A
female
age
30-35,
*enizli
writes:Hi Everyone.Well this is the situation. I've been dating this guy for 3 years approximately.I'm in love with him deeply and he loves me too like no ones ever loved me before. Our relationship is just like any other, we fight sometimes but we always make up, we have ups and downs but most of time I feel very happy with him and I feel in my heart he's the one for me, I really never had a doubt.I'm 18 right now and he's 22. I just started college last week, and I've realized I won't have much time left to see him soon. I didn't know what college would be like but now I'm in it I realized it takes a lot of people's time and mind, so it makes it hard to keep a full time relationship like ours.He's studying on the distance but he'll start studying at school after christmas. My schedule at school is 15-21 everyday. This last week I saw him before school but since it was the first week it wasn't so complicated, but now I'm getting to see how college really works I think I won't be able to handle these two things.You might be thinking this is just another teenage relationship but it's him what I'm living for and the guy I wanna spend the rest of my life with, but on the other hand I also wanna finish college and get a good job afterwards.I'm used to see my boyfriend 5+ hours a day everyday and now with college I could only see him on the weekends because I will have tons of homework and things to do on the weekdays, I don't wanna lose him but I feel this is too much for me.Both school and my relationship are too demmanding and I feel like suffocated. I don't wanna lose him but now I'm at the point where I have to choose between a man and my career.I don't know what to do. Should I drop college and marry this guy? or should I just leave this relationship behind and move on?Any advice will be appreciated
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): OH & Stay in the relationship! There's really no point in throwing something so special away because you're going to college, just don't leave college behind either! (: x
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 September 2011): I'm honestly in a same sort of situation as my boyfriends leaving for uni & I'm pretty much in love with him too so I know exactly where you're coming from.
You want to spend the rest of your life with this person, correct?
Then this is one of the biggest challenges you're ever going to face. Go to college & get your degree, you're not going to be at college for the rest of your life but you'll need to go to do what you want in life!
Yes it is going to hurt & you will miss him more than anything I know, but then not only are you doing what you want to get a good job but you'll prove to yourself that you can still be without him & love him all the same, "absence makes the heart grow fonder" and if you're both in love now then it definitely will grow fonder
Something that'll always help is to grasp onto the future with him, talk about what you're going to do after & things like moving in with eachother, it'll make you more hopeful for it to happen
Honestly I wish you the best of luck with this & I really hope you go college & marry him after (:
Ever need someone to talk to about this I'm here, just message me & I'll be the best of help I can (: x
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (11 September 2011):
 I didn't realize it was 1940 where a woman had to drop out of school in order to get married. Yes you have to spend less time with him in order to go to school. But so what? I don't mean to sound rude, but someone who spends all their time following their partner around and giving up everything they're interested in to do so sounds like an incredibly dull person.
Unless this has to be a long term long distance arrangement, there is no reason you have to choose between school and your relationship. As long as you're able to make some time to see him, there's absolutely no reason that you should have to choose. Yes, you'll have to spend a bit less time together. But that's often a good thing in that you're a) giving yourself time to miss him and b) allowing yourself to learn new things and develop new interests (and thus becoming more interesting as a person). There's absolutely nothing wrong with spending less time together while you pursue one of the most important things you'll ever do with your life (your education). My guess is he's proud of you more than anything else.
Lots of people have great relationships in college. Yes, there's more going on, but that's what life is like. The change from high school to college is a big one. When you have jobs you'll both be apart at least 8 hours a day, plus commuting time, plus social activities. It's really tough to find a good balance at first, it feels incredibly overwhelming compared to high school. But after a few months there you'll see that it's very easy to fit in a personal life alongside your education and work life. I think you can easily make this work if you two love each other.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): I know how you feel, but good news: you don't have to do either. You can still date him and go to college no problem. It will take some time adjusting to a new schedule, and of course you two will miss each other, but it will be ok if you communicate. Send him texts during the week or occasionally call him to let him know you are thinking of him. Now that you are in college, though, graduation is your main focus. You simply need to find a balance between studying and time with your boyfriend and friends, etc. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (11 September 2011): Why cant you do both, still marry this guy and go to college, if he loves you then he wont leave you, and if you love him then you will stay together.
Im in your age group 20, my gf lives 3 hours away, I see her only a few hours a week now but we stay in contact all the time, im even marrying her this year, i am also going to uni next year. We just talked about our situation and found we are both willing to stay together and not leave each other over education.
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