| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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He says his love is so pure that he cant even imagine me naked!
Q. Hey everyone, i need help. I am totally perplexed in this relationship of two years with this guy. He says that he loves me. I know that very well. I love him too. But i think, may be he loves me too much, far beyond my imagination. He is a nice...
A. 14 October 2011: Well some people actually feel like imagining other people naked is somehow a violation of their being. My current partner feels this way and the way we got around it was for me to "consent" to his fantasizing about me. My guess is it's not an issue ... (read in full...)
About Facebook and relationships
Q. While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
A. 14 October 2011: @anonymous_123, wow I'm glad I was able to help! It's so true about overestimating happiness though, psychologists are actually starting to see depression that stems from facebook overuse now, as in you see almost nothing but the happy from people ... (read in full...)
Is Implanon birth control the cause of my low sex drive and vaginal dryness ?
Q. I recently started using Implanon birth control and im starting to suffer from some vaginal dryness. It is also starting to diminish my sex drive. Is there anything I can do, or is there any type of medication that can help me out down there? ...
A. 14 October 2011: No unfortunately some forms of birth control have this effect on some women and the only thing you can do is switch to another form. The vaginal dryness can be dealt with with lube, but for the sex drive there's really nothing.... (read in full...)
I'm afraid my lack of interest in sex will drive him back to porn
Q. Me and my partner have been through a bit of a rough patch recently due to his porn habits! Everything has been great for the past 10 months apart from our sex life, I've completely lost interest which isn't like me. I'm scared that this will drive ...
A. 13 October 2011: This sounds like a very odd, and very common, negative feedback loop. On the one hand his porn use is making you lose your interest in him, on the other less sex probably makes him want more porn. Look if his porn use is destroying your ... (read in full...)
Girlfriend is not virgin! How do I forgive her?
Q. i have a relation with a girl since march 2011. after 2 months when she come to know that i love her, she told me that she is not virgin. she cried the whole night and told me that she was force by her ex-boyfriend when she was having a severe ...
A. 13 October 2011: So your girlfriend was incredibly sick and was raped basically going through the most traumatic event in her entire life and you want to know how to forgive her? For something horrible happening to her that was out of her control? And probably ... (read in full...)
Is this a normal FWB relationship?
Q. Hi everyone I was just wondering if this is a normal fwb relationship me and this man are having sex and we can't get enough of each other this has been going on since february we have a really good time together get on really well we are plan...
A. 13 October 2011: That definitely sounds like dating more than FWB.... (read in full...)
Cosmic Bad-Timing
Q. Why is it that whenever I like a girl they always like someone else or are in a relationship, and then when a girl likes me I like someone else? is there anything I could do to change this?...
A. 13 October 2011: Because frequently people already in a relationship or smitten with someone else give off confident cool happy vibes that are very attractive. It's not so much that you have bad timing as that you're attracted to the fact that they're attached.... (read in full...)
Are men okay with a bra on during sex?
Q. If a girl has messed up breasts and would prefer to keep her bra on during sex and not let you see them would you be okay with that?...
A. 13 October 2011: Messed up how? I can't really imagine a scenario where a woman's breasts were too ugly to be attractive. But if it's a really big thing for you, just tell him you'd feel more comfortable with a bra on at least until you trust him more. If he balks, ... (read in full...)
I think his wife told him to stay away from me
Q. He and I are both married and were friends. I have a strong suspicion that his wife has told him not to see me anymore and has essentially cut him out of my life. She thinks I am a big threat and does not like the fact that he is attracted to me. I ...
A. 13 October 2011: "I guess his wife wins in the end?"
"I really loved him and miss him as a friend. I guess deep down I'd hoped for more."
"She thinks I am a big threat and does not like the fact that he is attracted to me."
If you can't see why she didn't want ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is bringing back my feelings of inferiority toward other women!
Q. I can tell that my boyfriend likes pretty girls. Even though when he's with me, I caught him having a string of messages with a girl whom he told me often that she's good-looking. And he admits that she's got very good complexion and looks amazing. ...
A. 13 October 2011: Are we talking about friendly, or flirtatious messages? If it's the former, you need to realize he finds YOU beautiful. He's not with you because he can't be with them, he's with you because he thinks you're beautiful.
If it's the latter, dump thi... (read in full...)
Was I wrong for getting a lawyer? His custody demands and visitation nonsense are a problem!
Q. Going through an divorce, and its killing me. the problem is we cant agree on visitation. He calls at the last minute or he dont show or call. If I agree, he doesn't wasnt to tell me where my daughter will be. Im eight months ptegnant. He is not ...
A. 12 October 2011: You're right to get a lawyer. Custody battles can become nasty and difficult and you want a lawyer present to make sure everything's fair.... (read in full...)
Will my husband soon feel we are ready to have children?
Q. my husband and i have been married for about a year and been together for little over a year now.i'm 22 and he's 30. we both want kids at some point but had said we aren't ready. i'm on the pill, but i am starting to feel ready for us to be ...
A. 12 October 2011: You can't change his mind, and if you do/try he will resent you. If he's not ready, you aren't ready (by you I mean you as a couple). The best you can do is just ask him if he's ready and find out where he is on this. You can tell him you feel ... (read in full...)
Don't want mum to know I'm on the pill - how can I fake a period?
Q. This sounds like a stupid question, but there is a reason behind it. I'm 16, so please don't lecture me on legality. Myself and my boyfriend are planning on taking our relationship 'to the next level' soon, and decided to take some precautions- nei...
A. 12 October 2011: Why would you have to fake a period? Is your mom that paranoid that she goes through your garbage? If she is, just tell her you bought a menstrual cup and the blood goes down the toilet.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend has a need to always comment on attractive women he sees!
Q. I have an otherwise great relationship with my boyfriend of two years. We have a lot of fun and have lots of things in common. My family and friends think he is a great guy too. However there is one thing that really bugs me. Whenever we are ...
A. 12 October 2011: He's being an idiot, but clearly arguing about it isn't helping. There are two approaches. The first is to CALMLY talk it out. Don't yell at him and accuse him or he will just get defensive. Just say, calmly, that when he constantly draws attention ... (read in full...)
Deciding not to use condoms....how safe is the pill really?
Q. I've just started dating a new guy and have gone on the pill. We've both been checked out and are looking to not use condoms soon. I'm just worried about the possibility of getting pregnant. I know that the pill is 99.9999999% effective - but what ...
A. 12 October 2011: The pill is more effective than condoms, though IUDs are generally thought to be the most effective (also expensive). What you do really also depends on what would happen were you to get pregnant. You and your partner should talk that bit over since ... (read in full...)
No condom for anal sex? Is it safe?
Q. My boyfriend is my second boyfriend.. I am still virgin... and he is too. At this time, He wish something for his birthday. He wants anal sex :| at first I really do not agree about it but I love him I want to make him happy. I am a little bit ...
A. 12 October 2011: Don't agree to something you don't want to do sexually just because it's his birthday, especially if you haven't had regular sex yet. Buy him a sweater or something instead. I also find it incredibly insensitive that he says he's not even a little ... (read in full...)
What can I do besides kegels to stop this?
Q. omg. . .agony friends i need help. .its embarrasing though but you helped me before here.lately when i had sex my vagina farts when he pulls it out. It has never happened before.what can i do besides kegels?...
A. 12 October 2011: There's nothing you can do to stop it, it's called queefing. It happens when air is pushed into your vagina during sex. Deeper positions often make it worse (like doggy style). Unlike the other kind of fart, you can't hold this one in. You just need ... (read in full...)
She has my number but hasn't contacted me... Girls, how long before she might contact me?
Q. Im a 20 something guy and want to get female opinions on something. I know usually 'guy gets girl tel number and it goes from there' - but 3 days ago a situation happened - where I helped a girl in a tricky situation, and followed it up by writin d...
A. 12 October 2011: Sorry I don't think you'll hear from her. If she has a boyfriend, the odds go down from there.... (read in full...)
I masturbate a lot and I hate it. How can I stop?
Q. I am a girl and I masturbate. I'm a virgin and want to stay that way till marriage. I masturbate almost every night and anytime I'm alone which is usually a lot because my mom works. I even do it when my sister is in the house but she's never caught ...
A. 11 October 2011: So stop the porn, put a block on your phone or something. But there's nothing wrong with masturbation so long as it doesn't interfere with your life. Masturbation is both normal and healthy, nothing to feel bad about.... (read in full...)
It was nothing serious and he blew it out of proportion
Q. My partner caught me flirting on line. He had warned me several times to stop. I did for a while. He called round unexpectedly while i was in some erotic conversation. He has been a good father figure to my two teenage sons. After getting abusive he ...
A. 11 October 2011: You broke his heart and ruined his trust in you and basically cheated on him (cybering with others most would say is cheating). What did you expect? He told you to stop multiple times, you had lots of warning, and you continued to destroy his trust ... (read in full...)
Do you view oral sex as "less than" regular intercourse? Why?
Q. Do you view oral sex as "less-than" regular intercourse? I have dated a few girls in the past that readily admitted to giving head, but proudly stated they were still virgins. I have gone out with a few girls who blew me away, pun intended, by ...
A. 11 October 2011: It's because women who have a lot of sexual partners are frequently ostracized as "sluts" and deemed as having less worth than virgins or women with fewer sex partners. This way they can do what they want without being criticized/deemed less worthy.... (read in full...)
How can I learn to accept he wants someone else but still loves me?
Q. My partner has decided to start looking for other female company on chat sites. We got into a situation of our doing but I found I could not cope with the situation. He cannot understand that I have feelings that get hurt. It is destroying our ...
A. 11 October 2011: Why should you have to accept it? He should have to accept that he agreed to a monogamous relationship with you and if he can't deal, you leave him to his websites. Short of you telling him you want him to have another partner I cannot think of any ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for sex to feel different with/without a condom?
Q. dear cupid, soo, the first few times that i had sex, the guy used a condom. buuut there were a few times after that when he DIDN'T use a condom. please don't start lecturing me about how this is risky behavior and that i could wind up getting ...
A. 11 October 2011: First I'll respond to the second part of your question: yes it's normal for it to feel different for both of you. It probably hurts more because most condoms come with a bit of lube on them, whereas his bare skin does not. It could mean you need ... (read in full...)
Can a school nurse give a pregnancy test?
Q. Hi im 15 and i think i might be pregnant the last time i had sex was early september and i had a period since then but it was kind of weird. A little over a week after my period i started spotting and my bras are leaving marks on me i know its ...
A. 11 October 2011: That's great that she's doing that for you, be sure to thank her profusely and let her know what happens even if it's negative. I hope everything works out for you, and remember to use condoms next time.... (read in full...)
If Your Partner Is A Porn Watcher....
Q. What do you do when you've discovered that your partner has been watching/hiding porn? This is a question that many women, in particular, want answers to. Here's my view on it... -First,you should have a talk with him. As hard as it may b...
A. 10 October 2011: Biggest misconception around porn is that if women are hurt by it, they must just not understand. Given that every study I've ever seen on porn use in relationships finds a negative impact and that the majority of studies I've seen on porn use in ... (read in full...)
Can a school nurse give a pregnancy test?
Q. Hi im 15 and i think i might be pregnant the last time i had sex was early september and i had a period since then but it was kind of weird. A little over a week after my period i started spotting and my bras are leaving marks on me i know its ...
A. 10 October 2011: If you've had your period since you had sex, the chances of you being pregnant are INCREDIBLY unlikely. What is highly likely? You're going through puberty causing your breasts to grow and mood swings. Breasts will continue to grow into your 20's, ... (read in full...)
B/f recently told me that one of his girlfriend's was a prostitute! Now I cannot get the nasty image out of my head
Q. During an argument, my boyfriend of almost a year, revealed to me, that in his past,many years ago, that he had a girlfriend who was a hooker. He could see in my eyes how disgusted I was, and of course I said I wanted to vomit. Now, days later, I ...
A. 10 October 2011: Well I wouldn't consider being a prostitute cheating either since sex by coercion is rape and paying someone for sex is coercion. I only consider cheating to be consensual sexual activity. You claim to understand how many prostituted women are not ... (read in full...)
How to stop being jealous of husband's female friend?
Q. This is a short question: How do I get passed being angry and jealous of my husband having a picture of his female friend in her underware? How do I forgive him when he assures me she didn't give him the picture, and it was supposed to be f...
A. 7 October 2011: I don't care if it is just a joke, having around pictures of your attractive female friends in their underwear is not even a little bit acceptable for someone who is married. I'm not sure that's a dealbreaker, but I think not even apologizing for it ... (read in full...)
Am I doing the right thing by breaking up with my boyfriend?
Q. I'm breaking up with my boyfriend today, and I just need some support that I'm doing the right thing. My boyfriend and I have been together for two years. In January we moved in together. He and my other roommate really didn't like eachother and ...
A. 7 October 2011: You've identified what are your dealbreakers and found four of them in him. Sounds like you're doing the right thing.... (read in full...)
What does it mean when your boyfriend texts you "I will always love you" after an argument?
Q. What does it mean when your boyfriend texts you "I will always love you _____ (my name)"? We had an argument on the phone last night about his hot and cold behavior with me which has been pretty consistent throughout our entire relationship (pr...
A. 7 October 2011: Talk about more hot and cold behavior. Text him back and ask what he means, I wouldn't call yet.... (read in full...)
Guys, don't you feel it if a woman wants you? or you just give it a try anyway and try your luck?
Q. This is what I want to ask you guys and girls, but mostly guys: can you tell when you have a chance with a woman even for just that night, or are just men absolutely oblivious to the signs and you guys need to be told straight forward yes or no? ...
A. 7 October 2011: Some people are just have very bad awareness of their surroundings and other people, some people also just don't take no for an answer. My guess is that this guy just wasn't ready to give up. Next time you should tell him you are not interested off ... (read in full...)
Burning "down there"- Help!
Q. Hiya, i've just started university a few weeks ago and during freshers week I had a one night stand (actually it happened twice) and the condom split. Now i'm on the pill anyway, so that aspect is ok, but since then i've had a burning down below. ...
A. 7 October 2011: Could be irritation, a yeast infection, and STI, only a doctor can say for sure. I can't imagine your university doesn't have a clinic.... (read in full...)
I'm insecure about my inner lips ever since one guy said they looked weird!
Q. hi, so this is more of a body issue question.. I am 21 years old and I'm a virgin. I have had oral sex once a couple years back but it has really made me isecure. I have larger inner lips 'down there' (labia minora) and the guy I had oral s...
A. 7 October 2011: "my standard response to my man when he complains about my body is "you watch too much porn""
My thoughts exactly. Especially in regards to this area, there's no such thing as normal labia, they all look different. Some are "lopsided" some are... (read in full...)
Love bites: sexy or disgusting?
Q. Love bites, "hickeys", do you like giving them? Do you like receiving them? Do you find them a turn on or romantic? Or do you think they're silly or a way of "marking your territory"? Do you think they're hot or just plain gross? ...
A. 7 October 2011: I don't see the point. They hurt to get, they're not very sexy to give, and they look silly.... (read in full...)
Does this profile picture mean she's in a relationship?
Q. Hi. This girl I really like uploaded a profile picture on Facebook with her smiling in a photo with a boy. I'm not added as a friend so I can't see her relationship status. Does this mean that she's likely in a relationship? Why else would she u...
A. 7 October 2011: Could just be a friend. Why don't you add her as a friend and find out? Either that or ask her.... (read in full...)
Am I having a mid life crisis? It seems so important to increase the number of woman I have sex with. So would paying for it be a quick solution?
Q. I am single and am no spring chicken anymore, although Im not exactly geriatric either. In my life I havent really had many girlfriends and can count the number of sexual partners I've had on one hand. Im starting to feel that 'I've missed out...
A. 6 October 2011: Most men tend to overestimate the number of sex partners other men have had. In reality being able to count the number you've had on one hand is normal, with the average number of sex partners a man has had being between 5-7, which is no doubt ... (read in full...)
B/f recently told me that one of his girlfriend's was a prostitute! Now I cannot get the nasty image out of my head
Q. During an argument, my boyfriend of almost a year, revealed to me, that in his past,many years ago, that he had a girlfriend who was a hooker. He could see in my eyes how disgusted I was, and of course I said I wanted to vomit. Now, days later, I ...
A. 6 October 2011: Prostituted women are not dirty diseased scum, they are human beings just like you. You're acting like these women are subhuman and disgusting when the only difference between them and you is that they have less money and fewer options than you and ... (read in full...)
I'm 30 and have no sex drive.
Q. Hi, I am a 30 year old male I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and she is 26. I have a problem with sex. I just don't seem to want it that much, I can go a month without it and I don't know why? My girl ask me for sex all the time but I ...
A. 6 October 2011: Some people just have lower drives than others, it doesn't mean something is wrong. Is this a sudden change or have you always had a low drive? If anything stressful has happened that can make your sex drive go way down as well. I also wonder if you ... (read in full...)
My husband has given me STIs!
Q. I have been treated three times for STI's in the past five months. My husband claims he knows nothing of it. I have not slept with anyone else except him. I now insist we use condoms and he complains its not proper for people in marriage. Should i ...
A. 6 October 2011: STIs do not appear out of thin air. If all of sudden you have them and haven't been cheating on him, then he has to be.... (read in full...)
Women: How important is sex to you?
Q. WOMEN ONLY QUESTION............how important to you is sex? 1. I could take it or leave it 2. I love it 3. I only have sex as my partner wants to or 4. I hate it...
A. 6 October 2011: I love it. I hated it with other partners because it felt like a chore and their pleasure always came before mine. Like sex was an a performance/favor that I was expected to perform and would get something out of it once in awhile. But with my ... (read in full...)
B/f says he doesn't watch porn anymore but won't get rid of his collection!
Q. Hey there, So my bf and I have been together for about 9 months, and our relationship is great, sex is great, and we're pretty much best friends. I was just curious about his watching porn, so we talked about it. I'm not opposed to porn necessar...
A. 5 October 2011: It does unfortunately sound like he's lying about watching it.... (read in full...)
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