| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 2 September 2011: Actually Chigirl the majority of women hate it (55-60%) and only between 25-30% of women watch it and many of those only watch it with their partner, not alone. Some men do feel extremely upset about their female partners watching it, sometimes even ... (read in full...)
How I can I work around my feelings so that I don't end up fired?
Q. Hello, I started a new job a little over a month ago. I love it a lot and definitely do not want to have to quit. However, I am extremely attracted to one of my managers ( the one that hired me no less!!) Whenever she's around I can feel my hea...
A. 29 August 2011: Try to not joke around about being in love with her and such, and try to just keep your distance. Sounds like she really likes you as a friend, but try to keep it that way unless she makes a move on you.... (read in full...)
I'm obsessed with my teacher and I've been harrasing her by e-mail
Q. Okay there is this teacher that I am like really obsessed with and I harass her lot on email sending her stuff saying I love her I'm not a lesbian or anything it's just every time I see her at school I just think she's everything. I know it's ...
A. 29 August 2011: This is a surprisingly common problem for teen girls actually, especially if you have a parent who's an alcoholic. You need to go see a therapist to work out the underlying issue to figure out why you feel this kind of need. Even once you are no ... (read in full...)
Why does cheating thrill me?
Q. Why does the thought and act of cheating thrill me? I have cheated on my gf twice now both times on purpose. I still love her but I like to cheat I don't want to hurt her....
A. 29 August 2011: How does this sound: It thrills me to poke people with sharp sticks, but I don't like hurting people. It's similar to what you just said. If you don't want to hurt your girlfriend, then stop hurting her. Just because you like cheating doesn't mean ... (read in full...)
Made my boyfriend cum by lying on top of him?
Q. I made my boyfriend cum, and he said it was because i was on top of him, (we were just kissing) and i didnt think a boy could cum from just being on top of him. Or is there something else to it? ...
A. 28 August 2011: Some men experience premature ejaculation, so if he got really excited it could happen.... (read in full...)
Do I support her in her wish to work in the porn industry? OrI find reasons to help her decide against it?
Q. She says she wants to do porn.. my fiance is a very beautiful woman however due to her past (abusive mother and a father who was never there) she has almost no self esteem and because of that was often taken advantage of by men when she sought l...
A. 28 August 2011: Well you could try to tell her that the average woman in porn only stays in the industry for three months due to the physical and mental toll, so her expectation of a year or two is not realistic. While there she'll be expected to perform anal ... (read in full...)
QWEEFING!!!!! help me
Q. heyy everyone, well its a well known fact that every woman qweefs :( ive recently discovered this. i was hoping some people might be able to tell me how they prevent qweefing during intercourse. What positions are more likely to make you qweef and ...
A. 28 August 2011: Doggy style is more likely to make this happen then others. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do other than laugh it off when it happens. I find it helps to squeeze your thighs together right after he pulls out and roll over without adjusting ... (read in full...)
Does wearing a condom interfere with a man's sexual pleasure?
Q. I am just being curious. I went out with a guy and he told me that he does not like to wear condom when he have sex as it diminishes his sexual pleasure. So, I always wanted to know, does wearing a condom interferes with a man's sexual pleasure? Is ...
A. 27 August 2011: You know what makes sex even less fun? Pregnancy and STDs. Yes condoms lessen the sensation for most (all?) guys, but you shouldn't be risking your health to make something fun a bit more fun, especially when it's mostly only your health being ... (read in full...)
Can 14 negative pregnancy tests be wrong?
Q. Can 14 negative pregnancy urine tests be wrong. I just want to know if it's possible to get 14 consecutive tests wrong and nothing else. I'd appreciate some feedback, thank you....
A. 26 August 2011: If you take them all at the same time and that time is too early to tell, then sure.... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to move away to attend my dream school or stay here to be near my boyfriend and so mom won't need to pay for an apartment for me
Q. This isn't a relationship question per se, but I am at a crossroad in my life, and would greatly appreciate any advice. I'm 22 years old, going to college full-time. I'm pursuing a career in medicine, and hope to attend medical school to become...
A. 25 August 2011: It sounds to me mostly like you're scared of changing things, moving away from your family, dog, and fiancé. Everyone gets scared when these big life changes happen, but you don't want to give up on an amazing opportunity just because you're ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 25 August 2011: Interesting choice of words below that women "let" themselves be hurt. No mention of partners who knowingly cause hurt. Feeling hurt is an involuntary function, extremely difficult to change. Hurting someone is a voluntary function, very easy to ... (read in full...)
I don't know whether to move away to attend my dream school or stay here to be near my boyfriend and so mom won't need to pay for an apartment for me
Q. This isn't a relationship question per se, but I am at a crossroad in my life, and would greatly appreciate any advice. I'm 22 years old, going to college full-time. I'm pursuing a career in medicine, and hope to attend medical school to become...
A. 24 August 2011: It would seriously affect your chances of getting into a good medical school to not go to a great undergraduate program. If you are serious about your career then you need to go to the better school if you're able to.
Can your fiancée move wit... (read in full...)
Did I insult him by asking if he's gay?
Q. If you think a guy might possibly be gay and after you decide to ask him about it and he blows up at you and doesn't want to speak to you anymore. Is that an admission or did I insult him?...
A. 24 August 2011: Oh. Well that changes things a lot because then it IS your business. If you're still dating (you used past tense so I assume not?) you should try sitting him down in a calm way and asking directly, but not aggressively. Explain why you think that. ... (read in full...)
Am I the only woman not threated by porn?
Q. I just read an article about porn here on DC so it made me interested to post a question. Am I the only woman who is not threatened by porn? I mean, I read a lot of questions here about it, of ladies breaking up with their boyfriends and w...
A. 24 August 2011: Nearly this exact question was just asked:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-do-some-women-feel-so-bad-if.html
But basically the majority of women do have a problem with it and that doesn't make them bad people or wrong. For those who sa... (read in full...)
How do I curb my wish to check on him? I want to quit doing this
Q. How do i change myself to where i don't check up on him so much? I didn't mean to make him think that I distrust him or that i am "checking up" on him. I just tend to get worried about him and want to make sure he is ok. I trust him completely ...
A. 24 August 2011: You need to keep yourself occupied. Find a hobby, go out with friends, go for a walk, learn a new skill, do whatever you can to just take your mind off it. Idleness is what tends to cause this kind of insecurity in that as you sit around, your mind ... (read in full...)
Did I insult him by asking if he's gay?
Q. If you think a guy might possibly be gay and after you decide to ask him about it and he blows up at you and doesn't want to speak to you anymore. Is that an admission or did I insult him?...
A. 24 August 2011: Generally just asking about someone's sexuality is kind of just something you don't do unless you're very close. Especially if someone is in the closet (sounds like it, like you hit a nerve), it's just not really your business. I'd do exactly what ... (read in full...)
He said I'm loose down there and now I'm really worried!
Q. Hey please help me... Ive recently lost my viginity (on holiday with my bf this week) and he is larger than normal. At first he said i was loose however i explained that i have been very experiemental in my past. however after 3 days of sex he...
A. 23 August 2011: It means the first time you weren't as aroused and are getting more turned on most likely. Until you have children your vagina doesn't stretch out or loosen. You can have sex a million times and your vagina will not be any larger or looser than the ... (read in full...)
My BF has asked me to use a strap-on for him. I don't want to!
Q. For background, my entire romantic life has been full of men who did not make me feel womanly. I happen to be a more forward/blunt person and that has resulted in me being the one who "wears the pants" in every relationship except my current one. I...
A. 21 August 2011: You shouldn't end a relationship just because of one fantasy that makes the other uncomfortable. You'll both have fantasies throughout your relationship that the other is unwilling to try, and that's OK. You have the right to decline. Maybe you ... (read in full...)
Why do some women feel so bad if their man watches porn?
Q. I ask this question as I'm fed up seeing questions about porn coming up frequently and women complaining about their men watchin it. I'm 26, I've had 3 serious relationships and each man has loved to watch porn. Sometimes I've watched it with the...
A. 21 August 2011: Where do I begin... First to clear up misconceptions, women who are against porn aren't necessarily prude. When you look at highly religious populations you find identical percentages looking at porn. To say people who dislike porn are prude implies ... (read in full...)
Guys - which is best - your woman or porn?
Q. A question for the straight guys: If your girlfriend/wife gave you the ultimatum to choose between her and porn, which would you choose? Regardless of her reason, would you choose her if you knew that you would never be allowed to look at porn...
A. 21 August 2011: I'm not a guy, but I know quite a lot about this subject. Simple answer, it's not that simple. Porn is addictive, and even to people who aren't addicted in the sense of being unable to get aroused by live people, it sounds like there's a bit of that ... (read in full...)
Is there anyone genuine on the internet?
Q. Has anybody met anyone genuine on the internet? I have met some really rude people and am beginning to wonder if it's me. Met one guy who sent me an email with bullet points saying why he didn't want to meet again. Another guy brought 3 con...
A. 21 August 2011: My cousin met his wife on an internet dating site. They're been married for five years and have two very cute kids and seem very happy together.
I've never personally met anyone, but you just have to keep persevering. Also maybe have a friend l... (read in full...)
He talks to me every day but won't ask me out. Should I stop contact?
Q. Hi, I have been in constant contact via text and phone with this guy I met through work. We are always texting or phoning each other and occasionally have a coffee or lunch. We are very flirty with each other and it is def more than. friends, if I ...
A. 21 August 2011: It's 2011. The guy doesn't have to make the first move anymore. Why don't you ask him out? He's probably just shy.... (read in full...)
What do guys think of girls with tattoos?
Q. Question for guys please..what do you think of girls with tattoos?!? I'm 33, attractive and single and I have 2 tattoos, one tribal design on my lower back and some writing down my wrist. Both are small and plain black. However I'm worried it puts ...
A. 19 August 2011: Just as women are not a homogenous group of like-minded people, neither are men. There will be some men who love tattoos, some men who dislike them. But if you find the right guy for you, they will accept you for who you are. You don't want to ... (read in full...)
How often do people have sex after being together 5 years or more?
Q. hi guys i was just wondering how often people have sex in a longterm relation ship of over 5 years. I undertand sex slows down but has ours lost to much ...
A. 19 August 2011: There's no such thing as normal. Some people have sex daily, some once a week, some once a month. It doesn't really matter what other people are doing, what matters is whether you're both happy with the amount, and clearly you're not.
You need to ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend teases me about having sex but then doesn't follow through
Q. I am a 19 year old virgin guy and I have a great girlfriend though she isn't a virgin oh well. One thing i am haveing a problem with is that she teases me and then when we are about to have sex we stop and she says sorry to me. We were about to have ...
A. 19 August 2011: Sounds like she enjoys making out with you and being sexual with you but isn't ready for sex. Why don't you talk about it?... (read in full...)
Found out he's looking at porn, feeling very insecure. what to do??
Q. I found out my boyfriend looked at younger women in porn and now I'm embarrassed to be naked in front of him. This is the first relationship I've been in where I actually felt GREAT about sex. I was excited by the sight of him and initiated re...
A. 19 August 2011: Glad I could help!... (read in full...)
Porn: sometimes it's helpful
Q. I’ve read countless posts about porn. Women saying porn is killing their self-image, ruining their relationships. Men replying that it just goes with the territory, get over it. By and large the women having a problem with porn are young (18-25)....
A. 18 August 2011: So basically from this discussion and the question we can all see that porn is just putting a band-aid over an infection in the sense that it masks it, but doesn't fix it.
I think you should try talking to your wife about this and what you can ... (read in full...)
Why don't I feel anything during oral? And how can I tell my girlfriend without hurting her?
Q. Hay people, I need some help. Me and my girlfriend are great but there is something that bothers me. Its nothing bad but I would like to correct it. We have great sex and I love giving her oral and she loves giving it to me but I can never ...
A. 18 August 2011: I'm guessing the taking awhile during sex and feeling very little during oral are connected. Some guys just have a harder time getting there, and that's OK. It's not required that you love oral sex, if that doesn't do it for you, that's OK. Focus on ... (read in full...)
How long should I wait for the right person before I just accept there's no such thing as a perfect first time?
Q. im 17, i'll be 18 in march and ive just come out of a relationship of 3 months. im also a virgin. i thought my last boyfriend was the right person to lose it to and i told him i was a virgin and that i wanted to lose it to him. he was fine with it ...
A. 18 August 2011: Any guy who tells you "you gotta lose it sometime" to try to talk you into sex probably isn't the right guy. Trust your gut. It will feel right eventually. You only get one first time. I just "got it over with" and while I don't regret it, I wish I ... (read in full...)
I'm almost 17 and my breasts haven't developed yet!
Q. Hey, I´m 16 almost 17 and my breasts haven´t developed at all, it makes me so embarrased and i wonder if they´ll ever grow. Has this happened to anyone? I just dont feel comfortable going to the beach or anything. Any advice? ...
A. 18 August 2011: If you mean they're small, breasts don't stop developing until you're like 24. I had an A cup until I was 17 and then they grew to a C during college. But if you mean literally nothing at all and you're not extremely thin, you may want to see a ... (read in full...)
Why do people think its okay to berate women who sleep with married men?
Q. I'm so fed up reading people taking the moral high ground on every topic, especially that of married cheats and 'home wreckers' There is so much contraversy surrounding cheating at the moment on this site and I would like to express my views as...
A. 17 August 2011: Because they're the ones asking questions on here? When the married man or married woman comes on here asking if they should cheat they get berated much more. But as far as "berating" people asking if they should be the other woman or man, it's ... (read in full...)
Am I too controlling?
Q. My boyfriend says im controlling. We both have very different views on the world and the way to act in a relationship. He told me he cheated on me in the first year and i said id forgive him because i knew he was in a bad place and had just broken ...
A. 17 August 2011: Like YouWish said, he lost his privileges to be defensive about cozying up to girls when he cheated. I don't think you're being controlling at all. The very fact that you took him back after he cheated is something he should be grateful for, not ... (read in full...)
Texting a guy who already has a girlfriend.....is this wrong?
Q. I know this may seem obvious and I'm sure most of you will right away say it is wrong and I shouldnt be texting him, but let me give you the full story and please reserve your judgement until then! I met a guy on Saturday night whilst out with ...
A. 17 August 2011: I'm wondering what your intentions are though, really. Logically, you know he has a girlfriend and you don't want to wreck that. But deep-down I'm guessing those feelings are still there and you're hoping it will somehow evolve into something. But ... (read in full...)
My BF seemed to forget my hospital appointment. Am I being over sensitive, or does he not really care?
Q. Dear all, Please can you tell me if I am over analyzing or reading into this. I have been with my BF for around coming up to six months now. I told him over the weekend, I have an important hospital appointment on tuesday. I saw him on the sunda...
A. 17 August 2011: Insensitive, yes. Intentionally hurtful, no. I think since he sincerely apologized you shouldn't read into it too much. It's understandable feeling hurt, but I don't think he purposefully ignored you. Unless the appointment was for something ... (read in full...)
What do girls think of guys who offer to buy them drinks?
Q. Ok this isnt really a relationship question but it is related to boy-girl stuff. A friend of mine told me the other night that he has never bought a girl a drink--he says that its basically like prostitution, paying a girl to like you. This struck ...
A. 17 August 2011: No, not like a prostitute. But I guess in a sense you are buying yourself a chunk of time to talk because some women will feel guilty rejecting someone who bought something for them. It's a polite/nice offer though, and old-fashioned in a good way.... (read in full...)
She asked me out for coffee, but is she wanting sex?
Q. Can everyone tell me why a MARRIED woman has just asked me out for coffee??? I am married, too. Is she looking to start an affair with me or could she just like me as a friend only? Is there something wrong with two married people going out for ...
A. 17 August 2011: No, there's nothing weird about going for coffee. Maybe she just wants to start a friendship.... (read in full...)
Is it ok to masturbate during pregnancy?
Q. My question's very short. I'm 8 weeks pregnant and live miles away from my fiance (who's the father of my babe). I miss sex so much and always find myself masturbating. Is masturbating harmful to me and or my unborn baby?...
A. 17 August 2011: Go for it! You can also have sex so long as you're not a high risk pregnancy.... (read in full...)
I've spotted a cute new guy. Will he think I'm a stalker if I add him on facebook?
Q. So theres this guy, who was friends with 1 of my exes who had came up to me(usually does talk to me if im near) and said hey and asked me for a hug....which he had never asked before. He even was walking all the way to my class with me. (If it wasnt ...
A. 17 August 2011: Add him! Why not? I once added a random super hot guy from a bar on facebook who I'd never met before that and we ended up dating for a couple months. Sounds like this guy is attracted, I bet it would make him happy to have you add him. It might ... (read in full...)
I'm confused. She gave me her number and now won't answer?!
Q. So, a couple days ago at work this group comes in. I'm behind the desk so I help everyone. Consequently I sing really well so from time to time i sing to customers and at some point during the night, must have sung to this girl because she came up ...
A. 17 August 2011: Sometimes people just feel bad saying no to someone's face. It's cowardly, but she probably thought you seemed nice and didn't want to seem mean or something (girls are usually taught not to directly confront people). My guess is she never planned ... (read in full...)
My brother walked in on us having sex. Now its awkward. What should I do??
Q. This is quite a long story but please stick with it. A few days ago, my boyfriend was away doing preseason training with his and my brothers team. They are both professional rugby players so are away a lot training and playing etc. Anyway, i h...
A. 16 August 2011: Unfortunately there's nothing you can do. Definitely don't go try to talk to him about it. That will just make it worse, no matter what you say. You're just going to have to let it be awkward for awhile and it will fade with time. Like BettyBoup ... (read in full...)
Do men mind a woman who has asymetrical breasts?
Q. Can I have help from just guys please? I have breasts that are slightly asymetrical not by much like a cup size. They are both pert and the rest of my body is toned and in proportion. I just want to know if guys really mind if my boobs arent th...
A. 15 August 2011: Almost all women's breasts are a different size. It would be far more abnormal to have perfectly symmetrical ones! No guy is going to be measuring and weighing them. Unless they're off by more than a cup size I doubt anyone looking on would be able ... (read in full...)
Found out he's looking at porn, feeling very insecure. what to do??
Q. I found out my boyfriend looked at younger women in porn and now I'm embarrassed to be naked in front of him. This is the first relationship I've been in where I actually felt GREAT about sex. I was excited by the sight of him and initiated re...
A. 15 August 2011: I highly recommend the book The Porn Trap (I recommend it to everyone in similar situations). It may help you both better understand what the other is going through. It's meant to be read through as a couple. I hope it helps.... (read in full...)
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