| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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B/f says he doesn't watch porn anymore but won't get rid of his collection!
Q. Hey there, So my bf and I have been together for about 9 months, and our relationship is great, sex is great, and we're pretty much best friends. I was just curious about his watching porn, so we talked about it. I'm not opposed to porn necessar...
A. 5 October 2011: It does unfortunately sound like he's lying about watching it.... (read in full...)
He lied, I'm hurt, and he doesn't care. How do I handle this situation?
Q. My boyfriend and i have recently had our 4 year anniverary, and i've known for 3 years that he watches porn, and it bugs me a lot. i have told him, and he just says its not a big deal and gets mad if i bring it up again. that is not the worst part...
A. 5 October 2011: "he just says its not a big deal"
He does not get to decide what is important to you. This is a bid deal to you and his flippant dismissal of it is absolutely not OK. Next time he says you're overreacting, give him these statistics:
More than 50%... (read in full...)
LDR--Going to see b/f and want to make it more exciting
Q. My bf and I are long distance. Usually, he comes to my town and spends a week with me about once a month but since he went back to school, it's harder for him to do that and so, I'm going to his city for a night this weekend. We're going to rent a ...
A. 5 October 2011: Here's how to make it truly special: show up! My guess is you'll both be so excited to see each other you don't need lingerie to be "spicy." Though a bottle of bubbly would probably be fun. I think getting a hotel room is already pretty special. I'd ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend gives me the silent treatment and I don't know how to deal with it
Q. Hye, I'm 25 and is currently in a relationship with my girlfriend for a year who's a year younger..we're both still studying but at different colleges...the thing is i'm a very sensitive guy (in a bad way), even if she doesn't reply my texts or ...
A. 5 October 2011: Getting upset at a long response time for a text is incredibly clingy. It doesn't mean she doesn't care or doesn't love you, it probably means she's at school, or with friends, or in the shower, or eating, or any other multitude of things that ... (read in full...)
I don't want my first to be a stranger, but at university the temptation is always there!!
Q. I'm 18 and I've not slept with anyone before and it doesn't help that when i go out in the evenings and meet guys that i'm so tempted to sleep with them! Two nights ago, I met this guy and we were really on it with each other!! I couldn't get ...
A. 4 October 2011: Masturbation? Though at the same time, if you really just want to have sex and trust the guy a lot, have sex. I lost my virginity in a hook-up with a guy I trusted and I don't look back and wish I'd done it differently. Though like Chigirl sa... (read in full...)
Courtesy and Texting
Q. I usually wait to text my boyfriend until I hear from him first. We've been together a year. Initially texting like gangbusters on both sides, so it's not like it was an annoyance when we started. I knew he was going out last night (no problems ...
A. 4 October 2011: He probably was just tired. Unless it happens often, I wouldn't read too much into it.... (read in full...)
Should you trust your partner enough not to use condoms?
Q. This might sound a little stupid but i am going to ask it anyway and it is more to see what are people's sides when it comes to this topic. So i have been in a relationship with this wonderful guy for like a year an a half, he is in his mid 20s a...
A. 4 October 2011: If they seem really trustworthy and were virgins, then sure. But if they've had previous sexual partners they may not even know if they have an STD (many are asymptomatic in men). It's not a trust thing if he just doesn't know it's there. It's ... (read in full...)
I don't think I took my b/c pill when I had unprotected sex!
Q. hi, i have been taking my pill as normal, about 5 days in i had unprotected sex then today, about 4 days later i found one of my pills on the floor... it can only be from this month as i just moved out. i will be taking a pregnancy test when i a...
A. 4 October 2011: You can't take the morning after pill if you're on the regular birth control anyways, they are the same hormones. It's unlikely that this made you pregnant, but if you miss your next period get a pregnancy test.... (read in full...)
Guys -- looks or personality?
Q. Hello all I have a question for the guys out there. Would you rather have a super hot woman with a pretty face and nice bod but dumb and needy. OR Would you rather have a sweetheart with a kind and generous heart but average looks and weight. ...
A. 4 October 2011: I'm not a guy but wanted to point out that looks fade, but a personality is forever.... (read in full...)
Gyno thinks the pill is a good idea, but I don't want to tell my mom I'm sexually active
Q. So today i went to the gynecologist and she said that the only thing that would help with the issue i have is birth control. My mom does not know that i am sexually active and isnt sure about the idea... I on the other hand want to go on the pill ...
A. 4 October 2011: If it's because you have irregular periods, tell her it's for that reason, since it's the truth.... (read in full...)
I don't think I took my b/c pill when I had unprotected sex!
Q. hi, i have been taking my pill as normal, about 5 days in i had unprotected sex then today, about 4 days later i found one of my pills on the floor... it can only be from this month as i just moved out. i will be taking a pregnancy test when i a...
A. 4 October 2011: It's highly unlikely, but still possible. It's too late to take plan B, not to mention it would make you very sick with that many hormones in your body. The only thing to do is wait and see if you get your next period and continue taking the pill.
... (read in full...)
Sex starved, thinking about the porn business?
Q. Let me tell you my story. First of all, I'm a nice guy, fairly good looking, clean-cut, just turned 32, and I stand a shade under 5'6. My friends and co-workers tell me all the time that I'm handsome with a nice body. Secondly, I'm thinking abo...
A. 4 October 2011: You don't enter the porn industry because you're horny just like you don't become a cashier at McDonalds because you're hungry. It is a business, and you would be an employee. You would have to have sex even if you don't really want to, and do sex ... (read in full...)
Is it bad to feel jealous of the excitement of a new relationship?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for over 6 months, we both love and respect each other, I want to spend all my time with him and I know he feels the same way. However, recently my best friend from university met someone on holiday. I lived with her ...
A. 3 October 2011: I think that's normal. I've been in a great relationship for 2.5 years and I still harass my recently attached friends for exciting stories of their dating lives. The first part of the relationship is the most thrilling and such, but it's not very ... (read in full...)
When sexually stimulated I lose total control of my body!
Q. I was just wondering if my situation is normal, weird, or what ... anytime I get sexually stimulated (be it by myself or my bf) I literally lose control of my body; I can't stay still even if I wanted to. I buck, twitch, tremble, my legs cramp, i...
A. 3 October 2011: That's a GOOD thing, supposed to happen. Be glad you have someone who stimulates you so well in bed!... (read in full...)
Why are men so sneaky about pornography?
Q. My finance and myself have been together for almost 3 years; long story short..When we met i seen history of porography on his computer; in the past year i have caught from history finders and my computer skills him looking up stuff. He said when ...
A. 3 October 2011: In order for porn to be natural for guys it would have had to appear without interference from society, which it obviously didn't. Making the argument that porn is natural makes as much sense as saying McDonalds is natural. Porn is a product, ... (read in full...)
Is a virgin more attractive dating material?
Q. Hey everybody 2 quick questions mainly for girls do you believe that a virgin is more attractive as dating material than a non virgin and is an intelligent person more attractive as dating material than a dumb person?...
A. 3 October 2011: The virgin thing has two perks, one is no jealousy over past lovers/no worrying about how you measure up. The other is that a virgin has no weird habits from previous lovers so it's easier to teach them what your personal likes are.
And I don't kn... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 1 October 2011: Well there are a lot of reasons a woman may feel she has no other options. To preface, this isn't all women in the industry and contains large generalizations just so the post isn't incredibly long. It's just to get an idea.
Firstly some women ar... (read in full...)
If men want their women to look like porn stars, why don't us women care that our men don't look like porn stars??
Q. I'm 25, and I'm here to discuss pornography and men. Some but not all men complain their women don't look like porn stars/models etc. but how come women don't do the opposite and ask for 6-packs/chiselled bodies / big penises etc? Or if they do,...
A. 30 September 2011: Most porn is catering to a straight male fantasy meaning the women are going to be exaggerated versions of stereotypically hot women to turn men on with pudgy unappealing men to avoid turning them off by being threatening. Not to mention the ... (read in full...)
I'm 13 weeks pregnant but still have signs of blood when I use the bathrrom
Q. im 13 weeks pregnent and when i go to toilet ( number 2) i always have blood when i wipe myself or in the toilet sumtimes its lots other times its not but never strong enought to go onto my underwear Whats wrong with me ??????...
A. 30 September 2011: A doctor is always a good idea, but it sounds like haemorrhoids to me, which are very common for pregnant women especially. They typically cause pain when you defecate and often cause bleeding (sometimes quite a lot). So if you see it coming from ... (read in full...)
Will our relationship be illegal when I graduate?
Q. Ok I am going to graduate this year from highschool and my boyfriend is a year younger than me will it be illegal for me and him to date when he is still in highschool and I'm not? Also I don't want to break up with him I want him and I to be ...
A. 28 September 2011: Laws aren't based on schooling, they're based on age. It varies by state, but so long as he's not under 16 it's legal.... (read in full...)
Are my emotions after sex normal?
Q. Is it normal for a man to feel gushy with a person he just had sex with? An is it normal to feel like things have changed after having sex with a person ? Or to view the person in a different light?...
A. 28 September 2011: Yes. You release a ton of chemicals in your brain that are thought to cause a person to bond. Contrary to popular belief that men are able to completely separate emotion from sex, it's not possible for the vast majority of people.... (read in full...)
Ladies, which do you prefer - the cook or the dancer?
Q. Just out of curiosity to all the women out there, which do you prefer - a man who knows his way around the kitchen or a man who knows his way around the dance floor? And why? (I'm just taking a poll of sorts after an interesting discussion among...
A. 28 September 2011: Hmm that's a super tough one since both of those things are my two biggest hobbies! I'd have to go with cooking though since I rarely go out dancing, but I eat three times a day. I'm a real foodie as well, so eating is the most important part of my ... (read in full...)
Unexpected! I just don't want this....What can I do or say to get her to stay?
Q. Hey there everyone I need some help on my relationship. My GF and I have been together for 3 1/2 years. Everything has been going great we moved in together in April of this year and everything was perfect. But today she approched me after work and ...
A. 28 September 2011: Well it sounds like either you have to give up your job to be somewhere more convenient for her to work or you're going to have to end things. To be honest though, it seems a bit odd that she'd pack a bag and say this out of the blue before ... (read in full...)
Can I delete him off facebook? I don't want to know what he's up to!
Q. My ex dumped me a week and a half ago. We had a 1 year relationship. Its been very hard for me, but he is completely fine. He feels nothing about the break up and has moved on. I have to see my ex every day as we go to uni together and are in the ...
A. 28 September 2011: Facebook causes so much hassle these days for relationships. Don't give it a second thought. Delete him stop causing yourself stress.... (read in full...)
No orgasm from penetrative sex, is this wrong/different?
Q. okay ..i have a problem with sexual pleasure i think something is wrong or different with me!i don't get an orgasm from real sex...i get it only when i stimulate it from outside i mean without putting anything inside,i never masturbated by inserting ...
A. 27 September 2011: Only 25% of women ever have an orgasm from penetration alone. Foreplay is an idiotic term because for most women foreplay is where the orgasm comes from (oral sex or fingers). If you want to enjoy sex a bit more/up your odds of an orgasm, use ... (read in full...)
How to deal with post sex mess?
Q. So this isn't really a question more a query!! I've just started having un-protected sex with partner (all checks done and accounted for!) I just wondered, how do other people deal with that post-sex-mess - lol I find it funny it goes f...
A. 27 September 2011: Just to check, when you say unprotected you either mean another form of birth control of you're trying for a baby right?
Anyways, what me and my partner did/do is that we buy really cheap crappy towels and just keep them near the bed, then gra... (read in full...)
How much trouble would we be in if we have sex at a movie theatre and get caught?
Q. I am 19 and I have been with my bf Brett for 2 yrs. Our 2 yr anniversary is on wednesday and I wanted to do something special so I asked him what he would like to do. I was kinda shocked when he sadi he had 2 things he had always wanted to do the ...
A. 27 September 2011: No that's just NASTY both for you and for other patrons.
You could be charged with a crime if caught, and if children are present anywhere nearby (and rest assured they will be in some other movie somewhere) you would be listed as sex offender... (read in full...)
To text or not to text?
Q. I met a guy through a family friend-she gave one of her friends nephews my number and he contacted me (by text). We texted every day for a month before agreeing to meet up. The date went well-met after work and we had a lot in common and ended up ...
A. 27 September 2011: You should text him to ask him on a date. Maybe he's feeling a bit like he's had to make all the first moves. Either he's waiting for you to make a move or he's lost interest for some reason. Only one way to find out, and that's to ask him to go ... (read in full...)
She doesn t want me paying for her lunch...what should I do now
Q. hi, I have known this girl for just over a month and plucked up the courage to ask her out. I asked her if she would like to go for lunch sometime this week. Initially she said, yes, that sounds like a good idea. But then she hesitated and said that ...
A. 27 September 2011: Put together a picnic for the two of you and go sit in a park and eat together. Cheap so you don't go broke over it and she doesn't feel guilty accepting it. Or invite her for a walk or a bike ride.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 26 September 2011: A quick note though, can we stop referring to women in porn as skanks and sluts and bitches? Part of the problem with pornography is that it presents women in porn in subhuman/things and when we call them fake, sluts, skanks, and overall refer to ... (read in full...)
Can sperm swim in water?
Q. I know this is a bit of a daft question, but can sperm swim in water? Like if you're fooling around in the bath and the guy comes, if you're not on any sort of contraception is there a risk, however slight, of getting pregnant? Thanks for any ...
A. 25 September 2011: No, fresh water kills sperm because of osmotic shock (differing salt contents within the cell and outside the cell). Though I'd imagine they'd survive a bit longer in salt water.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 25 September 2011: So leave. It's an incredible double standard. Most guys would feel awful knowing they were second best and probably wouldn't put up with being told to deal with it because it's "normal." It's just another one of many examples of women having to be ... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my looks, Does he lie to me to make me feel better, because I don't look like a porn star?
Q. I know, I know, another porn question. I need advice especially from females who "get it". I guess I have quite a degree of insecurity. The thing is, I know my boyfriend loves me. I know he lies to make me feel better, because he swears and insists ...
A. 25 September 2011: Yeah all this stuff about settling and such is pretty pathetic. I pity anyone you winds up with. My boyfriend does not look at porn. And surprise, surprise, I never ever feel like he really wants to be with someone else. He tells me that he thinks ... (read in full...)
I get turned on hearing about my girlfriend's exes...how do I get her to talk about it for me?
Q. I really want my girlfriend to tell me about her past sexual experiences during sex. After hearing a little bit about her previous relationships, I want to hear more. It's not that I want her to sleep with another man, just that I want her to use ...
A. 25 September 2011: Just be SURE you want to go down that road first. You can't unlearn information. If she starts telling you these details, they will be stuck there. And if you happen to be bothered by something, that image will fester in your mind forever. So be ... (read in full...)
I would like to kiss this girl tomorrow
Q. So I am 15 and there is a girl I like who is 14. We both go to different high school and we have hung out a few times and we text/talk on the phone all the time. Well a month ago she told me in a text that she thought I was hot and this gave me an ...
A. 25 September 2011: It's all romantic and cute in the movies when the guy just randomly kisses the girl. But in real life, it's sexual assault if she doesn't want to be kissed. So you should ask her on a date first, talk to her about stuff first, confess you like her ... (read in full...)
Should I just stick to my gut about ignoring him if there is contact?
Q. My boyfriend and I got into an argument like 2 weeks ago, said we weren't going to see each other but we ended up seeing each other and getting back together.We have been going out for 4 years now. Anyways, I'm confused and annoyed and angry because ...
A. 25 September 2011: No don't play games. Either end things or don't. If he blows you off all the time and is picking fights with you all the time, he is being a coward and trying to make you end things. And you should. Don't ignore him, don't play little games, just ... (read in full...)
Is it ok to used condoms which have passed their expiry date?
Q. hey aunts, i just wanted to know; are condoms reliable when expired? cuz i heard that it depends where its kept; eg if its somewhere in a bathroom cubboard near a steam pipe it wud last less than one kept away in a dark cool locker or sutten.....
A. 24 September 2011: No. This isn't like a dairy product where it's kind of OK, the expiration date means the latex breaks down to an unsafe point past that date and has a much higher chance of breaking as time goes on. Buying new condoms is not expensive. You know what ... (read in full...)
He moved on quickly. Did our relationship mean nothing to him?
Q. i was w/ my boyfriend in a serious relationship for 2 1/2 yrs and i recently broke up w/ him b/c i didnt see a future w/ him. he started dating someone new in only two weeks and when i found this out i was really hurt. does this mean that our ...
A. 24 September 2011: I can see why that would hurt. However, once you break up with someone, you have to just let them go. I assume you broke with him for a reason, because he wasn't that committed. You can think of this positively, that at least you were right in ... (read in full...)
The ex and facebook etiquette.
Q. Facebook etiquette question: Me and my ex decided to stay friends after the relationship ended. We didn't have contact for a few months, then started hanging out again, and it works ok. I'm not in love with him any more, yet... It's still bothe...
A. 23 September 2011: Just delete him, don't tell him you deleted him. Who wants to deal with that kind of drama because they're worried about being rude? ... (read in full...)
Emails and texts with sexual innuendo, should I be upset or is it harmless?
Q. My fiancee lives with me. He sometimes sends emails to his ex girlfriends with sexual inuendos. Should I be upset about this or is it harmless flirting/banter. He doesn't tell me about the messages and I have asked that he does. I have also see...
A. 23 September 2011: No you're not overreacting. This is totally unacceptable for someone in a committed relationship. This is not someone ready to get married.... (read in full...)
Our constant fighting has killed the romance in our relationship!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for three and a half months, after just over a year of friendship. In that time, I have always tried to be a respectful, honest, and deeply caring partner. And, for the first part of our relationship (our ...
A. 23 September 2011: Four months is so little time to be fighting and bickering non-stop that you should move on. This soon in you should still both be infatuated with each other and in the "honeymoon phase." If even that can't help things, what's going to happen when ... (read in full...)
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