| Latest articles: About Facebook and relationships
This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Porn related questions
Q. A few questions.... Are there any lucky women here whose partner does not watch/use porn? Did you have to tell them to stop? Did they lose interest naturally, how long did it take? Why is it so vital to men that they get to masturbate over...
A. 25 March 2012: I'm the one who used the term "hyper-monogamist," in reference to my bf, not the OP.
But for reference, my bf does see a problem in thinking of other people while fantasizing because, I quote, "it means you find other people sexually attracti... (read in full...)
Should I break my 'don't date clients' rule for her?
Q. I'm a tattoo artist by profession and I believe that ethically I shouldn't date any client...But am I wrong? I'm absolutely crazy about a girl who's getting a tattoo off me in a few days...I've been refraining from asking her out on an actual date ...
A. 25 March 2012: I see your point, but I don't think there's an issue. I assume she's not getting your name tattooed there. If she really wants the tattoo, she'll still want it if you break up.... (read in full...)
Is looseness a sign of cheating?
Q. Okay I'm a young male around 18-21. My girlfriend lately has been very distance and when.we do have sex she feels loser. Is this a sign she is cheating?...
A. 25 March 2012: My first bf was huge, my vagina never changed. If someone had a penis bigger than a fist in diameter, I suppose maybe. But a vagina can stretch to the size of a baby's head and even then it still mostly bounces back, it's completely ridiculous to ... (read in full...)
Porn related questions
Q. A few questions.... Are there any lucky women here whose partner does not watch/use porn? Did you have to tell them to stop? Did they lose interest naturally, how long did it take? Why is it so vital to men that they get to masturbate over...
A. 24 March 2012: My partner doesn't watch, he didn't watch when we started dating. He's kind of a hyper-monogamist, which works fine for me. He's the one who brought up the topic and suggested neither of us use it. I find it extremely offensive when people suggest ... (read in full...)
Is there a good way to remove pubic hair?
Q. quick question, is there a best way to remove pubic hair? if i shave it i get wired spots there ...
A. 24 March 2012: I agree with So Very Confused. Fully shaved is stubbly, just trim it. Shaving is also not a good way to remove pubic hair.... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is choosing to masturbate to porn over having sex me!
Q. hi i am 21 and my partner is 23. we been together 6 months but known each other 8 yrs. i am a mum to a 4 yr old. me and my partner used to have sex all the time.....about 4/5 times a week, now everytime i go to touch him or blow him he pushes me ...
A. 24 March 2012: If someone became an alcoholic, would you blame yourself? No, it is NOT because of you, it is not your fault.... (read in full...)
Is looseness a sign of cheating?
Q. Okay I'm a young male around 18-21. My girlfriend lately has been very distance and when.we do have sex she feels loser. Is this a sign she is cheating?...
A. 24 March 2012: "Whenever there is a penis size discussion I hear women say their vaginas do adjust to fit a new guy's penis."
No, vaginas just don't work like that. They change size on a minute by minute hour by hour basis having to do with arousal (or going in... (read in full...)
Is looseness a sign of cheating?
Q. Okay I'm a young male around 18-21. My girlfriend lately has been very distance and when.we do have sex she feels loser. Is this a sign she is cheating?...
A. 24 March 2012: The only two reasons for a change are either she's given birth vaginally recently or she's more turned on.
Have you asked her why you barely see her anymore?... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 23 March 2012: "While the majority of porn is men exercising sexual domination of women"
"feminists want power, not equality and they hide behind favourable statistics and completely ignore any that refute their ideology."
But even though almost all heterose... (read in full...)
Is looseness a sign of cheating?
Q. Okay I'm a young male around 18-21. My girlfriend lately has been very distance and when.we do have sex she feels loser. Is this a sign she is cheating?...
A. 23 March 2012: It doesn't work like that...
If she seems distant, you should address that but no, the tightness of her vagina is not an indicator.... (read in full...)
How does a woman stay happy regardless of whether she's in a relationship or not?
Q. People always say as a woman, you should not need a man to make you happy. I agree with that, and I think its important to learn to stand on your own two feet and be happy with your own company. But sooner or later, you will meet a guy. And if th...
A. 23 March 2012: Make sure that you keep your friends and your own life outside the relationship/marriage. Keep doing hobbies and keep up your interests. As long as your partner isn't your everything, then you won't lose everything if it ends.... (read in full...)
He dumped his ex after having sex with her, so I'm scared to lose my virginity to him in case he does the same to me!
Q. i have been dating this guy for the last one year,he is wonderful,we get along very well.We have never been intimate.My problem is,he has seen and done a lot of sex before.He dumped his ex after having sex with her..Am afraid to loose my virginity ...
A. 23 March 2012: If it's important for you to only have sex with one man (that you marry your first), you should wait until marriage first. The guy sounds a bit like a player both based on your description and the fact that you have enough of a suspicion to write ... (read in full...)
My husband has an obsession with my butt.
Q. This question is for ladies only. I am new to the internet. I come from a culture where girls are not educated about sexuality. I never had any sexual encounter with a man before my wedding. A few months after my marriage,my husband left country to ...
A. 23 March 2012: Sounds like he may have a butt fetish, but so long as it's not causing any problems, I don't think there's anything wrong. If he does anything that makes you uncomfortable, just let him know or redirect him to another body part.... (read in full...)
My wife is matron of honor, and the best man is her ex!
Q. My wife and I have a question about weddings and what to do. My wife has this very good friend. After me, I guess you could say she was her 2nd best friend. She's getting married this summer. She asked my wife to be her matron of honor. My wi...
A. 23 March 2012: Has your wife tried talking to the best friend about this (as in maybe she could be paired with someone else)? This isn't a trivial thing. I'd think your wife's friend would be willing to just switch things around a tiny bit in order to have her in ... (read in full...)
People give me nasty looks, so when they get one back they don't like it! Why is this?
Q. I dont get it, People are rude to me give me nasty looks but then when i do it to them they dont like it. Well what do you expect? What you put out you will get back? If your nice people will be nice back. Why are people like that if they dont ...
A. 23 March 2012: "If your nice people will be nice back."
Exactly, so be nice back, even when they are nasty. Be the bigger person. People aren't rude and nasty for no reason.... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 23 March 2012: I've never "used" a romance novel or erotica, but I used to use porn and I did enjoy it. That doesn't change a thing. Liking something does not mean it is no longer problematic. It's not based on a country by country thing, the feminist groups in ... (read in full...)
Guys: would you date a girl if you knew she had done nude modelling?
Q. I have been modeling for an online lingerie site. I was approached by a porn site for nude modeling... The money they offered was amazing! I told them I would NEVER do photos with a man or another woman... Guys: Would you date a girl if you knew...
A. 23 March 2012: Many guys would not be OK with it or would find it an excuse to treat you badly.
Like Gabrielle said, once those photos are out there, they are out there and can't be taken back. Your friends, family, future employers, coworkers, etc... might se... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is choosing to masturbate to porn over having sex me!
Q. hi i am 21 and my partner is 23. we been together 6 months but known each other 8 yrs. i am a mum to a 4 yr old. me and my partner used to have sex all the time.....about 4/5 times a week, now everytime i go to touch him or blow him he pushes me ...
A. 23 March 2012: Pornography has the potential to be addictive, with around 15% of users developing a problem that interferes with their lives. It sounds like this is what has happened with your bf, maybe he got nervous after finding out you were pregnant, but for ... (read in full...)
What is the average length of time that a man lasts during sex?
Q. This might sound like a silly question and I know that every one is different, but what is the average length of time that a man lasts during sex?? I've been with this guy for about 5 months now and we just recently started having sex. He lasts ab...
A. 23 March 2012: Have you tried talking to him about it? Many guys are under the odd impression than all women want a man who can last for hours in bed. He might just think that's what's necessary to please you. You should casually mention that sometimes you really ... (read in full...)
Is it weird to send him sexy pics of me after not having spoken in a long time?
Q. I was dating a great guy but he moved away and he was really disappointed about the distance as it interferes with us continuing things. And we haven't spoken in 2 months. Last time I spoke to him, when he was already moved and settled, he sent me a ...
A. 23 March 2012: Do not just randomly send nude photos. There are websites all over for people to post random nude photos, with a link to their fb accounts. In this internet age, it is just an AWFUL idea. Once you press send, those are his property to do with as he ... (read in full...)
My husband has an obsession with my butt.
Q. This question is for ladies only. I am new to the internet. I come from a culture where girls are not educated about sexuality. I never had any sexual encounter with a man before my wedding. A few months after my marriage,my husband left country to ...
A. 22 March 2012: I'm not seeing a problem. Sounds like a normal healthy guy who finds you extremely sexy. My bf has tripped and fallen just because I was wearing leggings and he was staring too hard.... (read in full...)
Dry humping and pregnancy?
Q. Im curious is it possible for someone to fall pregnant from dry humping. At first I thought it wasnt possible until someone said it happened to them. The thing is my friend and i were making out and he was dry humping me in just our underwear and he ...
A. 22 March 2012: The only way to pregnant through dry humping is if you're both totally naked, and his penis is at the opening of your vagina and he ejaculates. Otherwise no. Sperm cannot get through fabric, especially not two layers of it. His semen has to contact ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 22 March 2012: I think part of the problem is I personally define pornography VERY differently from how it's being used here. I think pornography here is being used to mean psychological sexual stimulation, and if that was the case I could agree that romance ... (read in full...)
Guys: Would you prefer a girl not swallow and spit in a tissue?
Q. okay guys i need to know:the guy i'm seeing said he personally doesn't matter if i spit or swallow when giving him a blowjob. so my question is, if we aren't going to swallow, ( i do occasionally) would u prefer to pull out and cum on the woman's ...
A. 22 March 2012: I just asked my bf what his opinion is, he said his favorite is oral as foreplay, finishing with sex, followed by oral to completion and that the only reason to cum somewhere else is if you want to dominate or humiliate them. Spitting versus ... (read in full...)
How long do guys normally last during anal sex?
Q. okay people, i have a question a bit embarrassing. i just wondered, how long do guys generally last before they cum during anal sex? my boyfriend has done it before ( not with me) but i haven't.he said he wouldnt last long anyway, coz it would be a ...
A. 22 March 2012: You shouldn't do something that hurts just because it's a turn on. Anything where you'd be sitting there wishing it would end as soon as possible is not something you should be doing to pleasure your partner.... (read in full...)
She can orgasm when she masturbates but never with me!
Q. Hello All, I have been dating the same girl for over three years now. We have been sexually active for over two. In those two years she has never been able to have an orgasm with me. We have tried everything-- we have had vaginal intercou...
A. 22 March 2012: Some women just REALLY struggle to achieve orgasm. If she can bring herself to orgasm, there isn't anything abnormal or wrong about her essentially masturbating while you have sex (while she's on top or some position, she uses her own hands). If she ... (read in full...)
Caught my husband looking at she-male porn, and he has had unusual sexual preferences in the past...what does this all mean?
Q. I just caught my husband of three years looking at she-male porn. When I walked into the room, he closed down the page quickly and deleted the cookies, but I still saw what he was doing. It's not the first time he has done it - he's done it several ...
A. 22 March 2012: Well enjoying she-male porn and enjoying anal sex doesn't really mean anything. A lot of men like both those things without being gay. However, if the fantasies he comes up with on his own are with men, that is a little worrisome that he might be ... (read in full...)
He hurts me so much but he is like a drug I cant live without! Help!
Q. Dear cupid My bf of 2 years constantly avoids me, often humiliates me and when i ask he says he was joking, joking or not joking, his words affect me. I told him not to do that, he never listens. I dont want his words to affect me so much, but it ...
A. 22 March 2012: Unfortunately there's no such thing as magic advice. As Aunty BimBim said, ultimately it's up to you to end this. The best things you can do are to call over a friend you know will be tough on you to delete him from your facebook and block him from ... (read in full...)
My husband blames stress for the cold sore on his lip but it seems highly doubtful, given his closeness with his co-worker. What do you guys think?
Q. I need some advise on cold sores. (Okay, let's call them what they really are Herpes.) I have been with my husband for 7 years and not once has he ever had one. But then about a year ago a younger woman got a job at his office. I didn't worry about ...
A. 22 March 2012: Up to 70% of people harbor the virus where it remains dormant for the rest of their lives. I used to get cold sores following any major illnesses or stressful periods but haven't gotten one in years. If you are suspicious that he is cheating you ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend gay because he watches porn?
Q. My boyfriend watches porn, is he gay? I confronted him about it and he denies his not. am I being in denial?...
A. 22 March 2012: No it doesn't make him gay. ... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 22 March 2012: "Those women are public property. They are merchandise." They are human beings, real women with real feelings and their own private sexuality and private lives, with their own wants, dreams, and desires. They are not slaves, they are not things, ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 22 March 2012: Male anon, did you even read the article I linked to? That CBS thing is more of an editorial on the official report that says that yes, the gender gap does exist. Basically saying the same old tired things that have always been used as justification ... (read in full...)
What happens to a person with unique style but ugly characteristics?
Q. I have a weird assumption in mind and I'd like to have people talk about it. It is about variation of choice in partners. Lets say there are two groups of people: 1)Ones that are relatively normal, are tolerant against ugly characteristics suc...
A. 21 March 2012: My experience is that generally when people feel like they don't fit in, they make sure their personalities match, as in no smiling, and just don't seem friendly. I know when other people seem hostile it's hard not to retreat and be defensively ... (read in full...)
Should I change my hair colour for him?
Q. I am dating a new guy and his type is brunette with olive skin. I am blonde, which i dye. My natural color is dark brown. Should I go back to my natural color? He asked me to but acted like he was joking but i dont think he was. So stay blond or go ...
A. 21 March 2012: You shouldn't if you like it blonde.... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: I don't have a choice about things I NEED like clothing, food, and in this day and age a computer (I don't like coffee). I buy local when I can and I buy second hand/used when I can rather than new. I do the best I can with the options I have.
... (read in full...)
Can you strictly take care of physical needs and not harm the friendship?
Q. hey,, i have a friend,, but she's just a friend , we are both singles, and we do not love /crush each other. is it right for us to have sex, just for our physical needs, will it hamper our relationship, if we dont get mentally involved. plzzzz rply...
A. 21 March 2012: Not possible.... (read in full...)
Does sucking make the breast bigger?
Q. does sucking increase the size of breast ...
A. 21 March 2012: No. They used to make devices that would "vacuum" the whole breast in an attempt to make it bigger, but it doesn't work without surgical help.... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: I don't think romance novels are totally harmless, nor are they something I use or have ever used. I take offense at you calling it my hobby since I have never defended them and especially never used them. But they are not something I will consider ... (read in full...)
What happens to a person with unique style but ugly characteristics?
Q. I have a weird assumption in mind and I'd like to have people talk about it. It is about variation of choice in partners. Lets say there are two groups of people: 1)Ones that are relatively normal, are tolerant against ugly characteristics suc...
A. 21 March 2012: Fat isn't ugly and neither is acne. I assume you are asking about yourself? If you spend your whole life worrying what other people think of the way you look, you will be miserable since there is no way to please everyone at once. If you are ... (read in full...)
Do men stop using porn when they have a girlfriend?
Q. Hi everyone, us women need hope is there any men here who stop using porn/looking at it when they have a girlfriend? ...
A. 21 March 2012: Some, but from what I've read most guys who use porn continue to use it whether or not they have one and the ones who don't, continue to not. There have been a few surveys on this and the differences in numbers are not significant.... (read in full...)
How can women watch porn with their partners?
Q. One thing that bugs me is how can women watch porn with their boyfriends/husbands? Aren't you bothered he's getting turned on by another woman, who he possibly thinks is hotter? The thought is horrible....
A. 21 March 2012: If given the choice between him watching alone and watching together I'd MUCH rather watch together than apart. I don't think it would bother me, it hasn't with other guys in the past (my current bf does not watch porn with or without me). It would ... (read in full...)
Sex hurts..
Q. I lost my virginity about a month ago. since then, i've had sex about 4 times. the problem is that i have pain during penetration. he can get it all the way in but he is not able to thrust because it hurts me. will this go away or is there something ...
A. 21 March 2012: The most likely thing is that you are not aroused enough. Make sure you are getting enough foreplay. In the beginning he should bring you close to orgasm before penetration to make certain you're aroused enough. You should also invest in a good ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 21 March 2012: If that fraction is 4/5 than yes, women earn 1/5 less money than men, about 20%. That data is incredibly easy to find. It's not a small amount. I'm not sure where your 2/3 number comes from, since every search I've done on the topic shows that men ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: I literally cannot think of a more privileged group of people in history than white men. Men who think the world is pitted against them are like white people who complain that black people are racist against them.
http:... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: The only place women are outperforming men is that there are more women in college by a small margin for the very first time in history. Interesting how for centuries when education was a very male dominated thing it was just the natural order and ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: The truth is the only people who ever bring up romance novels are pro-porn people who simply wish to derail the conversation. I've never heard anyone actually dealing with a porn problem bring up romance novels. It is an enormous red herring because ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 20 March 2012: If we lived in a post feminist world then gendered and sexist terms like "cunt" would not hold any power, there wouldn't be an epidemic of violence against women, women's bodies wouldn't be bought and sold like livestock, and pornography in its ... (read in full...)
How can people compare porn to a romance novel?
Q. How can people compare porn to a romance novel? A romance novel is harmless words on a page, porn is a picture of a real person with no clothes on who exists who can easily be compared. Same with a vibrator it's a piece of plastic....
A. 19 March 2012: It's a complicated issue. Basically this argument arises when the pro-porn person believes the only reason an anti-porn person is that way is because they don't understand. The problem is there is nothing like porn. There is really nothing to ... (read in full...)
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