A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm wondering whether I should expect oral sex for giving oral sex. Me and my girlfriend don't have sex often, but my sex drive is a lot more than hers, so she uses her hands to satisfy me.I've told her I really enjoy oral sex and she gave it to me twice. But now always when I ask she comes up with something that sounds like an excuse she thought up in 2 seconds. Like my belly hurts, we just ate, there's nothing good tasting around for afterwards, etc.I can understand she doesn't like the taste, she says it tastes really bitter.But I don't understand, I don't really enjoy her taste down there, but I do it anyway, and I tell her it tastes great just to put her at ease and that I love going down on her.But she uses that as an excuse to not have to do the same for me, that I enjoy the taste. I can't really say that I dislike it now can I?I know I'd gladly go down on her if the tables were turned, if it gave her pleasure.What can I do to even it out? Or shouldn't I expect that?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (21 February 2012):
 “Hi, I'm wondering whether I should expect oral sex for giving oral sex”
Well do you give oral to get oral? Have you made that clear to your partner? Because that’s a LOUSY reason to give oral….
“there’s nothing good tasting around for afterwards”… buy candy, or mints or her favorite drink and keep it in the bedroom. Also if she complains of the taste and you don’t like her taste then go to the sex shop and buy some flavored stuff for both of you to use on each other if that’s the route you want to go… BUT here is my take on it.
ORAL does not have to be part of your sex life. IF you don’t like giving it to her then don’t do it. IF she doesn’t like giving it to you then she should not give you oral.
It’s not a mandatory task.
You can change your taste… eat more fruit… especially pineapple and strawberries… and make sure when she gives oral you ejaculate far enough back in her mouth that she won’t taste it. I never taste it… the tip of his penis is too far back in my mouth for his ejaculate to hit my tongue…
The bigger problem is you have lied to her. You don’t give her oral because you want to … you give her oral because you want her to give it to you… Admit it.
I love going down on women… some taste better (sweeter) than others but none are nasty or unpleasant if they are well bathed…
I give your gf a lot of credit at least she is true to herself and to you… she’s giving you reasons for not doing what she does not want to do. Go get yourself a cucumber about your size and give it oral the way you like… tell me how much fun it is for you… does your jaw hurt? Oh and make sure you don’t touch it with your teeth….
Here’s my take on this personally…NEVER GIVE ORAL TO GET ORAL is the first rule and the second rule is NEVER GIVE ORAL IF YOU DO NOT WANT TO. Find a partner that can accept it as a limitation of your relationship.
I love giving my fiancé head. And I do it willingly and gratefully that he allows me to take his precious member into a dangerous orifice… what trust he has in me..… I knew from DAY ONE that he would NOT go down on me as he was open and above board that it was NOT AN OPTION for him. Yes I miss it…. But it is what it is…
You have several issues you have to fix
1. You are lying to her that you like giving her oral
2. You are giving her oral when you don’t want to give her oral
3. You want oral from her when she does not wish to give it to you
Fix these three problems if you can or if oral is mandatory for you (as it is for my fiancé to receive it but not give it) then you may have to end the relationship if the two of you can’t come to a compromise that works.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2012): My partner and i have oral sex very frequently but some days i dont want to give him oral yet he still goes down on me as he enjoys doing it and gets self pleasure and i will also give him oral sex without wanting him to return the favour as i enjoy doing it and get so much pleasure from it
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (20 February 2012):
 I'm with Honeypie, I don't belive in tit for tat in bed.
Suppose she'd say :" Anal sex hurts, but I'll let you penetrate me anally,- only ,after of course it's my turn to use my ten inches dildo on you".
That would be a fair exchange, she would accept the discomfort of this kind of sexual act just to please you, and you'd do the same for her.
It would also be very stupid,- sex is not about making sacrifices or "tolerating " stuff or "grin and bear "!
Anything that hurts you / disgusts you / makes you uncomfortable , you just skip it, it's sex it's not doctor prescribed medicine !
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A
male
reader, BobbyC  +, writes (20 February 2012):
Please aunts! He didn't say anything about cumming in her mouth or making her swallow. He just wants oral.When she says it tastes bitter, does she mean your natural lubricant? That's strange because I have never heard it before. Girls who described it to me said it's like egg white, which maybe tasteless or a bit salty. Most girls don't mind it, and those who do simply let it out of their mouth.If she wants to blow you but doesn't like the taste, Maybe assorted condoms could help. They are colourful and taste like fruity chewing gum, and they prevent your juices to flow into her mouth.But maybe she doesn't like to blow you at all. Then there is nothing you can do about it. Just remember, she has to please you as much as you please her, but she doesn't have to do exactly what you do. If she compensates with another sexual activity, then you should feel OK.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Having a man ejaculate into your mouth can (not for everyone of course) be REALLY unpleasant, it's worse with some guys than others and worse for some women than others. It's not unheard of for women to actually vomit from it.
Have you thought about ways to have her do it without ejaculating in mouth? Like having her perform oral as foreplay, getting you very close with oral then finishing with her hand, or buying a sex toy kind of like a fleshlight she can finish you with after getting you close with her mouth?
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (20 February 2012):
 Buy some mints have them near the bed. However, I don't believe in tit for tat in the bedroom. If she doesn't like to do it, why should she? Sex should be enjoyable for both parties.
However, I would talk to her. Figure out if it has more to do with a dislike then the taste.. Suggest you try it in the shower maybe and for her to not swallow.
Talk to her, but don't demand.
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