A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in need of some serious help. I think I'm incapable of having an orgasm. When I have sex it feels good of course, but seems like no matter what is done I just can't orgasm. Even when I masturbate I can't seem to orgasm. I've tried toys of all sorts and I've tried different things with the few people I've been with. I just don't know what to do anymore. How can I bring myself to orgasm?
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female
reader, KittieS  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 You need to relax, I think fir most women until you get there on your own you won't experience with a partner.As a woman in my mid thirties ive completed a lot of solo missions and only now find I can reach the big O through penetrative sex alone.Suggest, hot bath, candles, low music, low lighting, indulge yourself in nice smelling cream and love yourselfStroke your body, learn what feels nice take time to lie on your bed and stretch out your arms, think about you and making you feel nice.Try vibrators all over your body before the main event and just experiment, maybe read erotic literature (easy foundbon the web - de tails.com has some more lady friendly literature) dont expect to reach climax, the first time it happened for me took a massive twenty minutes and I felt tense at letting it happen, and thought was that it then no it happened and when it does your know!Love yourself, enjoy yourself your get there but 100% there is nothing wrong with you x
A
female
reader, Koala Bear  +, writes (15 September 2011):
 For some women the mental and emotional connection has to be there before she can reach orgasm. In other words, ANYTHING can cause a mental blockage and prevent you from climaxing. Self-esteem can easily keep you from relaxing. At least for me, when I feel at my sexiest is when I can achieve a climax. Maybe its not what you try, but how you approach it. Have a ritual for an intimate session. Get yourself prepared so you feel sexy from head to toe. Get ride of all negative thoughts so you are ready to receive stimulation. In the end if that still doesn't work, then just give it time. It took me forever before I had my first one too.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2011): Don't worry about it, I was with my first boyfriend for a while and all he used to say to me after sex was "did you have an orgasm?" and I had to lie to make him feel good. I didn't have my first orgasm until 2 years ago, before that I didn't even know a clitoral orgasm existed! So relax, enjoy yourself and it happen soon enough :)
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (14 September 2011):
 How many toys have you tried? I had to try five different vibrators before I found one that got me there easily. Then once I learned/felt how, I had a much easier time trying other things and eventually got to the point of having them actually during sex (meaning with very little stimulation). I didn't have my first until I was 20 even though I'd been having sex for several years and masturbating.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 September 2011): I'm 26 and I didn't have my first orgasm till I was 21. I had been with the same guy since I was 18 and was having a lot of sex. It took a long time to figure it out. Once you do, it gets easier and easier.
You just need to learn your body, let go, focus harder when it's more intense and not change anything until you finish.
Every body is different, I have friends my age who have never had one. One of them just recently (25) had her first.
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