A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'v been dating a guy almost a month now, recently, he told me that he was dating a different girl and he's doing that to please her he disclosed to me that im the one he loves even though he's pretending to be dating her. Should i believe him? I really love this guy. On vals day, we suprised eachother, he didnt even thank me for the gift i gave him. Lately, i heard he's planning of giving a gift to a girl. I got hurt when i heard. I get hurt whenever isee/hear him standing with a lady. What should i do? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questiontanx guys
A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (22 February 2012):
 Whether he is your first or your fifth, you need to figure out what YOUR boundaries are. WHAT you will accept others to DO to you. HOW you want others to treat you and HOW you want them to SEE you.
He treats you like a toy, he has no respect for your boundaries and he knows that you are "new" to relationships and therefore might be more obliging to please HIM rather then stand up for yourself and your morals/values.
Just because he is your first doesn't give him the right to use you as a doormat.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (22 February 2012):
 If you're too scared to loose him and you're falling for the "don't break my heart" thing, you will find yourself in the same exact position that you're in right now. You'll be in love with someone who is openly dating another girl and you're going to be miserable.
If he were to date you and only you, you would never have a reason to leave him. If you leave him it's a result of HIS behavior and actions, not because you want to. He has managed to make you feel guilty even though you're not doing anything wrong. You're becoming weak and a doormat and he will trample all over you and use you until he gets bored. If you think it's normal and OK that your boyfriend is dating another girl, get ready for a shitty, miserable ride because that's all you'll get with him.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (22 February 2012):
 "recently he told me not to break his heart" And you told him not to cheat on you I assume. This guy is a jerk. I know you're scared to lose him, but with this guy you're not losing anything.
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionTanks guys. I really appreciate it, but the thing is, he's my first lover and im scared to loose him nd recently he told me not to break his heart
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2012):
I say tell him to go fly a kite, why on Earth would you let a guy play you like this?
He's penis is not made of gold nor can his personalty that all that decent.
He sounds like a tool and like he is wasting your time.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Why don't you pretend to break up with him and then realy do it? This guy is playing you sweetheart! It's time to wise up and toss him aside.
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A
female
reader, PerhapsNot +, writes (20 February 2012):
Of course he is "pretending" to date her. Just like he is "pretending" when he gives her a V-Day gift, spending time with her, talking to her and being intimate with her. Wake up and smell the roses. He is using both of you because he likes kissing, making out and sex with multiple women. He doesn't want to have just one girlfriend, he wants to play the field. If he was serious about you or cared about you, he would only date you and be with you. You know this. You already know what you have with him is not right, or normal.He sees your responses. He sees that you're not telling him that you don't approve of this situation and that you will leave if he continues. Instead you're nodding your head and you keep on taking all the shit he is dishing. He sees that he can get away "pretend" dating another woman and that you will stick around anyway. He has no incentive to change and chances are even if you told him that he has to date you and you only, he would probably still play the field secretly because he's a player.
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female
reader, eternallyinfinite  +, writes (19 February 2012):
"What should i do?"
Dump him? Unless you're fine with him dating another girl at the same time as you ...
You deserve someone who is only dating you exclusively. If this guy can't offer that, then find someone better.
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A
female
reader, londonmiss +, writes (19 February 2012):
 Sweetie,
Please, please believe me when I say that this guy is not worth your time. He is messing both of you around, and you need to end this before you get any deeper.
It is unacceptable, as janniepeg says, and you should not have to tolerate it.
BL xx
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (19 February 2012):
 he's pretending to date her to please her but he loves you?
why does he want to please her but not please you the girl he supposedly loves?
he's dating two... if you want exclusive he's not the one to give it to you....
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (19 February 2012):
Start dating someone else. What the heck does that even mean, only pretending to date someone? Either you are or you aren't. Your bf is a liar and just trying to date two girls at once.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg +, writes (19 February 2012):
 Just tell him you want an exclusive relationship so that means, no flirting, dating or even pretending to date another person. There are no hard feelings here. It's just that you are not agreeing to such an arrangement. You should never put up with unacceptable behavior.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 February 2012): Who pretends to date someone? How do you trust someone that can do that to another? How do you remain attracted to some young man of weak character who can lie his face off and make excuses?He's a liar, a serial cheater. I bet you he is hiding your relationship from her. If it is no big deal to be with ths other girl, why lie and hide your realtionship?He's using you. He doesn't care about you or the other girl, he only cares about himself and uses you girls to make him feel good about himself.I say tell the other Girl and then DUMP HIM.He's an untrustworhty lying douche cake!
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