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This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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Won't have sex with me, but I catch him watching porn??!!!??
Q. I see a lot of this "boyfriend/husband watches porn" topic on on here. So what's the deal when he says he's never been interested in porn, you've been together 3 years, living together for 2, and maybe had sex a total of 10 times--no, it wasn't ...
A. 20 June 2010: This definitely sounds like a classic addiction and it sounds like he was addicted long before you were together by the fact that you've never had a good sex life together and that he hasn't had much experience besides you and one other ... (read in full...)
Are all men carrying sexual baggage like this?
Q. I have been together with him for about eight years now. For almost seven of those years I did not know how to have an orgasm through penetration alone because I was a virgin when we met and did not have sexual experience. We had to use my hands ...
A. 20 June 2010: I just read your response about threatening to dump you for an asian girl "cause they're tighter" you need to dump this (love this term that Marieclaire used) douche canoe. He's clearly arrogant and selfish, this relationship will bring you nothing ... (read in full...)
Why has my period changed like this?
Q. Okay first off im not worries just wanting to know why my body does this. On Wed I started light light brown spotting. It got heavier on Thursday and now its a normal period. But getting lighter. It turned red and normal but now i see some brown...
A. 19 June 2010: Sounds normal... The brown is just oxidized blood. When blood is exposed to air it turns brown quickly. That's all. Your period sounds pretty normal to me. Perfectly normal actually.... (read in full...)
So ashamed of my body that I can't go to the pool with them
Q. Hi ! I have 15 years old and i have a problem! My problem is that my school guys are always trying to "catch me", that makes me feel pretty and hot and thats great but you now what they say: "behind clothes we can find a worse thing" and i think th...
A. 19 June 2010: From the way you describe it, it sounds like you're the only one who doesn't think you're attractive. Everyone else disagrees! There's more to hotness than big boobs. If you're super insecure you can buy some great bathing suits that will do wonders ... (read in full...)
Are his angry outbursts a red flag?
Q. Hello, im 16 and my boyfriend is 19. we have been officially dating for one month but casually seeing eachother for about 5 months. in the beginning he told me he used to be very promiscuous. at first he told me he slept with 18 girls then in the ...
A. 19 June 2010: I agree with oldersister. He pushed her through a window??? People don't just "fall through windows" and he said they were fighting. Get out of there before he does the same or worse to you. Run!... (read in full...)
Are all men carrying sexual baggage like this?
Q. I have been together with him for about eight years now. For almost seven of those years I did not know how to have an orgasm through penetration alone because I was a virgin when we met and did not have sexual experience. We had to use my hands ...
A. 19 June 2010: Wow sounds like a jerk in bed. Do men understand that the reason women orgasm from sex is due to friction on the clitoris? And that doggie-style hits nowhere near it? The reason you can while on top is you can control exactly how your clitoris is ... (read in full...)
Do girls find muscles attractive?
Q. do girls find muscles attractive? cuz when ever i go out with a couple of my buddies who work out, i always find girls checking them out, so yeah.. what do you girls find attractive?...
A. 19 June 2010: Not all girls. I prefer a little definition but no crazy amounts of muscle. I don't like super skinny boys, rather have a little pudge than bony. But that's just me... Every woman has different tastes. Just like I'm sure every guy has different ... (read in full...)
Is this normal or am I psyching myself out?
Q. I look pregnant but im not. I know I had sex 7 wks ago but I got my peiod the day after, then on the 28th, and im on it right now. I took 2 HPT and both said neg. The first one was the day after my period was suppose to happen 2...
A. 19 June 2010: Sore boobs are a symptom of the pill. You definitely feel pregnant at times. Sometimes it even sets off that thing in your mind telling you are pregnant (I swear it's like a sense). You're not pregnant though. That's how the pill works, by making ... (read in full...)
On the rare occassion I'm attracted to someone, the feeling fades quickly. Help!
Q. I don't feel anything towards men. Everytime I meet someone I think I'm attracted too, that slight feeling fizzles out quickly. I don't know why. I have never been more confused in my life. Someone could tell me they loved me and it wouldn't...
A. 19 June 2010: You probably just haven't met the right guy. I was the same way until my current boyfriend came along, then it was like a light switch in my brain. Guys would like me but I wouldn't care, I'd just brush them off.... (read in full...)
Freeze up ...but I just want to say "I love you"
Q. i love a girl.....i tried to tell her my love bt i keep failing whenever i call her...i always get stuck wif the the word 'i'..the other 2 words 'love you' always doesnt come out of my mouth...
A. 19 June 2010: It can be VERY scary to tell someone you love them for the first time. If you want to tell her but can't get the words out, try writing it down instead. Or maybe face the wall so you're not looking right at her. Good luck! New love is so exciting. ... (read in full...)
Is it possible to suddenly stop having an orgasm?
Q. Is it possible to suddenly stop having an orgasm? Just curious!...
A. 19 June 2010: God I hope you don't just run out! You can continue to have orgasms as long as you still have feeling below your waist and hands that move. If you mean mid-orgasm, yeah sometimes it can get interrupted. Annoying, I know. Sometimes the stimulation ... (read in full...)
What could these symptoms mean?
Q. ok so for the past 2 days i have been really tired and yesterday i started getting heartburn im due for my period soon but im worried i usually get heart burn before my period but not that im really tired maybe im just catching a cold i have...
A. 19 June 2010: Could be a cold, allergies, could be that you're just not sleeping well ate some bad beans. Wait it out for a few days or a week and see what happens. It doesn't sound life-threatening. I wouldn't go to a doctor yet based on the symptoms heartburn ... (read in full...)
Is this normal or am I psyching myself out?
Q. I look pregnant but im not. I know I had sex 7 wks ago but I got my peiod the day after, then on the 28th, and im on it right now. I took 2 HPT and both said neg. The first one was the day after my period was suppose to happen 2...
A. 19 June 2010: You wouldn't visually be able to tell if you're pregnant. If you're on your period now, you're not pregnant. If you're on the pill and you've been good about taking it, you're not pregnant. Stop psyching yourself out. The pill is extremely ... (read in full...)
Should I be mad?
Q. My wife of 10 years was texting with her friend last week. Her friend was going to a party at the home of my wifes ex boyfriend. My wife and I are both white and her friend and ex are African American. She told me about the party but when I read ...
A. 19 June 2010: Yes, it does sound bad. But the key there is SOUNDS, not is. Truth is when you go looking for something, you're going to find something. Not necessarily a real something, but something upsetting. I think it does sound bad, but really, I wouldn't ... (read in full...)
Can a doctor tell by physical exam if a person has engaged in anal sex?
Q. Can a doctor tell by physical exam that a person engages or has engaged in anal sex?...
A. 19 June 2010: Not unless it was super rough and tore something or aggravated something.... (read in full...)
Is it normal not to be boy-crazy at my age?
Q. hi I am 14 and I have a friend who is Boy Crazy! Like every time we go to hang out that is all she talks about!! I am not so boy crazy... I like boys but not as much as her. she always makes fun of me and say I'm gay because their not always on my ...
A. 19 June 2010: Nah I've never been boy crazy. I barely even started to like boys until I was like 15, and even then it was never a huge thing. And I'm not gay. Next time she says that say something like, "And whatsamatta with you, overcompensating for something?"... (read in full...)
Am I insane for wanting to go to Ireland to find love?
Q. I seem to have some kind of crazy obsession with Ireland. So much so that I'm strongly considering saving money for a few months, taking a flight over, and backpacking for a while... with a hidden agenda of falling in love with an Irishman. How bad ...
A. 19 June 2010: Well I guess we all just love Collin Farrell and his lovely accent now don't we. :) Even if you don't find love, Ireland is spectacularly beautiful and you'll have a total blast. Go for it!... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is abusive and has raped me more than once! How do I get myself and my children out?
Q. For those that dont judge...rape...i was just raped by my boyfriend of 3 years. We have 2 sons together. One that is 6 years old and another who is 2 and a half. We had a few drinks (him a lot and myself a few). He wasnt okay with me saying no to ...
A. 19 June 2010: You need to find yourself a women's shelter. They won't force you to go to the cops or your parents, they provide a safe place to stay and counseling. You can also be around other women with children in your situation. Women's shelters are a ... (read in full...)
Does he like me for who I really am, or who he thinks I am?
Q. I'm more experienced than my boyfriend, and his ex girlfriend keeps bugging him and telling him I'm a whore, and I think she is trying to get him back, he wants to still be with me, and I don't know if he likes me for me or for what he has heard ...
A. 19 June 2010: You think he likes you because he heard you slept around? I don't think so. Lots of guys feel really insecure about their girlfriend's number. If he's really a boyfriend, rather than a hook up, he's definitely ignoring the ex calling you a whore and ... (read in full...)
I'm 19 and have been accused of being a pedophile! What should I do?
Q. i am 19 and i was havin a threesome with 2 17 year old twins.their parents were supposed to be pickin up their brother at the airport but the flight got canceled so they came back to the house to find me havin sex with their daughters in the living ...
A. 19 June 2010: In most states the age to consent is 16, some are 17 and a few are 18. If you're in a state where the age is 16 or 17 he can't do anything legal against you. If the age is 18, that's definitely not pedophilia, it's statutory rape. I don't think many ... (read in full...)
Does the length of time determine how 'good' sex is?
Q. Before my boyfriend and I started dating, he told me the longest time he had sex for was several hours. I have a few other friends who have had sex for a similar length of time as well. For my boyfriend and I, our sex lasts for about ten minutes. So ...
A. 19 June 2010: Generally the longer you're turned on for, the more intense the orgasm. That's not always true though. And maybe he can't last as long with you because you're better in bed than she was! Could be a good thing. It's quite the opposite of the guy ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is friends with his ex, and I think he still has feelings for her!
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for six months. He broke up with his last serious girlfriend in March of last year, rather, she broke up with him. They dated for 4 years, though she cheated on him numerous times throughout the relationship. ...
A. 19 June 2010: "He said he would end ours before he'd end theirs." That is the biggest red flag. That's a really horrible thing for him to say, kind of like he'd prefer to be in a messed up one-sided friendship with his ex than be in a real relationship with you. ... (read in full...)
I want to get past this infidelity but don't know where to start.
Q. hi i am a 25 year old male and been with my girlfriend for 1 year 6 months. we was going good until while i was away at work for 3 weeks, found out that she had a party at her mates house and met a guy and they talked all night. i found this out by ...
A. 18 June 2010: I don't think it's possible to forgive someone who not only cheated on you, but lied. If she had come clean about it, I'd say it might be worth another shot. But since she lied even once confronted, I think you're better off without her. She'll ... (read in full...)
Natural women verses porn...
Q. I have a question... I know there is A LOT of porn out there, many different genres, featuring a lot of different types of people, amateur, alt porn, etc. But if we talk about mainstream porn, which is the most common type, we'd all agree that t...
A. 18 June 2010: "Do women really pay all that much attention to size I know men do we all envy those really hung dudes. They seem to satisfy the females more. Is that really the case or just part of the image?"
Most women I know find a huge one really painful. Duri... (read in full...)
Why does she essentially require that I have an erection during oral sex?
Q. My fiance and I have a pretty good sex life but it's not without some quirks. I've always enjoyed giving her oral sex. She claims that I'm the first who has been able to bring her to orgasm this way. The problem is that she essentially requ...
A. 18 June 2010: What a strange thing to require! Why not try explaining to her the way it was comically explained to me, that it's not going soft, it's just going into standby mode and that it's hard (no pun intended) to be erect for a long time and so it just kind ... (read in full...)
Fun on vacation with her but now what?
Q. About a week ago i went to Panama City with a few friends from College and met a really good looking, down to earth girl. One of my friends and i started talking to her and her friend on the beach(we initiated the conversation.) and ended up getting ...
A. 18 June 2010: No mixe signals. She's broken up with her boyfriend, she's texted you back, she likes you, go get her!... (read in full...)
Is he telling me the truth?
Q. im in a long distance realtion ship my boyfriend moved away about three months ago ,i have seen eachother periodically since he has moved tho. he told me that he wasnt gonna watch porn or anything cause he wants to save him self for me and i ag...
A. 18 June 2010: No they don't have to masturbate. But why don't you want him to masturbate? Why not have webcam sex or something? Three months is a LONG time and for someone his age... If you're worried he's looking at porn, the webcam sex with you would be his ... (read in full...)
What are these embarrassing sounds during sex..?
Q. Why does my vagina make farting sounds during sex? It usually happens after penetration and he withdraws his penis, when I resume standing position I hear these embarrassing sounds.How can I lessen it or stop it completely from happening?...
A. 18 June 2010: It's just something happens. Air gets pushed up into your vagina during sex and is released when the penis is gone in a queef. Unfortunately there's nothing you can do. Fortunately it's good practice for learning to laugh at mishaps during sex, a ... (read in full...)
Test says negative but still no period, am I pregnant?
Q. i have a problem i have missed a period by about 6 days and i am never late and i have a few pregnancy sign like a few days ago i had a spot of blood and i have been haveing cramps and really sore breats, needing a toilet all the time and i keep ...
A. 18 June 2010: "spot of blood and i have been haveing cramps and really sore breats, needing a toilet all the time"
These are more like menstrual pains than pregnancy. The reason pregnant women need to use the toilet more is that the fetus is pushing on their blad... (read in full...)
He wants to have sex with me... to practice!!!!
Q. Hello, I'm a 17 year old straight girl, and recently one of my male friends, who is gay, was telling me about how it's common for gay guys to have sex with their female friends sort of as 'practice'... He didn't directly ask me but I'm inferrin...
A. 17 June 2010: I've never ever heard of gay men doing this. How is that practice for a man to have sex with a woman in preparation for having sex with men? Why on earth would you need practice? I have a ton of gay male friends and none of them would ever have sex ... (read in full...)
I found out my boyfriend received oral sex from a male years ago... is he gay???
Q. well about two months ago i found out that my boyfriend of 4 years got oral sex from a male about 4 times,, he says they never had sex only oral.. and the reason he never told me was because he was ashamed. this all happened when he was between the ...
A. 17 June 2010: Getting oral sex is pleasurable and human sexuality is WAY more plastic than gay or straight. Don't try to label him as gay just because of that. So what if he had oral sex with a man? Women have sex with other women and still wind up with guys. ... (read in full...)
Wetness...
Q. Hey, i was wondering is it normal to get wet by just thinking of sexual stuff? Also is it normal to get in the mood out of nowhere like just laying in bed doing nothing? Lastly do guys get turned on finding out their girl is wet? Thanks....
A. 17 June 2010: Oh yeah, they get turned on. Some guys all you have to do is tell them and they're like ready for sex. Some women stick their boyfriend's hands down their pants to feel it to get their guy turned on. Wetness is what makes sex pleasurable for both ... (read in full...)
We're in a long distance relationship and he's paying for porn, should I be concerned?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year now and have found ourselves in a long distance relationship where we see each other every second month. This is not a permanent arrangement but will be for 8 months. We keep in touch regularl...
A. 17 June 2010: I think it's perfectly normal for you to be upset if he's doing webcams with other women. That's not porn, that's interaction with other women. Most guys don't realize it's crossing the line into cheating, so maybe you should talk about it with him. ... (read in full...)
Is it normal for men like me to want to spice up marital sex life with an escort?
Q. My wife of 15 years took a remark I made the wrong way. She got really upset and I said it did come out the wrong way. She is the only one I have been with in 15 years. The truth is the sex isn't like it used to be. I suggested having an escort ...
A. 17 June 2010: You shouldn't pressure her into it and generally it's best to allow her to a) pick the girl and b) let her set any ground rules she wants, like that you can't touch the other woman if that's what she wants. If you're planning on having the escort ... (read in full...)
Am I gay or is this a fetish?
Q. i am a young lad an iv always believed i am straight ive slept with quite a few girls an never really questioned my sexuality until the last year or so. it started when i was told by a friend about his girlfriend slipping a finger up his bu...
A. 17 June 2010: Lots of men like anal sex or fingering or just anal anything. But due to the fact that it's typically a gay male thing, most guys don't ask for it or talk about it at the risk of being called gay. Lots of straight men watch shemale or gay porn and ... (read in full...)
What do people think of the 'Rubber Band Theory'?
Q. This is for both for both guys and girls. Be good to hear both points of view. Do you believe in the Rubber Band Theory that men need to pull back after intimacy? How do guys feel during this period of needing Space? ...
A. 17 June 2010: Some guys just need their space. A lot of times neither the girl or girl realizes they've "encroached" and then the guy (or sometimes the girl) needs some alone time in their man cave. If you give them that space usually things go back to normal ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is visiting dating and teen porn sites and its ruining our intimacy!
Q. My bf does not think dating forums and porn has anything to do with me. I feel unsexy and not good enough. He cant stay of teenporn sites. I hate it it affects our sex life. He does not even try to satisfy me. He is using cipralex which makes it ...
A. 17 June 2010: Dating forums are not acceptable. The porn thing, he sounds addicted if he's not only no longer interested in sex. He sounds like he's so sucked into it he doesn't care about you at all. Dating sites are really over the line. Is he planning on ... (read in full...)
Effects of abuse?
Q. So when I was younger like 6, I had a sexual experience with a boy who was almost 14. Then I had another with a couple ppl who were like family to me. I am a pretty strong person so I delt with it silently for many years. A good friend of mine who ...
A. 17 June 2010: I think the best thing for you would be to see a therapist. The people here can give great advice, but this is an issue that will take a lot of time to work through and it may be painful for you to re-experience. I wish you luck.... (read in full...)
Will she think my penis is too small?
Q. My best friend and I decided that we should have sex, just to see if we should be together. I'm worried that she might think my penis is to small. I measured my penis and it is 4 and a half inches. I just wanted to know from a females opinion is ...
A. 17 June 2010: 4.5 flaccid or hard? Anyways, you should be good since only the first 3 inches of the vagina have a lot of nerves. I've never heard of a guy being dumped for too small a penis unless it's like cocktail sausage small while hard. Like lots of people ... (read in full...)
Why doesn't he reply to my texts?
Q. So I've been dating this guy for 5 months. We really like each other but I have a concern. Whenever we text or talk on the phone, the either doesnt reply or it says things like "K" but when we see each other in person, the fun is nonestop. Does this ...
A. 17 June 2010: Some people just hate texting and phones in general. That's kind of just guy speak, one syllable, grunts, yes, no, k. Try asking him about it.
To the second question, probably a bad idea, but if he agreed to meet her maybe not. And you really c... (read in full...)
Is he turned off by oral sex?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a 43 yr old man for almost a year now. Since our first sexual encounter I realize he has some mild ED. I notice that while going down on me he never has an erection. My question- is this related to the ED or is ...
A. 17 June 2010: You should ask him if he enjoys it and/or what you can do better for when you give him oral. Some guys just don't really like doing oral but do it anyways to please their woman. I wouldn't worry if he's not completely turned on to the point of being ... (read in full...)
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