| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 5 August 2011: Let me clarify. Rape is sex by force or coercion or lack of consent. Paying someone to do something is coercion, therefore paying someone to have sex is coercing someone to have sex.... (read in full...)
Is this cheating?
Q. Is it cheating to make a profile on a dating site and chat to singles,with the intent of meeting? I cought my gf doing this and she said it was just to pass time, because she is at home all day doing nothing (I'm the only one that works). What...
A. 3 August 2011: So basically is the intent to cheat, cheating? Not really. But it's very not good. When I'm bored all day I watch a movie or TV. I don't go bolster my ego on dating sites. She had to consciously go to the site and take a significant amount of time ... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 3 August 2011: I don't believe that absolutely every instance is equivalent to rape, but that in most instances paying someone who wouldn't otherwise have sex to do so is certainly in the rape spectrum.... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 3 August 2011: You've read some interviews with people who have economic stake in making sure prostitution is portrayed positively? My job involves working with many women who are ex-prostitutes, some of whom were so traumatized by this "job" that they can barely ... (read in full...)
Tell me about love bites
Q. what is it called when a guy sucked or bites a girls neck? and will it go away? when?...
A. 2 August 2011: It's called a hickey. Like the previous poster said, it's basically a bruise and can take awhile to go away.... (read in full...)
What gives women the right to judge men for having been to prostitutes?
Q. Every time a man complains about a woman's sexual past he gets told he has no right to talk about it. But a lot of women will judge a man if they hear that he has slept with a prostitute. It's hypocrisy. If the past can't be held against one ...
A. 2 August 2011: Using a prostituted woman is completely different from a woman's past sexual history because it shows a complete disregard for women. A man who visits prostitutes is not someone who respects women. Some stats: 70-90% of prostituted wome... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to feel hurt by my boyfriend's decision?
Q. I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years. We went on one vacation over a year ago and always talk about where we can go next. But he always says he would love to travel with me but he can't go but doesn't have money and time off work. He was ...
A. 2 August 2011: What a jerk response. Because it was cheap? That's not a reason. How does this sound, "Honey I planned a delicious home cooked meal for tonight." "Oh but I passed a McDonalds and cheeseburgers were $1! Sorry!"
What were you trying to start cl... (read in full...)
Is it wrong for me to feel hurt by my boyfriend's decision?
Q. I have been dating my bf for almost 2 years. We went on one vacation over a year ago and always talk about where we can go next. But he always says he would love to travel with me but he can't go but doesn't have money and time off work. He was ...
A. 2 August 2011: No not wrong at all. It seems fairly insensitive for him to prefer going off with the guys when you two haven't had a proper holiday in so long.
I wouldn't leave your phone at home though, he may worry that something's happened to you or interpre... (read in full...)
He promised not to move away but I have seen a link to a website for a job in Australia! I don't want a LDR, so what should I do?
Q. I have been with my bf for over a year now. he is at uni studying engineering and doesnt know where he wants to work when he graduates, but he knows that he doesnt want to stay in the uk all his life. When he graduates next year, I will still ha...
A. 2 August 2011: Two things here. One, just seeing that doesn't mean anything. His friend probably sent it, either as a joke, or just to nudge him a little. Getting an email isn't going to sway him either way.
The other thing though is that I know you don't wa... (read in full...)
Pain during sexual intercourse! is this normal?
Q. Is it normal to have pain during sex x my and my bf are both inexperice him being my first bf and first sexual partner x I find am a little tight and find it really painful I found sex painful for the first time and at first when my bf fingers me I ...
A. 1 August 2011: Have you gotten counseling? After abuse it can be incredibly hard to feel comfortable being touched/having sex. You have to really, really trust your partner. Know he's going to stop exactly when you tell him to, that you are in control of what ... (read in full...)
Should I be concerned that my boyfriend lied about going to a club where he has picked up guys in the past?
Q. I'm a guy in a long distance relationship with a guy. We see each other a lot though, about ten days out of the month. Yesterday he texted me that he was going to a restaurant with some friends. Today, I saw pictures on facebook from a night out ...
A. 1 August 2011: It could have been spur of the moment, they went to the restaurant then went, "hey guys, lets go dancing!" It's probably just his favorite club more than a spot he goes to hook up. Why not just ask about his night the next time you talk and see if ... (read in full...)
Birth control questions......
Q. how do you get birth control? do you need a prescription?...
A. 1 August 2011: Birth control pills are only available by prescription. You can get one from your doctor or go to planned parenthood where they can prescribe it and fill it. It can be done totally confidentially.... (read in full...)
Does anyone know of any cons for the Mirenia IUD?
Q. Hello, Aunts and Uncles. My question I suppose can be involved with a relationship. But as of now it's a question amongst just women. I want to know if anyone knows of any cons for the Mirenia IUD? I'm due to have it out by Aug.13.11. My is...
A. 1 August 2011: If you don't replace the IUD then you can get pregnant if you don't use a barrier method of birth control. If you don't want to get pregnant you will need to use other methods of birth control immediately and should talk to your doctor about whether ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you be with a virgin? Or is it really 'too much drama'?
Q. Most guys I know say that they don't want to sleep (or even date because that will eventually lead to sleeping) with a virgin, because it's 'too much drama'. I feel like I'm way behind and I won't find anyone to ever be with me just because of that....
A. 1 August 2011: The only guys who would find it to be "too much drama" are the ones who are just looking to get laid. If a guy really cared about you, this wouldn't be a bad thing at all. I'd think given all the questions on here about the pain of a woman's sexual ... (read in full...)
Help with irregular periods and pains.
Q. with my period, im always at different times sometimes its at the begining of the month middle of the month or towards the end, My last period was 28 june,so that that maybe over 4 weeks ago, i have the symptoms of one starting like pa...
A. 1 August 2011: It you're having irregular periods and pains you should go see a doctor to rule out any hormonal problems.... (read in full...)
Husband made me stop working , now wants custody of our child!
Q. My husband got a new job, and we moved to this new town and he started his new job. He was telling me how great this was going to be and that I did not need to work anymore. I stayed home and took care of our child, he ended up cheating on me and ...
A. 1 August 2011: Wow, I mean just wow that's horrible. You need to get yourself a lawyer. It's highly unlikely a court would award sole custody to someone other than the main care provider as well as someone who ended the marriage by cheating. But you do need to get ... (read in full...)
Husband mistreats me and now he's dying. I'm not sure how to handle things
Q. my husband call me bitch whore tells me i cant cook tells me im not allowed to touch his money tell me im a fat useless bitch infrontvod my kids, i did leave him but after 5mths took him back thinkingbhe had changed he shouts at me all the time ...
A. 1 August 2011: All I can think here for him is karma. He was an abusive jerk, like everyone else has said it's unlikely he'd even give you an ounce of support if the situation was reversed. You don't owe this guy a thing.... (read in full...)
Was it Implantation bleeding? or just a really light period?
Q. I had unprotected sex twice about a week and 2 days ago(it was a Friday and Saturday). The day after,which would have been Sunday,my period was supposed to start. I am on birth control,and was on the last set of pills at the end,which are supposed ...
A. 1 August 2011: If you have been taking the pill regularly there is very little chance you are pregnant. It was most likely spotting/a light period, which can happen on the pill. If you are worried, take another test in a week or so first thing in the morning.... (read in full...)
Pain during sexual intercourse! is this normal?
Q. Is it normal to have pain during sex x my and my bf are both inexperice him being my first bf and first sexual partner x I find am a little tight and find it really painful I found sex painful for the first time and at first when my bf fingers me I ...
A. 1 August 2011: No it's not normal for sex or being fingered to hurt. You probably aren't turned on enough to be fingered/have sex. You need to be very aroused before doing anything involving any kind of penetration. Have him touch you on the outside (clitoris, ... (read in full...)
What happens when you orgasm?
Q. Hey, can anyone tell me what happens when you orgasim, im a girl and me and my boyfriend have been having sex and i csnt seem to orgasim, but csn anyone tell me what actually happens and what it feels like? thanks....
A. 1 August 2011: It feels different for everyone. Nearly everyone feels muscle contractions, some people don't feel much at all, some people feel totally overwhelmed. It should feel like there's a release of some kind/release.
The first thing you have to do to ha... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 1 August 2011: There is almost never one single reason for divorce, it is almost always a combination of major and minor things. Porn is a major one, but there is always overlap. Simply because it sounds too high to be true doesn't mean it's not. I thought it was ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 31 July 2011: Interesting how only people who are anti-porn get told they are overly obsessed and phobic and worry too much or are prude or some other negative thing. But people who are pro-porn who insult the OP, go on complete angry rampages about it and say ... (read in full...)
Why does he pin my legs down to the bed, during sex?
Q. Hello Just a quick question really so thatnks for reading Ive just started sleeping with a new guy everything is going good and sex life is fab, but my one question is during sex he holds my leg down like he pining it to the bed when hes i...
A. 31 July 2011: Why would that mean you're not good in bed? It sounds a little creepy to me, like he needs to feel like he's restraining you to get off. Why not try pointing it out to him next time he does it to see what he says?... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 31 July 2011: I'm not pornophobic (whatever that means), I'm someone who researches and writes about how pornography affects people, especially people in relationships, as part of my job. I'm anti-porn if that's what you mean, that doesn't mean I'm "phobic." I ... (read in full...)
He's really big and I'm really tiny and sex just isn't happening!
Q. I just started dating this guy who is amazing. Unfortunately when we tried to have sex it doesnt work for two main reasons. It takes a while for him to fit inside me. He is really big and I am really tiny, so the combination of the two is bad. ...
A. 31 July 2011: Unless you have a medical problem or he's abnormally enormous, it's not really possible for the woman to physically be too small. I think what you're describing is too tight. When a woman becomes aroused her vagina can expand to nearly the size of a ... (read in full...)
Is it okay for a beautiful woman to be narcissistic, rude and conceited?
Q. Right so I have this friend who is a woman. She's gorgeous. At first I fancied her a bit, but we soon realized it would not work. So we've remained mates. Thing is, she gets very conceited at times. She tells me these stories about guys she date...
A. 30 July 2011: It's not OK for ANYONE to act this way. She's just a spoiled princess who thought she could take advantage of you because you thought she was gorgeous.... (read in full...)
How come it's much harder for a man to to find someone to cheat with?
Q. Statistics show that the number of both attached men and women that cheat on their significant other are about equal. If this is true, how come it's much harder for a man to meet a woman to cheat with than it is for a woman to find a man to do the ...
A. 30 July 2011: Right, but that's ONE instance of a woman deciding she doesn't want to be with you. That doesn't have to do with the majority of the population, it doesn't even mean necessarily women can be choosier, it just means, to be blunt, she isn't ... (read in full...)
How come it's much harder for a man to to find someone to cheat with?
Q. Statistics show that the number of both attached men and women that cheat on their significant other are about equal. If this is true, how come it's much harder for a man to meet a woman to cheat with than it is for a woman to find a man to do the ...
A. 29 July 2011: To chime in on this one, the statistics are getting close, but it's not even yet (by at least 10%, some studies say more). Also to add since this wasn't clear in my last post, the vast majority of people, male and female, who cheat do so to fill an ... (read in full...)
How come it's much harder for a man to to find someone to cheat with?
Q. Statistics show that the number of both attached men and women that cheat on their significant other are about equal. If this is true, how come it's much harder for a man to meet a woman to cheat with than it is for a woman to find a man to do the ...
A. 29 July 2011: Gonna have to disagree with you on this one. Because usually when people cheat it's not because they wake up one morning and think, "I think I'll go find someone to cheat with" unless they are intending to be cruel/serial cheaters. By that I mean, ... (read in full...)
Turned on by porn but not my husband!
Q. Hi!I'm a 31yr married female and i love watching porn so much and it always turns me on but when my husband touches me or does foreplay with me i don't get turned on and i don't even enjoy sex but before i used to enjoy it. i don't know why is this ...
A. 29 July 2011: You need to stop watching porn, it sounds like you're addicted. When you can no longer enjoy sex because of porn, there's definitely a problem. There are many websites out there that can offer support and resources, you'll need to search for one ... (read in full...)
Any tips on how to achieve orgasm through vaginal sex?
Q. Hi guys, i am a 21 year old female. iv been with my boyfriend about 6 months and we have been having sex for a few months now. iv had previuos sexual partners before him. but one thing thats really been bothering my boyfriend is that he can't ...
A. 29 July 2011: First know that's it's more "normal" to be unable to orgasm from penetration than to not. Only around 25% of women can orgasm through penetration. However, there are some things you can do to increase the odds.
Number one, add in your hands. D... (read in full...)
How can we help our son?
Q. Our 19-year-old son recently "came out" to us, and we both told him that we would accept him whatever - gay, straight, bisexual. However, he's told us that although he knows he's gay, he told us it's innate, he wants to get rid of his homosexu...
A. 28 July 2011: I'm so sorry your son feels like that. It can be extremely difficult after realizing he's gay that his whole life will be different from the nuclear sitcom style presented to everyone as ideal. Try to see it from his point of view for a minute jus... (read in full...)
Will he catch my genital warts?
Q. Hi me in my boyfriend had sex twice with condoms. And I have genital warts. Will he catch it, even though we use condoms ?...
A. 27 July 2011: It is spread through skin on skin contact, not through fluids. So yes, he needs to know.... (read in full...)
Just curious, why do parents put their kids into honors classes they aren't ready for?
Q. I'm an incoming freshman who attends public school. Its a good school, but not the best. Its just a regular school but has alot of very intelligent people. Anyway, earlier this year course selection. You teachers would write down our reccomended ...
A. 27 July 2011: Because their parents want them to take what they view to be the best most rigorous classes so it will prepare them for college and look better on their transcripts.... (read in full...)
Bad breakouts and a messed up menstrual cycle....any advice?
Q. im 21 female and for the last two years my skins been going crazy. i used to have great skin but now i breakout on my chin and around my mouth all the time. my menstrual cycle is all messed up too. i started taking just this year, took yaz and that ...
A. 27 July 2011: If they drew blood for when you were sick then they probably wouldn't have tested for hormone levels unless you'd requested it/it was relevant. You'll have to go back again, since this sounds very much like a hormone issue, though maybe not from ... (read in full...)
Happened eleven years ago & I am fuming over a stripper, should I let it go??
Q. i just found out after 11 years, that the stripper cut my soon to be husbands clothes off of him while three of his "friends" (one was his brother and "best man") held him down!! then she had them lay him on the floor while she "danced" over the top ...
A. 26 July 2011: No you're not wrong. That "wild" night sounds a bit too wild and the fact that no one's stories match up is not a good sign. I'm a little confused by your wording, but you say she slept with him? Even if it was 11 years ago, cheating is cheating is ... (read in full...)
When a man takes longer with sex, does that mean he has had sex recently??
Q. my boyfriend lives away and we see each other ever weekend, when we have sex he usely comes quick, last weekend i had sex with him and he toke longer than normal, i do trust him but i have heard that when a man takes longer it can mean they have ...
A. 26 July 2011: Way more likely would be that he masturbated to last longer, or he was nervous, or he learned some new technique, or he just wanted to last longer, or he was tired, or he had some alcohol, or he was on a new medication, or any other number of ... (read in full...)
He is back in touch with the girl he cheated on his last girlfriend with, what do I do now?
Q. Hi i've been in this relationship for 10 months now and everything was going good at the start but he's changed and started to show his true colours... here is the twist he's been in care for 12 years and has been abused by everyone in his ...
A. 26 July 2011: I know you feel like you don't want to hurt him, but he clearly does not make the same consideration for you. This is someone who doesn't care about hurting you and just cheats over and over again. I also don't mean to be inconsiderate, but it's not ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my guy friend that his girlfriend is a complete tramp and people are laughing at him behind his back because he is dating her?
Q. I have a male friend who has been dating this woman for about the last 6 months seriously. He and I had a past, but now we really are just friends and it is cool. He has always been hesitant about relationships since he was burned by who he thought ...
A. 26 July 2011: Wow I never thought I'd hear another woman viciously participating in slut shaming. I think everyone here has covered pretty thoroughly that rumors are frequently fake/blown out of proportion, that it's none of your business etc...
But only a f... (read in full...)
Bad breakouts and a messed up menstrual cycle....any advice?
Q. im 21 female and for the last two years my skins been going crazy. i used to have great skin but now i breakout on my chin and around my mouth all the time. my menstrual cycle is all messed up too. i started taking just this year, took yaz and that ...
A. 26 July 2011: I agree with eyes. Sounds like your bc is messing you up, go talk to your gyno or doctor.... (read in full...)
I have a great relationship with a fantastic girl, but I cant stop checking other girls out, out of habit!!
Q. Hey guys... Need an advice :) For about four years I haven't had a gf, then two months ago I met this fantastic girl I can't stop being crazy about, we started a relationship, which is by the way going pretty great, but there's one thing that freaks ...
A. 26 July 2011: Well I think everyone notices other people, so if it's just a quick look, acknowledge someone is attractive, attention back to what you were doing immediately, then I don't think it's a problem or abnormal. If you really want to stop, you just have ... (read in full...)
Does sex feel the same for a man no matter what woman he's with?
Q. Not long ago I read a question asked by a man, if sex for women was different with different men. He then went on to say that sex for a man is in general the same no matter the woman he is with. So, it doesn't matter if a woman is good in bed or n...
A. 26 July 2011: Since sex has a lot to do with the mental, then overall I can't imagine that's possible. Given that guys also say things like, "she's best in bed." "she's bad in bed." etc... or describe the best sex of their lives then unless someone is just ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 22 July 2011: I strongly disagree with the below two posters who say he just needs to cut down or boys will be boys. This is clearly wrecking your relationship and either you need to end things or he needs to stop, cold turkey (or at least truly try). One thing ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 21 July 2011: First off, know he is not looking at porn because of anything with you. It's not because you're not hot enough or not good in bed, I'm sure he loves you the way you are. Most heavy porn users don't use porn out of horniness or lack of sexual ... (read in full...)
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