A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I guess I should ask this as a curiousity question, aimed at men preferrably. Now, I have been on this site awhile and asked and answered a few questions. What I always hear on the topic of porn- ALL MEN WATCH PORN. Is this true? Now I will say how this goes in my relationship. My fiance isn't an extremely sexual person. He can't even have sex every day, he likes a break in between. Sometimes he could do sex 2 nights in a row, but rarely 3 nights in a row, nor would he want to. Now, since he isn't able to really get off so much he says he never watches porn and masturbates. He would rather have sex to get off. I've asked before if he watches it, I was always very open when I did, he just always says he doesn't remember the last time he has. I won't say I would be thrilled if he did but I wouldn't be mad either.So my question is, is this true? I know you don't know him. But ever since I have been on this site and read the mountains of porn entries, I have read every guy watches it. And a guy who claims he doesn't is just lying and does it behind your back. Every woman who came on here saying she hates porn and her man doesn't watch it gets responses about her naivete and insures that he does in fact watch it (all men do) and her man is no exception. He just lies to make her happy. Also I have heard men NEED to masturbate even if getting sex regularly. I have said this to my fiance and he said that makes no sense. So what's the truth? Do all men really watch porn/need porn/masturbate despite getting sex regularly (say about 3 times a week)? Or is it stupid to believe he isn't interested and secretly has a cache of porn hidden somewhere like "all" men do? This is purely for curiousities sake. I had heard it isn't possible and I seem to be with someone who says it is. Thanks! I look forward to the interesting responses.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 September 2011): Everybody is different. Many guys use porn even in a committed and loving relationship, others won't, it's as simple as that. The world would be a pretty boring place if everybody did exactly the same thing as everybody else.
If you have, no other reasons to doubt him on this, then just take it at face value.
A
male
reader, santas  +, writes (9 September 2011):
No, not all men watch/like porn. Personally I watched porn once out of curiosity and I did not like it. I find it odd and since then,I have never gone back to watching it I have friends who watch it but 100% is an exaggeration maybe most men watch porn but not all.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (8 September 2011):
 "Most men masturbate regularly even when getting regular sex. And the men who say they don't are telling their partner what they want to hear."
That's just not true. How do I know? Because I'd be pregnant now if my boyfriend was doing it and lying about it, though most men do masturbate while in a relationship. Again, the above statement falls back to the whole thing of trying to normalize your own behavior by claiming that since everyone else is doing it, you can't be held accountable for your own behavior. According the Kinsey institute (this number is 1994, before internet pornography was widespread):
"35% of American men aged 18-39 do not masturbate while 37% masturbate sometimes, and 28% one or more times per week."
As for explaining why, even if they were sexually satisfied, it's because for many men and women masturbation (and often porn) becomes habitual. Like brushing your teeth. You do it at roughly the same time every day and it's downright difficult to stop. I'd say the feeling is much stronger than just horniness. One guy said he got in the habit as a teenager of masturbating as soon as his family left the house, and so once he got into a relationship in his early twenties, the feeling was still there that every time his wife left the house, he felt a really strong urge to masturbate that was extremely hard to break. For others it's a time of day maybe, etc...
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reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell he never claimed to hate porn. He wacthed it in the past with ex's he wasn't super into and didn't have sex with as often as we do. Now what an anonymous person said was exactly what I was referring to- "Most men masturbate regularly even when getting regular sex. And the men who say they don't are telling their partner what they want to hear." This is what I have heard forever. And the porn watching isn't a huge deal, but if I ask something I don't want to be lied to. I have had issues with lying and porn use in the past. Which is what has made me think of this to begin with, whenever my fiancee says he doesn't have an interest in it I remember quotes just like the one I typed from the anonymous poster. And I rarely ask. But if I ever did it's the answer- I can't even remember the last time I wacthed porn. So just curious if I'm being fed a load of crap that he thinks I'd want to hear or if men really can not be porn obsessed and are capable of going without.* I still don't get the needing to masturbate even if getting sex regularly so if a guy wants to explain that I'd love to understand it. * I told this to my fiancee and he said that didn't make any sense. Thanks for all the input
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 As far as I know, no, it's not a biological imperative, there are quite a few men who are not interested in porn.
My son is one,for instance . He's 21 and when he was in high school he had a big argument with his then best friend because this guy would come over to play videogames... then he always asked to go check some porn on Internet, and my son did not want to.
I know that I make him sound as some lame goody-goody, ...but he 's not . He is a normal, hetero , fun-loving young man. Just his definition of " fun " does not include watching porn.
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male
reader, Cupid Boy  +, writes (8 September 2011):
 Of course not all guys watch it. If there's no good reason to doubt your fiance, then just take him at his word. Not all guys love sports, videogames, or beer either.
The men who claim ALL guys watch pornos are really saying more about themselves than they are about all guys. It's like if I'm going to cheat on my taxes, telling myself that everyone cheats on their taxes too will make it easier. You hear the same thing from adulterers ("I cheated on my wife. Guess what? So do millions of other men" - Jesse James) and child porn collectors:
http://cnews.canoe.ca/CNEWS/Crime/2011/08/26/18602406.html?&pic=0
So you can believe your real life experience or you can believe the claims of some very vocal porn advocates who presume to speak for everyone.
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female
reader, RedAthena +, writes (7 September 2011):
 No, because the odds of 100% of any gender doing the same thing is impossible! :D
Sex drives and preferences differ from person to person.
Porn has become more acceptable in most cultures and is not the taboo it once was.
Sexual preferences and drive to those preferences are going to differ from person to person. What is normal for me, may not be normal for you.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Just fyi, not all porn is "fake" and completely staged. I don't know where people get this idea from. There's lots of "real" porn out there (whatever that is) and I don't really understand what classifies certain sex as fake and other sex real.
People recording sexual activity is not as terrible as some will lead you to believe, it can be great fun, even if the "porn industry" is a horrible mess.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): To be honest, I think your guy is telling you the truth. I’ve been watching porn for more than 12 years so I suppose you can say that I’m experienced in area of porn viewing. I have an exceptionally high sex drive so the lovely girls in porn are of great value to me, I thank the lord that porn and these girls exist. Something that I have observed over the years is that in actual fact there are probably more guys who don’t watch porn than there are guys that do, really! When I first discovered porn, I just assumed that all teenagers my age liked the stuff, reality showed this not the case. I knew stacks of guys who were not into porn. One of my good mates who likes sex and likes girls, has really no interest in porn at all. He says the women are all fake and ugly and that a girl with cum on her face is just ridiculous. For me that is totally NOT understandable, I’m like WTF??? but it’s just the way it is. I had a huge stash of porn mags and vids, and I still do today.
Anyhow to keep it simple, the guys who have little interest in porn tend to be quite about it as it is just not really an issue in their lives. The guys who do like porn tend to be more noisy about it. This is probably why people get the impression that almost all guys are into porn.
There are heaps and heaps of guys who are not into it!!!
(BTW the 3 times a week you are giving your guy is pretty good ;-))
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (7 September 2011):
I also agree with person12345. That's a very good answer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): most do, i do watch it i have a fiancée, the only reason is because it has been a habit, i watched it since i was a about 8 or 9 and just got used to watching it every single day. but i would only watch it when my fiancée isnt around and when i am not getting any sex, i have a high sex drive, but she doesn't always want to have sex, otherwise i would ditch the porn immediately.
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male
reader, PrinceCharming +, writes (7 September 2011):
Wow lets make men look like the bad guys hahaha women do it too! But seriously my sister is 21 and we tell each other every thing and she has never watched porn , she is disgusted by it! There are defiantly guys that are way into it more then others but the guys that say they dont watch it are full of crap. They might not like but they still watch it rarely
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female
reader, Gabrielle Stoker +, writes (7 September 2011):
 Generalizations are odious. Most men do watch porn, it's easily available and its gratifying, after all - so it's pretty much just as most people would eat junk food or something. On the other hand there will be those who, due to their personal preferences or moral values, would not. Just as most people do eat junk food at least occasionally, most men would watch porn at least occasionally.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Well, 95% of guys in Australia do, not sure about America
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Of course all men don't watch porn! Many men find it extremely distasteful, especially watching internet/video porn. If in a relationship and they're getting sex often enough with their partner, they feel no need to go looking for it. Sometimes men only look at pictures in magazines to masturbate to when young babies/children are in the family and their partner is feeling just too tired or worn out for a sexual romp. It's not cheating on her and is actually quite thoughtful, as long as she's approached first for a cuddle but you realise quickly she's just not in the mood. You don't want her feeling she 'has' to perform, but you don't want her to end up feeling rejected either, so it's a fine line.
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reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (7 September 2011):
 I'd also like to add that while not all men watch porn, theres a very high chance all of them have seen it at some point in their life, which severally inflates the statistics.
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female
reader, DanceInTheDark +, writes (7 September 2011):
I'm friends with this guy. He has a high sex drive, He's single, he's very blunt, he doesn't care what people think.
He's told me how he thinks porn is stupid, and how after he lost his virginity it just didn't appeal to him anymore because of how fake it is.
I dated a guy, who also had a high sex drive, he was pretty much an ass, He also wouldn't put up with anything, I asked him to stop watching porn, he did. Because it was that meaningless to him.
So yes, there are guys who don't watch porn. yes a lot of them do, but not all.
The women saying all men watch porn are trying to justify it. The guys who say all men watch porn are just trying to normalize it and avoid responsibility for hurting his partner.
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): funny how women can answer on behalf of men... they love to do that of course.All is an absolute 100% which is not a useful measure. The operational reality is yes most men do. Most men masturbate regularly even when getting regular sex. And the men who say they don't are telling their partner what they want to hear.Of course, the women who've answered here have that rare man at the extreme end of the bell curve who don't...
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2011): Certainly not all men watch porn. That doesn't mean that they haven't ever -- they just don't make a habit of it. My boyfriend, for example, finds it awkward, so he doesn't watch it.
There's no reason to assume your man isn't telling you the truth.
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male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (7 September 2011):
 There is no such thing as 100% of people doing anything (other than perhaps breathing and eating). Of course not all men watch porn. If your guy doesn't have a sex drive that's particularly high he certainly could be getting all he wants and needs with you.
I will say that, of the men I know well enough to be open about such things, all of them do use porn. But they're older and in relationships of longstanding, so none of them has sex remotely as often as 3x a week. For them porn is a substitute for what they can't have, and I doubt any one of them would masturbate rather than have sex if it were offered.
Of the men I don't know so well, I'm confident that some of them wouldn't touch porn with a 10' keyboard.
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (7 September 2011):
Around 70% of men watch it regularly (defined as at least several times a year) according to the latest Kinsey survey, that's definitely not all. Your boyfriend could very well be telling the truth. Anyone who says all men watch porn is just trying to normalize their own behavior to attempt to remove personal responsibility, as in since all men do it he can't help it and therefore isn't responsible for his own behavior. Or if a woman says it, to remove her boyfriend's personal responsibility so as to pretend he's not hurting her on purpose because since all men do it, he can't help it.
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