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This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 1 August 2011: There is almost never one single reason for divorce, it is almost always a combination of major and minor things. Porn is a major one, but there is always overlap. Simply because it sounds too high to be true doesn't mean it's not. I thought it was ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 31 July 2011: Interesting how only people who are anti-porn get told they are overly obsessed and phobic and worry too much or are prude or some other negative thing. But people who are pro-porn who insult the OP, go on complete angry rampages about it and say ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 31 July 2011: I'm not pornophobic (whatever that means), I'm someone who researches and writes about how pornography affects people, especially people in relationships, as part of my job. I'm anti-porn if that's what you mean, that doesn't mean I'm "phobic." I ... (read in full...)
Does sex feel the same for a man no matter what woman he's with?
Q. Not long ago I read a question asked by a man, if sex for women was different with different men. He then went on to say that sex for a man is in general the same no matter the woman he is with. So, it doesn't matter if a woman is good in bed or n...
A. 26 July 2011: Since sex has a lot to do with the mental, then overall I can't imagine that's possible. Given that guys also say things like, "she's best in bed." "she's bad in bed." etc... or describe the best sex of their lives then unless someone is just ... (read in full...)
I don't like sex, people think thats a bad thing
Q. Hello, I am an 18 year old female and I dont like the thought of sex, at all. I think its repulsive and gross. I am still a virgin and perfectly okay with it. I dont see how its can be enjoyable or pleasurable for anyone. I have not been ...
A. 26 July 2011: Actually this is more common than you think. It could mean you're a lesbian, or it could also mean that you just don't like intercourse. Either way, it isn't something you have to like to function in society. However, if you want to be in a ... (read in full...)
I took the coat to her, so surely she should be the one to travel to return it to me?
Q. I am hoping you could give me some objectivity here. You see my gf and I broke up a few months ago. It was an ugly break up. A lot of wounds. Still, there is anger and resentment on both sides. Now, while we were dating I lent her an expensive coa...
A. 25 July 2011: I think she's right. She has no investment in whether you get your coat back, only you do. In fact it seems fairly generous for her to offer to meet you anywhere at all. I understand you two broke up on bad terms, but trying to inconvenience her in ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want me, but he won't let me move on without him either, please help!
Q. I've been with my husband for almost 14 years. We have been separated for the past 2 years. We have been on again and off again . Our marriage hasn't been perfect at all. There has been infidelity on both sides. I filed for divorce but he decided he ...
A. 25 July 2011: Yes it does hurt to think of someone you spent so many years with and someone you once shared fantastic times with, with someone else. But that doesn't mean the marriage or relationship should continue to spare feelings of jealousy. This guy really ... (read in full...)
My husband doesn't want me, but he won't let me move on without him either, please help!
Q. I've been with my husband for almost 14 years. We have been separated for the past 2 years. We have been on again and off again . Our marriage hasn't been perfect at all. There has been infidelity on both sides. I filed for divorce but he decided he ...
A. 25 July 2011: He wants to keep you on the back burner until he finds what he's looking for. It's a control strategy. Get yourself a lawyer and get out of this crappy situation.... (read in full...)
Does saying "I love you" lose it's meaning if you say it a lot?
Q. Hey, does saying "i love you" lose it's meaning if you say it too much? I'm asking 'cos i've been with my bf for 10 months. He told me he loved me after about 6 weeks. For me, it felt too soon, but by 3 months, I felt I really did love him and told ...
A. 22 July 2011: I mean if you say it like 10 times a day for no reason then probably it would. But so long as you only say it when you mean it, then it shouldn't be a problem.... (read in full...)
Someone on a bike groped me! Should I tell my boyfriend?
Q. I was coming home from work today when some idiot on a bike rode up behind me and grabbed my butt. He didn't do it in a pervy way, I know he was only being cheeky but it kinda upset me. He cycled off at once, thoroughly pleased with himself, and I ...
A. 22 July 2011: "He didn't do it in a pervy way, I know he was only being cheeky but it kinda upset me."
That's because groping people without their permission is sexual assault. You did not "ask" to be assaulted in any way, though many women do feel as though they... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 22 July 2011: I strongly disagree with the below two posters who say he just needs to cut down or boys will be boys. This is clearly wrecking your relationship and either you need to end things or he needs to stop, cold turkey (or at least truly try). One thing ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to try something new?
Q. Hi guys. I have been in a relationship with an amazing girl for 2 and A half years and we are very happy apart from in the bedroom. We have great sex but it's always the same kind of thing and we never experiment or try something different. She alwa...
A. 22 July 2011: Hmmm well then my next guess is she is a bit embarrassed. You can try easing her into it. While she's already really aroused, she will probably be a lot more open minded. So really gradually over quite a few times, start dirty talking. Like don't ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to try something new?
Q. Hi guys. I have been in a relationship with an amazing girl for 2 and A half years and we are very happy apart from in the bedroom. We have great sex but it's always the same kind of thing and we never experiment or try something different. She alwa...
A. 22 July 2011: Me first guesses would be either she has been taught that sex is dirty or that she just doesn't enjoy sex. Does your girlfriend always feel good from sex? Does she orgasm every or nearly every time?... (read in full...)
Getting pregnant from a handjob?
Q. i gave my boyfriend a handjob and some semen got on my hand.i wiped it dry with kleenex. after 15 minutes i went to go have a shower as i was takign off my clothes my hand touched my vagina accidentally. could i be pregnant?? pleas help me i am so ...
A. 22 July 2011: Once dry semen can't really survive very long, it's pretty much impossible. And even if you were, there's no way you could feel stomach pains in 3 days. You really can't be pregnant from this, don't worry. If you do skip your next period, take a ... (read in full...)
Is it normal not to want sex? And to prefer a relationship without it?
Q. To be short and blunt, sex doesn't interest me at all. I thought it did but it was just me being hung up on being a virgin. Once I got past this barrier, sex just doesn't appeal to me. Is this normal and is there any way to have a relationship ...
A. 22 July 2011: Well that depends, are you attracted to people, do you masturbate? If so then you are not asexual. It could mean either the sex was bad/you weren't attracted to them, or perhaps you're not attracted to that group of people (for instance gay or ... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 22 July 2011: "And to the women who look down upon men visiting prostitutes (like a couple of women in this topic) you clearly have zero empathy for what its like for men."
And you clearly have zero empathy for what it's like being a prostituted woman treated ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for him to masturbate daily? Is porn the problem?
Q. Hello everybody.I discovered this site accidentally and I started to like it ,so i will also tell my story to you all,to find out what you think and other opinions.First of all,sorry if I’ll be making some grammar mistakes,English’s not my mother ...
A. 21 July 2011: First off, know he is not looking at porn because of anything with you. It's not because you're not hot enough or not good in bed, I'm sure he loves you the way you are. Most heavy porn users don't use porn out of horniness or lack of sexual ... (read in full...)
What is the average amount of sex to have per week?
Q. Hi Guys, What is an average amount of sex to have per week? My boyfriend and I have lived together for a year and have sex once every 1-1.5 weeks. I feel like this isn't enough but maybe I'm the one with high hopes and will always be disapp...
A. 21 July 2011: Hmmm that does seem pretty low to me. I've been with my boyfriend for 2.5 years now and we have sex 4-5 times a week, though like with cerberus sometimes it's twice a day and sometimes it's nothing for a week or two.
It's not uncommon for a couple... (read in full...)
Why are so many women so selfish? Even the great ones we love dearly!
Q. MY question is why do women expect us men to give them everything and anything they want that makes them happy, but they won't give us the simplest thing to make us happy; a blow job!? We go to all sorts of lengths, taking an interest in your...
A. 20 July 2011: Wow all this time I thought me and my boyfriend did nice things for each other for companionship and fun or because we wanted to. I never realized that every nice thing he ever did was for a blow job, which is weird since he doesn't have a ... (read in full...)
If a woman already likes you, does it really matter what you say to them?
Q. Hope its ok to ask quite a short and simple question: Ive been told by a friend that in regards to a woman, when talking to them it doesnt really matter what you say, if they already like you, thats half the battle won. Us men can say some ...
A. 20 July 2011: If a woman likes you, she likes you for your personality (hopefully). But unless she liked you for being a jerk I'd hold off on anything obnoxious, sexist, racist, etc... and I've never in my life heard of a pick up line working on anyone, so I'd ... (read in full...)
How much porn is TOO much? Is my boy friend's need for Porn excessive?
Q. Im usually cool with porn. I watch it myself several times a week and often browse naughty picture websites. I generally see it as not a big deal most the time. Sure, sometimes it upsets me and makes me feel bad but I understand those are MY ins...
A. 20 July 2011: A part of the clinical definition of addicted is 10+ hours per week. Anything over 10 hours a week is by psychology standards way too much. Usually regular/heavy porn users don't use it for sexual satisfaction, it's more of a habit (especially if ... (read in full...)
Is it just a normal guy thing to be like this, or should I worry? I seem to come second after his porn and video games.
Q. Hi there, my boyfriend and i have been together for a year now, and we have known each other for over 11 years, we were best friends growing up, and everything was great in the begining but now, it just seems like i get pushed aside for his vide...
A. 20 July 2011: Even leaving aside everything else, going online and saying he'd **** other women like crazy if he had the chance shows a complete lack of respect for you or your relationship and sounds like he'd cheat if he got the chance. This guy obviously does ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 20 July 2011: It's not the type of pill so much as your body and the way it reacts to the pill. Some women will experience that side effect with a particular pill and some won't. I'm sure there are pills that would cause that in you but wouldn't in me, and visa ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get over jealousy over my wife's sexual partners?
Q. I am 46 years old. My wife is 37. About six months ago, we were doing a book together called "All About Me", as a way to build intimacy. Unfortunately what the book did was practically ruin my life. A portion of the book asked what our number of ...
A. 20 July 2011: http://www.dearcupid.org/question/retrograde-jealousy.html
The piece Tisha-1 copied and pasted is a spectacular description/understanding of this.... (read in full...)
Is cybersex cheating?
Q. I have a cybersex habit. I had it before I met my wife and I still have it. I have a very high sex drive and my wife just doesn't keep up with me by any stretch. To me it is just a step beyond jerking myself off. In fact, that's what it is. Some...
A. 20 July 2011: You don't have to meet them for sex, you are not only interacting with other people for sexual release but you are relying on specific people who you know. By what stretch of the imagination are you not cheating? The ONLY difference between this and ... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 19 July 2011: I tried Yasmin, Nuvaring, Ortho Tri Cyclin Lo, and one other (I can't remember what it was called). They all caused that side effect.... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 19 July 2011: Wow, what an incredible description.... (read in full...)
Should I ask him if I can kiss him or just do it?
Q. So every year, me and my family go to this fete which my grandad sort of runs. Last year, I was working on a stall and I had to work with a family friend of my grandads, he is my age. We hit it off really well, he brought me candy floss. But ...
A. 18 July 2011: When the timing seems right you can lean in most of the way and give him a chance to lean the rest of the way in and finish it. ... (read in full...)
He's being weird with me now after I said I didn't like anyone at work!
Q. There's this guy I really like at work. He always tries to make a convo with me. He stares at me when he thinks am not looking and he looks away when I catch him staring. But now he's been weird with me cos he asked if I like anyone at wor...
A. 18 July 2011: Well when you said you didn't like anyone from work, you basically were saying you didn't like him. You could go up to him say you actually do like someone from work or give him your phone number or something if you think he likes you back (sounds ... (read in full...)
I'm inexperienced sexually compared to my wife. How can I know if I'm satisfying her?
Q. I recently got married, and I don't have a lot of sexual experience for my age (early 30s). Although my wife has quite a bit of experience sexually, we didn't have sex before marriage because she decided awhile back to abstain until marriage. Due ...
A. 18 July 2011: A lot of women can't orgasm at all during sex. Even one orgasm should be an indication to you that she's really enjoying herself, multiple orgasms definitely means she's totally blown away. If the sex with her previous boyfriends was that good, ... (read in full...)
Am I wrong to be trusting him? It all seems too good to be true!
Q. I'm inexperienced with guys and I can be really naive. So in really worried that I've been too believing with this guy.So I met this guy and we started talking so before I left he came up and hugged me his excuse he just felt like it. So that night ...
A. 18 July 2011: Don't doubt yourself, he sounds like he really likes you! Nothing about this screams "player, stay away." Go have fun, feel confident in your attractiveness!... (read in full...)
Does being bisexual exist in some people?
Q. Where can I start. Growing up I kinda found guys more attractive and going through puberty I liked looking at gay porn. I never looked a sexually things with women involved. There were times when i liked girls also. But I never been just fully ...
A. 18 July 2011: Sexuality exists on a continuum. There are no nice clean lines dividing people in straight or gay. If you are attracted to someone, it doesn't really matter what label you've selected for yourself. Don't box yourself in by trying to "fit," just go ... (read in full...)
My GF is a massive cheater and now she wants to keep me out of my daughters life! What kind of person is she??
Q. I met my girlfriend in May 5th, 2006 the day her husband went to vacation in the carribean. We had sex the same day, she has told me they were heading to splitville. When her husband came back from Haiti, I was at the airport and I saw them kis...
A. 18 July 2011: She's a cheater. You met her because she was cheating on her husband, I don't mean to be mean, but what made you think the same thing wouldn't happen to you?
If she is preventing you from seeing your daughter you need to get a lawyer.... (read in full...)
In a happy relationship with a man but fantasising about women! Is this normal?
Q. Hi, I'm 19, I have been in a relationship for over 2 years and I love him to pieces. I just want to know why I keep having fantasies about having sex with other women :s. I'm not a lesbian. Is it normal? Please help me Thanks. ...
A. 18 July 2011: A lot of women fantasize about other women from time to time, it's very normal. Just so long as you don't feel compelled to cheat it's not a problem at all.... (read in full...)
I can't stand the sight of my husband and I hate feeling this way!
Q. I can't stand the sight of my husband. I dread his return from work every day. Almost everything about him annoys me. His facial expressions, the way he stands, the topics he talks about... My husband is a really good man! He is very loyal and if he ...
A. 17 July 2011: Unfortunately this is a fairly frequent occurrence among parents who have either lost a child or nearly lost a child. Each person copes differently with that kind of stress/trauma and handles it differently, so you both grow apart and frequently one ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is always afraid of pregnancy even though we use protection...how do I calm her down?
Q. My girlfriend and I are worried about a potential pregnancy. She's a little later than usual for her period. She's almost always ~3 days late, but we're getting into a day or two past that point. To the best of our knowledge, she *shouldn't* be p...
A. 16 July 2011: I think you two need to take two important lessons from this.
One: you two NEED to sit down and seriously talk about the what ifs. Like how do you both feel about abortion? How would you both handle it if she was to get pregnant? Like what wou... (read in full...)
I'm concerned about his friendships with these girls!
Q. I have been with my bf for a month i know thats not long but i am in love with him and he is in love with me, but he hangs out with 2 girls and everytime he is with them it bothers me so much, the first girl vanessa is his co-worker and there close ...
A. 16 July 2011: I think your boyfriend is behaving really inappropriately with his ex. To be going out with her alone and refusing to invite you is a huge red flag. As well having some inside joke that they love flaunting in front of you is not OK. I think it's ... (read in full...)
Pardon, your slip is showing!
Q. My Aunt has recently given me some brand new 1960s style underwear which includes some waist slips with pleated hems one black, one brown and one white.I could not resist wearing them and these slips are absolutely gorgeous and when the pleats of ...
A. 16 July 2011: I know when you have super pretty underwear it's hard not to just wear that, but if there was ever a time and a place to not show underwear, it's the office. You should not have your slips showing, bra straps, etc... You are not at the office to get ... (read in full...)
She was upset because I was looking at porn again and then I left.
Q. long story short. me and my exgf had a controlling and abusive relationship. we are really crazy about each other. i betrayed her trust with a porn issue I was working on but didn't fix fast enough. she found out each time and basically never ...
A. 16 July 2011: I'm not sure if there's anything else going on other than the porn issue since it's the only thing you mention, but it sounds pretty reasonable for her to be upset if you lie to her over and over and continue to betray her about porn viewing. This ... (read in full...)
Is a sexless marriage common or should I do something about it?
Q. I have been reading a lots of different opinions on sexless marriages.Some says it is very common after long term marriage, that the marriage becomes sexless, for different reasons. And couples just keep living together sometimes a whole decade ...
A. 16 July 2011: In my opinion a sexless marriage is roommates, but that's just me. In order to keep your marriage "spicy" you need to put in work. It's difficult to keep things interesting! You both need to come with creative new ideas, try things a little outside ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend is always afraid of pregnancy even though we use protection...how do I calm her down?
Q. My girlfriend and I are worried about a potential pregnancy. She's a little later than usual for her period. She's almost always ~3 days late, but we're getting into a day or two past that point. To the best of our knowledge, she *shouldn't* be p...
A. 16 July 2011: I think a lot of women who are having sex get a little tense right before their period starts, I know I do. It's a legitimate fear of course, but if she has her usual cramps then it's fine.
If she's always three days late, then she's not late, sh... (read in full...)
Why am I having sexual dreams about being with women?
Q. I keep having vivid dreams in which I'm doing something sexual with other women, and really enjoying it! I don't understand it at all. I've never been attracted to another girl in real life. I can't possibly believe I'm repressing lesbian tendencies ...
A. 16 July 2011: Lots of women have dreams of being with other women. Sexuality isn't a concrete thing with hard lines between straight and gay, everything exists on a continuum. I've met more girls who've fantasized about other women than have not, and most of them ... (read in full...)
We split up and decided to remain friends, but he went off with his mates and didn't text!
Q. My partner of 15 months and I split up 8 weeks ago. We have had many ups and downs since then but have now put them all behind us and have decided to stay friends. We have been getting along really well and he has been very complimentary towards me ...
A. 16 July 2011: I'm sorry to say but you're acting like this guy is still your boyfriend. You're upset about him going out too long with his mates and not texting, but he's under no obligation to text you daily or keep you up to speed on everything he does with his ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend's feels discomfort after sex.
Q. My boyfriend and I have a healthy monogamous sex life. We both do not have any STD's or any of that kind of stuff. I'm asking this question on his behalf (he doesn't like to seek out help with personal problems) but he doesn't mind if I do some res...
A. 15 July 2011: I asked my boyfriend about this and he says this is really common for guys, and he just needs to urinate to get rid of it. Semen is a really basic substance so it burns a bit. Urinating both pushes out all the semen and neutralizes the pH of the ... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 15 July 2011: I'm going to go ahead and give you the same little speech I give on all questions about prostitution on this site:
Before you have sex with a prostitute you should know what life for a prostituted woman is like. The vast majority of prostitu... (read in full...)
How long does it take for breast size to increase while on the pill?
Q. Hello all, I've been on Microgynon 30 contraceptive pill for just under a week now. I am 22 and this is the first time I've been on the pill. I went on it mainly to try and calm down my bad periods. But I am hoping I may increase my breast size a ...
A. 14 July 2011: On the scale of months. Mine started after about 1 month, one full cup size after two months.... (read in full...)
Should I go see a prostitute?
Q. Recently while i was overseas I had sex (twice) with a prostitute, in an adult venue. She had the looks, body and personality of a porn star. It as the best sex I ever had (and the most expensive!) As I am single and having to 'pay for sex' is...
A. 20 April 2011: I second Moon River. Most women would find it repulsive in a man to know he visited a prostitute. So if you plan on dating ever again in the future, it would be a good idea to not visit them. Further, you never know under what circumstances that ... (read in full...)
Retrograde jealousy
Q. DearCupid sees many stories about men and women who find out after they are married that their partners have more sexual experience or partners than was initially understood. It is a very real problem for the one who is devastated to discover the ...
A. 22 August 2010: Yos, your answers are amazing. Can I just say that? You should write a book. You could really help people I think. I completely agree that being promiscuous in the past in no way affects his or her ability to love. Love and sex are/can be separate ... (read in full...)
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