A
female
age
36-40,
*ethanyO'Shea
writes:Hi,well i have been in relationship with a guy for 9 months we get on well we are a 4 hour drive away .Usually we take turns in who goes to who's place and now ive messed up BIG TIME.im 24 he is 36 and a great guy i mean it he even comes to my place to babysit from time to time .im a single mom of a 4 year old boy and adore him and my boyfriend accepts him and almost treats him as his own, but now im pregnant and scared hes going to get mad because we DID NOT plan in having baby. its his baby because for my sons sake i didn't date anyone until i met him because i have tried so hard to do what is right for my son now im pregnant again and im scared it is going to move him away from me because i love him tremendously. im 10 weeks pregnant and i know it with the last 5 weeks im afraid to answer phone calls and meet him i was meant to go up to his home but had to pretend im sick im afraid to do anything, i have even canceled him coming here i havent a clue how to tell him any of this i feel so bad! i love kids i really do but i cant rear a kid on my own again its really hard. hes going to freak out i didn't plan to do any of this but i just want him to understand i cant do it on my own im not getting an abortion i think its wrong but i also do not want to force him having to end up with me either. what do i do? is it possible to be a single mom of two kids? im afraid people will think im a slut if i have two kids from different fathers .what am i suppose to do i never dated a person in 3 years and now i have messed up.i dont know how to tell him im carrying his child hes going to freak because he is the type that likes to party he did ask me if i were ready to settle down but i dont know if he meant he wanted to settle down with me and i sware im not a slut or a bad person im just so confused i really mean it. im open to any advice at all im afraid all the stress will harm the baby i dont want to lose the baby nor my boyfriend what do i do.
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male
reader, Jmtmj  +, writes (22 June 2011):
 You're not going to have an abortion, so you have to tell him... and ASAP.
Here's the thing... You seem to think that he's going to run, but not all guys do this. Some run, sure... but others STEP UP to the plate, they use fatherhood as an opportunity to change their lifestyle, changes that they never had a good enough reason to stop doing... a purpose, if you will.
Not that I plan to, but if I got my girlfriend pregnant, I'd quit smoking, eat healthy and drink less, simply because I would have a reason to...
As Annalisa said... he may surprise you.
A
female
reader, lovesickchick  +, writes (22 June 2011):
First of all, don't be scared. You know in yourself that you have to tell him you are pregnant. As others said it is also his responsibility and his cause. By not telling him you are causing unneccessary stress on yourself and your relationship. Believe me, after you tell him no matter what his reaction be, you will feel a whole lot better, like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders.
Secondly, you seemed to have done a good job raising one son, and plenty of women have single handedly raised more than 3 children by themselves, don't doubt yourself!
I'm sure whatever happens everything will work out fine in the end. Good luck.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (22 June 2011):
 you must tell your partner as soon as possible about the baby. after all it's his baby too...
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 June 2011):
 He's not your father, he's the man who is equally at fault for the unplanned pregnancy and equally responsible for whatever happens. He'll probably be scared or shocked or surprised, but blowing him off is hardly the way to deal with this. It's not as though this is something you're doing to him, he is equally responsible for the fact that you are in this situation.
If you're not ready to have a second child you have other options, like abortion or adoption.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): You calm down for a start. You will end up losing your boyfriend if you don't tell him anyway so you may aswell tell him now. He may surprise you with his reaction.
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