A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Do I tell my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant? I'm 19 in a few days, he's 18 and we've been in a stable, loving relationship for 2 and a half years. I am on the pill and we use condoms everytime we have sex. I have been experiencing a lot of pregnancy symptoms - constant nausea, headaches, cramping, small amounts of dark blood which may be implantation bleeding etc. I'm very scared of buying and taking the pregnancy test(s) on my own and would love to have him there to support him. But a search on yahoo answers has revealed that the most common opinion is to find out for definite first. I don't want to go through this on my own when I could have the man I love there with me. Is that so wrong?
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be pregnant, condom, might be pregnant, pregnancy test, the pill Reply to this Question
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female
reader, bronniedavis +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Tell him...
Tell him you're not sure !! But you could be carrying his child ! And you two are clearly in love so what harm will there be if it turns out you're not pregnant !
I'm sure he'll be understanding and just as nervous as you ! And if it turns out you are and you both are over the moon, won't you be happy that in the end you got to share that moment with him ??
I completely understand needing him there, you're scared ! Its normal :) xx
Just tell him :)
A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Do you also need him with you if you go to your doctors when sick? Do you need him with you when you go to the dentist? Do you need him with you when you... you get my point. You're a big girl, and there's nothing scary about peeing on a stick, and you're perfectly capable of doing it. What "support" would he be able to give anyway? I doubt you'd want him there with you watching you pee on the stick!
If you want him around when you take the test, in case you are pregnant, here's how you do it without freaking him out:
Make it casual. You invite him over for a date at home/ he will come pick you up etc. Before he arrives you buy the test. Once he arrives you say you'll be right back, you just want to take the pregnancy test you bought, because you're a responsible girl who wants to make sure she isn't pregnant (which is good in itself). Then you drop by the bathroom, do the deed, and wait for the results while you wash your hands (takes around 2 minutes). Then he'll be right there for you to tell the result, without having him freaked out about it.
OR, you could invite him to come over, then ask if he'd be a darling and drop by the pharmacy for you and pick up a pregnancy test (partially his responsibility anyway), because you're a responsible girl who wants to make sure she isn't pregnant, out of precautions. Then when he arrives you do your test and report the result. No mentioning you imagining you might be pregnant, ok! Tests first, before you jump to conclusions over symptoms that are just as likely an indication of you being stressed out.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): If you are mature enough to have sex and get on the pill, you can certainly take a pregnancy test on your own before you create a lot of chaos and turmoil over something that may not even be the case! You had to get the birth control from a doctor so make another appointment to see if your pregnant or buy a kit from the pharmacy.
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A
female
reader, Lolly_Poll +, writes (14 September 2011):
I had a similar scare, and went through it alone. Found out by myself, and it was awful! Knowing that the one man I love wasn't there. As it turns out, it was just stress, totally nothing to worry about! I told him afterwards, and he said he'd have preferred to have been with me, a team, that do things together :) x
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A
female
reader, RedAthena  +, writes (14 September 2011):
 If you have been using your birth control and condoms as prescribed, it is unlikely you would be pregnant.
Your symptoms could be related to taking the pill. My advice is that you tell your bf you are having these symptoms and are going to a Dr. to address it. You might need a different medication or dosage.
Get some peace and take a home test to clear your head.
You do not need to hide anything, but stay calm. No need to add any undo stress on yourself or your bf.
Approach the situation calmly, see a Dr. and get some facts.
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A
female
reader, butterfliesarefree +, writes (14 September 2011):
As said chances are it is just symptoms from your pill. But 2.5 years is a long term relationship and you should be able to discuss these things together afterall he's the reason you're in this situation
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 September 2011):
 Since you've been on the pill, so long as you've been taking it correctly, it's far more likely that what you're experiencing are symptoms from your pill than from pregnancy. Given that you're both on the pill and using condoms, the chances that you could be pregnant are astronomically low. Being on the pill causes spotting for many women, and headaches and nausea are also very common side-effects, as is breast swelling. These are all also "symptoms" of pregnancy. You also wouldn't be feeling pregnancy symptoms for at least a few weeks after you had sex. If you had said you missed your period I'd be saying something different.
In order to get an accurate reading on a pregnancy test generally you have to wait until your first missed period (though some early response tests can do about 5 days beforehand). You should wait to see if you skip your next period before assuming the worst.
However, in reference to talking to your boyfriend, anyone who says a woman needs to deal with the entire stress of a possible pregnancy alone is a fool. Correct me if I'm wrong, but last I checked women don't spontaneously become pregnant all on their own. If you have to deal with the stress of thinking you're pregnant he should be helping given that he was an equal participant. If you're comfortable enough with him to be having sex with him you should be comfortable enough to be talking to him about the possibility of negative outcomes from said sex.
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