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This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Should a girl always breathe in a rythmic way or scream when she orgasms?
Q. when a girl cums does she breathe in a rythimic way or screams?and is it a must for every girl to behave this way?and if she doesnt what should she do?...
A. 21 May 2010: There aren't just some women like you, I'd say MOST are like you. Though making some noise usually makes for a better more uninhibited orgasm. If your bf wants noise though, why don't you be more vocal occasionally for him? I love when my boyfriend ... (read in full...)
Should a girl always breathe in a rythmic way or scream when she orgasms?
Q. when a girl cums does she breathe in a rythimic way or screams?and is it a must for every girl to behave this way?and if she doesnt what should she do?...
A. 20 May 2010: Well girls in porn scream all the time, but most girls don't in real life I think. The rhythmic breathing is sometimes because most women need a rhythm to orgasm, like putting themselves in an orgasm trance. Don't worry so much about it, you ... (read in full...)
He stopped before he came but the condom still had some white stuff in it!
Q. Okay well im really worried.. Me and my noyfriend had sex for the second time ever a day ago. and i told him to stop before he came. we did but when we look at the condom it already had white stuff in it. and it was all near the shaft inside the ...
A. 20 May 2010: If you were wearing a condom, why would you make him stop before he came? It's possible for a guy to ejaculate a little before he full on cums if he's really REALLY close and then just stops. If you're wearing a condom though there's no point in not ... (read in full...)
Tricky nipple hair situation, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend is dark haired, sometimes she gets dark hairs around her nipple region, how to I go about this because it is sometimes hard to concentrate during foreplay? Thank you...
A. 20 May 2010: If you're very comfortable with each other you could just ask. I used to pluck my two long nipple hairs, but once my boyfriend found out I had them he asked me to stop because he thought they were endearing and cute. However, many women are very ... (read in full...)
Disgusted by my boyfriends interest in porn.
Q. dear cupid, i feel so disgusted. this morning i went online to listen to music and as i was typing visited porn sites started appearing in the browser. i love my boyfriend, weve been together for 3 years, recently moved in together. hes always b...
A. 19 May 2010: Do you have to accept porn? No. Will he stop watching if you don't want to accept it? Probably not. This is an extremely touchy issue for most people and it's becoming more prevalent. I suggest you bring it up in a non-accusing way, not by ... (read in full...)
Dreading the upcoming conversation about anal sex!
Q. Hi there, I just read a question where the guy was worried his girlfriend was lying when she said she had never had anal sex before....I'm about to be that girlfriend. I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now and I really really love him. We ...
A. 19 May 2010: I don't think you should go out of your way to mention it, but if it comes up don't lie. I doubt he'd care if he knew you had, but he'd probably care a lot if you lied. Honesty is usually the best policy.... (read in full...)
Tricky nipple hair situation, what do I do?
Q. My girlfriend is dark haired, sometimes she gets dark hairs around her nipple region, how to I go about this because it is sometimes hard to concentrate during foreplay? Thank you...
A. 19 May 2010: Everyone has nipple hair. Don't you have nipple hair? I know generally we're portrayed in the media as being totally hairless, but women do have hair. Just like we pretty much all have cellulite. I guess if it really bugs you could ask her to shave ... (read in full...)
Pictures of his ex on his bedroom wall! And porn-type ones with her on his phone and computer!
Q. ive been with my boyfriend for just under 2 months, and when i was over his i noticed on his phone and computer he has porn like pictures of him and his ex and a photo of her on his bedroom wall. so i gave him time to delete them etc. but he didn...
A. 18 May 2010: Sorry, but it sounds like he's still into her. I agree that you should go out and find someone who will be totally into you instead of hung-up on an ex.... (read in full...)
Blue films vs porno films
Q. what is the difference between blue flims and porn movies..? can anyone give the differentiation please.....
A. 18 May 2010: Just what the below post said, just like going to an artfilm house to watch an art film meant porn.... (read in full...)
Accidentally discovered my fiance had been loking at porn online - should I worry?
Q. ok, well i'm very much in love with my fiance, who I have two beautiful kids with - our eldest who is 19 months and our new arival who is just 11 weeks. I feel so close to him and can't imagine my life without him - i can't wait for him to be my ...
A. 18 May 2010: Generally men don't use porn to fill a void. That means it's not because their wife isn't beautiful, it's not because they're not satisfied, it's just a masturbation aid. Masturbation and sex are totally different. Just because his sex life is ... (read in full...)
Touchy-feely hairdresser... should I be bothered by it? Or is he just friendly?
Q. I have a male hairdresser and is he touchy feely ie touches my shoulders when talking to me and every time I leave the salon he gives me a hug goodbye. Should I be bothered by it or would you think he is gay or just genuinely friendly to me. ...
A. 17 May 2010: I wouldn't worry... Most hairdressers I've known are pretty "touchy feely" and sometimes give me scalp rubs or shoulder rubs or whatever. It doesn't seem to vary from male to female. Unless you sense he's coming onto you or it makes you ... (read in full...)
My wife tells me I have a porn addiction
Q. how do i stop porn addiction? i have alot more sexual desire than my wife and it got to where i felt horable for asking for it all the time. I eventualy turned to porn magazine and it created more problems than i thought it would. she said i have ...
A. 17 May 2010: I don't know if you have an addiction, but a lot of women feel really threatened by porn, so maybe that's her problem and she's jumping to the (possibly incorrect) conclusion that you are addicted. If the problem is just that you need a release more ... (read in full...)
Love my boyfriend but no sex makes me want to move on
Q. my boyfriend and i are having problems i guess you could say. we have been together for a year and a half now. we only have sex about twice a month. his first excuse was that he never wanted to cause im too pushy about it but now he says he has a ...
A. 14 May 2010: Sorry, but this sounds like a really serious addiction that needs professional help. When it gets to the point of him refusing to have sex with you at all because he's so into his porn, this goes beyond insensitive or gender differences. This is a ... (read in full...)
How do I get my point accross and tell him that his porn watching is affecting our marriage?
Q. My husband is very addicted to porn. i have asked him over and over to stop, but he still wont. i have even threatened him with divorce and told him he would never be able to see his daughter. he still watches it. i feel like crap when he watches ...
A. 14 May 2010: If he's addicted, talking to him and threatening him will not help. Porn addiction is a real problem and he needs help. A real threat to leave him may be enough to kick his butt into rehab. But for your self-esteem, I swear it is NOT about you, ... (read in full...)
Do all relationships start with fire and sparks?
Q. Do all relationships start with fire and sparks? I went out with a guy that I find very attractive. He treats me with respect and has a lot of the qualities that I am looking for in a partner. We have gone out a few times and the conversation flows ...
A. 12 May 2010: Hmmm it doesn't sound like the makings of a great romance, but if you like him I think you should give it a chance. Maybe one or both of you is nervous or just so awkward. The height thing could make the first few getting to know each other kisses ... (read in full...)
I have a constant fear that my penis is too small!
Q. my penis is around 8 inches long and 6.5 around and i read that is kinda ideal size but i constantly have this fear that i m small or something. what can i do to make it go away?...
A. 11 May 2010: That's actually much larger than average. Most women don't even want anything bigger than 6 or 7 long because it hits their cervix and it's painful. I have no idea where this idea that women want a huge dick comes from (porn maybe?) but a large one ... (read in full...)
What will happen after no sex for 8 months?
Q. if a woman doesnt have sex for 8 months will her vagina tear the first time she does ...
A. 11 May 2010: No. It won't tear if she's never had sex either. It will be the same as the last time she had sex, though some women have a harder time getting properly lubricated and loose the first time in awhile.... (read in full...)
The signs are there...so does he not love me anymore?
Q. Are these signs that my boyfriend no longer loves me: - Turns up Late Alot - Puts His Mates First - Breaks Promises He always hugs me, kisses me, tells me he loves me and we still have sex alot (maybe too much) but some days he can be very dis...
A. 9 May 2010: Well it sounds pretty clear to me that he didn't want this baby while you did. If this was an accidental pregnancy then you are going to have to choose between the baby and him. Because the way it's going, it sounds like this is only going to get ... (read in full...)
Why didn't my wife orgasm?
Q. So my wife and I have been fighting lately. Normally, I am the one who gives in says I'm sorry, etc etc. Whether it's my fault or not. But lately, when we fight I've been standing my ground. Well, she started crying the other night saying tha...
A. 9 May 2010: Yeah, it's probably that. She'll probably come around, but it's kind of expected to have a little trouble orgasming after a fight, especially if something doesn't feel resolved. I think you two need to talk about your issues and resolve them not so ... (read in full...)
She can't get past the idea of smoking weed
Q. So my girlfriend and I have been going out for 6 months and we have a blast together. I've never been in a relationship so strong before. Recently, we've been fighting about one subject and one subject only: my smoking habits. It's not that I smoke ...
A. 9 May 2010: While I am totally for legalizing pot and think it has some great benefits, it is technically illegal and does get associated with a certain type of person. I think that it wouldn't be saying much for your case if you chose pot over the woman you ... (read in full...)
How hard will a guy try to get a woman into bed if he doesn't want a relationship?
Q. I'm confused about this guy's intentions... He initiated conversation with me, chased me for dates, etc. Actually, he's one of the sweetest, most attentive guys i've ever been out with. Actually, he's so sweet that it makes me nervous... I...
A. 9 May 2010: I think you're right to proceed with caution on this one. Some guys will really, REALLY try hard to get a women into bed. Some tell women they love them and want to marry them. Some buy them things and basically bribe them into it. If your gut ... (read in full...)
I am really, really Jealous and grossed out about my wife's past sex life
Q. I have been with my wife for 5years, we have been married for 4 years. I love her with all my heart. I love her so much that I believe if we had met at any time in my life no matter what I was doing or what I had going on at the time, I would have ...
A. 9 May 2010: What matters now is that she's told you the truth. I agree with q1605 on this. Women are held to such a high standard that men never have to deal with. When it comes to this issue remember that men can never have the, well I don't know who the ... (read in full...)
Is phone sex more of a chore than fun for girls?
Q. How much masturbating is to much? And also do girls like phone sex? They make it seem more like a chore than fun....
A. 9 May 2010: Masturbating is too much when it interferes with your daily life or you masturbate to the point of being unable to achieve orgasm with a live person. Other than that, wank away. Most do, however, find the orgasm and build-up more pleasurable when ... (read in full...)
Boyfriend being spiteful for something I have no control over!
Q. my boyfriend was meant to come and see me tonight (i live 30 miles away from him, at uni) but he isn't coming because his sister and his grandad are going to london tomorrow.. he said his grandad wouldn't appreciate him not being there. it ...
A. 9 May 2010: He's clearly a jerk who has no respect for you. It sounds like he only wants to be with you so long as it doesn't inconvenience him in any way. I agree with the below poster, I wouldn't be in a rush to move in with him.... (read in full...)
Him watching porn is a side to him I don't know and I don't like it!
Q. Basically, I have the best boyfriend, soon to be fiancee but I hate him wanking to porn. I have never been bothered in past relationships but I think because we are so close I hate the fact he hides it from me. I feel it's a side to him I don't know ...
A. 9 May 2010: It sounds like the real issue here isn't the porn, it's the lying. Which seems to be the big issue for a lot of people. I think you need to sit down and tell him how much it hurts you when you lie about it and that you'd be much more accepting of ... (read in full...)
Why does it hurt after I climax?
Q. i dont know if this makes sense so ill try my best to word it correctly lol....Okay so when me and my boyfriend have sex he always trys to make me finish way to early into it, and as soon as i finish it gets really painful and hes just there still ...
A. 9 May 2010: Why does he force you to orgasm? You should orgasm when you feel ready to orgasm, not because he's pressuring you into it. Once you've orgasmed your body feels done and the same way he goes soft after he finishes, your vagina becomes tight again and ... (read in full...)
I want to break my hymen so sex won't hurt so much!
Q. Don't get me wrong. I respect myself and I don't really want to have sex, yet anyway. But I used to want to, I've matured since then and have realised it'd be better to wait, but when me and my ex boyfriend did try, he only got it in about an inch ...
A. 9 May 2010: Don't do it yourself. Seriously, just don't intentionally break your hymen. The reason sex hurts the first time isn't usually because breaking your hymen hurts (most can't feel it break at all) but because you're not turned on and lubricated enough ... (read in full...)
He acts like he doesn't care about me anymore and only cares about himself
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year and a half and we live together. when we first got together our relationship was great. he showed me a lot of love and attention and always made me feel wonderful. but lately all of that has ...
A. 9 May 2010: I agree, your boyfriend is being a jerk. This is a case where you do need to make an ultimatum that if he doesn't start treating you better, you will leave. And you need to do it, even if it hurts. He's treating you like crap and you deserve a guy ... (read in full...)
Wont have sex but keeps getting off 2 porn!
Q. hi i am a 26 year old woman and i am with a man 17 years older than me. for a while now he keeps making every excuse you could think of so he dosnt have to sleep with me. he might look for it once or twice a month and expects me to be all on for ...
A. 9 May 2010: This isn't "normal." Lots of guys will defend other men's right to porn until they're blue in the face. Whether it's right for a man to look at porn or not, or even if you're OK with him looking at porn is not the problem here. The problem is that ... (read in full...)
I always have to ask for gifts, why does he never surprise me?
Q. Hi all, it feels good to a part of this forum. Just a quick one! My boyfriend and i have dating for 3yrs now. He's really sweet, but he rarely gives me gifts or anything unless i ask. And i dont feel comfortable asking, as soon as i ask about ...
A. 6 May 2010: He gives you everything you ask for, but you're complaining because he doesn't know to give you things you don't ask for? Some guys have differing ideas of romance. Just because it's the norm in movies for guys to show their love by showing up with ... (read in full...)
Am I gross? OR was the guy just not nice?
Q. Hi, I recently hooked up with a guy and whilst we were in bed fooling around he took off my pants, then he stopped and was like ew, so I asked what's the problem and he told me "your vagina is gross". I've had my confidence knocked by it my...
A. 5 May 2010: This is what happens when guys only see airbrushed vaginas. They see a real one and can't handle it. I'm sure your vagina is fine. It's extremely common to have inner labia that are longer, and it's almost as common to have one lip be longer than ... (read in full...)
Do I break up with him when I go away for the year?
Q. I think I need some advice. I’ve been going out with my boyfriend for the last two years and he’s the only guy I’ve ever been with. Thing is I’ve been fantasizing all along about sleeping with other guys. My boyfriend is almost perfect, he’s ...
A. 5 May 2010: I think it's only fair to him if you break it off now. You will be miserable if you try to be monogamous, he'll be miserable if/when you cheat on him. I'm sure he is great, but a year is a long time and if you're ALREADY thinking of cheating on him, ... (read in full...)
I gagged while giving her oral sex and now she won't let me try again!
Q. Hi, My girlfriend and I are sexually active. We've never had intercourse but we have oral quite a bit. The first time I gave her oral, it was great and she said she had never had a guy do it so enthusiastically and so good. I'm very aware of ho...
A. 5 May 2010: Well if I was a girl, it would take me awhile to get over that sort of thing too. I had a guy make fun of my bikini line stubble in high school and was self-conscious about it for YEARS. This is going to require two things on your part. One, instead ... (read in full...)
Broke up for a year and now I'm pregnant, he wants me to have an abortion!
Q. Well last year the love of my life of 14 yrs left me and our son saying he"had to get himself together". Well it was a huge adjustment for me as well as our 10 year old son. He was always around, still active in my sons life. We remaine civil. I ...
A. 5 May 2010: He made the decision to remove himself from your life. He has absolutely no right to make any sort of decisions on this matter. Furthermore, it's your body and it will always be YOUR decision, not his. Do what feels right for you.... (read in full...)
My husband has a very low sex drive. why?
Q. Problems in bed. My husband And I have been married for 3 years now. We dated for at least 2 years. during that time we had the best sex ever. He was my first. I love and respect him with all of my heart. We have a 2 year old beautiful daughter...
A. 4 May 2010: Some men feel like once you become a mother, you are no longer the "whore" you're now the "madonna." This doesn't mean he doesn't love and care for you, it means he's having trouble seeing you in a sexual way. You need to sit him down for a serious ... (read in full...)
Where do people masturbate?
Q. Hi. I'm not sure if this is an appropriate question or not, but, I was wondering...most of guys and lot's of girls masturbate. I just wanted to know, WHERE they do it. I mean like, in your room, the bathroom etc. 'Cos guys would need to clean up...
A. 3 May 2010: Anywhere you're alone and comfortable. Make sure you have a plan for catching fluids. Most common places are bedroom and bathroom.... (read in full...)
My wife doesn't let me give her oral sex and leaves her pubic hair ungroomed, I like it shaved. Any ideas?
Q. I've been married now for over five years. My wife and I have a great sexual relationship with some of the best sex I have every had. There are two things that I'm having trouble speaking to her about. My wife leaves her pubic hair ungroomed. ...
A. 3 May 2010: I think you need to just talk to her about these things. Don't hint about the pubic thing, just ask her to trim. To ensure she doesn't feel like you're attacking her, offer to do the same. As for the oral sex, just tell her you really enjoy doing ... (read in full...)
Should I show him I'm suffering or endure the heartache alone?
Q. How do guys get over a relationship so easily? How is it anyway fair to me that I am the one that has to suffer? It's been over a week since my ex broke up with me and I am coping with it quite well but I still have my days. It's not fair that I ...
A. 3 May 2010: Like all the posters said, it's best to grieve alone. Showing him your sadness will do nothing to change his mind, it will just make him think poorly of you. Break-ups are hard and I wish I could give you some magical answer to make the pain go ... (read in full...)
Has my problem caused too much damage for us to recover from?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together for several years now, but our sex life has died. During the first year we were together, we quickly fell in love and wanted to be close all the time. Eventually, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, but it t...
A. 2 May 2010: Yes, your problems probably caused this. He cares about you and feels responsible for hurting you. Sex should never hurt and you should have sought help earlier. Much, much earlier. There is a painful disorder that causes muscle spasms that seize ... (read in full...)
What should I do about my 1 year long distance relationship?? I need advice please
Q. I need help trying to figure out what I wanna do with my realtionship with him.. We lived in the same city for a few months but then he had to move 1 hr 30 min away but we decided wed continue seeing each other knowing it would be harder being long ...
A. 2 May 2010: Generally with long-distance either one person moves or the relationship eventually ends. Long-distance can't last forever. Usually one person decides they want out before the other and typically what happens is one person begins to make the other ... (read in full...)
What do girls look for in guys?
Q. Hey, what does a girl really see in a guy. I be myself and try to be the understandable, loving and funny. Do girls care for personalities or looks more? I'm a bit chubby yet built though not cut. I'm an all around guy that would stand up for ...
A. 2 May 2010: In the end, being able to make someone laugh is always a great trait. Yes, looks are important, but a sense of humor is key.... (read in full...)
What do you do with your hands whilst kissing?
Q. where do guys like a girls hands to be while they're kissing ? ...
A. 2 May 2010: A lot love when you run your fingers through their hair. It tingles sometimes. You can start by just holding onto their shoulders and pulling them close, rubbing their back a bit. Don't just leave them at your sides though! Good luck.... (read in full...)
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