A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I made contact with my ex boyfriend today. We broke up a month ago (dated for 5 months) and I know that we aren't going to get back together because his reasons were pretty firm. I still think about him a lot and in the back of my mind I think I'll always want to be with him. I contacted him because I'm in a little predicament involving a subject he is very knowledgeable in. I called and left a message as he didn't answer. He ended up calling me a few minutes later apologizing for not answering as he was on the other line. Well, I asked him my questions and he answered them thoroughly and promptly. I assumed that was the end of the conversation and thanked him for his advice and then he started asking about what's going on in my life. Which I wasn't ready for... I answered his questions and asked him a few, not bringing up anything about the break up of course. We laughed a little and it was an overall positive interaction. It started to die out and he was at work so I used that as an excuse to get off the phone. I don't want him to know that I'm still pining after him. When we finished up the conversation I thanked him again for his advice and wished him a nice day and he responded by thanking me for giving him a call and said that it was nice talking to me and that he would talk to me again soon. I'm not getting my hopes up about anything but I did notice a bit of hesitation when he said soon. It sounded like he actually meant it. It's like he stopped and thought about what he was going to say in the middle of talking. I'm in this crappy place because I still care for him a lot and I miss him very much but I know that I can't be with someone who broke up with me out of the blue. i don't deserve that. I don't know why I'm holding on to this one word "soon"... it's stupid I know but I thought maybe you all would have some advice for me... I don't plan on contacting him again. We've only exchanged a few messages and just that one phone call since the break up so I don't see the need to contact him again. Please let me know what you think... Thanks!
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 June 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionAs hard as it was to read all of the advice I see how you all are right about this. I was SO reading into it...
AGH! It's so hard though...
Although it will be difficult for me to not think about him.I vow to not initiate contact with him again! promise!
I know it's going to take time to truly get over him...
Thank you everyone!
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 June 2011):
 I really don't think you should read too much into a "talk to you soon." I've accidentally said that to people that I know I will never talk to again, just as a standard end to a conversation without thinking. I know you miss him, but don't get your hopes up over this. You had a positive conversation, he wants to be friendly, but that really doesn't mean he wants to get back together.
I say keep yourself busy, go out with friends, pick up a new hobby, something you can get very involved in and spend a lot of time doing. Something physical is always good, like a dance class. The end of a relationship is similar to a death, you are allowed to be sad and grieve. Take time to do that and move on properly.
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A
male
reader, Drew21  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 I would guess that any form of pause or hesitation was just awkwardness in figuring out how to end the conversation.
Finding yourself on the phone with an ex, especially when you weren't really expecting it, can be quite awkward. I had it happen once after i had dated my friend's sister. We had broken up (she dumped me), and hadn't really spoken in a good 4 months.
I went over to visit my friend at his parent's place. As i walked in the door, his mom was on the phone. All of the sudden she says "oh here he is, i'll put you on with him" and she shoves the phone in my face without even telling me who it was.
It was my ex. I am positive there were about 16 different awkward pauses during that particular conversation. Most of them were because of me trying to figure out how to get out of it!
I would try to avoid any further contact with him until you have healed and moved on from the relationship.
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A
female
reader, chickpea2011 +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Hi,
Break ups are hard, besides loosing someone you love, is the hardest thing one have to go through.
Good news:
1]You're not the only one
2]I know its unfair because you're a good person, didn't do anything wrong, yet why it happened is confusing and sometimes don't make sense, but happens to everybody.
3]Will get better with time
Now, you need to stop thinking about him, don't make any contact anymore.. Zero, I know its hard, but you have to be strong for yourself. Maybe in the future you can become friends, because it was not a nasty break up, but for now, for you to get over your feelings for him the only way is not talking to him anymore.
Keep yourself busy, spend time w/family and friends, go out, make new friends. Do whatever it takes to keep your mind off. Be strong, keep positive energy, take care of yourself and you will feel better. If you do that, soon enough you'll meet an amazing guy, forget about the past..
You are allow to cry, complain, be the victim for a day, whatever to take this out of your system, after that no more...no more looking back...
Feel better soon
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 June 2011):
 Honey you are SO getting your hopes up :)
Otherwise you'd realize that " talk to you soon " it's simply the standard, polite way to end this kind of conversation.
He was helpful to you, and the conversation was not awkward. Good. There are no hard feelings apparently, and he does not mind keeping things friendly. CASUAL-friendly.
" Talk to you soon " is, for instance... the way I sign off my PMs to other Aunts on this site.
Meaning, if there 'll be a chance or reason to get in touch again, that will be very nice - and if it does not happen , that's quite fine too.
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