| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Why are people disgusted by prostitution, but acceptant of celebrities that are basically just high class prostitutes?
Q. This is just an out of the blue question really, something that often confuses me when I see questions or comments on the subject of prostitutes and related subjects. I do not by any means agree with prostitution, what baffles me though, is peoples ...
A. 28 October 2011: I'm just going to put in my usual statistics on this:
Between 70-90% of prostituted women experienced sexual abuse prior to entering.
68% of prostituted women suffer from PTSD.
1 in 500 prostituted women are murdered.
Over 50% of... (read in full...)
Why are people disgusted by prostitution, but acceptant of celebrities that are basically just high class prostitutes?
Q. This is just an out of the blue question really, something that often confuses me when I see questions or comments on the subject of prostitutes and related subjects. I do not by any means agree with prostitution, what baffles me though, is peoples ...
A. 27 October 2011: Many prostituted women call it pay per rape. Celebrities live the most glamorous well-paid lifestyles I can think of. Anyone who thinks they are remotely the same clearly does not understand the reality of prostitution. According to you a ... (read in full...)
I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!
Q. I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...
A. 23 October 2011: Good for you! What a misogynistic piece of crap this guy is.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cant stop looking at porn and explicit pictures, and lies to me about it! How should I handle this?
Q. Okay, so in the recent past I've had some troubles with my bf of nearly 2 1/2 yrs looking at porn and having explicit pictures of girls on his phone. For ages I knew and didn't say anything. Until one day I asked does he watch porn and he said no. I ...
A. 21 October 2011: Also the idea that men are hardwired to spread their seed has been debunked by sheer mathematics. Any random sexual encounter has only a 1% chance of producing a viable offspring (including the chance of fertilization at a random time in her cycle, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cant stop looking at porn and explicit pictures, and lies to me about it! How should I handle this?
Q. Okay, so in the recent past I've had some troubles with my bf of nearly 2 1/2 yrs looking at porn and having explicit pictures of girls on his phone. For ages I knew and didn't say anything. Until one day I asked does he watch porn and he said no. I ...
A. 21 October 2011: As someone who has dedicated roughly a year of my life to researching the topic/volunteering on this, interviewing people, reading through every study I could, talking to every expert in the field that I could, writing numerous articles for ... (read in full...)
He said if I ever fell pregnant he would leave me if I didn't get an abortion.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, we plan to have a future together, have even spoken about marriage and kids, but kids would be at least 10 years away. (I know sometimes relatioships don't work out, but we do have a good ...
A. 21 October 2011: "A woman's promise to her partner that she would have an abortion should be legally non-negotiable after the fact. This would not "oppress" women. It would just put women into more like the same position than men are in."
If you don't see the prob... (read in full...)
Leaking bladder problems
Q. Ever since i was little, i always had a bladder problem. Where I accidently leak in my underwear and no matter what I do, it always happens...i can hold my bladder and tell when to go, but i "tinkle" and it is quite embrassing, especially when I'm ...
A. 21 October 2011: You'd have to go see a doctor. They have things they can prescribe. I mean it's pretty common to occasionally leak a bit if you laugh/cough/sneeze really hard, but if it's happening a lot a doctor should be able to prescribe something help. You ... (read in full...)
He won't let me see his facebook page because I snooped when we were broken up!
Q. I snooped in my boyfriends facebook account months ago when we were broken up.we're back together now but he wont add me back on his friend list.he said i dont deserve it because of when i snooped.he said he will put that he is in a relationship as ...
A. 21 October 2011: I think you should consider just ending things. He doesn't trust you, you don't trust him. If you can't start over with a clean slate there is no point in starting over. I assume there's a reason too that you snooped. If you're going to get back ... (read in full...)
He said if I ever fell pregnant he would leave me if I didn't get an abortion.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, we plan to have a future together, have even spoken about marriage and kids, but kids would be at least 10 years away. (I know sometimes relatioships don't work out, but we do have a good ...
A. 20 October 2011: @male anon: First off, it's different to discuss/find out for sure that a woman would get an abortion than to threaten her into it. He is also free to explain why he wants her to get an abortion or not, to offer whatever opinion if she does get ... (read in full...)
Can it really be so weird for a guy to sleep with his pregnant woman?
Q. I am currently 26 weeks pregnant. I have not gained any weight but my belly has grown seeing how there is a baby in there lol. I've been with my boy friend who is the father for two years. Over the past couple weeks I've noticed our sex life is ...
A. 20 October 2011: Why would he cheat? He equally chose that he wanted a baby, he himself was the one who doesn't want to have sex in his willing wife, any guy who would cheat in that situation is just downright a horrible human being, which I'm sure your guy is not. ... (read in full...)
He said I could console him with sex!
Q. Hi. This guy I kind of know (we had a little 'thing' a while ago) is going through a really tough time at the moment as his mum has just passed away. I feel so sad for him and I asked if there was anything I could do, and he wants me to stay the ...
A. 20 October 2011: No, don't do it. He's being totally selfish. He wants to use you as a physical coping mechanism, basically something warm to masturbate into and cuddle. This won't help anything long term, it will barely do anything even short term (on the level of ... (read in full...)
Her dad caught us in a compromsing situation, now I'm worried about how awkward its going to be when I meet him properly!
Q. I have been dating a girl for a few months now, we are both 22 yrs old. She is a complete daddys girl and always talks about how over protective her dad is. At the very beginning of our relationship I spent the night and when I was leaving in the ...
A. 20 October 2011: He could have punched you right then, but he didn't. He could have yelled at his daughter to dump you, but he didn't. He could refuse to acknowledge your presence, but he is going out of his way to meet you. Yes he gave a horrible look, but it was ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cant stop looking at porn and explicit pictures, and lies to me about it! How should I handle this?
Q. Okay, so in the recent past I've had some troubles with my bf of nearly 2 1/2 yrs looking at porn and having explicit pictures of girls on his phone. For ages I knew and didn't say anything. Until one day I asked does he watch porn and he said no. I ...
A. 20 October 2011: First myths below: All men use porn. 70% of men use porn regularly. Not all. Anyone saying all men use porn is trying to normalize their own use and remove personal responsibility. As in, since all men use porn, no man could possibly be expe... (read in full...)
He said if I ever fell pregnant he would leave me if I didn't get an abortion.
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year, we plan to have a future together, have even spoken about marriage and kids, but kids would be at least 10 years away. (I know sometimes relatioships don't work out, but we do have a good ...
A. 20 October 2011: I am completely with ChiGirl on this. Of course you got angry/took the other side because your boyfriend was being an immature little brat. I'm not sure what he would hope to accomplish by dumping you. Then not only does he forfeit his rights to ... (read in full...)
Is is possible to have a 4th c section if you want?
Q. Is it possible to have another baby after you have undergone three c sections - first one was an emergency and the child died a few days after birth, the second was an emergency though was awake and thankfully she is alive, third one was an elective ...
A. 20 October 2011: You need to speak to a doctor. A c-section is major abdominal surgery so it's certainly recommended that you have fewer rather than more major surgeries and as someone said, each time you do the surgery the risk increases.... (read in full...)
Is my penis normal?
Q. i need to know if my penis is normal its is a little bit dark and has a weird patch does that matter?...
A. 20 October 2011: If by weird patch you means warts, tumors, blisters, sores, anything oozing, painful, or oddly colored then no that's not normal. I think most guys have a penis that's a little darker than the rest of their skin, but I'm not sure how you expect ... (read in full...)
Was he just really enjoying it or should I go easy on him next time?
Q. While recently giving a blow job to this guy, I felt he started to tremble and shiver vigorously. After he came in my mouth and we were done, he did exclaim that he could hardly stand then and sat down. Wanted to know if it is because he is ...
A. 20 October 2011: I don't think there is such a thing as an orgasm that was too strong. There's good orgasms and then there are great orgasms. Clearly that was in the latter category.... (read in full...)
Army wives and girlfriends - do they ALL cheat when soldiers are deployed?
Q. I am in th army and I leave for deployment in less then 3 weeks. My current girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 10 months, we have a great relationship. This will the first time either one of us will eb dating someone who is deployed. a few ...
A. 19 October 2011: Of course not, just like not all men who go off in the army cheat on their wives.... (read in full...)
My wife's old journal mentioned sex with her ex and now my imagination is making me jealous
Q. I was wondering if you could answer a couple of questions: I recently found my wife's journal, and of course I should have put it down but I read part of it and she had a section in there about sex with her Ex... She was quoted as saying "I have ...
A. 19 October 2011: Most stuff in porn looks painful, awkward, degrading, and uncomfortable. For most women, that is not what good or even acceptable sex looks like. The vast majority of women can't even orgasm from penetration, especially not the kind where a girl is ... (read in full...)
Why are people disgusted by prostitution, but acceptant of celebrities that are basically just high class prostitutes?
Q. This is just an out of the blue question really, something that often confuses me when I see questions or comments on the subject of prostitutes and related subjects. I do not by any means agree with prostitution, what baffles me though, is peoples ...
A. 19 October 2011: You're asking about a lot of very complicated issues mired in sexism and misogyny. It's also extreme offensive to equate the two. Prostituted women have to put up with extreme levels of violence and many are raped and/or beaten, many have also suf... (read in full...)
Left my fiancé today because I found out about 7 dating websites on his computer....
Q. Dear Cupid, I would truly appreciate a reply to my question. I am 28 years old and my fiancé is 26 years old. I even spoke with my mother this morning regarding this issue. Last Sunday I went to my fiancé's house as we normally spend our w...
A. 19 October 2011: Since it's a shared computer you should check the time/dates and confirm it's really him. Normally I'd say the "it was my brother/sister/cat" story is just bs, but this time there's actually a chance it's true.
If it really is him though, you did ... (read in full...)
If both people in the relationship are virgins, can you still contract STD's?
Q. Hey so i was just wondering if both people in the relationship are virgins, can you still contract STD's?...
A. 19 October 2011: It's incredibly rare. It's possible, but so rare it's not worth worrying about unless either of you have shared needles with other people or had parents with HIV.... (read in full...)
B/f wants to give me oral sex but I feel insecure about it
Q. Hi :) So just wanted to talk about a problem im having and hope you guys can offer some reassurance.. Iv been dating a guy for about 3 months now and its all going great. we've been sleeping together for about a month now and really care about ...
A. 18 October 2011: Some men really like the taste and smell. That smell contains high levels of pheromones (sex hormones). Trust him when he says he wants to do it. Some guys hate it, some will do it to be nice, but some truly do just really like it.
If you're s... (read in full...)
Honest opinions: Are all boys like this over oral sex or is he out of order?
Q. hi, have been with my bf for 5 years. we are both 26. we keep on having the same arguement ALL the time its regarding oral sex and we he nearly finished our relationship over it a couple of weeks ago. bjs are really important to him but i re...
A. 18 October 2011: He is being incredibly cruel here. You're being selfless by doing something you don't like to do to make him happy and he's being a self-centered jerk here. I think this relationship sounds borderline emotionally abusive. You say you really didn't ... (read in full...)
Do I have anything to be worried about? How can I confront her without letting on that I snooped?
Q. Okay, so I've been dating this girl for about 5 months. We live together now and everything. We've had very little problems so far and everything has been amazing. I'm a very insecure person because I've been cheated on in the past - and this ...
A. 18 October 2011: The problem here is not her, it's you. She should not have lied, but from everything you've said in this question you would have blown up at her and gotten upset for meeting her guy friend. I don't think anything happened at all.
I think you are ... (read in full...)
Why is my fiance trying to look different?
Q. Ever since we got engaged, my fiance has been trying to look different. While I want her to have all the freedom she wants (I don't want to be controlling), She is no longer recognizable to the attractive, beautiful woman she was. She used ...
A. 18 October 2011: Why don't you try telling her? It sounds like she may have developed a severe body image problem and may want to consider talking to a therapist.... (read in full...)
Could he have food poisoning?
Q. Hi, my bf has been going to the bathroom every 5-10 mins. He has been cramping and every time he eats it's hurts his stomach and basically feels like he have to use the bathroom constantly. It's loose stool only a bit. It's been going on almost 2 ...
A. 18 October 2011: While it's possible for food poisoning to last 2 weeks, it's unlikely and could mean that he needs antibiotics to clear it. More likely is that he has a stomach issue like IBS that flared up. Again, he needs to go to the doctor.... (read in full...)
How much did you regret not losing your virginity to your husband/wife?
Q. Did you regret not losing your virginity to the person you're married to? How much? I'm torn between waiting until marriage (for religious and mostly nonreligious reasons) and just going for it with whoever I feel like. But I don't want to one day ...
A. 17 October 2011: I lost it at 16 to a friend with benefits, met my current boyfriend who I plan to stay with/marry at 19 and mostly don't regret not waiting. There's a little tiny amount of something, but not enough that I really give it much thought (only when ... (read in full...)
Ladies: How can you tell exactly when you ovulate?
Q. Hey all, Firstly, this post is for other women out there. Men may find it disturbing. I'm 28, almost 29. I have polycystic ovary syndrome, well, I have symptoms of PCOS (chin hair, inbalanced hormones levels etc). My gyno diagnosed me with...
A. 17 October 2011: I second baby comp. I've heard amazing things about it both as a way to get pregnant and to definitely not get pregnant.
And you're dead on about the discharge, the first two days of extremely heavy discharge generally signals the release of an eg... (read in full...)
How many men think sex isn't good unless a BJ in involved?
Q. How many of men consider that sex is not good without blowjob? Is intercourse alone not enough to satisfy a man? How many women would perform oral sex on a stable partner vs a casual sexual encounter?...
A. 17 October 2011: I can only speak for my boyfriend but he'd take intercourse over a blow job any time.... (read in full...)
Personality vs looks?
Q. Hi, So I was wondering... Is personality or physical attraction more important? Any thoughts would be appreciated!...
A. 17 October 2011: Both are important, but don't forget that while looks fade, a personality is somewhat forever. If a relationship is only based on looks, it can't really last. You need to be able to take care of each other and be there for each other and make each ... (read in full...)
She used to be a dancer, but I proposed anyway
Q. Recently, my girlfriend told me that she used to be Striptease Dancer gour years back. She remained in that professional for one year before dumped it once she fell in love with me. We are together since July 2008. Even before she told me, two ...
A. 17 October 2011: Yes of course you made the right decision! She loves you and you love her and she quit her job to be with you because you mean more than that job! She most likely did it because she really needed the money. You made the right choice.... (read in full...)
I told him about my past, he went silent and now wont speak to me until he has 'forgiven me'!
Q. I need some help. When I was 12, i was quite badly raped and beaten to within an inch of my life (I was in ICU for the following 2/3 months afterwards.) I did not open up to anyway and I still remain that way (like, i will jump if anyone touches me, ...
A. 17 October 2011: Any man who thinks a woman needs to be forgiven is someone you need to get rid of immediately. What you went through is horrible and the fact that he would react in any way except to comfort you and be patient with you shows that he is a ... (read in full...)
Thinking of losing it with a friend
Q. Hey everyone. I feel like my problem is a but out of the oridnary, but here goes. I'm 17 and a senior in high school. I'm also a virgin. I've had boyfriends before, but it just never happened. Anyway, my best friend (boy) is still a virgin too. ...
A. 17 October 2011: I think your reasons for it are not very good. You're both just acting out the plot of American Pie. I have no problems with friends having sex, even losing their virginity to each other. Heck that's how I lost mine. However, there's a world of ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get some alone time? Or do I have to just wait?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for quite a while now, and we're both highschool seniors. I have a super strict mom and stepdad, and we can only give eachother a few kisses on the lips and hugs, thats it. Door stays open if we're in my r...
A. 17 October 2011: Hmmm idea number two, find a friend to explain the situation to and ask if you can borrow some space at their house or something. Also if you have a car, drive to a secluded place. Go for a walk to find a good make-out spot, like off a walking path ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to get some alone time? Or do I have to just wait?
Q. Me and my boyfriend have been going out for quite a while now, and we're both highschool seniors. I have a super strict mom and stepdad, and we can only give eachother a few kisses on the lips and hugs, thats it. Door stays open if we're in my r...
A. 17 October 2011: Why do you have to be at your parents' houses? Why can't you go make out in a movie theater or something? So long as the clothes stay on and it's not a crowded theater, it should be OK. But if you want to go further I suppose you may have to wait.... (read in full...)
Will no contact work? To see if we miss each other or are better off ending the relationship? She is resistent to the idea.
Q. Been dating same girl for 4.5 years now. We dont live together and dont have children. Over last 2 years we have grown apart. Today we had a long talk and we both agreed we need time apart from each other. We decided a month of no contact would be...
A. 16 October 2011: Basically it sounds like the both of you are ready to move on, but scared to actually take the plunge and break up. It's scary to leave the comfort of a long term relationship, but it sounds like that's what you're both ready to do and what you both ... (read in full...)
How can I tell my boyfriend that I've lost our baby?
Q. I was 8 weeks pregnant until 2 days ago I lost the baby. Inside I feel so sad and desperately lonely. This is because I dont know how to tell my boyfriend I have lost our baby. I am in a LDR with my bf whos in the military. We have been togeth...
A. 16 October 2011: i'm sorry you had a miscarriage, that must be incredibly hard to go through alone. However, I am with aunt_honesty on this one. It sounds like your relationship was rocky at best and a baby would only strain it further, not fix it.
The very fac... (read in full...)
Unprotected sex and now I'm worrying if I caught something!
Q. I had unprotected sex 16 days ago. The guy it was with took off the condom without my knowledge for a couple seconds (I was furious!) but I asked if he had any STD's and he said no. I have an appointment to be tested on Monday. As of day 10 after ...
A. 16 October 2011: Most likely a yeast infection from the symptoms. It's unlikely if you had caught something symptoms would show this quickly. The only thing you can do to be sure is get tested. It's unlikely you caught anything, especially if he didn't finish with ... (read in full...)
Instead of looking for a job he's looking for escourts and transgenders. How do I leave him when I am penniless?
Q. I am so confused. I live the "perfect family lie," as I am a stay at home mom with 2 kids, one in school and one infant. Lately things have gone down hill majorly. My husband, who before the baby came, and still LOVES my first child, but I some...
A. 15 October 2011: Unless you signed a prenup he would most likely be required to give you a good portion of his money. That's a large reason why there is division of the assets in a divorce, so that husband lacks this kind of power over a stay at home mom/wife. If ... (read in full...)
Should I be worried? Her reasons are my snoring? my sadness is no intimacy. My wife and I haven't shared a bed in six years.
Q. My wife and I sleep in separate bedrooms. We have been married for 19 years and this started about 6 years ago. Before that time, we always spent the night together. In fact, I can remember once when my wife was away at her mom's in another ...
A. 15 October 2011: A LOT more couples than you think sleep in different bedrooms. In fact sharing a bed makes fairly little sense for actual sleeping. In general, women have more trouble sharing a bed/sleeping with someone else than men do. You have to be a little ... (read in full...)
We are virtual friends and Sext. Should I tell his new girlfriend about us? He says we do the things his Gf is too shy to do.
Q. dear cupid, soo, there's this guy that i met in college back in december of last year. for most of that time, me and him have kind of been...well, i guess a good term for it would be "virtual friends with benefits." basically, we sext (without pi...
A. 15 October 2011: Don't tell her, just stop talking to him at all and move on. You are essentially the other woman in this scenario.... (read in full...)
Nine pm curfew still at almost 19! Is this reasonable? the restrictions are stifling me
Q. So, I'm 18 going on 19 and still living at home, trying to finish my freshman year of college and I have a 9'o clock curfew still. I don't know what to do. I can't even use my vehicle without their permission which means I can't go out with my ...
A. 15 October 2011: You are legally an adult, you can somewhat do whatever the heck you want (so long as it's legal). Here's the thing though, if your parents are paying for you to live at home, you have to follow their rules. If your parents are paying for your car ... (read in full...)
Is my snoring likely to cause a problem when I move in with my boyfriend? Can anything be done to fix it?
Q. Is it annoying if a girl snores? I had my tonsils removed as a kid, but I recently realized that I still snore! Usually when my nose is stuffy, like after my eyes water, or if I'm anywhere near cats... Me and my boyfriend plan on moving in ...
A. 15 October 2011: There are definitely ways around it. You can start with nose strips to see if that helps at all. My step-dad snored so loudly the house shook (seriously). They make these weird little steam machine things you can wear that stop snoring, especially ... (read in full...)
He says his love is so pure that he cant even imagine me naked!
Q. Hey everyone, i need help. I am totally perplexed in this relationship of two years with this guy. He says that he loves me. I know that very well. I love him too. But i think, may be he loves me too much, far beyond my imagination. He is a nice...
A. 14 October 2011: Well some people actually feel like imagining other people naked is somehow a violation of their being. My current partner feels this way and the way we got around it was for me to "consent" to his fantasizing about me. My guess is it's not an issue ... (read in full...)
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