do?
Q. hi ... i'm a girl 18 ... i met some guy on on internet on a 3D game ..he told me his name is Paul and he is 18 ... i loved him ...he shown me some pic for young boy pretending its him.. after being his gf ... in some night he told me he is Ahmed ...
A. 15 July 2011: You, my dear, have found yourself an online sexual predator. These are people who seek out young women and men on the internet, gain their trust, and manipulate them into meeting up with them. These people are usually masters at manipulation, so ... (read in full...)
If an identical twin turns out to be gay/bi, would the other twin also be gay/ bi?
Q. Lets say theres a pair of identical twins, and the one twin comes out, would the other twin also be gay or bi? I'm just curious. I was watching the simpsons episode where patti comes out, and I was wondering if that would that make selma gay, ...
A. 14 July 2011: Identical twins aren't actually 100% identical. The DNA is slightly different and the way it expresses itself can actually be different between identical twins.
However that said, there is a genetic component to homosexuality. There are several ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 14 July 2011: On the scale of months. Mine started after about 1 month, one full cup size after two months.... (read in full...)
How can I come up with a nickname for my boyfriend?
Q. There isn't anything wrong with me and my boyfriend; the reason I am writing to you is because i want to come up with a nickname that my boyfriend will be ok with I don't know what is a good nickname for him we have been together for about 9 months...
A. 14 July 2011: I don't think you can generally think up a nickname, they have to kind of just happen. Like what eyes said, except hopefully more loving than dumbass. :-p... (read in full...)
Is Cybersex/Sexting, with someone other than your spouse, cheating?
Q. Is Cybersex/Sexting, with someone other than your spouse, cheating. This is past dirty messages and includes videos of them selves being passed back and forth. I have seen for myself. He says I'm overacting since he's not physically cheating. i ...
A. 14 July 2011: Well I'm one of those people who thinks porn is cheating, so adding interaction to that is certainly cheating. Of course he says you're overreacting, you caught him doing something wrong. But you already left him, time to find someone who isn't such ... (read in full...)
I am 24 and planning to lose my virginity to a prostitute. Any tips for a first-timer?
Q. Well I'm 24 and still a virgin and really tired of waiting. So I'm looking into losing my virginity to a prostitute in a few weeks. It's legal where I live and weekly STD testing are mandatory for prostitutes. I've given up on finding a girlfr...
A. 13 July 2011: I'm not confusing anything. I'm not talking about sex trafficking, that's much much worse. I'm referring to women who entered prostitution because they needed money, the same women who place ads on websites and work in brothels, in legal places, in ... (read in full...)
Husband skinny dipping with my Bf and now hes texted her behind my back, how do I deal with this ?
Q. I caught my husband skinny dipping with my best friend, who is also married. I feel he cheated even though they said nothing happened but it still hurts the same. This is not the first time he has done something like this to hurt me. When I ...
A. 13 July 2011: I'm sorry but your husband does not sound like he has any respect for you or your marriage. Skinny dipping with another woman while drunk and then secretly texting her is almost as bad as if he had slept with her. And it doesn't sound like the first ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend caught me masturbating and said I was cheating!
Q. Hi everyone, So ive been dating this guy for 2yrs now, and i always ask him to take showers with me and his response everytime is no, then when i was in the shower i was masterbating when he caught me. When i got out of the shower he was so mad a...
A. 13 July 2011: Sorry there's no better way to say this. Your boyfriend is an ass. Why is OK for him to watch porn and masturbate but for you to do it less than him isn't? And the guy has cheated? This guy is a sexist jerk and a control freak. You can do much ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend caught me masturbating and said I was cheating!
Q. Hi everyone, So ive been dating this guy for 2yrs now, and i always ask him to take showers with me and his response everytime is no, then when i was in the shower i was masterbating when he caught me. When i got out of the shower he was so mad a...
A. 13 July 2011: Most people masturbate even when they are in a relationship. Those who have issues with it need to discuss that before they can be angry about it. Does he masturbate? I bet he does and that would make him an ENORMOUS hypocrite.... (read in full...)
I am 24 and planning to lose my virginity to a prostitute. Any tips for a first-timer?
Q. Well I'm 24 and still a virgin and really tired of waiting. So I'm looking into losing my virginity to a prostitute in a few weeks. It's legal where I live and weekly STD testing are mandatory for prostitutes. I've given up on finding a girlfr...
A. 13 July 2011: "To the others that say go get a drunk girl at a party or a bar I will remind you that if she is drunk she cannot consent by law and it's called rape so forget that." I'm glad to see that there are people who know this. The basic rule as to whether ... (read in full...)
I thought it was normal to masturbate?
Q. so the other day i was playing never have i ever with my friends. we are all 15 and we are like the more popular girls in school. a few have them have had sex and everyone else has been fingered. anyways someone said "never have i ever mastraba...
A. 13 July 2011: It's very normal, but most 15 year olds, especially 15 year old girls don't know that. It's embarrassing to admit I think. I bet quite a few of them do.... (read in full...)
He misunderstood my texts and now wants to break up with me!
Q. On Monday Fourth of July, I sent my bf of 8mths. a text saying I was drinking at a friends house and that her bf was there. So my bf thought right away that I was cheating that I was with a friend of my friends bf. But the thing is it was a joke I ...
A. 13 July 2011: Why would you say something like that over text? There's no way to tell someone is kidding or being sarcastic over text. Everything you say is taken exactly at face value. If I got a text like that from my partner I would assume he was cheating on ... (read in full...)
Sex hurts...
Q. I need some help, Recently me and my boyfriend have been trying to have sex. Btw we are being safe as i am on the pill and he uses condoms. however, we never manage to have sex as it really hurts me but we really want to do it, we have kept trying ...
A. 12 July 2011: My first guess is that you're not turned on enough. He should get you extremely aroused (like close to orgasm levels) before you even try. If you're not aroused enough you will be tight and dry and it will hurt an enormous amount. It's tricky ... (read in full...)
Girls: Have you ever been rejected?
Q. Girls have you ever approached a guy and had him reject you? I am not talking about being dumped. I am talking about when you first meet a guy, you put yourself out there and ask him out and he shoots you down. I have this theory. Most girls seem ...
A. 12 July 2011: And you think it's much better to be taught that you are totally helpless and can't make a move even if you really really really want to simply because of an idiotic double standard?
I've asked out plenty of men, some of whom only rejected... (read in full...)
My upper thighs are very dark, how can I fix this?
Q. I'm a big African girl and my problem is that my inner thighs are so dark, due to friction i guess. Also, the sides of my vagina, like going to the thighs are so itchy and don't look nice at all. I dont know what its called but you know how a baby ...
A. 12 July 2011: Women in porn get surgery or are airbrushed to look like that, surgery that cuts off important nerve endings for enjoying sex. There is no such thing as a normal looking vulva, they all look different.
I'm not sure if you mean you actually... (read in full...)
Do all guys keep their relationship status private?
Q. Hi there, i havent got a facebook account but i am thinking of joining soon. I want to add my boyfriend on relationship status and I know my boyfriends answer to it already 'im private'...but if u were private why open a facebook account and put up ...
A. 12 July 2011: Most people with a facebook will list as in a relationship I think.
I wouldn't say it's a dealbreaker at all though if he's not hiding his relationship from his friends or family in real life. Some people do prefer not to put their relation... (read in full...)
Should I start faking orgasms?
Q. I just split up with my boyfriend of two years, and I'm excited to get into the world of promiscuous sex. (That sounds terrible, but I never really experienced that world, I just jumped straight into a serious relationship.) But, I've only ever had ...
A. 12 July 2011: Don't fake it. One it's a HUGE lie and would be devastating to him to find out. Two, if you start out faking it, you're going to have to keep faking it and you will never be able to properly orgasm with your guy. Don't fake it. If it's difficult to ... (read in full...)
How should I go about giving him my number? I don't want to seem desperate!
Q. How should I go about doing this? i really like him:)? Am new at my workplace and there's this gorgeous guy there really nice. Friendly and very helpful. He talks me and flirts with me but he doesn't do that with other girls there Is j...
A. 12 July 2011: It's not desperate at all. Just casually walk past his desk and put it on top, or you could wait until he gets up for something and leave it somewhere he'll see it.... (read in full...)
Do women really enjoy having fingers in their mouths?
Q. A common thing in porn is for the man to put his fingers in the mouth of the woman during foreplay. I have never done this in my sex life. Is this something women enjoy? ...
A. 12 July 2011: And this is just one of the many reasons I think porn is a bad thing, it distorts what people believe is normal sexual behavior and leads to a fairly male-centric view of sex (given that the vast vast vast majority of porn caters to men).
There... (read in full...)
Is it normal for a two-year-old to want to nap/sleep/lay on her dad's chest?
Q. Is it normal for a two year old girl to want to nap/sleep/lay on her dad's chest? She's definitely a daddy's girl but a friend of mine told me she shouldn't want to lay on him. As soon as he lays down even if she's not going down for a nap or rea...
A. 12 July 2011: Why wouldn't that be normal? She's being affectionate, what's wrong with that?... (read in full...)
Do I really know my guy? Now that I know he looks at Gay'Tranny and SheMale porn?
Q. My baby's dad and I have been together off and on for 6 years. It hasn't been a good past 6 years. He has 2 children with another woman and yes, they were both during these last 6 years. We are currently not together but he has come over and...
A. 11 July 2011: This guy does not sound like a good stable guy to be in a relationship with. In my experience on again off again relationships rarely work out in any long term sense because there's no ability to rely on the other person. Also the fact that he ... (read in full...)
Wouldn't it be lovely if an STD/STI protocol operated? How does one confirm if a new partner does not have an STD or a STI?
Q. So,I just got out a long term relationship. So long that we were both virgins before we met and never had to worry about stds/stis. My question is, when I'm ready to get back into the dating world, how does sex work, in terms of, do most couples get ...
A. 11 July 2011: You use condoms absolutely every time you have sex and then if you want to switch to another form of birth control you both get tested. If he balks at it or something, then you demand he do it and you stick with condoms until he does. Also keep an ... (read in full...)
Sex with a high class prostitute
Q. Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...
A. 11 July 2011: "Miltiary combat & other dangerous careers are filled by lots of people, disproportionately men, who have the least options too. These careers frequently get them blown to pieces or maimed or mentally scarred for life. So let's not talk about how ... (read in full...)
Sex with a high class prostitute
Q. Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...
A. 8 July 2011: It's interesting how everyone I meet has a friend of a friend or a friend of a sibling, always someone at least twice removed who LOVES what they do. Still the person talking about this friend of a friend has never met the women, only hears through ... (read in full...)
Why do women get involved with married men (or men who are in committed relationships) and stay with them for years together, waiting for "their man" to leave his wife/mate?
Q. Why do women (of all ages)get involved with married men (or men who are in committed relationships) and in some instances stay with them for many, many, years, waiting and hoping for "their man" to leave his wife/mate? Despite you academic success, ...
A. 8 July 2011: I'd imagine because it's really hard to admit that they are second best in the love of their life's world. That would be utterly devastating I'd imagine. It's much less painful short term and easier to believe the lies.... (read in full...)
Will he ever stop cheating on his GF and be more than a FWB to me? He is my first lover
Q. So I dated this guy and we broke up on our month Anniversary and a month later we began to have sex. About every month we meet up once or twice to have sex. Most likely he is just using me because I am an easy target for him. He knows he's my firs...
A. 8 July 2011: It's clear that this guy isn't going to leave his gf for you and that even if he did, he would just cheat on you with someone else. The fact that he meets up with you a couple times a month and only talks about sex then gets defensive when you point ... (read in full...)
Spotting but still no period, am I pregnant ?
Q. hey i need some help urgently and i would really appreciate if someone answered this. okay so im 17 and i had sex a week ago(28th june). i was supposed to get my periods around the 4th to 7th july (my last period was on the 4th june). On the 7th of ...
A. 8 July 2011: You are going to simply need to see a doctor or get a pregnancy test somehow. Can you either order it online or send an older friend to buy it for you?
Spotting doesn't really mean anything either way. There are lots of reasons that someone'... (read in full...)
Do all girlfriends steal from their boyfriends?
Q. My favorite soft drink is Mountain Dew and I have a Mountain Dew T-shirt. After my girlfriend came up in my room and when I wasn't in my room with her, I think she took my T-shirt. I'm not 100% sure she took it, but my T-shirt has been missing for a ...
A. 7 July 2011: She's your girlfriend, why don't you just ask if she took it in a non-accusatory way?... (read in full...)
Ten years together. But he cheated for 2 years. Is this guy worth fighting for?
Q. I dated a guy for 10 years and in the last 2 years he was seeing another women behind my back, to which he got caught. He lied about seeing her and still does. He has not contacted me since the split, which is a month. Is he worth fighting for?...
A. 7 July 2011: No. My general rules (and I'm rarely wrong about these) for taking a guy back after cheating are:
It was a one night thing.
He came clean immediately.
A two year long affair is not someone who messed up, it is someone who will always cheat. He... (read in full...)
Feel worthless over Boyfriends cruel comment.
Q. My boyfriend said to me while drunk tonight "you cant even have children what good are you??" Now I am in tears, it hurt me so bad. I feel like giving up now. He made me feel more worthless then I already do...
A. 7 July 2011: What a "worthless" boyfriend! Why would you stay with someone who makes you feel like crap? This guy is as you said, worthless. He is not worth your time and he is not worth tears. That is an incredibly cruel thing to say to someone.... (read in full...)
Is this normal with a serious crush?
Q. I have just met a guy I really like and am starting to date. I have all the symptoms of a serious crush - butterflies, nervous excitement, restless.. However, I've noticed something strange. Over the past few days I haven't eaten nearly as much as ...
A. 7 July 2011: It can happen when anxiety levels are higher than normal. Try some breathing exercises to calm down (just try google) a little before lunch to see if it helps. Or some people find carrying peppermint or lavender scented things and sniffing them ... (read in full...)
The difference between a crush and a boyfriend?
Q. What's the difference between crush and boyfriend ??...
A. 7 July 2011: A crush is a feeling, a boyfriend is the result of action as in you've decided to be boyfriend and girlfriend.... (read in full...)
My friend has a girlfriend but we are starting to get together....what should I do? I feel really bad!
Q. I have a problem, I have this friend that has a girlfriend, he has said that he isnt happy with her, we get on really well and I think Im begining to have feelings for him, he has been round my house and I have been round his, on each occassion we ...
A. 7 July 2011: This can't end well if you have an affair. Generally this is the point where he's thinking, hey I can have two girlfriends now! If you want to make sure he truly wants to be with you (you don't know he's unhappy with his girlfriend, he could just be ... (read in full...)
Fingering in the dark bathroom, did she squirt?
Q. So i was fingering my gf in the bathroom. i was using my thumb facing forwards while kissing her. when it got really intense my hand start getting wet i stopped and checked but the light was really dimmed so i thought she was really wet. so i ...
A. 7 July 2011: Sounds like she was just really, really wet. Generally squirting only happens if she orgasms. Also it would be hard not to feel it coming out. If it happens again, I know it sounds a little gross but you can smell it and supposedly it smells vaguely ... (read in full...)
Is this pain from trying to get a finger in normal?
Q. right i'm 19 and still a virgin i have never been fingured ... i have been with this boy for almost a year now and i want to have sex with him so badly but i have tried to fingure my self but carnt as it gives me BAD pain it makes me feel like i ...
A. 7 July 2011: Why would your friends make fun of you? You don't have to tell them why you're going just tell them to bugger off if they pry or make something up.
I can't imagine any circumstance where a doctor would laugh at someone coming in for pain. They are... (read in full...)
Bragging about how cute another girl is?
Q. Dear Cupid, How am i supposed to feel when my fiance agrees with his cousin's/friend's opinion of other females, when I'm around? It makes me mad for a cousin or friend of his to come around him, when im with him, to tell him something about an...
A. 7 July 2011: I know it's hard to accept that your partner will occasionally find other people attractive, but it's just the reality. It doesn't mean he finds them more attractive than you, but people notice other people. It's really tough to deal with the pangs ... (read in full...)
Sex with a high class prostitute
Q. Is that less reprehensible? It is interesting to see how people judge prostitutes very harshly and yet someone who has lots of casual sex, one night stands and has a very high number is not considered trashy, just living their life. I guess wh...
A. 7 July 2011: It doesn't matter how much fun she seems to be having on TV, being a prostitute is at best a job (not a party) and at worst being raped repeatedly. Rates of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) are at 65% for prostituted women, which is higher than ... (read in full...)
Is this pain from trying to get a finger in normal?
Q. right i'm 19 and still a virgin i have never been fingured ... i have been with this boy for almost a year now and i want to have sex with him so badly but i have tried to fingure my self but carnt as it gives me BAD pain it makes me feel like i ...
A. 7 July 2011: Well normally I'd say that it does hurt if you just try to stick things in your vagina without any "prep." I think if most women just tried putting their fingers in it would burn a bit and feel pretty uncomfortable. You need to get turned on first ... (read in full...)
Bragging about how cute another girl is?
Q. Dear Cupid, How am i supposed to feel when my fiance agrees with his cousin's/friend's opinion of other females, when I'm around? It makes me mad for a cousin or friend of his to come around him, when im with him, to tell him something about an...
A. 7 July 2011: I guess it depends on what he's saying. Just agreeing that someone is attractive isn't really disrespectful. His friends are the ones being disrespectful to your relationship by telling him all about it more than your boyfriend is by agreeing with ... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 20 April 2011: I second Moon River. Most women would find it repulsive in a man to know he visited a prostitute. So if you plan on dating ever again in the future, it would be a good idea to not visit them. Further, you never know under what circumstances that ... (read in full...)
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