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This question has 7 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
12 October 2011: While generally facebook is considered a fun way to keep in touch with friends and share photos, it can be a huge source of turmoil in a relationship. If I had a dime for every time I read "I'm worried because I saw something on her/his facebook..." ...
Is Pornography cheating?
This question has 100 answers by readers of DearCupid.ORG.
Newest answer was posted
1 May 2011: The age old question on this site seems to be "is pornography use cheating?" My response to that first depends on how you define cheating. A relationship is basically a sexual contract, an agreement between two (sometimes more) people. These people ...
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I looked at porn and my wife thinks I cheated!
Q. How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am ...
A. 24 June 2010: I guess really the intimacy is lost when one partner has a problem with it and the other views. It kills one partner's view of the other. It especially takes away the intimacy (I'd think from both sides) when one partner lies about it. You're right, ... (read in full...)
I looked at porn and my wife thinks I cheated!
Q. How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am ...
A. 23 June 2010: Oh and the porn industry is NOT a reliable source. They can't give any real numbers, they just sort of spread rumors about it and vaguely speculate in interviews to make it seem like porn is now cool among women. But polls of real women show a very ... (read in full...)
I looked at porn and my wife thinks I cheated!
Q. How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am ...
A. 21 June 2010: Recently. Some in 2005, most this year or last year though. It seems the numbers haven't changed much since around 2004. The only number that's changing is numbers of addictions, which is rising. It's now estimated that 15% of men who use ... (read in full...)
Is he turned off by oral sex?
Q. I have been in a relationship with a 43 yr old man for almost a year now. Since our first sexual encounter I realize he has some mild ED. I notice that while going down on me he never has an erection. My question- is this related to the ED or is ...
A. 17 June 2010: You should ask him if he enjoys it and/or what you can do better for when you give him oral. Some guys just don't really like doing oral but do it anyways to please their woman. I wouldn't worry if he's not completely turned on to the point of being ... (read in full...)
I looked at porn and my wife thinks I cheated!
Q. How can I prove to my wife I am not, and have never cheated on her? Recently my wife found out I had been looking at porn, it is something we had agreed not to do in the past, argued about in the past, and for some reason I looked at it again (I am ...
A. 17 June 2010: I agree, it's tricky. I think for her it all boils down to the fact that to her porn is cheating. I think it's tremendous of you to be so willing to try not to use porn because you know it hurts her and she should be happy with how much you try. ... (read in full...)
Do bacterial infections affect fertility?
Q. Can bacterial vaganitous effect me from getting pregnant?...
A. 16 June 2010: Do mean bacterial vaginosis? It can have a permanent effect on your fertility if you don't have it treated.... (read in full...)
Period worries...
Q. So I think, I am not sure, I am getting my period a week early? I am not sure if it is spotting or what. It goes from brown to red then nothing. I have cramps and the feeling of crying. My body is achy and im tired. I know im not preggo...
A. 16 June 2010: Birth control will change your cycle. That's its point. Your period will be different on the pill. The bleeding women experience on the pill isn't actually a true period, it's calling withdrawal bleeding and is actually a separate function. I ... (read in full...)
If he wants to settle down with me, why is he dating other people?
Q. About 5 months ago my high school sweetheart and I re-connected on a romantic level. We have stayed in touch over the 10 years since we graduated and were friends and other than the occasional date we had not dated in over 10 years. 5 months ago we ...
A. 16 June 2010: I think you're being played. He's trying to control you by being "perfect." Why would he want you to commit to him if he won't commit to you? If he really thought you were the one and wanted to be with you forever, he wouldn't be dating lots of ... (read in full...)
How can I make these dreams go away?
Q. Me and this guy we use to be great friends but he was a jerk to me and I could see he never really cared about me like a friend should. He’s not my friend anymore and I was really hurt by this at first. Anyways, I also liked him more than a friend ...
A. 16 June 2010: Dreams generally don't mean anything and there's not a whole you can do to control them other than not sleeping. Eventually they will lessen. I like the scotch idea! Haha.... (read in full...)
Where are men's erotic spots???
Q. i really want to please my fiance because he is always giving me orgasms every time, but i feel i dont give him pleasure because once he has satisfied me, he then cums and its over so, can someone please tell me where mens spots are exept anal, its ...
A. 16 June 2010: You say you don't pleasure him, but he cums. Isn't that what pleasuring is....? Why not just build him to orgasm slower, that always makes for a better one. Everyone's erotic spots are different but here are some common ones:
Nipples, ears, test... (read in full...)
Is she lying about her "size" preferences?
Q. OK, I'm having a major issue with something that I know is terribly immature, but I can't help it. I am dealing with the "her ex is bigger" syndrome (his 9 to my 6), and I am OK with myself and my abilities, but I can't understand the mixed signals ...
A. 16 June 2010: q - And 73% of statistics are made up on the spot.
Of all my friends the general consensus is that around 6-7 inches is the perfect size. Yes, we've talked about it. You should believe her when she says he was too big. I've gone out with guys who... (read in full...)
Does this make me less attractive to him?
Q. I think I'm fairly good looking I work out take good care of my self always make sure hair make-up is awesome cute sexy clothes but my husband has this thing for anal sex and I would rather be horse wiped I HATE it for one he is blessed down there ...
A. 16 June 2010: Whether or not you have anal sex with him has no effect on whether he will look at porn. It sounds like a great excuse, but he's just trying to excuse his looking at porn by blaming it on you. Not cool. He's basically doing two mean things with ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend wants to watch me have sex with a girl!
Q. ok so my bf asked me if i would do sexual things with another girl while hes watching.. idk whats that called but i have been intrested in that (we are both 18) so he said if i wanted he could try and find someone for me to do stuff with. but then i ...
A. 16 June 2010: If you're not 100% on this it could be a really big mistake. Lots of relationships have been ruined because one party (typically the girl) was pressured in this. Don't do this unless you're totally sure you want to. Some things if you do decide t... (read in full...)
Can this make my breasts bigger?
Q. When my boyfriend sucks my nipples does it make boobs grow bigger?...
A. 16 June 2010: No. Not at all. Did he tell you that? Your boobs can temporarily get larger when you are extremely aroused though.... (read in full...)
I hate porn! Is it true all men watch it?
Q. I'm a 21 year old girl, and I HATE porn. I really, downright hate it. I think that, because of it, I may be doomed to stay single forever. I had a boyfriend until recently. He watched porn, but I just had to deal with it and it killed me inside...
A. 16 June 2010: "I once asked him if he thought porn stars had better bodies than me and he said that yes, because they have to."
Wow good thing you got out of there. That is an awful thing to say to someone. He clearly had issues in that he seemed to prefer porn... (read in full...)
He won't let himself cum because I can't cum. Please help!
Q. I have something that is bothering me. I have been seperated from my husband for about a year. I have recently had sex with someone whom I used to be partners with and we have a long history. The sex is fantastic and I enjoy it completely. I do ...
A. 15 June 2010: Wow that's pretty selfless of him! Try having him add in a finger or do oral on you. If that doesn't help, try adding in a small vibe. That should do the trick.... (read in full...)
My husband wants a three-some. Is that normal?
Q. My husband of 15 yrs and I always had great sex. Two years ago he made a statement that upset me. He said he wanted to have another woman join us because he has been with the same girl for 13 years. He says he loves me and just wants to add ...
A. 15 June 2010: Birdy, yes. Hahaha. And I agree with raiders (as usual). Say sure, you'd be happy to bring in your male friend. If that doesn't make him almost as excited as bringing in a woman he just wants the OK to cheat. Otherwise it sounds like basically he's ... (read in full...)
Why can't I orgasm after masterbation?
Q. My problem is I cant get orgasm or cum while masturbating what is the reason?? Or it's something natural??...
A. 15 June 2010: A lot of women have trouble reaching orgasm (not uncommon to be unable to with just your hands) and a vibrator can help and or watching porn. It's natural. Also, you are stimulating your clitoris right? That's generally more important than what you ... (read in full...)
Why do men enjoy penetrating a girl's mouth so deeply?
Q. Hi! Does anyone know why when you are giving your boyfriend a blowjob they want you to get their penis as far in your mouth as you can? I don't quite understand it, and hopefully I'm not the only person that has run into this. Thanks ...
A. 15 June 2010: It feels better for them, but I think mostly it's a domination thing if they REALLY shove it deep (like gagging deep). It's a popular porn, something like gag factor where guys intentionally make women gag and cry while giving BJs. Depends what you ... (read in full...)
Is fourteen too young to lose your virginity?
Q. Im a 14 year old girl. I met my boyfriend a year ago and have been going out with him since but we have broken up 3 times but got back together. It may sound like a childish relationship but i no that its not. Iv had silly little boyfriends in my ...
A. 15 June 2010: I can barely understand your question, but yes 14 is too young. When your friends don't like your boyfriend it's generally for a good reason. Also, don't let your friend pressure you into it. He said he'll wait for you, so wait until you're older ... (read in full...)
Is 18 too young to buy the sex toy called a "bullet"?
Q. Is 18 too young to buy a bullet? As in the sex toy. I feel like dildos and vibrators are for much older women - but I've never had an orgasm :(...
A. 15 June 2010: A bullet is a vibrator. No it's not too young to buy one. Have fun! Try the ivibe pocket rocket by Doc Johnson. It's a great first one (external use) and you can get it online very cheap (it's expensive in a store).... (read in full...)
Will my future husband be able to tell I'm no longer a virgin?
Q. Feeling very guilty. Hi,I had sex with a guy few months ago, am feeling very guilty about it now.getting very scared to marry. I had sex only once for few minutes and i did not bleed.will my husband come to know that i have lost my varginity whe...
A. 15 June 2010: No he absolutely will not be able to tell. Not all women bleed and the tightness will be the same. You didn't have sex while with him, no one needs to know you're not a virgin.... (read in full...)
My vagina has this smell which is making me uncomfortable..
Q. i have this ugly bad smell at my vagina, dont know why but i have it. I shower atleast 2 times a day when i have my period sometimes more, even if i take a bath. After intercourse i shower before intercourse i shower after intercourse the smell is ...
A. 15 June 2010: I know you say you can't just go to a doctor, but you may have an infection. If you're uninsured or can't afford the doctor planned parenthood or a feminist clinic can help you and may be able to do so for free.... (read in full...)
How do I stop myself thinking paranoid thoughts when my guy is genuinely busy?
Q. Hi. I have been in this relationship for 2 and a half years now. In march this year we had a huge fight I went all quiet and started doing other things which never involved him. He would text me and phone but I kinda shut off not wanting to talk to ...
A. 15 June 2010: Get a hobby, volunteer, go out with friends, do anything that gets you out of your house and keeping busy!... (read in full...)
We use the pull out method for birth control but now I'm worry I might be pregnant!
Q. Possibly pregnant-but don't know how to find out.. I'm a 20 year old university student who recently had intercourse with my boyfriend. Due to medical issues I can't take birth control and he can't use condoms. We have been using the pull out ...
A. 15 June 2010: A doctor will be the best to tell you if you're pregnant. Why can't he use condoms? If he's allergic to latex then there are non-latex ones. There's also the copper IUD for you. The pull-out method is not effective for this very reason. You need to ... (read in full...)
I want to suggest fooling around how should I approach her?
Q. I have this friend who I've known for a few years now and I'm pretty sure that when we first met we both had crushes on each other. Nothing ended up happening and by this point we're good friends. We both just graduated college and she is now ...
A. 15 June 2010: I wouldn't try anything while she still has a boyfriend. Even if they don't last, she's still with him and still has feelings for him. Even if she's attracted to you and thinks what she has with her boyfriend might not last, it's still lasting for ... (read in full...)
Am I pregnant and how do you act after sex?
Q. 1. I had sex without a condom but he didn't cum inside me...I started my period when I was suppose to but its like nothing...like barely anything is there....could I still be pregnant or is my body just reacting to the sex? 2. how do u act normal ...
A. 15 June 2010: If he didn't cum inside you you're probably not pregnant, but the chances aren't zero. You're probably not, and a smaller period is probably a reflection on stress or something like that rather than a reflection of being pregnant. Size of period is ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had sex before we met!
Q. HEY. Me and my girlfriend is together for 2 years and got engaged some time ago [e-mail address removed]. My problem is that I cant deal with the fact that she slept with four guys before we started dating. When I think of this I get so angry th...
A. 15 June 2010: Well like you said it was before you met... Not a reflection on you, and not something you or she can change. It's somewhat sexist to judge a woman on her number of partners. How many women have you slept with?
That said, everyone has felt jeal... (read in full...)
Is it possible to do this while sleepwalking?
Q. Well basicly last wednesday i discoverd a sex site in my fiance's name, emial adress, pic and even his regular password(all of which i knew). obviously i confronted him, and he said he knew about the site and had been trying to get rid of it for ...
A. 15 June 2010: "i've heard of people doing things like this before and having no clue it was them...."
Yeah, people with Alzheimer's, not normal people. I know you so want to believe him, but he's is definitely 100% lying to you. I think you know that too. I agre... (read in full...)
Can you name all the infections I can get by having sex?
Q. Can you name all the infections I can get by having sex ...
A. 15 June 2010: No. There are a lot.... (read in full...)
Pleaseee help me!!! was she a virgin or she lied to me?? I'm really confused
Q. Allrite, im kinda freaking out right now.... I was a virgin until today... Supposedly my girlfriend was too and i really believed that. Right now I am VERY confused... We were gonna have sex soon because we were very comfortable wit each other and ...
A. 14 June 2010: "she was just layin there. When she was on top, once, it went in her the whole way nd she said it hurt a lil bit...but that was it pretty much..."
Generally she won't enjoy it yet because she doesn't know how to yet. Laying there not moving at all ... (read in full...)
I'm a person, not a sex toy -- how do I find a guy who wants that?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm attractive, even though people say I am. I'm 17 and I've only had one boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months and nothing even happened, not even a kiss. I have braces, and people always make comments about how no one wants to kiss ...
A. 14 June 2010: "Is there a way to tell which guy is the right guy without dating everyone and being hurt over and over until I find him?"
Not a surefire way, no. But generally the more they smooth talk you, the more of a player they are. I usually dated nerdy boys... (read in full...)
Boyfriend with pornography addiction
Q. *OP's Original Title* Me and my boyfriend have been dating almost 6 months and recently starting to planning our future together. hes planning to build a house and buying the funiture while Im studying. When Im finished, I just need to get a job an...
A. 14 June 2010: The fact is, he's being honest, which is very good. No he's not going to molest your children or start being violent unless something else is wrong with him. If he wants to stop, get some filter software to install on your computer that only you ... (read in full...)
Did his friend really influence him to masturbate, or did he change?
Q. I recently caught my boyfriend of 5 years masturbating to porn on his PS3. He said he had only been doing it for about six months, when he was friends with someone he was "influencing" him to be a..."pig." He says that other than those six months...
A. 14 June 2010: If it weren't for the "well my friend influenced me" excuse I wouldn't be immediately jumping the conclusion he's lying. Yes there are actually guys who don't masturbate when they have an attractive and willing girlfriend willing to do what they ... (read in full...)
Boyfriends libido is much lower than mine, don't know what to do next!
Q. I have been with my boyfriend just over a year, we fell in love instantly and I moved in 8 months ago. The problem started then for me. In the beginning we were having sex at least once a day and usually more. It was brilliant and I remember ...
A. 14 June 2010: How often does he look at porn? If you've ruled out everything else and absolutely everything else in your relationship is fine, he may be addicted to porn. Though it may be a symptom of something else going on.... (read in full...)
Pleaseee help me!!! was she a virgin or she lied to me?? I'm really confused
Q. Allrite, im kinda freaking out right now.... I was a virgin until today... Supposedly my girlfriend was too and i really believed that. Right now I am VERY confused... We were gonna have sex soon because we were very comfortable wit each other and ...
A. 14 June 2010: So let me get this straight. You're upset because you didn't hurt her and didn't have to force it in...? This is not an indication of lying. If she was turned on it's very likely it wouldn't hurt and many women don't bleed their first time. It ... (read in full...)
Is it normal to feel more horny when in your period?
Q. Kind of awkward to ask this but I don't know who else to really go to. I'm 19 and I just wondering if it is normal to get more horny than NORMALLY during your period? Honestly, I can;t stop thinking about sex, and pretty much any other activity. If ...
A. 14 June 2010: Yup, totally normal. I feel that way and so do a lot of my friends.... (read in full...)
I'm a person, not a sex toy -- how do I find a guy who wants that?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm attractive, even though people say I am. I'm 17 and I've only had one boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months and nothing even happened, not even a kiss. I have braces, and people always make comments about how no one wants to kiss ...
A. 14 June 2010: I'm sorry if this doesn't sound like much help right now if you're hurting, but a guy like that isn't the kind of guy you want to be with and wasn't in fact all that nice. Threatening to break up with someone (or actually doing it) because they ... (read in full...)
"No hair down there"
Q. "OP Own Title" What is the deal with women shaving their pubic area? I don't mind it being trimmed up and shaved on the sides, but all of it? It use to be a sign of maturity. What gives?...
A. 14 June 2010: Well the main thing is that it's that way in porn. They shave it all off in porn for a better visual because the point of porn is to see everything, and it's kind of hard to through a ton of hair. So in that setting it makes sense. A lot of men ... (read in full...)
Don't want to move with my parents -- can I get a new guardian?
Q. My parents are moving and want me to go. I really don't want to! is there a way I can pick my gaurdian or have some take over my gaurdianship. ...
A. 14 June 2010: You can ask them to stay with your grandparents, they might say yes. But on the other hand, most teenagers don't get along with their parents. Most girls I know are frequently angry at their parents, involving screaming fights, name calling, the ... (read in full...)
I'm wondering if I'm asexual?
Q. Hi, I wonder if you have any help that you could give a twenty year old girl who is worried that she is asexual. I can tell you a bit about myself - I have only ever been further than kissing with two boys, both of which I backed away from when I r...
A. 14 June 2010: If you've ever been attracted to a guy, then you're probably not asexual. Judging by your second to last paragraph I'd say pretty much definitely not asexual. You need to learn how to masturbate and arouse yourself. I think a lot of your problem is ... (read in full...)
She's cheated on me at least 8X, doesn't want sex with me!
Q. I have a little problem i've been dating my lady for 25 years in that time she cheated on me at least 8 times that i can remember she would kick me out and have another man in my bed.I Feel that she's the only one for me and i can't get pass that i ...
A. 14 June 2010: I'm sorry she's done this, but once you hit the 2 mark of cheating most people would realize that she's going to continue to cheat and break your heart. At 8, I can safely say that unless she loses her ability to have sex, she will continue to ... (read in full...)
College Bound, Should We Break Up??
Q. Hello. I met this guy when I was 16 and he was 18 on the internet. We were friends for about 2 years,and always liked each other. We began dating and have been together for 7 months. I love him alot, but he lives in the north and i live in the ...
A. 14 June 2010: It seems like a lot of heartache to go through a long distance relationship through college with someone you've never even met. But since it's already long distance, and you've yet to meet him, it will continue to be pretty much the same through ... (read in full...)
Worried that the cramps haven't gone away yet
Q. Had sex with a friend, now developing into more. He used a condom for the first time, but didnt 'finish' and the second time was without one, where he didnt either. I got my period 5 days later. I have had cramps for 3 days (before, first day and ...
A. 14 June 2010: This post is all over the place, I'm not quite sure where to start. One, don't have sex without a condom unless you're on the pill. Good call not having him finish when you were totally unprotected. Two, when you do have a condom, it's perfectly ... (read in full...)
Don't want to move with my parents -- can I get a new guardian?
Q. My parents are moving and want me to go. I really don't want to! is there a way I can pick my gaurdian or have some take over my gaurdianship. ...
A. 14 June 2010: Well kind of, but not really. Your parents have to be willing, and I don't think they will. Of course you can legally change without their permission, but generally they need to do something pretty awful to have an intervention like that. Making a ... (read in full...)
I'm a person, not a sex toy -- how do I find a guy who wants that?
Q. I'm not sure if I'm attractive, even though people say I am. I'm 17 and I've only had one boyfriend, we lasted for 3 months and nothing even happened, not even a kiss. I have braces, and people always make comments about how no one wants to kiss ...
A. 14 June 2010: I think most guys will prefer a person to a sex toy. I'm not exactly sure what you mean. You say at first he didn't do anything with you, but then you say you're worried you'll be treated like a sex toy with your next boyfriend. Have you ever been ... (read in full...)
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