A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:ok, well i'm very much in love with my fiance, who I have two beautiful kids with - our eldest who is 19 months and our new arival who is just 11 weeks. I feel so close to him and can't imagine my life without him - i can't wait for him to be my husband. We would have married long before now but its so expensive...so having to wait til we can afford it as at the mo every penny we earn goes on the boys. But i try not to let that get me down as although we arent yet it feels like he already is my husband - we already have that partnership.My problem is a fairly silly one i expect...basicly i was online and it came up in the search engine that a porn site had been looked at...I'm *not* a snooper atall but as i wanted to be totally sure i looked at our browser history and sure enough it was there. It must have been my fiance as no1 else uses the computer accept me and him. I thought we had a great sex life...I mean its not as active as before the children because we are both so tired come evening(he works full time too) but we still make time for each other and i thought we had a good sex life. But if this was true why would he look at porn? is it harmless...? or is it some sign that I'm not satasfying him anymore? by the way only one site had come up..so he may have only done it once..who knows..i didnt want to snoop furthermore into it... am i being silly or should i worry? i love him and our beautiful family we have together so much.
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female
reader, Ashco  +, writes (1 June 2010):
My answer maybe a little late and plus I never comment on anything but i well for this. Here is my opinion anyways.
For one porn isn't cheating, the only way it would be is if he actually new those women and was actually f*cking with them.
2. u said it was just one website, he could of been curious.
3. Some men do like to look at porn, its not a big deal. (i have a bf and i'm sure he looks at porn. Idk b/c i don't snop and besides he tells me everything about himself and his past. And if he did look at porn I wouldn't mind b/c i know he wants me at the end of the day)
and 4 i wouldn't worry about it too much, at the end of the day he's with you and wants you.
A
female
reader, nothing.lasts.and.nothing's.lost +, writes (19 May 2010):
 I'm a woman, but I have been their with the whole boyfriend and porn situation, and all I can say really, is that everyone is different and everyone has different opinions on this subject. But ultimately, it's about how YOU feel, if you are uncomfortable about it, you must confront him, not in an angry mannor, but simply tell him how it makes you feel, that you're not happy with it, and you have every right to ban it out of the relationship. I posted a uestion on here a couple years ago when I was in a similar situation, but I'd found continuous searches of maked women on my boyfriends computer, and I broke up with him eventually, because it did nothing for my self esteem and I lost my lust for him because it was such a turn off. People told me I was insecure and men told me 'we all do it' and I'd have to accept it, Don't listen to comments like that. I have a wonderful partner now and we share the same views and so on... Sorry for rambling, but what i'm trying to say is, in your situation, married and with children, understandably you don't want to ruin that, but you should never let your husband look at porn if it effects you. Respect works both ways and i'm sure if you had a huge dildo and it offended your husband, you'd give it up!
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (18 May 2010):
 Generally men don't use porn to fill a void. That means it's not because their wife isn't beautiful, it's not because they're not satisfied, it's just a masturbation aid. Masturbation and sex are totally different. Just because his sex life is great, doesn't mean he won't occasionally indulge in a little self-love. It's like having fillet mignon every night. It's amazing, but sometimes you just want a Big Mac. If it doesn't bother you that he's watching, don't worry about it.
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A
male
reader, Universe Man +, writes (17 May 2010):
Men have a biological drive to spread their seed to multiple women. A man's sexual desires come from a part of the brain that is eons old and does not know the difference between the computer screen and reality. And so the sex drive is partially satisfied by computer images. Be glad that porn exists, because if it didn't, more men would cheat.
On another note, it is my personal experience that when my girlfriends have allowed a little porn (other women, as far as the prehistoric brain is concerned) into our sex life, it has been a big turn-on for both of us. Consider offering that up to him and you may be surprised at the results and go further to satisfying that desire within him and keep him faithful to you.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (17 May 2010):
It's not anything to worry about so long as it doesn't become an addiction and take over your love life. Much in the same way that women fantasize about actors, or read erotic books, some men look at porn. It's nothing other than a quick release for a few seconds. That's it. It is not better than you, and not as good as you or anything like that. It's just a quick release
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): Hi, I am a married UK male and have a great wife of your age. I love her but still I watch porn once in a while just to warm up; she knows about it; all men I know either watch porn or would love to watch if they get a chance; its harmless and think of it as something your fiance is doing to keep his libido strong. Be nice with your fiance and make sure you ask how his work load is and if you can help with something. Keep his stress down; he will do the rest!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 May 2010): If it's just one link and not a ton (pointing at regular viewings) I don't think it should be a problem. Many people watch porn and many people masturbate even though they're married. This doesn't mean he isn't satisfied with you. It just means he had an itch he needed to scratch.
Still if you're uncomfortable with it, ask him about it. Just tell him you stumbled upon that link and that you wondered if he isn't content with the sex life you have now. be calm, don't accuse.
Now, if it's more serious like chat sex sites and stuff like that, you should confront him, because then there might be a bigger issue.
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