A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I found out I was pregnant about two weeks ago. I'm still not sure how far along I am but after two at-home tests and a blood test from the hospital I know for sure I am pregnant. I'm not on any birth control, because I thought for sure I couldn't get pregnant.I'm 21 years old and about to be in my senior year of college. If I keep the baby, I will be pregnant my entire senior year and give birth in February, three months before I graduate. My boyfriend who is 23 has been very supportive and tries to convince me that he will have my back either way but I know him. We've been together for two years. He is sweet but immature at times. The first thing he said to me when I told him I was pregnant was "ok you need to make a decision, because there's a pill you can take to get rid of it" I made the mistake of telling him that if I ever got pregnant I would abort the baby, but now that I actually am pregnant, I'm not sure that's what I want. I'm very hurt and confused! I don't want the abortion but I'm so not ready for a baby. I don't want to carry a baby nine months only to have to give it up, so adoption is not really an option. My friends and my boyfriend are all telling me that I'm too young and a baby will ruin my life and my future...But I have to disagree. A huge part of me wants to keep my baby. I love it already. My mom was a single mom to three girls, and it was hard but she did it. I know I can do it...I just don't know if I want to. The thought of the word abortion scares the hell out of me. I'm afraid for what the future might hold.Please help. Any advice(especially those who have gone through this already) would be great.ThanksxOxO
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female
reader, SMARTERthaniappear +, writes (19 June 2011):
 If you have an abortion that could still also affect your life. You'll always think of how your life would have been if you would have kept your child. In my opinion I am against abortions. Most who do abort their child regrets it but those who keep their child do have some struggles raising him/her. Maybe instead of just talking to your friends and your boyfriend, you should talk with your parents about the situation and sceduale a session with a conselor. Have you thought about adoption? There are several women and men out there that are desperate to have a baby but can't becuase of bodily complications. You would still have the burden of carrying the child, but you won't have to raise your child. Another loving family will raise him/her instead. Then you could still see your child and still have the option of keeping him/her if you change your mind.
I HOPE I HELPED ^.^
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 June 2011): I had an abortion when i was 19 it was awful. I had a pill abortion i saw the baby come out and it had eyes and fingers toes a nose ears lips little limbs... It haunts me. Not just the image but the whole abortion. Im now 22 and have two kids with my husband. I can honestly say the abortion was more painful than labor and i had my kids with out pain killers. It is hard having children young but its wonderful. You never regret them and its just this undying love.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 June 2011):
 You should go speak to someone at a women's clinic. They will provide the best unbiased advice you can get, as they assist women through this all the time.I don't mean to attack the poster below, but one experience is not representative of what most other women feel. Overwhelmingly the feeling women have after an abortion is relief. The vast majority of women who have abortions do not regret doing so and never suffer any sort of mental problems or depression or anxiety. I've known several women who had abortions and not one of them regrets doing so.To the contrary, more women suffer this kind of depression and anxiety when they give a baby up for adoption since they went through an entire pregnancy, held the baby in their arms and saw it, and then gave it away. The wondering of how he or she grew up will always be there. Giving up a baby is incredibly difficult.Every single woman I know who kept a baby at a young age ended up sacrificing her own dreams to raise the baby. Most didn't finish college (or high school). You may love the baby, but you have to be prepared for the fact that keeping a baby could mean sacrificing your entire life to give your child a better one.Any time someone makes a major life choice she is going to wonder what if (what if I kept it, what if I gave it up for adoption, what if I didn't get married, what if I want to this school instead of that, etc...) there's no way around that, but it happens any time you make a major life decision, no matter what it is. You will be wondering and maybe feel some regret no matter what you do. You need to go speak to a counselor at a women's clinic so they can guide you through this and help you make an informed decision.Also, I'm wondering why you thought pregnancy couldn't happen to you. It can happen to any woman so long as she doesn't know for a fact that she is infertile. You need to use a reliable method of birth control every time you have sex.
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A
female
reader, natasia  +, writes (18 June 2011):
 Don't have an abortion, it is a nightmare. I had one when 21, and it pretty much ruined my life. Sorry - haven't got time to write much now - but just wanted to say that to start with. Check out my other answers on this. Don't do it, and I will write more when I can.
Just think about this first:
Nobody ever ever regrets having their baby.
A lot of women, if not all, regret having an abortion, and a significant proportion are distressed and distraught, and suffer for the rest of their lives.
That tells you something. Follow your heart on this one, because if you do have an abortion, then absolutely nobody will be able to make it better, or make you feel better, or fill the loss you will feel. And you will regret it the instant you have done it.
People are supporting you - so just go with this. It is ok. College isn't everything. You can always finish college, but you can't change this baby - he or she is here now, and growing every day, in complete trust, and completely dependent on you for his or her life. Treasure that. It is incredibly precious. Your instincts are completely right.
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