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female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question.Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and wives getting hurt about discovering that their husbands watch porn movies. I don't know if I am missing something.Is it because I grew up watching porn with my friends? I've had 2 serious boyfriends so far and both of them I watched porn with. We enjoy watching porn together and we even try to imitate it. I can see how he enjoys watching it but I don't get jealous or whatever. What could my boyfriend do with this women? Cheat with them? But who knows I may be wrong too. So my question then is, am i the only one who doesn't find anything wrong with it that my bf watches porn? What do you think?
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female
reader, Diamondintheruff  +, writes (1 March 2012):
 Luckly, no you're not. I love porn! I know for a long time women have viewed it as a thing for men but I think are gender is finally comeing around to the idea.(pun intended) Porn can be an awesome tool and not just entertainment. I totally suport the porn industry! All hail porn!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 September 2011): Like I said in previous posts....look how angry offended and aggressive those in opposition to porn become. A simple I do not like it personally should suffice. There are a lot of adult comic magazines out there with graphic pictures of super heroes and crooks. That is art, although its only meant to be embraced by open minded non offended individual adults. Adult bookstores, toys and games are all forms of art that someone with a creative mind invented. Art is in the eye of the beholder. So some may see art while others do not. And again OP, u are not the only woman who isn't threatened by porn. But as u can see from the posts below.....many and mostly women have taken offense to ur neutral position on porn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2011): As a woman who does not agree, feels happy with her partner seeing porn I would like to explain something that it seems you have missed.Porn is not in any way threatening to me, it is simply that I find it degrading and disrespectful.The reality is that women who are happy with porn use in their relationships are the ones who are threatened. They are threatened by the idea of being respected.Threatened by the idea of deep intimacy with their partner.Threatened by the idea that they can expect to be treated better and threatened by the idea that they could possibly be enough to sexually satisfy a man without him having the need to turn to porn.
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reader, person12345 +, writes (2 September 2011):
 Actually Chigirl the majority of women hate it (55-60%) and only between 25-30% of women watch it and many of those only watch it with their partner, not alone. Some men do feel extremely upset about their female partners watching it, sometimes even men who use porn themselves. The reason we hear a lot less about it is because of several things. One is that relatively few women secretly use porn or even use porn while in a relationship. The other is that there's quite a lot of pressure on guys to watch it and to think it's cool, so it would seem pretty "unmanly" to complain about a woman using it.
Also you say that as long as both people agree on porn use, it's not a problem. Yes, that's true but it's a pretty enormous oversimplification. Seeing as somewhere between 55-60% of women hands down do not want it in their relationships but 70% of men use it, there is going to be some pretty big overlap there. Since so many men watch it, most women simply don't have the option of waiting to find a guy who doesn't use it (60% of women going after over 30% of men). Not to mention the fact that around 70% of porn users lie about their use at least to some extent, many women don't find out about this use until they're extremely invested in the relationship.
I strongly disagree that women who have a problem with it are loudest, as comments on this site alone telling women they are stupid or controlling for so much as feeling hurt far outnumber comments from women who either feel hurt or see nothing wrong with feeling hurt. One the biggest feelings I hear described from women who are hurt is shame or guilt. Not shame or guilt from discovering the porn, but shame or guilt for feeling hurt. Women are told over and over by innumerable sources that this is not something they are allowed to have a say in this and that they are basically bad people for allowing themselves to be hurt by it.
Usually when women come on this site feeling bad about it they are told they are prude, stupid, controlling, frigid, ugly, fat, insecure, jealous, or just plain wrong. Unless they can describe how it hurts their boyfriend (he can't get it up) the harm it causes them is inconsequential apparently. Seeing how much women on this site and everywhere are badmouthed and punished for feeling bad about this, what could they possibly gain from commenting here that they do have a problem with it?
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reader, HappyPlace  +, writes (2 September 2011):
 Bandying around comments like "not open minded", "insecure" etc for people who do not watch porn is not helpful in my book and serves to confuse the OP. Would it be helpful if I called all porn watchers "perverts", "closed minded", "fetishistic", etc, etc! Stop putting labels on people whose opinion differs to yours!! At the end of the day, get together with someone who is on the same wavelength as you are. If you like porn, then get together with another porn watcher! Simple as! And as for porn being art, well I look forward to seeing it at the National Gallery. Perhaps you can leave your jizz mags (sorry, art magazines), lying around on your coffee table so people can appreciate it!! If it's art then you should have no problem showing it to your nieces/nephews!! That sure sounds crazy to me. Someone also wrote about understanding their partner's tastes without rejecting him and making him feel odd, WTF! Is it only men who have "odd tastes"? If so, why is that? I know a friend of mine whose partner liked to wear her thong and get whacked on the arse with a big wooden spoon - She obliged in the moment but we didn't half laugh about it when she told me. In fact we still laugh about it now several years later - he also liked her to call him "Daddy" - now if that's not fucked up I don't know what is. He also loved porn and had to use it to get his pecker up!! I don't believe this is liberalism, but in fact comes from a dark place as the guy was pretty fucked up and went from women to women; he ended up on TV at a monk's retreat with several other people trying to find a spiritual path! Good for those women who like porn, let's hope it never affects your relationship negatively. And good for you for supporting this industry by watching and buying porn! As an aside, here in England there were a couple of men (Frank Bough and Jamie somebodyorother) who were involved in sex scandals (visiting prostitutes etc) and they have been villified ever since. Work dried up and I believe they are pitied now due to their predelections!! So beware of the rocky road that porn can take you down!
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 September 2011): You're not alone in thinking nothing is wrong with ur bf watching porn. I deeply believe porn is only for people who are open minded. Many females are indeed insecure about their man watching porn. Personally I see porn as an art form and it can be beautiful for those who enjoy that particular form of art. Not everyone enjoys the art of sexual content. It's sad that several females got upset/aggressive in response to ur question. Only those in opposition of porn became aggressive. I wouldn't get upset at my bf, in fact i d be serious to learn more about his tastes without rejecting him and making him feel odd....having to sneak behind my back. So I believe porn is only meant for people who can embrace sexual art without being offended.
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reader, chigirl  +, writes (1 September 2011):
 I see the focus is on men who use porn and how that affects (supposedly) women. What you seem to forget is that a lot of women watch porn, yet there's not a single person stating that MEN are being damaged because of it, or that MEN are being hurt, or that women can't get off without the use of porn, thus it might insult their male partners.
What exactly do you think is the reason behind this focus on men as the evil porn users, while women who watch porn get off for free? Women watch porn too! So include them in the bashing if you want to be fair.
The end result is that some women don't like porn, for their own personal reasons. The majority of women either don't mind, or watch it themselves. It's the ones who protests against it we hear most often, as they cry the loudest. But all those who don't say much of it are probably thinking porn is fine. So no, you're not alone in thinking porn is acceptable. Let others use their own definition of what cheating is etc, but their definitions are only limited to themselves. The rest of us get to define our relationships just the way we want, and as long as both partners agree there is no problem. Who cares what a person not in the relationship has to say about your relationship?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the overwhelming response to this topic. I realized one thing, that just as any other issue, everyone has her own opinion based on her own experience and how porn affects her personally.
Everyone has a good point to the extent that it has somehow got me thinking a bit. And truly this is a good area of debate. :)
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reader, HappyPlace +, writes (30 August 2011):
One guy has commented "just like I need to envision porn scenes to get off sometimes during sex"! Why do you need to do that? Can't you keep your clanger up without porn? Well, if ever there was a case for not using porn, you have it right there. The guy can no longer get off with a real live woman and has to envision porn scenes to do so. I bet your partner would feel great (NOT) if she knew that. So for all you ladies who don't mind the porn, please note that your partner is likely thinking of someone else to get off while making love to you! They probably try and imagine you are their favourite porn star too!! And you women are happy with that?? Jeeeeezzzeeee! You probably feel you are liberal and sexy and willing to do anything for your partner,but my goodness that comes at a price which I am not willing to pay. Good luck to you all.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2011): I am not threatened by it. I simply will not tolerate it.
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reader, person12345 +, writes (25 August 2011):
Interesting choice of words below that women "let" themselves be hurt. No mention of partners who knowingly cause hurt. Feeling hurt is an involuntary function, extremely difficult to change. Hurting someone is a voluntary function, very easy to change. It's not women who bring this on themselves by having the audacity to allow themselves to be hurt. And saying that women who feel this way are wrong is absolutely not OK.
This whole idea that only insecure people are bothered by porn is bogus. Given a) that a vast majority of women have some insecurities about their appearance and b) given that I've seen both extremely confident women and insecure women alike shattered by this. It is not a general insecurity problem, it is an insecurity that porn causes. Given how much I work with women and me who deal with this, it's pretty clear that this can affect anyone, and it does affect the majority of women. A majority of women flat out do not want it in their relationships, and a large portion of women who are OK with it still report feeling hurt at least sometimes.
There's a very good reason for this and that's because there is as close to consensus as the scientific community can get that porn causes harm to people. I can count on one hand the popular research that found otherwise. The most repeated study on porn ever done has shown consistently and without doubt that viewing porn in a relationship causes them to be significantly less satisfied with their partner's appearance, with the frequency of sex, and with their partner's sexual curiosity. There is no question on this.
Not to mention the research that shows that the reason we like porn so much is because our brains subconsciously believe that we are actually having sex with the people we are watching through our mirror neurons. Many guys I've talked to say that they watch for the sole purpose of imagining it was them in the video. The question to me isn't why would someone be bothered by this, my question is why wouldn't someone be bothered by their partner going out of his way to get as close as he can to having sex with multiple other better looking women? Just because they're not physically touching doesn't mean it's not basically the same thing except that there's no risk of STDs.
Using porn and cheating are much closer than many users and partners of users would like to admit. The emotional damage is causes are the same, men leave their partners for porn sometimes (it's thought at least 15% of users are addicted at this point), and porn use is now a factor in more divorces than infidelity.
Not to mention the fact that the vast majority of porn is extremely degrading and violent to women (88.2% to be precise), who would want to be with a man who gets off on women being treated like that? Loving sweet porn I'm sure exists, but that's not what most men are watching.
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reader, bunnyblueeyes +, writes (25 August 2011):
 There's nothing wrong with men watching porn. If truth be told, I probably watch porn just as much as my boyfriend!
By not being intimidated by porn you're showing your partners that you are confident with yourself and that is so sexy.
You're doing absolutely the right thing.
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reader, HappyPlace +, writes (25 August 2011):
I am bothered by porn and I'd be equally bothered if my man checked out other women in front of me, same thing in my book. There are some posts here that say they don't mind that, but I do. So my opinion differs from others, so what!! It's my opinion and I'm sticking to it! Good for you if you don't mind your men wanking over other women, and actively eyeing up other women! But do you know what, to me that sounds crazy! Just as my views might sound crazy to you. I've been around enough men who watched porn (brother, work colleagues etc) to know that the type of man who watches it is not the guy for me. And also, as for the eyeing up, it's personally repulsive to me when a man is with a woman yet you can see him eyeing you up - he may think he has the right to do so but personally I want to stab his stupid, disrespectful eye out, yucccckkkk! My partner's bf watches it all the time and I find him to be an irriating fucker! We were talking about past friends that we knew and one chap who was always pleasant to me. His friend said "yeah, of course he was pleasant, because you are small, blonde with big tits"!! Sorry, if that's the way porn watching colours your view then more fool you! I prefer real men who have better things to do with their time!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): All the women I have been with have enjoyed porn to varying degrees. The least was one who just sat there and watched...no real response. The most was one who worked in an adult gift shop and was very familiar with porn, knew actors and actresses by name, loved sexy lingere, toys and other paraphernalia. I am still with her and the sex is amazing. Although I think because she got all that out of her system before me, I got kinda jipped.I dont get women who are threatened by porn. It is not cheating to me, or to anyone I ever knew, male or female. Yet it seems to be a real problem for some women to catch their BF jerking off to Jenna Jameson or whatever. It's just fantasy. I'm sure my fiancee has fantasies once in a while of old BF's, threesomes or whatever, just like I envision porn scenes to get off sometimes during sex.I like the fast food analogy! A well balanced, 7-course meal is great, but sometimes you need a Whopper with cheese right away.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): Porn is not a problem if a man is capable of understanding that what they are seeing is not what the majority of women enjoy. For some, they know this, but for so many others, they really believe, for example, women take off their clothes and just get rammed in the ass, when in the real world, women need some prep work for this "show". So much of porn is seriously degrading to respectful women and there is nothing in porn that depicts love, intimacy or passion...it's just about a serious bang, dominating women and filling every hole they can get into, and some of it can get pretty disturbing and borderline rape. Lets get real and call it like the majority of it...really is. There is something to be said for all the thousands and thousands of posts from women and the problems they have with men and their porn usage. Yet, so many men still can't see the big picture and many grown up thinking that what they have watched in those movies is what a intimate sexual relationship is supposed to be like, so they jump from right now girl to right now girl and can't quite figure out why they can't find a fulfilling relationship. Or they ruin perfectly good relationships because they need a quick fix, that often turns into a regular thing...it's actually pretty sad. Men who can watch that much porn have way too much time on their hands. The problem I have with porn is when the man gets to a point that the only way they get off is by masterbating to what they are seeing on the screen, and they have to bring it into the bedroom because they can no longer connect with their mate because of it. Now, there's a real problem. I personally get very turned on by watching the videos with two bi-men and a women, so I would be a hypocrite if I said I was against porn, which I am not ...I have no desire to actually do this in real life with my man, I do not need to bring anything I see into the bedroom and have a fulfilling sex life in my mid forties. This is not the case for so many men, especially when they get older and they don't have the endurance to perform as long...they need more and more stimulation and watching porn is an easy fix, and becomes a real issue for their partner. You are still fairly young and probably haven't had to experience common ED issues and physical changes that they begin to experience in their 40's. Women's body's change as well, and unless they have a lot of work done, one might start to feel like less of a desirable women because they no longer have those young bodies anymore after bearing children, ect. Personally, I am a pretty confident person, and am fairly happy with my body and feel I still look pretty good for someone my age..sure I have some areas that could use improvements, but I work hard to keep in shape, yet there are some things that are going south no matter what I do, so sure, it's knocks your self esteem down a notch or two. It's a very difficult topic to discuss for some...some men are in complete denial or what the real affects are and if it's a quick jerk off release, why the heck would they want to give that up? Some men have addictive personalities and this would be very hard for them to change. So much falls on your sexual upbringing... I mean, if you were exposed to porn as a norm, if you were permiscuous as a teenager, you intentionally dress to draw attention to yourself, you were sexually abused, you have this thinking that you should do anything and everything because that's how you will keep your man, if you have to have a man in your life to feel happy, etc., etc, for examples, maybe a women who doesn't see the real picture might be desensitized and is why it doesn't bother them. I don't know this as fact, just a pondering thought....
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reader, RedAthena +, writes (24 August 2011):
 I am not bothered by it and I do not feel threatened by it.
I accept porn as part of human sexuality. I do not necessarily want to watch Porn with my lover, as he prefers stuff that does not turn me on.
I see porn as sexual fast food. Quick and easy, no nutritional value, but meets the need at the moment.
For the real meal-he gets his satisfaction from me.
Just like ANYTHING we "consume" too much can make us sick or addicted. If any habit becomes an addiction and overwhelms a relationship-THEN it becomes a problem!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): I'm not bothered by it at all. My husband watches it quite regularly and I watch it every once in a while when I'm in the mood.
I agree with the other posters on here that suggest that it's a confidence thing. Most confident women I know are perfectly okay with it.
In terms of women being against it as a general rule I believe it's just an exaggeration. Of the women I've talked to about it I would say it's probably more like 50/50.... On sites like this you just get tired of defending it after a while.. I know I replied to a few posters that were complaining about porn when I first joined this site but it gets boring very quickly and now I don't even bother reading those posts...
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reader, Claraw1  +, writes (24 August 2011):
 I am not threatened by it either, I don't watch it myself as I don't like to, but I have no problem with my boyfriend watching it. In the end I am the one that he loves and wants to be with, so I couldn't care less if he watches it. He knows that and respects that I don't like it and doesn't watch it when I am around, so I figure why cause trouble over it. Other women I know are extremely bothered by it though, I guess it comes down to how secure they are within themselves
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): People are insecure. In addition, heaping mounds of postmodernist critical theory have lent a veneer of rational thought under which one can easily hide said insecurity. Also, women are often discomfited by the discovery that their menfolk are turned on by things that they might find uncomfortable or even disturbing. Finally, the fringe elements of porn are more than enough to bother anyone who isn't already psychologically broken, as there is porn to cater to anyone, no matter how twisted. I would like to note that judging any form of expression by it's extreme elements isn't logically valid, however.
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reader, chigirl +, writes (24 August 2011):
Then again, I must add, I've watched porn with my mom, so it takes a bit to rock my core.
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reader, chigirl +, writes (24 August 2011):
You're not alone. I watch porn myself, and although I can go without it's not something I see as harmful, and it makes masturbation easier. So as you can understand I've never seen the problem with a man using porn as well. I take it he uses it for the same reasons as me, and I know that my porn usage is not a threat to my relationships. So why should his?
I've watched porn a few times with a boyfriend I had years ago, but with the recent boyfriends I've had it's not been something we feel a need to watch together. I'm curious about what they watch, but that's just because it is sort of "secret" and makes it intriguing. Not because I am anywhere near jealous of it. In fact, so far they have all given me more or less boring answers (they like slow and passionate sex with normal looking ladies), haha! I wouldn't mind at all meeting a man with a fetish or weird porn interests, that'd make it all the more interesting.
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reader, maverick494 +, writes (24 August 2011):
I'm not bothered by it either (as I said in the thread person1234 mentioned) but I know a lot of women are. Some even view it as cheating. That to me, is kinda ridiculous, but if someone feels that way, that's just how they feel and what I may or may not think of it won't solve that problem for them. Opinions differ.
The usual situation when women threatened by porn post questions here on DC is that they are in a relationship with a man who likes to watch it and doesn't understand their objections. If both --regardless on whether their opinion is 'right' or 'wrong'-- can't see it from each other's POV, the relationship is doomed. They both need to communicate well to make the other understand their view on it. They can move forward from there.
So, OP, for you not to be bothered by porn, I think it's a positive thing because it's one less hurdle to overcome. Some women literally let porn ruin their lives and that's not necessarily the fault of porn, but the way their mind is wired.
The only point where porn would become a problem for me is if it has become an addiction or if he's watching questionable material from shady sites.
And to the argument that porn is harmful for men, I disagree. If the man is addicted to porn and views this as his reference point for sex, something is definitely wrong. Because a lot of porn is just that--sex, nothing more. But a man who simply watches porn from time to time to get off, I don't see the harm in that. Plus these days there's a lot of porn out there where they do show affection for each other. It all depends on which site you're on, which tags you use in the search bar and what you prefer. If you look for it, it's there.
Still, it's a touchy subject for many. Just like to some men, the use of vibrators and sex toys makes them feel threatened. I don't get that either but that's just my opinion and if I've learned something it's that often when it comes to these things, people can't really help how they feel, not without making a conscious effort.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): I do not see anything wrong with a guy watching it, but then I watch porn on my own without my BF, so for me it is not a problem and never would be. Porn is fun and can be a great way to add some spice to a relationship. It is not cheating, what is, is your partner going off and sleeping with another woman (that happened to me) Now the comment below about the dangers of porn I agree with. The said BF, didn't believe in being faithful just sex and was an avid porn watcher. Sex for him was like in these films and he grew up obsessed with porn... He now will never settle down and does not believe in one woman, more all women and falls for every woman he goes for, but on his sexual terms... so no nothing wrong with watching it, but porn itself can be dangerous as it shows that you can have sex without love and many men now just want that.
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reader, person12345 +, writes (24 August 2011):
Nearly this exact question was just asked:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-some-women-feel-so-bad-if.html
But basically the majority of women do have a problem with it and that doesn't make them bad people or wrong. For those who say it's cheating, it doesn't really matter whether he's physically in bed with them, because he's doing as much as he can to pretend he is. I mean think about it, how often have you heard guys say they use porn to prevent cheating (it doesn't)? It must be a close enough replica that they can think so.
What starguy says is very true in that most porn doesn't show people who even seem to like each other, they don't even seem to be enjoying themselves. Less than 10% of porn even shows affection (like smiling, laughing, compliments) whereas 88.2% contains violence.
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reader, starguy +, writes (24 August 2011):
I find it hard to believe women are threatened by porn, when the bulk of most porn contains... women. As the starring, leading actors even.
I think what women are threatened by, and should be... at least aware of... is that porn can be very harmful to men, reducing and deteriorating their desires for something real and emotionally satisifying... like sex inside of love... for something cheap and worthless that porn represents... nothing but sex for sex's sake.
How much porn do you see where the two people in the porn... are in love with each other? Its very rare, and the exception, even the hint of it. Instead porn feeds men and women a diet of sex and lust for sex's sake, with love entirely absent from the interaction. Do you see the actors come back for seconds? Do you see them become a couple, go on dates afterwards, hang out together, do other things besides have sex, get married even? Never in porn.
If you've ever had sex just for sex's sake, afterwards, you find it was empty, and you regret it, and it leaves you more hungry for love and a human connection than you were before. Porn is like a soft drink.. its sugary, caffeinated, a quick drink, but totally devoid of anything of any nutritional value to the soul at all. And like soft drinks, there are no warnings on it.
I'm not against porn, but there should be a warning label on it, and you should be aware of all that is... missing... from porn.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): No, you are certainly not the only one not bothered by porn. I'm not bothered by it, either. The way I see it, it's just 2 dimensional images. And women who get insecure over such images are being foolish as those women shown in mainstream porn are altered in many ways, from breast implants to surgery on their genitals (labiaplasty), have loads of makeup and hair extensions, artificial tans, and the list goes on. Why on earth would a woman be jealous of that? If it's because her boyfriend or husband looks at those plastic women and gets turned on by them, then he's an even bigger fool than his girlfriend or wife. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to realize those women are fake. And all women would have to do to end their insecurities is dump the sac of shit they're with, and find a real man who likes real women. Yes, believe it or not, there are men out there who are not into women who are anorexic skinny with huge fake tits and no labia.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): I've never been that bothered about it either and the same as you, can't see the huge deal about it.
I have a best friend who always complains to me about her boyfriend watching it, it drives her crazy.
I think it's silly how women would refer it as 'cheating'. But I can understand the annoyance of it though, because in reality, the majority of men are actually getting off from looking at this woman having sex, looking at her in a non-friendly way. And obviously, it's never nice doing this when you have a girlfriend as they probably think their husband/boyfriend wish to be with someone that is like that, which is normally the complete opposite person to who they're with.
I think the main reason why it doesn't really bother me is because I know my boyfriend loves me and I know how much he finds me attractive, so I don't feel threatened by it.
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reader, Stayc63088 +, writes (24 August 2011):
 Personally I think it is an insecurity issue with women who hate it. It's like their bf/husband is really attracted to the women on the screen, which most normal women could never look like. I think it's a worry that the man wishes they could have that but can't. I used to watch porn and enjoy it, more than most men I feel like. But when I was with an ex he was so disgusting about watching it in secret and looking up webcam girls, lying etc that it has put me off ever since. I now hate porn and am incapable of enjoying it or even watching it anymore. That's just my sitaution though. I wish I could go back to normal but I am scarred. Oh well.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): I think it probably depends on different attitudes to sex and the indivdual's circumstances, but personaly I don't have a problem with it, feel threatened, grossed out, or anything of that nature. I think if it is causing problems in a relationship then the woman (or man) has the right to be angry about it, but I don't think 'viewing porn' in itself should be the actual problem.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): Porn has never bothered me either, and I have watched it with partners past and current. Like you, I see it as harmless, because it's not like my boyfriend is going to track these women down and have sex with them. Used the right way, I find it a great way to spice things up a bit in the bedroom.
I think many of the women who object so strongly to porn are just a bit insecure because their bodies don't match the fake and airbrushed "actresses" in the videos. The thing is, unless a woman has never fantasized sexually about someone other than her partner, it's somewhat hypocritical to condemn porn. The only difference between a porn movie and a completely imagined fantasy is that the porn plays out in a visual medium... which MAKES SENSE, because most men are visual!
HOWEVER*** If the porn is actually affecting their sex lives, i.e. their partners would rather watch porn than have sex, the dislike becomes a more legitimate complaint. At that point, I wouldn't approve either.
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reader, Jen1689 +, writes (24 August 2011):
 I'm definitely not threatened by porn in any form or fashion. I watch it myself, and although I do not watch it with my fiance, I'm not at all bothered that he watches it on his own. Women who freak out over porn have major security issues. Why else would you be threatened by women your man can't even have the chance to communicate with?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): I think this is a great perspective on the topic!
There are different aspects I would think of that influence someones behavior/thoughts on the subject. Being exposed to it is definitively one of them. Sex, overall, has been affected by societies institutions as church and laws, telling what should or should not be done in the bedroom. As media outlets expand, people are able to be influenced by other schools of thought that are more liberal towards sexuality. Hence my grandma never saw sex on tv or the internet and had a very specific point of view that would definitively see porn as something "gross only perverts do". Heck.. even I think there are some nasty things out there!! lol
Now, on a more psychological note, I believe there are several objections a person could have. If your partner is constantly seeing porn, and this is affecting your relationship in any way (he is hiding to do it; he asks for things you do not want to do; he compares you to the movies), then I would say it is really important to sit down and negotiate. This could have horrible effects on a relationship and self value of the non watching partner.
Summing up, I think it should be a case to case call. I have no objections of my hubby seeing porn with or without me, because I know he loves real sex with me better (and I work to keep it that way), and also because he is very reassuring and communicative about it. However, I could understand plenty of other situations where it could be trouble!!
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2011): I do not feel threatened bu it either. As far as there is nothing "weird" and non-acceptional I find it actually educational and helpfull for personal sex-life. I was in realtionship in which we watched together on regular basis after midnight sex show on Bravo and it was fun. It gave us something to talk about openly and I learned from it a lot too.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 August 2011):
 I watch it with my man I'm not bothered by it at all. I'm not bothered by him looking at other women either... he loves me.. I'm the one in his bed not them.
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