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age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Hi, I recently hooked up with a guy and whilst we were in bed fooling around he took off my pants, then he stopped and was like ew, so I asked what's the problem and he told me "your vagina is gross".I've had my confidence knocked by it my whole life and now I really feel like I never want to go near another guy for fear of this happening again...There isn't anything proper wrong with my vagina it's got normal labia majora and is clean etc but on one side one of the labia minora hangs out, about 4 cm.This has really destroyed my confidence... I'd like to know from guys an girls - was this guy just not very nice or am I gross?Thanks :(
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female
reader, BunnyTee  +, writes (7 May 2010):
 We have a name for guys like this and it's not fit to put into print here.
I'm impressed that you're advanced enough to know and properly use biologic terms! I think it's just your own genetic individuality, sweetie. Like different nose sizes, eye color, ect. Guys like this are clueless and usually remain so for most of their lives! It screams total inexperience on his part. It's the equivalent of rudely commenting on the foreskin of guy who hasn't been circumcised. This guy is an ass. Plain and simple. Be proud of who you are! Relegate this type of inexperienced ahem man and his lack of common decency to the less-than-second-best pile.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 May 2010):
 John Shaft? He's a mean mother...Shut your mouth.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): 'Can you find the shaft?' it asks...
I have to admit I've seen nicer. I think the green stuff is distinctly off-putting. Though it could be mint ice-cream. Which is a nice idea.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 May 2010):
 You don't actually have to click on the green weinie. Close your eyes for a second and click somewhere around it. The variations are really kind of fascinating. It's like faces. No two are alike.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 May 2010):
Q, you have to scroll your mouse over the screen and click. Then you get a little powerpoint-type text introduction (or click on "skip intro"). Then you have a choice: click on the leaves of the statue of David or the statue of the Venus de Milo in order to see a sampling of drawings of "normal" genitals. We are all different.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 May 2010):
I have a link for you to look at. It shows drawings of some differences in genitalia--there's a huge range of "normal". I'm sure you are quite normal.
Don't sell yourself short. Carry yourself like the beautiful and special young woman that you are.
Most men will tell you they are happy and grateful to be even close enough to see a woman's genitals. It is a place of privilege and should not be taken lightly.
Raise your standards in guys. Work on your self-esteem and confidence. Don't settle for the first guy who gives you any attention.
You sound panicky and worried and I have to tell you that you need to relax, learn to love yourself and learn to spot the jerks. This guy was most definitely in the jerk category.
Look, people react to how things are presented to them. If you have a beautiful painting, but hide it in a corner with a lot of dust and dirt on it, shove a dead plant in front of it and make faces whenever anyone goes to admire it, people will start to think it's an awful painting. But hang it in a prominent place, put some nice lights on it, put a little placard with the artist's name, date and title of the work, and suddenly, it's "important." It's a piece of art, not just some scribbling.
If you cower when your genitals are exposed and look miserable, the guy is going to think something is wrong with you. If you allow him to disrobe you as if you were Aphrodite rising from the sea, and look at him with an expectant look, like you are waiting to be worshipped, well, then, he's going to have a different attitude.
It's about YOUR attitude and YOUR comfort level.
My point is that your current attitude and comfort level are very low, and you probably shouldn't be getting naked with anyone until you have that sorted out. You may be looking to sex to help lift your confidence, but if you are vulnerable, it can have the opposite effect. I know, I was your age once. Long ago. Long long ago. But I digress.
You have to treasure yourself, ALL of you, including that inner labia that you are so worried about. "Just LOOK at how fabulous I am! Aren't you a lucky man to be allowed anywhere near me? I'm a gloriously beautiful and smashing young woman and I deserve nothing but the best."
If it really bothers you, save up some money and go see a plastic surgeon. They can remove most of the tissue if you really can't stand it. Personally, I think you should take a look at this link and reflect on why you are being overly critical of yourself.
http://www.plannedparenthood.org/teen-talk/watch/am-normal-behind-fig-leaf-26794.htm
Good luck.
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the response, I wasn't the first girl he had been with and I know hat your saying is true that I shouldn't just go for anyone but seem as I have spent my short amount adolescen life experience bring ashamed of dowwn there that I have become quite shy with guys and I was just flattered anyone would go for me and jumped at the chance.
Thanks for the advice, if you have anything further to add that would be apreciated but I don't suppose you do so don't worry.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (5 May 2010):
You know, I don't think I could pick mine out of a line up. I guess what it looks like doesn't carry any importance for me.
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female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (5 May 2010):
 What a Jerk!! I bet yours was the first vagina he had EVER seen and was shocked!!!
Pity you didnt get a look at his penis - you could have also made a similar comment!!
Honeygirl
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female
reader, Myrrh  +, writes (5 May 2010):
 He`d probably never seen a real one before just watched porn. "Google" vagina and see for yourself, they come in all shapes and sizes. You are perfectly normal x
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (5 May 2010):
 I think most of the other comments are valid. You got into bed with someone who is sexually insecure and inexperienced. Frankly if you were going that far with a man and then he said that he has a major problem - most men are far too busy have a good time at that stage to give you an anatomy lesson! There is nothing wrong with your body so just accept it was him with the problem and be thankful you don't have a relationship with him!
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reader, anonymous, writes (5 May 2010): What an idiot. Look you will meet guys like that, there are some guys that just can't handle a vagina being anything other than their preconception of what it should look like.
Then you will meet others who love big labia.
Most of us however don't mind either way we just love Vagina's, all shapes and sizes of them and they do come in all sorts of wonderfully different shapes. I can safely say the only vagina that I've ever been turned off by was one that wasn't clean and I don't mean hadn't showered that day because I love that, I mean long term poor hygeine dirty.
Don't let it knock your confidence, it's your vagina and it's unique to you. A clean, healthy vagina is a beautiful thing no matter how it's formed. You were just unlucky enough to meet a shallow d**k of a guy this time.
I met a girl like that before that didn't like the shape of my foreskin and thought it too was gross, her problem not mine. She missed out on a loving, caring guy, that has never cheated, used or abused, earns great money, is selfless in all things (except the TV when there's a match on) and lists the sexual satisfaction of my girlfriend as one of my top priorities in life.
I feel sorry for that guy, he's probably missed out on great thing with you because of his shallowness.
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female
reader, single gal  +, writes (5 May 2010):
WHAAT? he probably never seen a normal vagina. probably only seen the one s on porn movies and FYI those ladies go to see plastic surgeons to make look like that.
any normal person knows those things come in different sizes and shapes and are all beautiful.
be proud of what you are and what you have!
he is a total JERK
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female
reader, princessjasmine +, writes (5 May 2010):
what an asshole! embrace ur vagina, other men will love it
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female
reader, person12345 +, writes (5 May 2010):
 This is what happens when guys only see airbrushed vaginas. They see a real one and can't handle it. I'm sure your vagina is fine. It's extremely common to have inner labia that are longer, and it's almost as common to have one lip be longer than the other. Unless you have labia that are so long you can't wear underwear because of the chafing, then your vagina is totally normal. This guy is clearly a jerk. You deserve to find someone who is more in touch with reality. A guy who actually gets turned on by vaginas (the majority I'd say) in all their realness. Don't let this one guy destroy your self-esteem! Let him go back to his little fantasy world. Go online and look up what other women's look like (NOT porn stars). I'm sure you'll find ones that look "odder" than yours that are still totally normal.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (5 May 2010):
"Douche canoe"!!! LOVE THAT. hahahahaha! Poster, I think you now know what to call that guy. :D
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female
reader, mizz.butterflies +, writes (5 May 2010):
 what? ok my mouth opened and it couldnt close for a few seconds.are you serious????? are you even asking about this???? of course he was rude and theres nothing wrong with you.even if he did think something was wrong with your vagina he should have never said a thing. but the good thing in this case is that u found out soon enough and that saved u trouble. Do not EVER do anything with a guy that is so bluntly rude. There is absolutely nothing wrong. Some guys are ignorant and believe there are only like 2 or 3 types or vaginas but if you look it up you're gonna see that there are more than 50 vagina types and almost every vagina looks different. This guy has probably not had sex in a long time and also thinks its ok to degrade women. LEAVE HIM ALONE.I suggest you text him and say "Good thing I didn't see your dick,I heard it looks like a peacock". Damn. You just got me mad.
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female
reader, Sakuchanz +, writes (4 May 2010):
Don't you ever let one guy ruin your confidence! You're perfectly normal because every vagina comes in different shapes sizes and lengths. One woman's clitoris is about the size of her thumb!
Instead of jumping into racy situations with guys, find someone who doesn't care about that sort of thing. The guy who destroyed your confidence was a dick.
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female
reader, raiders +, writes (4 May 2010):
 This guy was just rude and I really hope you didn't have sex with him. Let go of your insecurities you will meet guys that are nice and classy who will act like a gentlemen around you, and than you will meet the average joe who is rude, nasty, and a jerk. Learn to differentiate the two and aim high don't go for the loosers.
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (4 May 2010):
It's not you. He's just an idiot who has probably been watching too much porn and living in la la land. Build up your confidence again and get back out there. Take your time getting to know a guy as well, so you have a better idea about his character.
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (4 May 2010):
He's not very nice. Forget him. And don't hook up with guys if you don't have much confidence. Work on that first, THEN you can bring home random guys who might say stupid, thoughtless things to you and it won't hurt as much.
Seriously, don't bring these guys home if you cannot handle this, you're setting yourself up for a life of feeling inadequate, okay? I mean it for the best for you.
Take care.
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