A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:"He stares at me and at times avoids me. He told me before that he used to have a huge crush on me but i found out he had a girlfriend and stopped talking to him. He dumped his gf but didn't approach me because i kindof avoided him, not really meaning to but its just a defense i always put up to prevent getting hurt. One day he would act like im not there and make comments about girls to make me jealous but i dont show him any emotion( BTW im a taurus) when i hear it and he stops. When he ask me for something, i dont know, i automatically turn on my charm without thinking and give him a little flirtacious smile and help him out and then i realize what i did and avoid him. I'm a flirt naturally, but yea, he makes little comments to his friends about how attractive i am and stuff all the time, and i like him ALOT but i dont want to chase him off or get hurt....soooo with this virgo im kinda in a rut...i have a lot of other guys to talk to but he's sooo interesting to me and has an amazing sense of humor that makes me melt. At times i feel really irritated by him not making the move again but then i feel like i should probably initiate but im shy and used to guys coming to me."[written on another advice site in 09, but didn't help at all]I haven't talked to him now since then but its one of those things thats in the back of my mind.It's really annoying to me that i can't really shake this thing all the way off. Right now I don't see him at all and the only way i would be able to talk to him is by sending a friend request on facebook and messaging him. I'm really not desperate but i feel as though if i don't do it now i'll never know what might have happened and I will regret it. your opinions are very much valued.
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crush, facebook, flirt, jealous, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 June 2011): I don't see anything wrong with friending him on facebook. Go for it! However, the only thing I see wrong is if you have the intention of bringing up the crush you might have had for each other or ask him about the "what ifs" and what not. You shouldn't go there. You should keep things completely casual, friendly and nonchalant. Because frankly, if the guy had such a crush on you he would have made his move. But he never did. You could blame it on something you did, or on incompatible star signs or whatever you want. But the reality is simple. If he liked you enough he would have made a move no matter what obstacles he would have had to face. But he didn't.
So go ahead and friend him and do so with minimum expectations. Be friendly. Say what's up. Ask how he is doing. And keep the conversation light and in that range. And try to move on from the kid. Unless he gives you substantial reason to think he is truly interested (aka. he asks you out, he wants to talk to you and see you often, etc) then don't keep pursuing him. Men like a challenge. So perhaps not pursuing him and moving on will actually work in your favor and in fact make you even more desirable to him. Just saying...
A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Lots of relationships have started with a friend request on facebook. What is there to lose? This actually sounds a lot like how I started dating my current boyfriend of over two years, after the class we were in ended I knew I'd probably never see him again so I sent him a message on facebook asking him to a movie.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 June 2011):
 Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
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A
female
reader, zebralove  +, writes (8 June 2011):
 What do you have to lose? Its a facebook request not a proposal to get married. ;)
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