A
male
age
51-59,
*izeQuestions
writes:I have a troubling issue in my marriage. To get right to the point, it has to do with penis size and my wife's perception. I am about 5.75 by 5 around and I always thought fairly average. When my wife and I talk it is clear that she thinks my penis is more on the smaller side. She has been around before we were married and claimed most guys had bigger. I think most were one night stands according to her. She regrets her earlier actions but still seems convinced I fall short,This is absolutely ruining my marriage. I cant get this out of my head. I don't know what to do. I have honestly looked at the numbers and tried to be real honest and honest with myself and it does seem that I am in the average range. I am sick of trying to convince her. This is sucking the life out of me. I am not sure what to do or how to get past this.
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male
reader, gear +, writes (15 April 2012):
Its a give and take...and the biggest kicker in sex that its not about the man....you can have ready to explode just by the way you touch her body...I am about same size of a jelly surprise.. would my wife be happier if i was thicker? SURE...I am a sex freak,there is nothing i had rather see than my wife getting off 3-4 times during sex...that is what i get off on...
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): HI, I just wanted to say as a girl of experience that you are a little bit small. Not very samll, not at all large but a little bit on the small side. I'm not saying this to be mean I'm saying that the average is between 5-7inches with 6inch being the mean value for most studies on penis length which puts you below that at 5.75inches you are just shy of the 6incaverage and therefore slightly below average but within the limits of the normal standard diviation (you are not statistically abnormal, just a little smaller than average) it would be like being a guy who is 5ft9 when the average height is 5ft10 thats all an average is by deffinition a value at which half the population are smaller than and the other half are larger than. But I can tell you the good news talk to your girlfriend and be very honest about what you want and I expect she would do the same, if shes a nice person or in anyway in love with you an issue such as size is unimportant as your underaverage manhood can and will satisfy her your problem lies in the fact that you 'aint gunna be winning any locker room cock contests and I seriously believe that your problems lie in your head. by the way my largest partner was 11inches and my smallest was 2.5inches and i didn't like either my current has a gorgoeus 4.75inch and fairly skinny cock that I love hes a little less than you and satisfies me offten i can climax and even multiple orgasm with his, very small size so just bear that in mind. Hope this helps even a little =]
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2011): Tell her you used to get off a lot more with tighter women.
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male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Buy her one of those toobig for words "marital aids' and see what she does with it.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): "But two wrongs don't make a right"Keep that in mind.Your wife is messed up in the head somewhere about intimacy.Sex that is great, because of great intimacy, doesn't lack because of penis size, vagina size, breast size, hair color, height, etc, etc, etc.Sex that is great, is great, simply because of great and durable intimacy.You have problems that go far beyond your penis into both of your heads.If you want this marriage, if she wants this marriage, then you need a counselor. If you don't get help, this will rot
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male
reader, Daniel the love doctor +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Even though you have an average size penis, there is no reason your WIFE (someone who is suppose to love you no matter what) is telling you these things. She is a bit of a size queen. And I agree with a lot of my fellow commenters points- and I believe that's she's very inconsiderate, rude, and potentially insecure about herself- so she needs to put someone else down. Now normally I would recommend doing safe, natural penis exercises to increase your penis size, but I don't think that you should be doing them because of her comments. You should be doing them for you, and your well-being. I hope that you work out this issue with her for the sake of your marriage. Go to marriage/couples counseling, have talks with her to better your relationship/sex life, and work on being the best man that you could be in and out of the bedroom. Wishing you the best!
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male
reader, GRIFF TANNEN +, writes (9 September 2011):
 Good lord what a woman, like you can do anything about it. Tell her that you'll head down to the local retailer and exchange it for larger size deluxe model
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): try introducing a dildo to your sex play. Not always, but it can be a nice adjunct and allow her to experience something longer and thicker. You can do the pumping of it, etc. This can work well if you both approach it for what it is. My husband is longer and thicker than you, but I still love to occasionally feel something even bigger and this works for us.
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female
reader, tennisstar88 +, writes (9 September 2011):
 How long have you been married?
Is this the first time this statement has come up? Because it doesn't seem correct for her to always have an issue with your size, then carry on to marry you when she's not completely sexually satisfied.
Do you two have regular sex? I mean if she makes a statement about your size then continues sex with you then I'd say she's satisfied and is going to keep on taking what she is getting. Reason why I asked is women who have a real issue with size don't carry on to have sex with that particular male...because the sex does absolutely nothing for them.
Aside from this, is there anymore issues in the marriage?
I think part of the problem stems from you having inquired about her previous sexual partners..your insecurity started there, then is confirmed when she made that statement.
SOLUTIONS: Apart from undergoing surgery to elongate your member, you can try your best to let it go. Or consider a separation or divorce since it seems you two have serious issues in the bedroom.
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (9 September 2011):
 My niece says that her impression is that you're a great guy and your wife is trying to find an excuse to be angry.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 September 2011): Admitting she's had bigger is no big deal. I'd appreciate the honesty myself. But saying she is not as satisfied as she would be with a bigger one...that's just cruel. Either she is ridiculously shallow, objectifies sex, has been a bit delusional or there are real problems brewing. A loving woman, even if she DID prefer bigger, would not object to an average penis on a man she loved. Small, yes. Average, no...and you are squarely in the average zone.I have met women before who genuinely did only have partners before, sometimes many, who were all on the large side. One girl I hooked up with had been with 7 guys, all who were about 7" or larger. Needless to say, I was a bit ego-bruised with my 6 incher. Likewise, my current GF was with a 9 incher before me, but says I'm the best, not the smallest by far, and that she can't get enough of me OR my penis. THe common thing with them all is they NEVER said anytihng like your wife is. If they did, I would probably dump them. How on earth did you manage to get married with this skeleton in the closet?
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female
reader, curiousandconfused +, writes (8 September 2011):
What the hell context is she bringing this up in?Don't let her destroy your self-esteem.I went through a "size matters" period but that was with boyfriends who were mostly only into intercourse, but I have to tell you that I recently had a lover and it wasn't the intercourse that did it for me...he was the most exciting lover I ever had. He was rough and soft and threw me around; a passionate kisser - he really enjoyed himself and knew all my spots and loved and explored my entire body...we didn't have intercourse a lot because he was under a lot of stress at work but we thoroughly enjoyed each other - I'd never had so much fun and passion with anyone else. I have to dump him for other reasons and it's going to be really hard to stay away from him - he was like crack cocaine to me and this was with very little intercourse.And you don't have a small penis by the way...you're either average or slightly above average...is she comparing you to elephants?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (8 September 2011):
 sounds to me like she is TRYING to hurt you... the issue is WHY?
Personally as a small-in-stature woman I can say that you would be damn PERFECT for me. too big hurts.. and I much don't care for penetration anyway...
I love my partner. His penis is average... barely and it's perfect. NO MAN has ever satisfied me with just his penis however and that's NORMAL and COMMON.... for me love and satisfaction is not about the actual act of penetration and I cannot convince my man of this... it's frustrating to me...
I would never ever let him know that I'm not satisfied sexually... even if I'm not... that's NOT his responsibility... my orgasms are MY RESPONSIBILITY and I quietly take care of them on my own... the loving I get from him is awesome and wonderful but it's not a deal breaker one way or the other...
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male
reader, Danielepew +, writes (8 September 2011):
Something is the matter with the marriage. Let us just say that she saw your penis the first time you had sex, and yet she married you. It's a little late to complain, I would say.
Between you and me, I have the feeling that whatever problems you have, they can't be fixed.
Now, if she's resorting to such low blows, ask her how come Dolly Parton has ´em watermelons. Then open your edition of "Big'Uns" (as good ol' Al Bundy would do) and ask her how come those girls look like that and she looks like... what?
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male
reader, Yos  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Ugh how awful she said that. Exactly how to make a guy feel terrible.
Your penis is totally normal size by the way.
She owes you a huge apology and some understanding.
Otherwise it's the area that cindycares is talking about: tell her she has a big vagina. But two wrongs don't make a right.
She needs to decide she's ok with you: otherwise this is not going to change.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Ask her what exactly she expects you to do about it.
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): My God, what is wrong with this woman?
You are slap bang in the middle of perfectly normal.
And anyhow, she ought to love you for who you are. She ought also to love that part of your anatomy.
Sorry - don't feel very sympathetic towards her. I think it is appalling of her to undermine you like this. She sounds pretty stupid to me - I mean, how are you supposed to react? How are you supposed to feel ok? Ask her that, maybe.
Or just say 'ok - fine - you don't want me - I will find someone else'.
If you really do want to keep her, send her on some course or for some counselling. She needs to understand what is important in life.
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male
reader, serenity80  +, writes (8 September 2011):
So you questioned her about the size of her previous partners penis sizes, and now you're feeling insecure because she has had bigger? How utterly stupid of you to ask her such private things.
Unless you are much smaller than average guys then I can't see why she would be complaining about your size. That's pretty nasty of her. This is something you should have sorted out before you got married.
You need to put this issue behind you, and give it a chance to fade away in your memory. It's the only way. There is no other way, because you're never going to be able to change the past, or the size of your penis.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 September 2011):
 That's so incredibly insensitive. She's obviously trying to be mean/make you feel bad, do you have any ideas why? Recent arguments, etc...?
I think you need to sit her down for an awkward talk and ask her why she has been being so mean and purposefully making you feel bad. Tell her you know you are average sized, that you weren't insecure until she started randomly telling you that you should be. My guess is there's more to it than what's on the surface, though I'm not entirely sure what.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): I personally think it is very mean of her to say such a thing. Men are sensitive to this subject, and I highly doubt she can remember every size of every one and determin yours is smaller. That's like saying you remember what you had for breakfast three years ago... It's stupid.
What I think her problem is has nothing to do with your size, but her size. Women stretch out down there, (especially if you've had kids, but even just due to getting older.) So it can be harder to reach the same climax as in her younger years. Instead of attacking your anatomy, perhaps the two of you should discuss others ways to help her along.
But she really does need to drop this issue.
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female
reader, dmartin89 +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Hang on, was it a factual statement or an admittance that she isn't sexually satisfied?
Sure, you might be smaller than other guys. Is she complaining about it? If she is then I don't believe it has much to do with the penis.
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 When it's stats and numbers you don't need to convince anybody, check every existing study about penis sizes,ask any doctor , and they will say that yes, you are average. It's like wanting to convince her that 2 plus 2 makes 4.
If she has been around a lot and ALL the guys had a bigger penis, that means a) that she does not remember correctly, because statistically speaking that's very improbable or b) that she insists on her version because for reasons of hers, she likes to get your goat ( since apparently this is a sensitive subject for you )
Solutions ? : Ignore the issue, do not bring up the subject again. Or if SHE does, tell her that ALL the women you have been with were way tighter than her, this may quiet her down.
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male
reader, SizeQuestions +, writes (8 September 2011):
SizeQuestions is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTo clarify, she admits to being satisfied but not as well as she could be given penis size. She said sex is great but lacks because of size. This is how the questioning started. So, yes, she said satisfied, but not as much as she could be with a "normal" or better size penis.
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female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Wait, what is the argument about? Is this a matter strictly about what you or her judge to be an average size for a penis or not? If so it is easy to look at the statistics, no need to convince her. And you win. Yes, you're average!
But, is this just about whether or not you are average? Is she not pleased sexually perhaps? Is that why she brings this up?
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