| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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True or False: Men always think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Q. This is a question for men to answer true or false. If you're female, do not answer. This is an unanswerable question by a woman. Here is the back story, or skip to the bottom for the question. Last night while watching t.v. a character we both...
A. 15 September 2011: Someone mentioned the family photos, it's so true. There have been a bunch of new studies and thing looking into Facebook and found that in general Facebook makes people feel bad about their own lives. They see everyone else posting photos from ... (read in full...)
Feeling guilty about masturbating to girls I know?
Q. I'm 13, and I've been masturbating for a bit now, and I've decided to be ethical about it, and not use porn. So I've been imagining girls I know. It works, well! But afterword I feel guilty about it. 'Cuz one is someone I've known for a while. I ...
A. 15 September 2011: I think that's very normal to do. I mean so long as you don't tell her (or anyone) you're masturbating to her, I don't see the problem. Also that's totally awesome to make the choice not to use porn. Not to mention the dating benefits.... (read in full...)
How to I get over my porn addiction?
Q. Hello there I have been trying to get over my porn addiction, its really difficult, i will go about 3-4 days without it. But i just cant do it I am a Christian but i havnt gone to church in ages I really miss connecting with God, and i need ...
A. 15 September 2011: When feminists first became concerned with pornography it was because it had the possibility of inciting violence. It was rough/aggressive, but rarely actually portrayed violence. Modern pornography has gotten MORE violent over the years to the ... (read in full...)
True or False: Men always think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Q. This is a question for men to answer true or false. If you're female, do not answer. This is an unanswerable question by a woman. Here is the back story, or skip to the bottom for the question. Last night while watching t.v. a character we both...
A. 15 September 2011: I'd go with A as well.... (read in full...)
I seem incapable of having an orgasm
Q. I'm in need of some serious help. I think I'm incapable of having an orgasm. When I have sex it feels good of course, but seems like no matter what is done I just can't orgasm. Even when I masturbate I can't seem to orgasm. I've tried toys of all ...
A. 14 September 2011: How many toys have you tried? I had to try five different vibrators before I found one that got me there easily. Then once I learned/felt how, I had a much easier time trying other things and eventually got to the point of having them actually ... (read in full...)
True or False: Men always think the grass may be greener with someone else?
Q. This is a question for men to answer true or false. If you're female, do not answer. This is an unanswerable question by a woman. Here is the back story, or skip to the bottom for the question. Last night while watching t.v. a character we both...
A. 14 September 2011: Sorry you said no women, but I'm going to answer anyways. This whole idea that men think and feel entirely differently about things based on their sex is ridiculous. Any man who claims that "all men cheat" "all men blatantly check out other women" ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my boyfriend I 'think' I might be pregnant?
Q. Do I tell my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant? I'm 19 in a few days, he's 18 and we've been in a stable, loving relationship for 2 and a half years. I am on the pill and we use condoms everytime we have sex. I have been experiencing a lot of ...
A. 14 September 2011: Since you've been on the pill, so long as you've been taking it correctly, it's far more likely that what you're experiencing are symptoms from your pill than from pregnancy. Given that you're both on the pill and using condoms, the chances that you ... (read in full...)
She slept with my friend on the day we met
Q. Hi...This is my first post here.. I'm a 21 year old male and I met the girl of my dreams 1 month ago.. However, there are complications. I met her at a ''party'' at my friends house where she was the only girl... I chatted with her for a while ...
A. 14 September 2011: Well she probably lied to you because you are of the opinion that she is a "whore" for having sex with your friend instead of with you. Is your friend a whore as well? She shouldn't have lied, but can you at least understand why? My guess is you ... (read in full...)
How to I get over my porn addiction?
Q. Hello there I have been trying to get over my porn addiction, its really difficult, i will go about 3-4 days without it. But i just cant do it I am a Christian but i havnt gone to church in ages I really miss connecting with God, and i need ...
A. 14 September 2011: Mariclaire's suggestion is a good one. Try reading some things about pornography from a feminist perspective. Here's a good place to start (it's short and free):
http://antipornfeminists.wordpress.com/whats-wrong-with-pornography/
Here are ... (read in full...)
He cheated on me and now I can't have sex with him because it is too painful for me
Q. I've been with my boyfriend for quite sometime now, but in the past he has cheated on me. Which affected the trust in our relationship, and sex is out of the question we never have sex anymore simply because when we do its so extremely painful! I ...
A. 13 September 2011: If you can't trust him or touch him, what is the point in even staying? Clearly this doesn't sound like the kind of thing you'll ever fully get over (and I'm not sure you should), you should move on. You can do way better than a guy who cheats.... (read in full...)
How can I make my GF want to have sex with me again?
Q. Ok so I've been together with my GF for 5 1/2 months and everything had been working until she went on vacation, but she's definitely not the type to cheat on me, she came back and was normal in every way except for sex. As soon as I touch her in an ...
A. 13 September 2011: It sounds like either she cheated on you on vacation or was assaulted or something along those lines. You need to talk to her about it in a non-accusing way to try to get her to open up.... (read in full...)
The relationship has turned bad now that we live together
Q. I'm hoping someone who has been in a silmilar situation can help me. My bf and I have been going out for over 2 years. He's 21 and I'm 20. Things have always been amazing between us until recently. We moved in together 4 months ago and now our ...
A. 13 September 2011: Unfortunately a lot of guys seem to expect the woman to do the housework and cooking and such. You need to sit down and write out the chores that HAVE to be done regularly and divide them up. You're both young so I'm assuming you're both fairly new ... (read in full...)
Is my husband turning to porn because he's bored with me?
Q. My husband has cheated behind my back for 5 years with at least 2 other women, who he was meeting on internet dating sites. I have been tormented by this betrayal and lies for 2 years now. Although he seemed remorseful and promised to neve...
A. 12 September 2011: Porn isn't a sign he's going to cheat. Cheating on you for five years is a sign he's going to cheat on you. You need to leave this guy, he will probably never change. Even if he does, will you ever fully be able to trust him again, or will that ... (read in full...)
Has anyone worried about having an unattractive child?
Q. so this isnt a bf/gf type question but i do need a bit of advice. Has anyone ever been worried about having an unattractive child? It may seem selfish....but i cant believe im the only one who has ever worried. Help please?...
A. 12 September 2011: I think just about everyone hopes their child will be the smartest, most attractive, most popular, most creative, and most successful person on the planet.... (read in full...)
Would u have sex with someone if they promised a job?
Q. would u have sex with someone if they promised you a job or if theyd support you but you were a virgin...
A. 12 September 2011: Legally, that's rape by coercion. So no, you shouldn't put yourself in that situation.... (read in full...)
Sexual past abuse is causing problems in my current relationships
Q. I was molested when I was a kid and because of it I find it really hard to be with a guy. My boyfriend and I have been together for 1 year and whenever we start to get intimate or things start to move forward I stop him and he's so patient but I'm ...
A. 12 September 2011: You need to speak to someone about your abuse. Try seeking counseling. If you're in school somewhere, speak to your school counselor. There's also the sexual abuse hotline through RAINN where sexual assault victims can call and speak to someone or ... (read in full...)
Why is a married woman telling me about her sexual past?
Q. I need to know why a married woman would tell a guy she knows that she has only had one sexual partner in her life, which is her husband? If you were a guy and a married lady told you that, what would you think her intentions were? I don't think ...
A. 11 September 2011: I think you're reading way, way too much into this. Some people are less private about their sex lives than others, and that's not even really her sex life.... (read in full...)
College or the best man I've ever been with?
Q. Hi Everyone. Well this is the situation. I've been dating this guy for 3 years approximately. I'm in love with him deeply and he loves me too like no ones ever loved me before. Our relationship is just like any other, we fight sometimes but we a...
A. 11 September 2011: I didn't realize it was 1940 where a woman had to drop out of school in order to get married. Yes you have to spend less time with him in order to go to school. But so what? I don't mean to sound rude, but someone who spends all their time following ... (read in full...)
Do ALL men really watch porn??
Q. I guess I should ask this as a curiousity question, aimed at men preferrably. Now, I have been on this site awhile and asked and answered a few questions. What I always hear on the topic of porn- ALL MEN WATCH PORN. Is this true? Now I will say...
A. 8 September 2011: "Most men masturbate regularly even when getting regular sex. And the men who say they don't are telling their partner what they want to hear."
That's just not true. How do I know? Because I'd be pregnant now if my boyfriend was doing it and lyin... (read in full...)
Why did he tell me he liked the head massages I give him and then go get one elsewhere?
Q. Hi, I would like you aunts opinion on this please,and if i'm being silly and just over reacting. I have been in a relationship for over 7yrs with the same man, he always tells me how good he feels when he is with me,and how relaxed he is when i g...
A. 8 September 2011: I actually do understand what you mean, my boyfriend is the same way (he told me that he'd feel like he was cheating to go get back massages anywhere else when I wanted to buy him one). However, I think you are being a bit silly/overreacting, as ... (read in full...)
My parents won't let me study at home and I don't want to go back to school!
Q. Hello dearcupid. I am a 16 year old english girl and i moved to spain when i was 11. I did the last year of primary school here and i have done 4 years at secondary school. When i first moved here i made english friends and sort of stuck with them ...
A. 8 September 2011: You need to listen to your parents and go back to school, as it's incredibly important. I know your friends are important to you, but if you put in a little effort, you will make new friends. It's really stressful and difficult (both mentally and ... (read in full...)
Who is the father of my baby?
Q. please help! Here are the facts: I stopped taking the pill birth control in april 2011 I have reguar periods and a pretty normal cycle. Last missed period: may 24. I found out I was pregnant: june 25 I cheated on my boyfriend on: june 5...
A. 8 September 2011: The doctor can tell you how long you've been pregnant, as marieclaire says, and then you can do the math. Though I'd be shocked if it wasn't your boyfriend's, since withdrawal is barely more safe than just forgetting about birth control all ... (read in full...)
My wife thinks I have a small penis!
Q. I have a troubling issue in my marriage. To get right to the point, it has to do with penis size and my wife's perception. I am about 5.75 by 5 around and I always thought fairly average. When my wife and I talk it is clear that she thinks ...
A. 8 September 2011: That's so incredibly insensitive. She's obviously trying to be mean/make you feel bad, do you have any ideas why? Recent arguments, etc...?
I think you need to sit her down for an awkward talk and ask her why she has been being so mean and purp... (read in full...)
Am I being overly sensitive because he didn't say sorry for giving me a really bad cold?
Q. I'm casually seeing this guy...he is seeing a few other women - to make a long story short, my best friend is his sister and they live together. She thought he was coming down with a cold, so when we went out and I got him some cold medicine. He ...
A. 8 September 2011: I think you do have a right to be pissed off that he lied, but not that he got you sick. I think you need to take a little more responsibility for your own health. I have stomach issues that make it dangerous if I catch the stomach flu, so I go way ... (read in full...)
Is my husband using me to be his nanny and housekeeper?
Q. I have been married to my husband for 6 years. we have two toddlers, one of whom is in preschool, the other one is too young still. I work part time in the evenings. My husband works days. I run the house, balance the checkbook, etc (I am in ...
A. 7 September 2011: Unfortunately despite the fact that this is 2011, women still do the vast majority of unpaid labor (housework, cooking, and childcare) in the majority of marriages, regardless of whether or not they work. The only way I see this stopping for your ... (read in full...)
Love and sex are 2 different things so is it ok to sleep with my cousin when I have a boyfriend?
Q. Hi, I am a girl and I slept couple of times with my cousin. We're not in love with eachother (at least I'm not, and he said he isn't either) but sometimes we still share a bed. Is that wrong? I recently got a boyfriend, but I have my doubts about ...
A. 7 September 2011: They're different, you're right. That's the good thing about relationships though, they combine the two in a way. If you've agreed to a monogamous relationship with your boyfriend, having sex with someone else is cheating (and therefore wrong) ... (read in full...)
Is there a cream that can make your hymen come back?
Q. My questions goes like this. Is there any cream that can restore back the hymen after sex? Having sex for the first time doesn't hurt.why is it so? And there were no Blood stain. Two to three fingers can enter into my virginal.does this mean ...
A. 7 September 2011: No you can't restore your hymen without expensive, painful, and dangerous surgery. Many women don't bleed their first time, it's very normal to have torn it sometime as a kid. You probably didn't even notice it happening. It's also normal to be able ... (read in full...)
Do ALL men really watch porn??
Q. I guess I should ask this as a curiousity question, aimed at men preferrably. Now, I have been on this site awhile and asked and answered a few questions. What I always hear on the topic of porn- ALL MEN WATCH PORN. Is this true? Now I will say...
A. 7 September 2011: Around 70% of men watch it regularly (defined as at least several times a year) according to the latest Kinsey survey, that's definitely not all. Your boyfriend could very well be telling the truth. Anyone who says all men watch porn is just trying ... (read in full...)
My crush is ignoring me!?
Q. So I'm in a totally frustrating situation with my crush right now! Before summer break, we would talk every day at school, and flirt like crazy (verbally, but I also read up on body language and he matched pretty much everything). Through the ...
A. 7 September 2011: Just say hi and ask him how his summer was and go from there. He might just be shy and worried that after a whole summer apart you don't like him either.... (read in full...)
I'm just scared in case this effective sperm donor tries to claim MY child.
Q. I had a one night stand with a stranger several years ago... shameful bad naughty me, i get it. It was my one act of stupid foolish wildness that prompted me to be a better person, to never be so silly no matter what life throws my way. I am not the ...
A. 7 September 2011: What makes you even think he will try to claim some kind of parental right? I think cutting contact with you the second he found out you were pregnant was a pretty good indicator that this guy has no interest in being any kind of parent. There is no ... (read in full...)
I don't usually date younger guys but I like this one. Shall I make an exception?
Q. So I like this guy...and I know for a fact that he likes me too..but he's a sophomore and I'm a senior...I've never even considered dating younger because of boys maturity levels in the first place. I've tried to reconsider because I do like him but ...
A. 6 September 2011: Age is almost always a terrible indicator of maturity. Why not get to know him a bit better and see if he seems mature? I know lots of guys in their 20's who act like children and lots of guys in high school able to act like adults.... (read in full...)
Can my girlfriend get pregnant if I ejaculate into her anally?
Q. Can my girlfriend get pregnant if I ejaculate into her anally?...
A. 6 September 2011: It could conceivably trickle down to her vagina, but it's pretty unlikely. However, even if she can't get pregnant and you're both STI free, you should use condoms for anal sex for sanitary reasons. It's just asking for a urinary tract infection ... (read in full...)
Is it weird that I want to role play as a guy even though I am a woman?
Q. Is it weird that i want to role play as a guy even though i am a woman? I'm bi so wanting to play a guy part is partly why i want to role play as a guy....
A. 6 September 2011: No I don't see why that would be any more weird than any other role playing fantasy. Certainly less weird than wanting your partner to dress up as a kid, which is fairly common.... (read in full...)
Could using a vaginal pessary have made me lose my virginity?
Q. Had a vagina infection and am a virgin. Had to use inserting tablet and while inserting it hurt and for 3 days i bleed but not much just litle patches in my pant. Am i still a virgin? ...
A. 6 September 2011: Virginity is a state of mind/spiritual/mental, not a physical thing. Only having penetrative sex can make you lose your virginity.... (read in full...)
We just have plain jane sex!
Q. hi, so, my boyfriend of a year has a wicked past of struggling between two women. His first gf was obsessive, controlling and mentally ill in some ways. His second was a normal girl, but he didn't ever love her. now, he's with me and i know he ...
A. 3 September 2011: This guy really sounds like trouble. Anyone who spends so much time badmouthing their exes is generally the one with the problems, not the people being badmouthed. They all were controlling and manipulative and such, what do they all have in common? ... (read in full...)
How do you give a hickey?
Q. Its a random question but how do you give hickeys/love bites? My friends told me all you do is suck on the skin but for how long? I tried giving my boyfriend one last night and Nothing happend. Seriously How do you like make them??...
A. 3 September 2011: You have to suck so hard it will probably hurt a little. Couldn't hurt to bite the area a bit first too. Takes at least 30 seconds, depending on how easily the person bruises. You're bruising them, so you have to suck pretty hard.... (read in full...)
Has anyone managed to stay in touch with their college friends?
Q. I'm quite depressed, I'm leaving for university in two weeks and last Saturday was the last time everyone i went to college with was together. It was the best send off that it upsets me that we're going separate ways. I know I'll love university and ...
A. 2 September 2011: Write real letters, send emails, facebook, text, there are so so so many ways to communicate now, use them (especially hand written letters). However, a word of caution. If you work too hard to maintain your old friendships, you will have trouble ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 2 September 2011: Actually Chigirl the majority of women hate it (55-60%) and only between 25-30% of women watch it and many of those only watch it with their partner, not alone. Some men do feel extremely upset about their female partners watching it, sometimes even ... (read in full...)
How can I show my boyfriend that his violence toward me is wrong?
Q. Dear Cupids, Please help! My boyfriend seems to think there is nothing wrong (technically) with pushing/shoving me and grabbing things out of my hands if he is angry. He also does this motion where he makes a fist and comes at me as though he will ...
A. 30 August 2011: This is domestic abuse. You don't need to show him that violence is wrong, you need to get help and get out of this relationship. People like this almost never change and his family will always side with him. I'm sorry you're going through this and ... (read in full...)
My child found a porn video!
Q. Please somebody help me I need urgent expert advice! I just walked in on my 6 year old son watching a porn dvd. The dvd was one my boyfriend gave me for a laugh lastweek, I tossed it in the back of a draw without looking. I left my son watching ...
A. 29 August 2011: Now that the cat's out of the bag the worst possible thing you can do is act ashamed or scared and ESPECIALLY do not act angry or punish him. It's hard, but you need to sit your son down and explain everything he just saw. Tell him you're not angry ... (read in full...)
We have a spark but he's a really busy guy. What do I do?
Q. I'm 18, he's 20. We've met up a few times and we've kissed on the last two meet ups. The 1st time we kissed, it was a simple kiss, which lasted around a minute. The 2nd time we kissed, we couldnt keep our lips off of each other. And he said that ...
A. 29 August 2011: Maybe, but if he can't put in the effort even really early on when there are still butterflies, what would it be like once you two got comfortable?... (read in full...)
How I can I work around my feelings so that I don't end up fired?
Q. Hello, I started a new job a little over a month ago. I love it a lot and definitely do not want to have to quit. However, I am extremely attracted to one of my managers ( the one that hired me no less!!) Whenever she's around I can feel my hea...
A. 29 August 2011: Try to not joke around about being in love with her and such, and try to just keep your distance. Sounds like she really likes you as a friend, but try to keep it that way unless she makes a move on you.... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 25 August 2011: Interesting choice of words below that women "let" themselves be hurt. No mention of partners who knowingly cause hurt. Feeling hurt is an involuntary function, extremely difficult to change. Hurting someone is a voluntary function, very easy to ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 24 August 2011: Nearly this exact question was just asked:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-some-women-feel-so-bad-if.html
But basically the majority of women do have a problem with it and that doesn't make them bad people or wrong. For those who sa... (read in full...)
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