A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:how do i stop porn addiction? i have alot more sexual desire than my wife and it got to where i felt horable for asking for it all the time. I eventualy turned to porn magazine and it created more problems than i thought it would. she said i have an addiction and i dont want to lose her so how can i fix this?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Celia, like you say you don't have kids, so you can nit possibly understand what it feels like to have a mommy tummy and post baby body and have your husband getting off to 20year olds who have cleArly never had kids.
To the op , sorry but where the respect for your wife. She has made a huge sacrifice to bring YOUR children into this world and this is how you repay her? You should be on your knees very night worshipping that body that has given you a family, not getting off to some skanky kid who hasn't even lived life.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2010): WIFE--The favors were not done because I thought I had to..I honestly enjoy pleasing my husband. For me 2 maybe 3 days a week is enough...and when I don't want it I want to still please my husband. As far as fore play...well that is few and far between...you being a woman yourself I'm sure you understand that it takes a little more than "lets have sex" or just jumping straight to the point to get aroused enough for sex. We had a communication problem on the favor subject...That one we are working on. The porn is the biggest issue. Like a lot of women Porn does nothing for me and to find that my husband is hiding the fact that he uses it makes me feel like I'm not enough for him. I guess you can call it a jealousy issue but for me his using porn is just as bad as cheating. He is looking at other women and getting aroused by them and not by me...and there is NO way I can compare to those women...I feel very insecure. In my mind I think "how can he look at those women and get aroused and look at me and get the same effect?" I just want my husband to stop using porn and let ME take care of his needs, which I am more than willing to do if he will just STOP using porn and let me.OK now for my take on it. my wife is right a lot of the time there is no foreplay. we have 3 kids now 7yrs 4yrs and 3 weeks old. by the time we get to do anything there is not much time for foreplay. my wife only likes to make love at night and not with the lights on. she is ashamed of her body and i think she is perfectly gorgeous. I also have been going to work at 4-5 in the morning so getting up at 3-4 in the morning doesn't leave much time. i am usually ready for sleep before we ever get started. I do try to kiss on her neck and nibble on her ear lobs. i let my hands Rome on her during the day but like i said it is after the kids go to bed that we don't have time. i do like foreplay but its hard to get into when its late and about 2 hours after you should have been in bed. with the porn its done and over so i don't have to bother her. that is what our issue is now. I really thought that she didn't want to please me when she didn't want it but now i know it was miss communication. i kinda think we might have this porn issue under control now but she thinks i need help so I'm try to give her what she wants. i think that we had more of a miss understanding of what the other one thought than anything else. If my wife doesn't want sex but she really love to see me pleased than i will let her now that i know that she doesn't mind doing that. i just felt before like it was forced. as far as how often i want it on average probably every other day. but then there are times i could want it a couple time a day. I just wish it could be more sporadic and not a set time. it seems like the only time we can is after the kids go to bed or not at all. my wife is right i did make her feel like she wasn't enough now that i look at where she stands on the issue. Like i said this is more than a porn issue in my mind, but it is being resolved with more talking and sharing our feelings. sorry to ramble on and thank you for your time and thoughts. Hey we all need help some where right.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 May 2010): The reason for refusing her attention at times was not the fact that i did not wanted her. hell just the sight of my wife turnes me on. the reason that i would denie my wife is that it felt like she was doing it because she had to not be cause she wanted to. i hope you can understand how i feel. Please dont get me wrong neither im not trying to blame her or try to make anyone think bad of her we are just trying to figure this out and work through it. im just looking for anwsers and help
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): this is his wife...I think my side of the story is needed here! I just gave birth to our 3rd baby. It was a very horrible pregnancy and I did not have the desire to have sex. I offered to give him "favors" but he refused them and turned to porn. This makes me believe that he would rather use porn and do it himself than have me do it for him. I have made myself available in that way. I dont need sex as often as he does but I have no problem doing favors for him instead of sex. If I dont want sex I still want to please him...but he refuses to let me. SO what would you suggest we do?
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (17 May 2010):
 She is not against you watching porn. It is your attentions to porn that she feels neglected.
You need to cut down on your porn watching and pay more attentions to her.
Have a more balanced life. Too much of one thing is not good for your life.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (17 May 2010):
 I don't know if you have an addiction, but a lot of women feel really threatened by porn, so maybe that's her problem and she's jumping to the (possibly incorrect) conclusion that you are addicted. If the problem is just that you need a release more often than she wants to have sex, you could eliminate the porn and try taking naked photos and videos of her to masturbate too. Then she doesn't feel insecure, you don't feel unsatisfied. I also suggest talking about your feeling deprived of sex, since that is an important issue. Communication is always a good thing.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 If your wife is refusing sex, and making you feel guilty for asking, then I don't really think porn is the problem in your relationship. A healthy marriage accommodates both partners' needs. You need communication, not ultimatums.
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (16 May 2010):
 I can't say whether you're addicted to porn. But, if it created more problems than you thought it would, maybe you could drop it.
Then you need to find a happy medium with your wife.
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